Everyone feels so far away from me Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me

[greendayfan]

This is one time I'm not going to hold things back, or sit behind my screened LJ. I made this journal for a reason, and tonight I have the need to vent and say what I need to say, without worrying about what people will think or say

Comments

[greendayluvr89]

i know exactly where your coming from. for the last couple of youth groups i haven't felt happy to be there, there seems to always be something that makes me angry or frustrated. and sometimes when i do get home i do curl up in a ball on my bed and cry. and i feel like no one would even care or notice what has happened. i almost didn't go this time but i really needed to talk to bri. and i felt like i couldn't talk to anyone else there that the would just talk to their other friends. i'm sorry i didn't really talk to u or see you after u did the slides. i hope u stay ur the only one besides bri that i trust and really enjoy talking to.

[greendayfan]

I'm probably going to keep coming... even if I don't always enjoy it

[lp10587]

Okay, since you didn't hold anything back, can I tell you what I think from my heart

[migdestroyer]

I must say, I agree with Jared on this one. We all grow in different ways. And we ALL love you.

[greendayfan]

Thanks Eric

[greendayfan]

I've noticed that more and more lately. I just hope people realize what opportunities they are missing when they don't py attention.
I know I need to come to church, but I've explained to you before why it is so hard. 1: my mom is still trying to sort out our money issues, and I won't have any extra money until after I get a job. 2: I have almost never enjoyed church, not after the Mormon church... I can't really explain it. So all in all, it's extremely difficult for me to make it every sunday. I know you said you were going to pick me up and stuff, but you have so many other priorities with serving and stuff, plus gas, I know it's hard for you too. I am going to stick it out, I just don't know how long it will take til I can't take the frustration and dissapointment and immaturity.

Oh

[cowgirlup5]

Roxanne

Re: Oh

[greendayfan]

See that's exactly what I mean! When I first came to youth group, it was never about the invidual, it was always about making friends, having fun, and learning. Things have changed so much, and it really makes me sad. Since I haven't been as involved as I used to, I'm noticing more and more how people do get wrapped up in themselves and make it about them. I've noticed that a large group of people don't play games and don't even pay attention to the message, and bring other people who want to learn, into that downward spiral (I'm talking about a few people in particular here, not you or any of our good friends, don't worry). I know it was never anyones intention, but stuff does happen... It's ok. I'll be fine and I'll get over it, I always do.

[slugbug1]

I'm sorry you felt that way about youth last night and i'm sorry i didnt pay as much attention to you. I tend to go next to the people i'm most comfortable with and i've been working hard on trying to get out of that. i apologize for anything that i might have done to make you feel like you didnt belong or anything. After ryans talk tiffany needed to talk about stuff and i couldnt really get away to talk to other people. And i know thats exactly what your talking about with people in their own groups, but some people can't go to dairy queen afterwards to talk about stuff either. If you start to feel left out at youth give us a big kick or something. I know exactly what you mean though things in youth do need to change, but last year if you think about it we did kind of have our own little group as well we just didnt notice it as much because our group was the only one that came to dairyqueen and we were kind of in our own little world. not syaing that we didnt here and there talk to people outside our group or hang out with them, but

[supermanme]

I'm gonna call you when I can, k? *hug*