Take It Like A Man
Pairing: What else?
Genre: Romance/Humour
Rating: T
Word Count: 2800
Emmet: What is this place?
Elle: It’s called... a department store...
He was doomed.
As he glanced around the mall he knew it for sure. He was all out, hands down, doomed. Women bustled all around him, babies in strollers shrieked, business people on their lunch breaks garbled into their cells in a language he would swear wasn’t English if he didn’t know better. It seemed everyone had a purpose, a goal, a reason to be shopping so valiantly in the crazy mall instead of staying at home. Of course, it was fourth period, so he probably ought to be in history class but seriously, who needed to learn history? It was just that... history and completely irrelevant to everything Puck stood for.
And besides he never attended fourth period, (or sixth or second for those who were counting) so he didn’t want to do the teacher a disservice by showing up. That’d just be unfair to surprise the poor bastard. So instead, he was following out a mission. If only he knew where to start.
After winning Regionals, they had garnered a lot of local press and Mr Schuester was mildly horrified when the men of his team showed up for their first interview in ratty t-shirt from Old Navy and jeans with holes in the knees. Instantly he had dragged them to the guidance counsellor’s office and the chick with the crazy eyes had advised them all one thing: buy some real clothes.
He hadn’t been aware that what he’d been wearing weren’t “real” clothing. The cougars had never had an issue with it so why should he change it? But according to Mr Schue, image was everything and if they wanted to win Nationals then they needed to clean up their act for the public.
For the most part, it hadn’t been too bad for the rest of the guys. Finn was sickeningly wholesome already so it only took a pair of shiny shoes and his dead dad’s jacket before Mr Schue decided he was presentable. Mike and Matt got taken by their mom’s to shop and returned beaten into submission, looking decidedly uncomfortable in button downs and ties. That just left Puck...
First he’d tried looking with the guys, but that attempt had been fruitless. Then, desperation rising, his turned to his mother, who offered him a vague, glassy nod (created only by a good dose of Valium) and didn’t remember it in the morning. So he was now on his own...
Trouble was, he wasn’t into this girly shit. He went to the mall to loiter and for the occasional recreational shoplifting spree. He made a public menace of himself, he didn’t make a revenue for the stores. Now that he needed clothes he really wished he knew where to start. In his meagre attempt he looked at the store directory but soon gave up and went back to the food court. Screw this... He needed help.
He waited until Glee practice the next day, and as he walked in Mr Schue frowned disapprovingly.
‘Puck,’ he began, ‘Didn’t we talk about...’
‘I’m working on it Mr Schue,’
‘Good to hear Puck!’
Mr Schue wasted no time getting to work with his club and as he began talking, Puck took an opportunity to look around the room.
First, his eyes landed on Quinn, the most obvious choice for help. She was a chick, one in particular he had hung out with in the past and would find him clothes without treating to him like too much of a moron. But...
She seemed to sense his gaze and lifted her bright eyes - locking gazes with him. Instantly her face hardened and her lips curled up into a sneer. Perhaps she wasn’t the right woman for the job...
Next he glanced at Santana who was draped over Brittany, laughing. Okay, so the chick was insane and demanding, but she was hot. And she looked like the kind of girl who would know her way around the mall. She looked up and him and one eye dropped down in a sultry wink. Who was he kidding? They’d never make it out of his truck!
He pondered briefly over Brittany (Nah, she’d probably put him in a dress...), Tina (Who knew what kind of weird goth clothes she’d find?) and Mercedes (HELL NO!). But unfortunately that only left him with one more option and she was about as much of a ”HELL NO!” as Mercedes before her. Rachel sat across the room, preening and smiling (or was it grimacing?) at Mr Schue. Her legs were crossed primly, her impossibly short skirt riding up her thighs, her hair falling down in loose waves. Now that girl was crazy. There was no way he could take her to buy clothes.
‘If I may Mr Schuester...’ Rachel began.
‘Oh, shut up!’ Mercedes groaned.
