Make You Mine /// Seventeenth Lie: Cutting Ties
Title: Make You Mine
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 and up.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: The first impression counts and Kazuya's first impression of Jin is not the best. However, Jin is determined to get to know Kazuya - and Kazuya makes up a few lies, which suddenly become huge... And then, the tide is turning.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I lived in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
Well, well... I started answering comments to the last chap and I will ctach up tomorrow :) It took a bit longer to update this time, as I had to made up my mind about the story. I was debatting with myself wheter this should be the last chap already. Expect another at least 3 now XD
With my loveliest wishes to xxxasukixx Happy Birthday, my dear ♥ I am sorry I haven't got anything better than this (yet), but this is for you, as you're so good in being my Natsuki, whenever we go grocery shopping XD
Love you lots ♥
Okay, so, on to the cheesy angst.
Enjoy it! ♥
Previous Chapters:
First Lie: Who am I?
Second Lie: Find Me
Third Lie: Exposed
Fourth Lie: On Repeat
Fifth Lie: More of You
Sixth Lie: Not My Fault
Seventh Lie: Out of Reach
Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Ninth Lie: Hold On
Tenth Lie: Secret
Eleventh Lie: Broken Lovers
Twelfth Lie: Worry About You
Thirteenth Lie: I Won't
Fourteenth Lie: Only My Illursion
Fifteenth Lie: Heavy Damage
Sixteenth Lie: Too Close
Seventeenth Lie: Cutting Ties
It was rather dark and Jin couldn't really see clearly anymore.
The bar had already closed down and he was the last guest; although, he wasn't actually a guest.
Yamashita and Ryo sat next to him, the only three stools that hadn't been put to the counter yet. Only a small light behind the bar was still on and there was no sound apart from the ice cubes moving, as Jin slightly shifted his glass.
"So, you have an idea about all this, don't you?" Yamashita raised a brow.
Jin shrugged.
It was almost two at night and yet, he just didn't feel tired. Lately, he felt nervous all day and when he settled down, he would get up immediately. There was always something to be done.
Unfortunately, there was nothing to be done at two at night.
"I can't let this go on. For Kazuya's sake", he added and emptied his glass. "And I don't want Natsuki to go through something like this ever again."
"This makes me a bit glad to have broken up with you, while I still could", Ryo commented.
Jin raised a brow. "I broke up with you."
"Anyways", Yamashita interfered. "You guys weren't serious."
Jin took the bottle and refilled his glass. "Ryo has never been to my house."
The other two nodded.
"He took Kazuya to my flat to take him where he belongs", Jin murmured, looking into his glass. "I had so many affairs and nothing ever happened. Because I took none of them home. I had that flat for that purpose only."
Yamashita frowned. "What do you mean?"
"The flat was for my affairs only. I couldn't bring home another guy for sex every week, could I?" Jin shrugged. "I always took them to the flat and I never got any threats. Neither did they. But Kazuya..." He bit his lip. "Kazuya is different. I took him to my home. He got to know about Natsuki and, I had him sleep in my bed."
Ryo tilted his head. "So, whoever did this brought Kamenashi to your flat, because he thinks that is where Kamenashi belongs? That he's only worth being another affair?"
Jin nodded.
"So", Yamashita said and gave Jin a long look. "This is about someone wanting to take Kamenashi's place?"
Shrugging, Jin shifted on the stool. "No, I think it means that I am not allowed to have a serious relationship." It was still hard to admit it, yet, Jin added: "I am not allowed to be in love."
Suddenly, Yamashita seemed to grasp it, too. "But, why now?"
Jin bit his lip and threw a short glance at Ryo, as if he didn't want to talk about it in front of his friend. He looked into his glass instead and took a deep breath, before he raised his look back to Yamashita.
"It's coming back at me", he murmured. "It's my past coming back at me, after all these years."
Jin had promised himself to not get weak.
He hadn't visited Kazuya in almost four days now and he knew that if he wanted to pull through with his plans, he had to stay away from Kazuya.
It was hard and Jin couldn't even grasp how much he missed Kazuya, but he kept on telling himself that he couldn't go and see him.
