Tasks

[grenwood]

Well, it's time to try to break down some of those goals into manageable tasks. Some of them are a bit more difficult to do this for, but I'm going to at least give it an attempt that can be smoothed over in a second pass. A lot of these are going to get more details put into them soon, but I wanted to be productive enough to get the ball rolling

Comments

[polaris134]

Sounds like a pretty thorough list! A couple of suggestions:

--Instead of going for "more than 170 lbs," maybe you can shoot for a target weight? Perhaps a BMI chart would be helpful for this.

--While being in a healthy relationship is a good long-term goal to have, I think you might benefit from working towards social and emotional goals that should probably come first, and that don't seem to be included on your list. I can see that, socially, you want to be happier, more spontaneous and more charismatic (how are you defining charisma in this respect?), and less fearful of social awkwardness. Are there other things you can do to strengthen your current relationships? This will, understandably, require a lot of honest self-evaluation, but will be very helpful in the long run.

Allusions

[grenwood]

Technically, 170 lbs. is my target weight, and I've already checked that as a healthy weight for somebody my size

Re: Allusions

[polaris134]

I guess I normally don't think to apply the word "charisma" to relationships with my friends, but that might just be me and my particular use of my mental vocabulary. I guess, because most of my friends are geeks and nerds (and I mean that, of course, in the most affectionate sense of the words), I don't normally apply "charismatic" to them. And at the same time, I have known people who were charismatic who were, underneath it all, nasty people. So charisma, in my mind, is something separate from the things I look for in a good friend, which are generally things like compassion, intelligence, understanding, humor--all things that one can have without necessarily being charismatic. They are not mutually exclusive terms; I have had great friends whom I found charismatic. But I guess I just found the use of the term unexpected because I'm not used to thinking in terms of that. I hope that makes sense

Got Em!

[grenwood]

Well, I was applying charisma to social behavior in general, which I don't think is mutually exclusive from any of the things you mentioned. In certain ways, I have listed intelligence in my CNN task, humor and understanding have found their way into the DBT task, and compassion is taken up by working volunteer in the community.

I suppose trying not to hold grudges could be worked on, but that's not something that is easy to practice and I'm not sure how to apply a task to that. It wasn't very high on my priority list since it's never truly caused me any harm or distress. It has ended relationships, but it has ended relationships that I no longer wished to pursue. I'll think about what I can do for this, but once again I'm open to suggestions.

The divide between emotions versus cognition is part of behavioral response and comes up in times of crisis. DBT skills are meant to change this response when practiced, and are outlined in that task.