Rachel frowned, evidently hurt and she ducked her head, a piece of her shielding her face. That was one advantage of Rachel Berry: even if she told someone, nobody would listen.
After Glee he had officially decided. It was going to be Batshit Berry. He knew that she would be the last to leave Glee so for once, he hung around once Mr Schue dismissed them. He stood outside the room, listening to Rachel make inane conversation to Mr Schuester as he packed his briefcase.
‘Thankyou Mr Schuester,’ Rachel said finally, ‘I really feel like we may have a good chance as State.’
‘Me too Rachel. Have a good evening.’
‘Goodnight Mr Schue!’
Puck heard her footsteps approaching and he turned, ready to corner her.
‘Sup Berry?’ he asked as soon as she walked out of the room.
Rachel’s eyebrows disappeared up around her hairline and she clutched her books closer to her chest, walking down the corridor away from him, ‘Noah! what a surprise to see you here at this late hour. I naturally assumed that you would have already gone home to commence your homework,’
Puck snorted, chasing to keep up with her, ‘I don’t do homework.’
Rachel frowned disapprovingly, ‘I don’t believe that’s wise considering that...’
Puck whirled himself around in front of her, so she was forced to stop dead in her tracks. She frowned again, pursing her lips.
‘Noah, I have to...’
‘Say, Berry, do you feel like giving me a helping hand with something?’
Rachel eyed him suspiciously, ‘Noah, I know that you find my shy, artistic beauty attractive but I am simply offended that you would suggest that I would be so willing to proffer sexual favours...’
‘Woah!’ he held up his hands, his eyes wide, ‘No! I uh... I wasn’t talking about sex Berry. Chill...’
Rachel’s face wrinkled, ‘You weren’t talking about sex? I don’t understand...’
‘Look, I need some help. It’ll... it’ll benefit Glee.’
Her face lit up, ‘Of course, I would be willing to do anything that would be for the benefit of our club! What can I do?’
Puck wasn’t sure whether or not to be concerned at how far she was willing to go to advance her club. Talk about devotion...
‘So uh, would you like to hang out with me at the mall on Friday night? I need a girl’s advice...’
‘It would be an honour Noah!’ she beamed, ‘You’ll pick me up at seven?’
He nodded, suddenly apprehensive. Maybe this hadn’t been his best idea...
Friday rolled around faster than he’d could prepare for and before he knew it, he was driving toward the mall with a babbling Berry riding shotgun. As it turned out, and he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was a fiddler. As she talked she twisted the dials on the heater, toyed with the volume dial and changed his radio station. Her chatter was a constant stream of consciousness - an insight into the speech club’s sordid affairs and the dramatic workings of the cafeteria conspiracy. After a while Puck didn’t even try to understand her. The words were too long, her thoughts too fast. And she didn’t really seem to be asking for reciprocation, so he was content to just stare at the road ahead.
He was thankful when they pulled up at the mall and he ushered her into the building.
‘So, Noah, what are we looking for?’ she asked finally.
‘Uh, well, I just need some, you know... uh... clothes for Glee.’ Puck shrugged gruffly.
‘What kind of clothes?’
‘Just some...like nice clothes or some shit...’
Understanding dawned on Rachel’s face and she beamed, ‘Okay! I know just the store. Follow me Noah!’
Left helpless, Puck trailed after Rachel who was marching away from him purposefully. What had he been thinking?
A few minutes later he was standing in the middle of a department store. Women strutted past, leaving vapour trails of Chanel No. 5 that made his nostrils twitch and men laden heavily with cologne in tight Italian suits smiled winningly at everyone that past them.
‘Berry, you’ve gotta be out of your mind...’
Rachel turned and fixed with him with a piercing look, ‘Do you want my help or not? I know what I’m doing...’
‘Yeah, sending me straight to hell...’
Rachel ignored him, continuing her tirade, ‘So I’m going to do just that. Now, stop complaining.’
He rolled his eyes, using up all his willpower not to make a snide remark. Berry put her hands on her hips, looking him up and down.
‘What size are you?’
‘Huh?’