Slowly, he would withdraw from Kazuya, until a break-up would only feel natural - the only logical consequence.
Jin took a deep breath and got up from his desk.
It was dark outside and night had come a few hours ago; it was time to go home. He had picked up Natsuki earlier from preschool and had left her with his parents, where she would spend the night.
That gave Jin an excuse to stay at work for a little longer, before returning to his empty, cold bed.
He left the hotel and frowned, as he saw the figure leaning against his car in the car park of the hotel.
Frowning, Jin approached it and stopped with an unbelieving look.
"Are you stupid", he greeted Kazuya.
Kazuya mustered a smile; his hands were buried in the pockets of the worn-out Jeans and he wore just a light shirt.
"Get in", Jin said and pointed at the car. "I'll take you back to the hospital."
"You could properly greet me first", Kazuya suggested and turned to stand in front of Jin.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." Kazuya shrugged. "You didn't come to visit me anymore, so I decided to come and see you."
Jin shook his head. "You know that there's a reason why they keep you in the hospital?"
"Yes, Jin", Kazuya answered calmly. "It's just a concussion. That doesn't mean I turned deaf, blind and stupid."
Lowering his look, Jin knew that Kazuya had grasped what he was up to.
"I missed you, Jin", Kazuya said then and took a step towards.
Jin looked up again and desperately tried to hold himself back. "You are insane to come here."
Kazuya smiled again. "Well, you got that stupid idea to leave me all alone there, so I didn't really have a choice."
Jin couldn't control it anymore. He put his hands to Kazuya's shoulders. "Kazuya, I..." He swallowed thickly. This was the moment. Now, he would have to tell Kazuya what he was up to, what would happen to them.
Instead, his hands gripped tighter on Kazuya's shoulders and Jin pulled him in, embraced him gently. "I miss you."
Kazuya didn't miss that Jin wasn't talking in past tense. He had figured what Jin was up to and this just confirmed it even more. Slowly, he curled his fingers into the fabric of Jin's jacket. "Now, this is what you are supposed to say."
Jin smiled slightly and closed his eyes, buried his face at Kazuya's hair, before he drew back. "I'll take you back to the hospital."
Kazuya held on stronger. "Don't."
Jin sighed and slowly raised his hands, framing Kazuya's face. "You're supposed to be under their care. If anything happens..."
"Just for a night", Kazuya protested. "I just want to be home for a night."
Home, Jin thought and gave Kazuya a long look. Jin wondered what it was that Kazuya saw as his home. In a way, the idea of Kazuya seeing Jin at his home, scared him, but at the same time, he realised that without Kazuya, he didn't feel home anymore, too.
Jin leaned in a placed a soft kiss to Kazuya's lips. "Just for tonight."
Kazuya's expression lit up and he leaned closer to Jin. "I knew you wouldn't send me back."
"I'll take you straight back to hospital tomorrow morning." Jin took Kazuya's hand and turned.
"Where are you going?" Kazuya followed, holding on to Jin's hand.
"Back inside. We'll sleep here. It's closer to the hospital", Jin just answered.
"What about..."
"She's at my parents'." Jin knew what Kazuya had been about to ask. "My mom wanted to have some time with her."
Kazuya pouted his lips, as Jin pressed the button for the left. "So, you didn't even plan to visit me. Although you would have had the time."
Jin shot Kazuya a look and then went into the lift. He pulled Kazuya along and as the doors slid close, he drew Kazuya closer. "Lifts always remind me of you."
Kazuya smiled and played along. "You're trying to change the topic."
"We had that really awesome kiss in a lift", Jin just went on talking. "Do you remember?"
"Hm", Kazuya answered and his look slowly fell to Jin's lips. "Of course."
"I wanted you back then", Jin murmured quietly.
Kazuya licked his lips, raised his look again. "You didn't talk about that job, when you told me you wouldn't let me have what I wanted, did you?"
Jin slightly shook his head. "In that moment, you wanted me more than any job."
"Arrogant as ever", Kazuya commented.
Jin smirked, as they reached the floor of the manager's suite. The doors slid open and he laced his fingers with Kazuya's. "You're mine now." His tone sounded slightly melancholic.
