Take Me Out to the Ballgame
I don’t even know where to begin. So many bases to cover and so few Louisville Sluggers in the lineup. But here at FTBG we are, if anything, a team. Not only are Ray and I a team, but I feel that all of our readers, whether they are with us or against us all strive for the same goal; To be able to absorb and celebrate this next masterpiece, nay, the entire series when it comes to its glorious completion …..….pause……… wait for it…….view:
Oh Najludji, you always know just how we feel.
But back to our team and our recent posts. I like to look at this thing from a baseball perspective, in particular our main responsibility as a literary hitter. Patience. It’s not about swinging as hard as you can all the time at every pitch, no, it is about picking out the right pitch and hitting it hard or where the team needs you to hit it. There is just something great about being at the ball field, the smells, the sounds sure do make you appreciate the spring. It’s that special sound a wood bat makes as it cracks a baseball or a kneecap that makes you feel alive. I’ve always loved the classic ash or maple to get particular jobs done, but the kids today love the ping of aluminum. The light-weight and speed of today’s bats are impressive, but with these tools, we all seem to lose something. Most of all we lose our patience. We all want the homerun; no one likes to grind it out anymore. We are truly a microwave society. But there is something refreshing about taking your time, whether it is manufacturing a couple runs on the diamond or slow cooking some baby-backs, in the end something about all this is very satisfying. Tell me, would this scene be as much fun with aluminum?
Probably not. With aluminum this would have taken two swings at the most. Not very satisfying at all. I mean did you hear that crack? Whew, it gave me the shivers. And remember, baseball, like this blog, is all about enthusiasm and teamwork.
So let’s start with Ray and his little excursion. Now I imagine that most of you who read this blog are patient people. You would have to be to be a GRRM fan. Obviously that patience has been stretched as thin as the elastic on Rotunda’s sweatpants which has the word “Juicy” stamped on his ass, but you are all probably more patient than most. If any of you have kids, you are for sure patient. So I was a little discouraged in the some of the responses to Ray and his restraint from acting like a moron. First of all, Ray is not a triggerman. Ray is an operative, a strategist and that is why he has been regulated to middle management. He usually attacks a problem with his mind first and if that doesn’t work he calls in those with less…..patience, shall we say.
Now I respect the man for doing what he did and how he did it. Like the Biblical Daniel, Ray entered the lion’s den, albeit inhabited by a very slow and large lion, and returned unscathed with the one thing that makes Chubbles Chubbles….his name and his written word. (Lion’s den? What are you taking about Pesci? Go back to Sunday school heathen). Like I said, his written word supporting this blog no less (indirectly, but support nonetheless). If Ray had put on one of those operation pink hats and charged the booth to berate Captain Carrotcake, I would have first kicked him in the nuts and then sent him to the woodshed (that’s not just catchphrase, we actually have a woodshed were we get all “Fargo” on people who piss us off). For those of you unfamiliar with Fargo, rent it and bring a date.
Anyway, no offense if any operation pink fembots are reading this but the disrespect shown by its members to those giving political speeches or providing services is shameful and moronic. It’s like those PETA activists who will tromp over a guy lying in his own puke to throw fake blood on a Manhattanite wearing fake chinchilla. These activist types can all go fuck themselves and if Ray suddenly became one of these fools, he would have certainly lost my respect and, in the end, all credibility. Do these disruptive types really in the end get what they want? Of course not. They are all attention hounds who didn’t get enough hugs from Daddy when they where young. Now it is true that Ray was more of a Momma’s boy growing up but you get my point.
Perhaps this is all a classic case of mistaking the art with the artist. You guys have read Ray’s posts. Does he seem like the reactionary type? Hardly. Sure this whole blog is reactionary in itself, but Ray’s post are usually pretty well thought out. Now I understand why some of you reacted to the lack of an over-the-top tirade by Ray because we do get a little fired up at times on this site, but in the end, we feel that we are here to inform, entertain and offer an alternative to the Fascist regime that is Not-a-blog. But let’s take at how the art can be mistaken for the artist:
Take Terry Goodkind here:
Sure you first reaction would be: flaming homosexual
Ahhh, but you would be wrong. The correct answer is:
Best selling fantasy writer who milked his story for all it’s worth at the expense of the patience of his fans for over 13 years.
