i feel i have been a burden for a long time... and used and pushed the people i care about and the community i am a part of to the limit in unhealthy ways. i am burning bridges and upsetting the folk i mean to bring closer to me and be a greater part of and contribute to. i thought beyond my limits and did not examine the area and the people around ( Read more... )

so its official. i am moving to the new squat in september to start work. this is going to be amazing... we will have a 4 story brownstone with a big backyard lots of space and people to create a beautiful living situation. there will be a garden, and a small greenhouse and 2 kitchens one of which will be a vegan commercial type kitchen for us to ( Read more... )

i was freeing bikes yesterday and now have a tiny annoying cut on my wrist. i am covered in bike grease, i have the dirt of the city and have felt largely un motivated today. starting tommorow i am getting back on track. i am going to work out and eat lots of veggies and cook lots of vegan deliciousness and strip bikes. and clean and sell the ross ( Read more... )

so work has been exhausting it has actually been 11 to 12 hour shifts not 10 and half... i dont really get a break unless i have to go to the bathroom. it is super intense not only am i in charge of washing dishes and general sanitation. but also the oysters. i work at an oyster bar... thats a shit ton of shucking. i am not very good at it. and i ( Read more... )

oh man today was my first day as dishwasher... apparently my job is also to shuck clams and oysters. i had no idea.... but i am going to start learning food prep as well. i find that awesome and stressful. i mean we got slammed today and everything was fine but i didn't stop moving... this is really intense, i like it though, i feel really good and ( Read more... )

ahhh it was hot today, and is right now christ i am melting. anyway... i got a job wooo! cash under the table dishwasher. hey its a job i don't care. i have done a million crap jobs and this one is good cold hard cash. i figure work till i have surgery like crazy, save up monies. have surgery, take the month off... then go a galavanting while ( Read more... )

today was awsome! actually the last 3 days, n fact i thnk the past week... last weekend did the transaction party played with hot new queer, slept with my sweetie, next night boy from North Carolina met up wth me and spent the night. Then new queer from DC hung out after pride and we played for 3 hours then stayed up singing on the roof while ( Read more... )

so life is good, i havent "worked" for like four months. i have been doing odd jobs, dumpstering and fixin up bikes to pay bills. it is kinda amazing. i have been looking for work though, like consistent real job at some sort of store or office or anything.i have not gotten a call back on any, no interviews nothing. it is frustrating, but i am ok. ( Read more... )

so this is day for of unable to sleep because of sciatic pain and numbness. the vegan rican tasting is yoday which is very exciting, i can't wait to cook and then eat. i think everyone will love our food. i want certain someone to be my lover again. i want to cuddle feel them close to me. it has like 3 months since we broke up? arent i suposed to ( Read more... )

its the same shit and another year. i am blessed to have the people in my life that i do. i love each and everyone of my chosen family. i am marking 15 yrs of smoking, and i think i may actually qit this year. at least i will try again. i got denied the loan for surgery, no answer about sears and unemployment, and i went to a job interview after ( Read more... )