Kazuya shook his head, as their lips met. He closed his eyes and responded to the kiss, before he slightly pulled back. "I made you mine."
Pulling Kazuya along, Jin left the lift and led him to the bedroom.
"Jin", Kazuya murmured, as he followed, his hand warm in Jin's. "Why are you avoiding me?"
Jin stopped and turned, a smile on his lips. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You haven't come to see me in four days."
Shrugging, Jin stepped in front of Kazuya. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Kazuya now. How was he supposed to ever let go of Kazuya when he didn't even want to?
But, he thought and lowered his look, there was wanting and then, there was obligation. "I was just busy, I guess."
Kazuya swallowed thickly, as Jin started to undress him. After the intimate moment they had shared in the lift, it felt rather strange how composed Jin's hands were now and how he stripped Kazuya off his clothes, without actually arousing.
Jin knelt down, as he pulled Kazuya's jeans to his knees and Kazuya stepped out of them. He stared at the scratches and bruises all over Kazuya's skin and tried to ignore that anger dwelling up inside himself.
"It's a concussion, Jin", Kazuya murmured. "You can still touch me. I won't fall apart from that."
Jin got up again and ran his hand over Kazuya's shoulder into his hair. It felt like a brotherly pat. "I am touching you."
Kazuya frowned and stepped closer. "You're not."
Jin shook his head and started to undress himself, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the shirt. Kazuya watched him for a moment, before he approached Jin and helped him out. He made sure that when his knuckles stroke over Jin's chest, when he shoved the fabric from Jin's shoulders, it was to arouse, that it felt intimate.
Jin bit his lip and pulled Kazuya into a warm embrace, warm skin to warm skin. "Stop that, Kazuya. You need to restrain from any physical stress."
Kazuya ran his fingertips down Jin's spine. "It's not like sex was any kind of stress."
Jin shook his head. "You're not allowed anything that would overstrain your lungs. You haven't yet recovered." He leaned back and framed Kazuya's face, pecking his lips.
Kazuya put on a pout, but didn't fight back, as Jin pulled him to the bed. He laid down and didn't argue, as Jin pulled the blanket over him and laid down next to Kazuya.
"I'm not going to help you out in the hospital tomorrow", Jin said lowly. "You know they'll be pretty mad."
Kazuya shifted closer and sought Jin's warmth. "I know. I'm going to deal with it."
"I'm not approving of this, you know", Jin told him. "You'll have to take responsibility yourself."
"I know", Kazuya repeated calmly. "I'll deal with the consequences."
Jin nodded and put an arm over Kazuya's hips. When Kazuya tried to grip his hand, he pulled it away, as if he hadn't noticed.
"Sleep now, pretty", Jin murmured.
Kazuya didn't know why, but something was off and he suddenly felt like crying. Something had happened and Jin withdrew from him.
Kazuya couldn't get through to him anymore.
He watched Jin's closed eyes and the relaxed features of his face.
"Jin", he murmured again.
Jin opened his eyes and looked at Kazuya calmly. "Hm?"
"I'm sorry", Kazuya said, whispered.
Jin stared at him for a moment and Kazuya thought he saw something flicker in those eyes. "What would you be sorry for?"
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder and kept staring into Jin's face. "For whatever it is that makes you stop loving me."
Jin stared back for a moment. Kazuya had quickly started to believe what Jin had wanted him to believe. But now that he did, Jin felt like falling apart. He wouldn't ever stop loving Kazuya and the fact alone that Kazuya thought he could, was ridiculous.
He didn't want Kazuya to believe Jin would abandon him like that.
"Pretty..."
"You know", Kazuya murmured and curled up beneath the blanket. "I am sorry for putting Natsuki into danger and for worrying you like that. I didn't mean to make you angry."
Jin swallowed thickly. Did Kazuya really think it was like that?
"I know I put you through quite some trouble and I really wish I could somehow make it undone, but..."
Kazuya shrieked a little, when Jin suddenly pulled him close. His hand ran into Kazuya's hair and pressed his face to Jin's shoulder to silence him.