Rachel grimaced, shaking her head like she was dealing with a child, ‘What size are you?’ she repeated.
‘I’m not a retard Berry, I knew what you said. I dunno...’
‘You don’t know?’
‘No,’ he replied obnoxiously, ‘Why would I know that kind of crap?’
Rachel’s eyes widened and her lips formed an O. She was finally realizing what a behemoth task she had undertaken.
‘Well... in that case, I will just have to surmise your size according to your build,’ she announced lightly.
Puck didn’t even know what that meant, so instead he chose not to reply, sticking his hands in his pockets awkwardly. Rachel eyed him, with another tiny shake of the head before she turned her nose up in the air and trotted away without glancing back to see if he was following. He sighed, shaking his head before reluctantly following.
He ended up following her to the men’s department and trailed after her like a lost puppy. She marched between racks, rifling through everything looks for certain sizes. He became a glorified personal shopper, a shopping cart at best, as she pulled fistfuls of candy coloured clothes of the racks and pushed them into his arms.
‘Try this!’ she demanded, ‘Oh, that will look nice. I simply insist that you try that on...’
Puck was beginning to feel uneasy, particularly as she pulled a lavender cashmere sweater off a table.
‘Look, Berry, no offense, but I’m not trying to look like a homo here. Mr Schue said I had to dress nice, not fruity okay?’
Rachel frowned, biting her lip, deep in thought.
‘Maybe we’re approaching this the wrong way,’ she decided, ‘Okay... let’s try something different...’
She marched off again, into a completely different section and Puck found relief as she handed him grey sweaters and blue button downs. At least he recognized these colours.
Finally, she seemed to cease. She just stopped in all her movements and turned to face him with a wide, toothy smile.
‘Go try them on Noah!’ she urged.
This time, it was his turn to lead and she followed him all the way to the dressing rooms. With an armful of clothes he ambled into the room. He suddenly stopped as he felt Rachel’s presence behind him.
‘Uh... Berry...’
She frowned indignantly, ‘What Noah?’
‘This is a dude’s dressing room...’
‘I’m not going to following into the cubicle Noah,’ Rachel sighed, rolling her eyes, ‘But I want to see what the clothes look like.’
He grumbled, ambling into a vacant cubicle submissively. He glanced out of the cubicle before he shut the door to find Berry perched on a cushy couch, waiting expectantly.
Self consciously, he changed and pulled the door open to show her.
‘So uh...’
Berry’s face lit up and she clapped her hands together, ‘Noah! That looks amazing!’
He plucked at the thick material of the button down, shoving his hands into the pockets of the surprisingly comfortable expensive jeans.
‘You think?’
‘Yes!’ she gushed, ‘It fits you perfectly! Try another on!’
He changed again, slipping a cashmere sweater over his head before displaying the new outfit to her. He met her with a frown.
‘Berry,’ he began, his voice dropping to a whisper, ‘I can’t afford this shit! It’s 95 dollars for this sweater! You’ve got to be kidding me!’
Rachel shook her head, shushing him, ‘Don’t be silly. It’s worth it. It’s beautiful.’
And so the parade began. Every time he would change and Rachel would either gasp with delight or grimace and shake her head. Soon, the pile of clothes to buy was growing, the reject pile dwindling miserably. Every time he closed his cubicle door, he met her eyes dark and soft, full of gentle emotion and his stomach twisted uncomfortably. She was giving him butterflies? Seriously?
Finally, half an hour later, they left the change rooms, Berry grinning from ear to ear.
‘I told you Noah. I know what I’m doing...’
‘But Berry, I can’t afford this crap...’ he began weakly.
Rachel just shook her head again, smiling widely. She marched up to the counter, pulling the clothes from his arms. With vague horror, Puck watched as she pulled out a shiny silver credit card and he let out a strangled noise as the total rang up and she swiped her card.
‘Berry...’ he mumbled, his voice coming out somewhat like a honk, ‘I can’t take this...’
‘Nonsense Noah,’ Rachel replied flippantly, never removing her eyes from the cashier, ‘Now shush.’