Robert Jordan (rest in peace):
First reaction: flaming homosexual or accomplished blues guitarist or reptile hunter.
Correct answer: Best selling fantasy writer who milked his story for all it’s worth at the expense of the patience of his fans for over 15 years and then died before he could complete his work.
Neil Gaiman:
First reaction: flaming homosexual or lead singer for an ‘80s tribute band or a Bob Dillon wannabe. They all work.
Correct answer: Best selling fantasy writer who hasn’t written a quality book since Neverwhere in 1996 but continues to push out slop which is eagerly licked up by the brainwashed troglodytes which are his fans. Yeah, screw you Neil and your defense of Sir Cubbalot. You’re on our list pal.
And, of course, our good good friend and staunch supporter of our right to free speech:
First reaction: flaming homosexual or hard working sea captain who is up with the dawn to bring in that days early catch.
Correct Answer: Best selling fantasy writer who milked his story for all it’s worth at the expense of the patience of his fans for over 13 years. Basically abandoning the unfinished work which made him famous but still teases fans with updates and bullshit commentary. Will probably find his grave due to over eating before the series finds a publishers desk, but don't be surprised if he announces the need for an eighth book after he had to push current chapters into book six. Blatantly misusing the trust and adoration of his fan base to strip them for every last dime they have by offering them crappy autographed copies of crappy books and other sick paraphernalia.
Whew - I almost smashed my computer after typing that.
Anyway, so there you have it. All fantasy writers are flaming homosexuals, no wait, the art and the artist can often times be misconstrued as one in the same. So on behalf of Ray and myself, have a good weekend and keep swinging.
Side note: here is a link to recent Chicago Tribune article featuring Lord Beefarino.
featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2010/04/game-of-thrones-george-r-r-martin.html
Almost done with Dance my ass. Your recent blog posts indicate you were able to spend a little bit of your free time with the book. Don't do us any favors Rumpel Jiggleskin. Thanks for making it a priority, but after 5 years he probably gives less of a shit about than I do.
Click to viewOh Najludji, you always know just how we feel.
But back to our team and our recent posts. I like to look at this thing from a baseball perspective, in particular our main responsibility as a literary hitter. Patience. It’s not about swinging as hard as you can all the time at every pitch, no, it is about picking out the right pitch and hitting it hard or where the team needs you to hit it. There is just something great about being at the ball field, the smells, the sounds sure do make you appreciate the spring. It’s that special sound a wood bat makes as it cracks a baseball or a kneecap that makes you feel alive. I’ve always loved the classic ash or maple to get particular jobs done, but the kids today love the ping of aluminum. The light-weight and speed of today’s bats are impressive, but with these tools, we all seem to lose something. Most of all we lose our patience. We all want the homerun; no one likes to grind it out anymore. We are truly a microwave society. But there is something refreshing about taking your time, whether it is manufacturing a couple runs on the diamond or slow cooking some baby-backs, in the end something about all this is very satisfying. Tell me, would this scene be as much fun with aluminum?
Probably not. With aluminum this would have taken two swings at the most. Not very satisfying at all. I mean did you hear that crack? Whew, it gave me the shivers. And remember, baseball, like this blog, is all about enthusiasm and teamwork.
So let’s start with Ray and his little excursion. Now I imagine that most of you who read this blog are patient people. You would have to be to be a GRRM fan. Obviously that patience has been stretched as thin as the elastic on Rotunda’s sweatpants which has the word “Juicy” stamped on his ass, but you are all probably more patient than most. If any of you have kids, you are for sure patient. So I was a little discouraged in the some of the responses to Ray and his restraint from acting like a moron. First of all, Ray is not a triggerman. Ray is an operative, a strategist and that is why he has been regulated to middle management. He usually attacks a problem with his mind first and if that doesn’t work he calls in those with less…..patience, shall we say.