"I am not angry with you, idiot", Jin said. "How could you even think that?"
Jin felt Kazuya trembling and he just pulled him closer.
"Listen, Kazuya", he murmured. "I thought I'd go insane. I came to that damn house and there was blood on the floor. Your blood, as I had to realise, after I had found Natsuki."
Kazuya didn't answer, but Jin felt his breath against the skin of his shoulder, warm and alive.
"They told me you hadn't been breathing, when they found you." Jin closed his eyes. "You don't get this, do you? I almost lost you and when I saw you in the hospital, I couldn't help, but cry. You looked like you were dead. How am I supposed to get over that image?"
Kazuya shook his head and nuzzled closer, as close as possible. Jin had even cried for him. "I'm fine, Jin."
"But it's my fault that it happened. I should have seen it coming, I should have taken it more serious." Jin swallowed thickly. "You kept telling me you were not the one in danger... but, you almost got killed."
"Just almost", Kazuya answered and finally understood that Jin had been worried, seriously worried for him. That Jin felt responsible - because he could not have protected Kazuya from what had happened."I'm here now. Right here."
Jin still was stiff next to Kazuya, rejecting to return caresses and endearment.
"You know", Kazuya said then and lifted his head from Jin's shoulder to look at him. Jin may held him, but he didn't really hold him. "Ever since I woke up in that hospital, I just wanted one thing."
Jin hesitated before he directed his look at Kazuya.
"I just want to feel safe for a little", Kazuya murmured. "I just want to have the feeling for a moment that everything is alright and that it's okay to just fall asleep."
All of Jin's resistance crumbled like a sandcastle against the waves. His hand gripped harder on the back of Kazuya's head.
"I'm feeling safe here", Kazuya mumbled and closed his eyes, nuzzling against Jin again. "Because you're next to me."
Jin let go of his breath and his hand got gentle, when he moved it to Kazuya's nape, tenderly caressing the skin. Kazuya probably just used the fact of Jin being overprotective, the fact that he knew Jin had always felt drawn to Kazuya, because he wanted to protect him.
"I'm facing all consequences tomorrow", Kazuya said and leaned into Jin's touch.
He felt Jin nod against his hair and suddenly, it got warmer and Kazuya smiled slightly, as Jin's hand stroked down his arm and gripped Kazuya's. Jin slowly laced their fingers and Kazuya knew he had broken down the wall.
Jin was back, right here beside him and Jin loved him like he used to.
"Thanks", Kazuya murmured and Jin hushed, pulled him closer.
"Sleep, pretty", Jin said quietly. "I'll keep you safe."
Kazuya felt his heart speed up at those words and he fell into a deep sleep that only ended, when Jin gently shook him awake in the morning.
Later, in the hospital, Jin took all responsibility for Kazuya's disappearance and bowed to the doctors and nurses.
And Kazuya was convinced that no one would ever love him like that. Protective and complicated, stubborn and without any logic. Completely honest, with all their lies involved.
The way that Jin did.
It took another week, before Kazuya was finally discharged.
He had his bag in his hand as he came down the steps, he saw Jin waiting for him. Outside, it was almost dark, the sun was just setting.
"Stupid", Jin greeted him and took the bag from Kazuya's hand. "How did you plan to get home?"
Kazuya followed him outside. "I know you're busy. I could have taken a train."
Jin shook his head and put the bag to the back seat, while Kazuya got into the car on the passenger's side.
"I'm not letting you take a train", Jin said, as he sat next to Kazuya. "You should have asked me to come. Fortunately, a nurse called me."
Kazuya didn't argue and reached out his hand to take Jin's. Jin turned his hand to lace their fingers.
"How are you feeling?"
Kazuya shrugged. "Okay. Not different from usual."
Jin nodded and threw Kazuya a glance. "I'm taking you to the hotel."
"I can't wait to get back to work." Kazuya closed his eyes for a moment.
For a moment, Jin kept silent to that, before he said: "I already have quite a bit to do for you."
"That sounds like music to my ears", Kazuya answered and gave Jin a grin.