A few moments later, the transaction had been accepted and Rachel handed the bags to him, ‘There you go Noah.’
‘Uh...I don’t know what to say...’
‘Thankyou works,’ she shrugged nonchalantly.
‘I mean, god, of course Berry. Thankyou. But really... I can’t accept it...’
‘Don’t be silly Noah,’ Rachel announced, ‘My father’s will be thrilled that I have contributed to the bettering of another member of the inferior male demographic in Lima. My improvement of the population will lead to economic and social boosts with the increase of superior genealogy and mating and also the increase of tourism.’
Puck didn’t understand how a bunch of clothes could do that but he was grateful nonetheless.
‘But seriously Berry. Thankyou.’
‘It’s okay...’
‘How can I... How do I like, make that up to you?’
She looked up at him, her eyes wide and sparkly, ‘You could buy me a coffee...’
Puck didn’t know why he was offering more time with Berry, but he simply nodded, ‘How about dinner?’
They sat together in the food court, chatting over hot soup and fresh bread and he realized that he didn’t hate her company. Sitting with her, listening to her talk, he realized she was actually kind of beautiful and a genuinely nice person who didn’t mean any harm. He realized all these years, all the Slushies and the teasing had been directed to the wrong sort of person because this girl before him certainly didn’t deserve it.
They would drive home together after dinner and for once she’d keep her hands to herself. For the first time in his whole life, he would offer to walk her to her door, because for once he wanted just a few more minutes. Their hands would brush intimately as they stood awkwardly at her stoop and he stammered one more thank you and he would think about her all the way home.
On Monday, he would walk into school wearing one of the shirts she had bought him, a shirt Mr Schue would congratulate him over. He would meet her eye as she closed her locker and the butterflies would return. And then maybe, just maybe, he’d consider the idea of asking her to go shopping with him again...
Here’s your chance to make it, so take it like a man...
Based on the song Take It Like A Man from Legally Blonde the Musical. I could so see Puck lost in the middle of a department store!
Genre: Romance/Humour
Rating: T
Word Count: 2800
Emmet: What is this place?
Elle: It’s called... a department store...
He was doomed.
As he glanced around the mall he knew it for sure. He was all out, hands down, doomed. Women bustled all around him, babies in strollers shrieked, business people on their lunch breaks garbled into their cells in a language he would swear wasn’t English if he didn’t know better. It seemed everyone had a purpose, a goal, a reason to be shopping so valiantly in the crazy mall instead of staying at home. Of course, it was fourth period, so he probably ought to be in history class but seriously, who needed to learn history? It was just that... history and completely irrelevant to everything Puck stood for.
And besides he never attended fourth period, (or sixth or second for those who were counting) so he didn’t want to do the teacher a disservice by showing up. That’d just be unfair to surprise the poor bastard. So instead, he was following out a mission. If only he knew where to start.
After winning Regionals, they had garnered a lot of local press and Mr Schuester was mildly horrified when the men of his team showed up for their first interview in ratty t-shirt from Old Navy and jeans with holes in the knees. Instantly he had dragged them to the guidance counsellor’s office and the chick with the crazy eyes had advised them all one thing: buy some real clothes.
He hadn’t been aware that what he’d been wearing weren’t “real” clothing. The cougars had never had an issue with it so why should he change it? But according to Mr Schue, image was everything and if they wanted to win Nationals then they needed to clean up their act for the public.
For the most part, it hadn’t been too bad for the rest of the guys. Finn was sickeningly wholesome already so it only took a pair of shiny shoes and his dead dad’s jacket before Mr Schue decided he was presentable. Mike and Matt got taken by their mom’s to shop and returned beaten into submission, looking decidedly uncomfortable in button downs and ties. That just left Puck...
First he’d tried looking with the guys, but that attempt had been fruitless. Then, desperation rising, his turned to his mother, who offered him a vague, glassy nod (created only by a good dose of Valium) and didn’t remember it in the morning. So he was now on his own...