Now I respect the man for doing what he did and how he did it. Like the Biblical Daniel, Ray entered the lion’s den, albeit inhabited by a very slow and large lion, and returned unscathed with the one thing that makes Chubbles Chubbles….his name and his written word. (Lion’s den? What are you taking about Pesci? Go back to Sunday school heathen). Like I said, his written word supporting this blog no less (indirectly, but support nonetheless). If Ray had put on one of those operation pink hats and charged the booth to berate Captain Carrotcake, I would have first kicked him in the nuts and then sent him to the woodshed (that’s not just catchphrase, we actually have a woodshed were we get all “Fargo” on people who piss us off). For those of you unfamiliar with Fargo, rent it and bring a date.
Anyway, no offense if any operation pink fembots are reading this but the disrespect shown by its members to those giving political speeches or providing services is shameful and moronic. It’s like those PETA activists who will tromp over a guy lying in his own puke to throw fake blood on a Manhattanite wearing fake chinchilla. These activist types can all go fuck themselves and if Ray suddenly became one of these fools, he would have certainly lost my respect and, in the end, all credibility. Do these disruptive types really in the end get what they want? Of course not. They are all attention hounds who didn’t get enough hugs from Daddy when they where young. Now it is true that Ray was more of a Momma’s boy growing up but you get my point.
Perhaps this is all a classic case of mistaking the art with the artist. You guys have read Ray’s posts. Does he seem like the reactionary type? Hardly. Sure this whole blog is reactionary in itself, but Ray’s post are usually pretty well thought out. Now I understand why some of you reacted to the lack of an over-the-top tirade by Ray because we do get a little fired up at times on this site, but in the end, we feel that we are here to inform, entertain and offer an alternative to the Fascist regime that is Not-a-blog. But let’s take at how the art can be mistaken for the artist:
Take Terry Goodkind here:
Sure you first reaction would be: flaming homosexual
Ahhh, but you would be wrong. The correct answer is:
Best selling fantasy writer who milked his story for all it’s worth at the expense of the patience of his fans for over 13 years.
Robert Jordan (rest in peace):
First reaction: flaming homosexual or accomplished blues guitarist or reptile hunter.
Correct answer: Best selling fantasy writer who milked his story for all it’s worth at the expense of the patience of his fans for over 15 years and then died before he could complete his work.
Neil Gaiman:
First reaction: flaming homosexual or lead singer for an ‘80s tribute band or a Bob Dillon wannabe. They all work.
Correct answer: Best selling fantasy writer who hasn’t written a quality book since Neverwhere in 1996 but continues to push out slop which is eagerly licked up by the brainwashed troglodytes which are his fans. Yeah, screw you Neil and your defense of Sir Cubbalot. You’re on our list pal.
And, of course, our good good friend and staunch supporter of our right to free speech:
First reaction: flaming homosexual or hard working sea captain who is up with the dawn to bring in that days early catch.
Correct Answer: Best selling fantasy writer who milked his story for all it’s worth at the expense of the patience of his fans for over 13 years. Basically abandoning the unfinished work which made him famous but still teases fans with updates and bullshit commentary. Will probably find his grave due to over eating before the series finds a publishers desk, but don't be surprised if he announces the need for an eighth book after he had to push current chapters into book six. Blatantly misusing the trust and adoration of his fan base to strip them for every last dime they have by offering them crappy autographed copies of crappy books and other sick paraphernalia.
Whew - I almost smashed my computer after typing that.
Anyway, so there you have it. All fantasy writers are flaming homosexuals, no wait, the art and the artist can often times be misconstrued as one in the same. So on behalf of Ray and myself, have a good weekend and keep swinging.
Side note: here is a link to recent Chicago Tribune article featuring Lord Beefarino.
featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2010/04/game-of-thrones-george-r-r-martin.html
Almost done with Dance my ass. Your recent blog posts indicate you were able to spend a little bit of your free time with the book. Don't do us any favors Rumpel Jiggleskin. Thanks for making it a priority, but after 5 years he probably gives less of a shit about than I do.