They parked in front of the hotel and Jin got out, waiting for Kazuya to follow him. As they walked in, everyone greeted them, asked for Kazuya's health. Jin walked into reception and opened the door to the back office, letting Kazuya get in first.
Kazuya stopped and stared at Natsuki who sat in his chair, a sheet of paper in front of her and a pen in her hand.
"Kazu-nii", she said and got up, running towards him.
He caught her in his arms and pulled her in, closed his eyes at the familiar scent of soap and just Natsuki. "Love", he said and held her for a second longer. "How are you?"
She smiled at him and put her hands to his shoulders. "Kazu-nii had to be in the hospital for so long. I missed you."
He smiled and stroked her cheek. "I missed you, too, darling."
She turned and ran over to the desk, gripping the paper. "I drew a picture for you to get well soon." Natsuki held it up for him. "It's you and me. And this is Mi-chan and Vanilla is here and Papa is in the hotel, in his office."
Kazuya smiled and wondered why Jin wasn't there with everyone else. "Thank you. I'll put it up in my flat."
She nodded and then, approached Jin, nuzzling against him, as if she was embarrassed. Jin ran a hand through her hair and watched Kazuya. His eyes looked tired.
"I'll bring her upstairs", Jin said. "Wait here for me."
Kazuya just nodded and let Jin leave with Natsuki. He didn't quite grasp why Natsuki couldn't stay with them, but then again, it was late and she probably was better off upstairs, where she could go to bed, if she got tired.
As Jin came back a few moments later, he closed the door behind himself and went over to Kazuya, sitting across from him.
"Kazuya...", he started, but closed his mouth again. "Can I ask you something?"
Kazuya raised a brow. "Sure."
"Apart from me, it was only Nakamaru and his girlfriend coming to visit you." Jin tilted his head. "What about your family?"
Lowering his look, Kazuya shrugged. "My parents died in an accident, when I started at college."
Jin bit his lip. "I'm sorry."
"I don't have family anymore, Jin", Kazuya said then, his voice firm. "I should have told you earlier, but... I don't really like talking about that time."
And without him, Jin thought, Kazuya would be alone. He already hated himself for what he was up to do. But he didn't have a choice.
"I talked to your landlord", Jin said, dropping the former topic.
Kazuya frowned. "I was about to move out, anyway", he said. "What did you talk about?"
Jin hesitated. "I had a moving company empty the flat. Your furniture stayed in the flat and it's going to be rented out like that."
Kazuya tilted his head and gave Jin a confused look. "What, please?"
"All your personal things are upstairs, I got them packed up." Jin's voice was matter-of-factly, as he opened a drawer. "You can take them with you tomorrow."
"Jin..." Kazuya's look got soft and he leaned forward, reaching out to take Jin's hand. "You should have asked me to move in with you. I can't just..."
Jin raised his look and shook his head. He didn't return the squeeze of Kazuya's hand. "You're not moving in with me", he said. "You're moving into a new flat. A safer one."
Kazuya frowned and blushed, pulling back. "That, too - you should have talked to me first."
Jin put a small envelope in front of Kazuya. "You're moving tomorrow afternoon."
Frowning, Kazuya gripped it and pulled out the content of the envelope. He stared at the ticket in his hand.
"Osaka?"
Jin nodded. "Everything is set up."
Kazuya lowered it and stared at Jin in disbelief. "What is going on here?"
"I need someone capable in Osaka and the only one I trust to get it done, is you", Jin answered and leaned back in his chair.
For about ten seconds, Kazuya didn't answer. He just stared at Jin. "What about Koki?"
Jin shrugged. "He'll assist you. You'll be the head manager." He put on a smile, but it looked rather bitter. "Congratulations, this has just been your first promotion!"
Kazuya got up from his chair. "Fuck off, Jin", he hissed and threw the ticket to the table. "I am not doing this."
"You are", Jin answered, still calm. "You don't have much of a choice. After all, you're one of my employees. So, if I send you to another branch, there's not much you can do about it."
Rounding the table, Kazuya approached Jin. "The hell with that, Jin. I'm not your employee, I am your boyfriend."
"Didn't we agree on keeping up professionalism?" Jin looked up at Kazuya. "So, for the hotel, it's best to have you in Osaka."
