Take Me Out to the Ballgame

[grrrm]

I don’t even know where to begin.  So many bases to cover and so few Louisville Sluggers in the lineup.  But here at FTBG we are, if anything, a team.  Not only are Ray and I a team, but I feel that all of our readers, whether they are with us or against us all strive for the same goal; To be able to absorb and celebrate this next masterpiece, nay

Comments

[dark_haru]

I've recently discovered All of Triplechin Martin's favorite meals.

[dark_haru]

After fully reading this glorious article, I think we should better appreciate the effort Martin puts in to keep himself alive while scarfing down his favorite delights and meals.

You really start to understand that only Martin, a man far greater than regular people like us, is capable of consuming such heart stopping confections. And by doing so, is saving us from ourselves, giving us the chance to live a few more days, and spend those days continuing to hope to see the unlikely end to A Song of Ice and Fire.

Gaiman

[simontanzman]

At the risk of sounding like a brainwashed troglodyte, I think Gaiman gets a lifetime pass thanks to how nut-bustingly awesome "The Sandman" and "Good omens" were. Ripping on him for not writing a quality book since 1996 (um, "American Gods?" Hello?) is like ripping on Paul McCartney for not making quality music since 1970. Even if its true, so what? McCartney still kicks ass.

Re: Gaiman

[simontanzman]

Have to say that Neil only gets a pass for Sandman, Sir Terry cowrote Good Omens, and I bet he wrote the best bits.
Chris, the Aussie one.

Re: Gaiman

[simontanzman]

On what basis do you attribute the best bits to Pratchett? And even if one of them writes a bit initially, the other one assuredly kibbitzed, revised, and rewrote.

But even if Gaiman's name was not attached to "Good Omens" at all, it wouldn't matter. "Sandman" is enough. And "American Gods" scratches me right where i itch (you know the place I mean).

Sigh, I knew it. I've become a Gaiman cultist...

So long; thanks for the fish.

[anonymous]

I've been reading your blog for several months, but this post is complete drivel and very off-putting. I am as disgruntled with Slowpoke Martin as anyone, but this blog has really degenerated into something I'm not interested in.

Embedded irrelevant videos?
Meandering dreck-filled paragraphs?
Fat jokes? (Not just this post, almost every post lately.)
Homosexual jokes?
Criticizing people who strive to make a difference - "not getting hugs from daddy"?

I just unsubscribed from your feed. You've had some funny posts, but the noise outshines the signal. If this is the best you can do, I suggest you grow up and find some way to contribute to the world besides cheerleading a sophomoric bitchfest.

Re: So long; thanks for the fish.

[anonymous]

You're an obese, homosexual activist, aren't you?

Re: So long; thanks for the fish.

[anonymous]

Sorry, I was a bit brusque there. I should've addressed them with a complementary brevity.

Videos - The videos in this post were at least tangentially relevant. And you don't have to watch them (cf. "You can read something else!")

Dreckish paragraphs - It's the Pesci persona. It's totally in character.

And that brings us to the fat/gay/"trying to make a difference" trifecta.

Well, George *is* fat, and grossly so. And he's quite public about behaviors that contribute to that, notwithstanding bone volumes, etc. The so-called gay jokes are new, I think, and you may notice that Pesci didn't really dwell on it. I suspect he was riffing on the "glamour shots" of these titans of Fantasy authordom. As for those who try to make a difference by shouting loudly...place your chips where you will.

So, that's why I took those last three and decided that you're offended because you're an obese, homosexual activist.

- Porkins

Nice post Pesci

[scorpiknox]

I laughed my ass off at the Robert Jordan stuff. Accomplished Blues guitarist or Reptile Hunter. Oh man, I am literally having to wipe tears from my eyes, still

Re: Nice post Pesci

[ser_perfidious]

You fucking said it, scorpiknox.
We *are* the cool kids.

Re: Nice post Pesci

[scorpiknox]

In the anonymity of the Internet, everyone talks like a champ. I'll bet you don't call near strangers "giant flapping pussies" in real life, because you'll be punched at the very least. So, how about observing a little decency, even if we are talking over the Internet?

Re: Nice post Pesci

[scorpiknox]

Sorry, I should have known better:

Mr. Giant Flapping Internet Pussy. There, much more polite.

Captions

[anonymous]

From top to bottom, here are my captions for the portraits of the Masters of Fantasy:

Tairy: "There is no fear in my dojo!"

Jordan: "I have candy and puppies in my van."

Gaiman: "Pardon me whilst I pop the collar on my leather jacket and lean rackishly against this purple post. How's my gaze? Suitably meaningful? I hope you're aware that I'm not your bitch. I'm still relevant, aren't I?"

Martin: "I'm really gonna screw a lot of folks over in about twenty years."

- Porkins

Re: Captions

[anonymous]

The Gaiman one made me laugh until i cried. Ironic that the photo makes him look like an actual prison bitch waiting for his pimp to get back from arranging a deal.

Pimp: I'm whoring you out for a pack of cigarettes.

Gaiman: I'm not your bitch!!! Just let me write in peace!

*PIMP SLAP!!!*

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the true origin of, "Not you your bitch."

Re: Captions

[anonymous]

Well done Porkins - loved the Martin one

-jjh