Trouble was, he wasn’t into this girly shit. He went to the mall to loiter and for the occasional recreational shoplifting spree. He made a public menace of himself, he didn’t make a revenue for the stores. Now that he needed clothes he really wished he knew where to start. In his meagre attempt he looked at the store directory but soon gave up and went back to the food court. Screw this... He needed help.
He waited until Glee practice the next day, and as he walked in Mr Schue frowned disapprovingly.
‘Puck,’ he began, ‘Didn’t we talk about...’
‘I’m working on it Mr Schue,’
‘Good to hear Puck!’
Mr Schue wasted no time getting to work with his club and as he began talking, Puck took an opportunity to look around the room.
First, his eyes landed on Quinn, the most obvious choice for help. She was a chick, one in particular he had hung out with in the past and would find him clothes without treating to him like too much of a moron. But...
She seemed to sense his gaze and lifted her bright eyes - locking gazes with him. Instantly her face hardened and her lips curled up into a sneer. Perhaps she wasn’t the right woman for the job...
Next he glanced at Santana who was draped over Brittany, laughing. Okay, so the chick was insane and demanding, but she was hot. And she looked like the kind of girl who would know her way around the mall. She looked up and him and one eye dropped down in a sultry wink. Who was he kidding? They’d never make it out of his truck!
He pondered briefly over Brittany (Nah, she’d probably put him in a dress...), Tina (Who knew what kind of weird goth clothes she’d find?) and Mercedes (HELL NO!). But unfortunately that only left him with one more option and she was about as much of a ”HELL NO!” as Mercedes before her. Rachel sat across the room, preening and smiling (or was it grimacing?) at Mr Schue. Her legs were crossed primly, her impossibly short skirt riding up her thighs, her hair falling down in loose waves. Now that girl was crazy. There was no way he could take her to buy clothes.
‘If I may Mr Schuester...’ Rachel began.
‘Oh, shut up!’ Mercedes groaned.
Rachel frowned, evidently hurt and she ducked her head, a piece of her shielding her face. That was one advantage of Rachel Berry: even if she told someone, nobody would listen.
After Glee he had officially decided. It was going to be Batshit Berry. He knew that she would be the last to leave Glee so for once, he hung around once Mr Schue dismissed them. He stood outside the room, listening to Rachel make inane conversation to Mr Schuester as he packed his briefcase.
‘Thankyou Mr Schuester,’ Rachel said finally, ‘I really feel like we may have a good chance as State.’
‘Me too Rachel. Have a good evening.’
‘Goodnight Mr Schue!’
Puck heard her footsteps approaching and he turned, ready to corner her.
‘Sup Berry?’ he asked as soon as she walked out of the room.
Rachel’s eyebrows disappeared up around her hairline and she clutched her books closer to her chest, walking down the corridor away from him, ‘Noah! what a surprise to see you here at this late hour. I naturally assumed that you would have already gone home to commence your homework,’
Puck snorted, chasing to keep up with her, ‘I don’t do homework.’
Rachel frowned disapprovingly, ‘I don’t believe that’s wise considering that...’
Puck whirled himself around in front of her, so she was forced to stop dead in her tracks. She frowned again, pursing her lips.
‘Noah, I have to...’
‘Say, Berry, do you feel like giving me a helping hand with something?’
Rachel eyed him suspiciously, ‘Noah, I know that you find my shy, artistic beauty attractive but I am simply offended that you would suggest that I would be so willing to proffer sexual favours...’
‘Woah!’ he held up his hands, his eyes wide, ‘No! I uh... I wasn’t talking about sex Berry. Chill...’
Rachel’s face wrinkled, ‘You weren’t talking about sex? I don’t understand...’
‘Look, I need some help. It’ll... it’ll benefit Glee.’
Her face lit up, ‘Of course, I would be willing to do anything that would be for the benefit of our club! What can I do?’
Puck wasn’t sure whether or not to be concerned at how far she was willing to go to advance her club. Talk about devotion...
‘So uh, would you like to hang out with me at the mall on Friday night? I need a girl’s advice...’
‘It would be an honour Noah!’ she beamed, ‘You’ll pick me up at seven?’
He nodded, suddenly apprehensive. Maybe this hadn’t been his best idea...
Friday rolled around faster than he’d could prepare for and before he knew it, he was driving toward the mall with a babbling Berry riding shotgun. As it turned out, and he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was a fiddler. As she talked she twisted the dials on the heater, toyed with the volume dial and changed his radio station. Her chatter was a constant stream of consciousness - an insight into the speech club’s sordid affairs and the dramatic workings of the cafeteria conspiracy. After a while Puck didn’t even try to understand her. The words were too long, her thoughts too fast. And she didn’t really seem to be asking for reciprocation, so he was content to just stare at the road ahead.
He was thankful when they pulled up at the mall and he ushered her into the building.
‘So, Noah, what are we looking for?’ she asked finally.
‘Uh, well, I just need some, you know... uh... clothes for Glee.’ Puck shrugged gruffly.
‘What kind of clothes?’
‘Just some...like nice clothes or some shit...’
Understanding dawned on Rachel’s face and she beamed, ‘Okay! I know just the store. Follow me Noah!’
Left helpless, Puck trailed after Rachel who was marching away from him purposefully. What had he been thinking?
A few minutes later he was standing in the middle of a department store. Women strutted past, leaving vapour trails of Chanel No. 5 that made his nostrils twitch and men laden heavily with cologne in tight Italian suits smiled winningly at everyone that past them.
‘Berry, you’ve gotta be out of your mind...’
Rachel turned and fixed with him with a piercing look, ‘Do you want my help or not? I know what I’m doing...’
‘Yeah, sending me straight to hell...’
Rachel ignored him, continuing her tirade, ‘So I’m going to do just that. Now, stop complaining.’
He rolled his eyes, using up all his willpower not to make a snide remark. Berry put her hands on her hips, looking him up and down.
‘What size are you?’
‘Huh?’
Rachel grimaced, shaking her head like she was dealing with a child, ‘What size are you?’ she repeated.
‘I’m not a retard Berry, I knew what you said. I dunno...’
‘You don’t know?’
‘No,’ he replied obnoxiously, ‘Why would I know that kind of crap?’
Rachel’s eyes widened and her lips formed an O. She was finally realizing what a behemoth task she had undertaken.
‘Well... in that case, I will just have to surmise your size according to your build,’ she announced lightly.
Puck didn’t even know what that meant, so instead he chose not to reply, sticking his hands in his pockets awkwardly. Rachel eyed him, with another tiny shake of the head before she turned her nose up in the air and trotted away without glancing back to see if he was following. He sighed, shaking his head before reluctantly following.
He ended up following her to the men’s department and trailed after her like a lost puppy. She marched between racks, rifling through everything looks for certain sizes. He became a glorified personal shopper, a shopping cart at best, as she pulled fistfuls of candy coloured clothes of the racks and pushed them into his arms.
‘Try this!’ she demanded, ‘Oh, that will look nice. I simply insist that you try that on...’
Puck was beginning to feel uneasy, particularly as she pulled a lavender cashmere sweater off a table.
‘Look, Berry, no offense, but I’m not trying to look like a homo here. Mr Schue said I had to dress nice, not fruity okay?’
Rachel frowned, biting her lip, deep in thought.
‘Maybe we’re approaching this the wrong way,’ she decided, ‘Okay... let’s try something different...’
She marched off again, into a completely different section and Puck found relief as she handed him grey sweaters and blue button downs. At least he recognized these colours.
Finally, she seemed to cease. She just stopped in all her movements and turned to face him with a wide, toothy smile.
‘Go try them on Noah!’ she urged.
This time, it was his turn to lead and she followed him all the way to the dressing rooms. With an armful of clothes he ambled into the room. He suddenly stopped as he felt Rachel’s presence behind him.
‘Uh... Berry...’
She frowned indignantly, ‘What Noah?’
‘This is a dude’s dressing room...’
‘I’m not going to following into the cubicle Noah,’ Rachel sighed, rolling her eyes, ‘But I want to see what the clothes look like.’
He grumbled, ambling into a vacant cubicle submissively. He glanced out of the cubicle before he shut the door to find Berry perched on a cushy couch, waiting expectantly.
Self consciously, he changed and pulled the door open to show her.
‘So uh...’
Berry’s face lit up and she clapped her hands together, ‘Noah! That looks amazing!’
He plucked at the thick material of the button down, shoving his hands into the pockets of the surprisingly comfortable expensive jeans.
‘You think?’
‘Yes!’ she gushed, ‘It fits you perfectly! Try another on!’
He changed again, slipping a cashmere sweater over his head before displaying the new outfit to her. He met her with a frown.
‘Berry,’ he began, his voice dropping to a whisper, ‘I can’t afford this shit! It’s 95 dollars for this sweater! You’ve got to be kidding me!’
Rachel shook her head, shushing him, ‘Don’t be silly. It’s worth it. It’s beautiful.’
And so the parade began. Every time he would change and Rachel would either gasp with delight or grimace and shake her head. Soon, the pile of clothes to buy was growing, the reject pile dwindling miserably. Every time he closed his cubicle door, he met her eyes dark and soft, full of gentle emotion and his stomach twisted uncomfortably. She was giving him butterflies? Seriously?
Finally, half an hour later, they left the change rooms, Berry grinning from ear to ear.
‘I told you Noah. I know what I’m doing...’
‘But Berry, I can’t afford this crap...’ he began weakly.
Rachel just shook her head again, smiling widely. She marched up to the counter, pulling the clothes from his arms. With vague horror, Puck watched as she pulled out a shiny silver credit card and he let out a strangled noise as the total rang up and she swiped her card.
‘Berry...’ he mumbled, his voice coming out somewhat like a honk, ‘I can’t take this...’
‘Nonsense Noah,’ Rachel replied flippantly, never removing her eyes from the cashier, ‘Now shush.’
A few moments later, the transaction had been accepted and Rachel handed the bags to him, ‘There you go Noah.’
‘Uh...I don’t know what to say...’
‘Thankyou works,’ she shrugged nonchalantly.
‘I mean, god, of course Berry. Thankyou. But really... I can’t accept it...’
‘Don’t be silly Noah,’ Rachel announced, ‘My father’s will be thrilled that I have contributed to the bettering of another member of the inferior male demographic in Lima. My improvement of the population will lead to economic and social boosts with the increase of superior genealogy and mating and also the increase of tourism.’
Puck didn’t understand how a bunch of clothes could do that but he was grateful nonetheless.
‘But seriously Berry. Thankyou.’
‘It’s okay...’
‘How can I... How do I like, make that up to you?’
She looked up at him, her eyes wide and sparkly, ‘You could buy me a coffee...’
Puck didn’t know why he was offering more time with Berry, but he simply nodded, ‘How about dinner?’
They sat together in the food court, chatting over hot soup and fresh bread and he realized that he didn’t hate her company. Sitting with her, listening to her talk, he realized she was actually kind of beautiful and a genuinely nice person who didn’t mean any harm. He realized all these years, all the Slushies and the teasing had been directed to the wrong sort of person because this girl before him certainly didn’t deserve it.
They would drive home together after dinner and for once she’d keep her hands to herself. For the first time in his whole life, he would offer to walk her to her door, because for once he wanted just a few more minutes. Their hands would brush intimately as they stood awkwardly at her stoop and he stammered one more thank you and he would think about her all the way home.
On Monday, he would walk into school wearing one of the shirts she had bought him, a shirt Mr Schue would congratulate him over. He would meet her eye as she closed her locker and the butterflies would return. And then maybe, just maybe, he’d consider the idea of asking her to go shopping with him again...
Here’s your chance to make it, so take it like a man...
Based on the song Take It Like A Man from Legally Blonde the Musical. I could so see Puck lost in the middle of a department store!