Kazuya shook his head. "This is getting too far, Jin", he murmured.
"What is getting to far?" Jin kept up his indifferent and calm mask.
"Your damn urge to protect me." Kazuya leaned in and put his hands to the armrests of Jin's chair. "I accepted that, because it's just the way you are. But now, you're taking it too far."
Jin looked at him for a moment, before he lifted his hand and gently ran it over Kazuya's cheek. "It's the only thing I can do."
Kazuya shook his head. "You are not protecting me by breaking up, Jin."
Jin nodded. "That's actually what I am doing."
"What do you know?" Kazuya didn't let it get to him - the fact that Jin had just confirmed he wanted to break up. "You figured what it is that you're protecting me from, didn't you?"
"I did", Jin agreed.
"Tell me, Jin", Kazuya requested and stared into his eyes. "Don't choose the path of redlining me from your life. Tell me and we'll figure something."
Jin sighed and dropped his hand from Kazuya's cheek. "There are things you don't know, pretty", he murmured. "Things I'll never be able to tell you about."
"We agreed on being honest, didn't we?" Kazuya slid onto Jin's lap and framed his face. "We fought so hard to get to be together, Jin. Don't throw it away now."
Jin lowered his look, shook his head. "I can't."
Kazuya just stared at him, his eyes hurt. "You said you love me. Act on it, damn it!"
Jin shut his eyes and wound his arms around Kazuya, pulling him in. "I am acting on it. So, stop arguing for once and do what I'm saying." His voice broke and was muffled against Kazuya's neck. "You're going to Osaka tomorrow. Period."
Kazuya swallowed thickly, just shaking his head, as he closed his arms around Jin's neck.
"You said Natsuki is most important, didn't you?" Jin knew exactly what buttons to press to get Kazuya to do what he wanted. "She won't be in danger, if you're leaving."
"You're mean", Kazuya whispered. "You know how to make me give in."
"I can't afford having you convince me otherwise", Jin mumbled. "Please, don't talk back. Don't argue. Just accept things as they are. Don't make it any harder for me than it is already."
Kazuya knew he had lost. There was no way he could make Jin change his mind. And, of course, Natsuki's safety was above everything else.
"I took the day off tomorrow", Jin murmured. "I'll stay with you tonight and I'll take you to the airport."
Kazuya swallowed thickly. " I don't even want to see you right now. I don't want to spend the night with you."
"With me and Natsuki. She doesn't know yet", Jin added. "I thought you would like to have some time to say goodbye."
"I wish you could trust me enough, so I wouldn't have to say goodbye at all." Kazuya pulled back and looked at Jin. "I worked so hard on making you mine."
Jin didn't lower his look this time. "I can't risk it, Kazuya."
It was Kazuya who broke their eye contact this time, as he shifted from Jin's lap. "I'll go upstairs and talk to Natsuki", he murmured. "After all, we can't tell her that you have enough of me and that's why I'll move away. I make up some story for her."
"Kazuya..."
"No, Jin", Kazuya said and threw him a glance from the door. "I've heard enough." He closed the door behind himself and got to the elevator that would take him directly up to the manager's suite.
Natsuki sat on the couch, her hair open, in her pyjamas already and she watched some programme on TV. As she saw him, she smiled.
"Kazu-nii", she said and waved him over.
Kazuya sat down next to her and gave her a long look.
Natsuki wasn't dumb, so she noticed something was off and turned to him, ignoring the TV. "Kazu-nii?"
"Can I have a hug?" He felt stupid for that, but it was the only thing that came to his mind. Natsuki didn't hesitate, she had her arms around his neck in an instant, her small body pressing close to his chest.
"Baby", Kazuya murmured and didn't notice that he used Jin's nickname for her. "We need to talk."
Kazuya got up and switched off the TV, Natsuki on his arms. He carried her to the bedroom and sat down with her.
"Listen", he said and kept her on his lap. "I'll be moving away."
She stared at him with huge eyes and with that look that only a six-year-old girl could give.
"I'll be going to Osaka to manage one of Papa's hotels there", Kazuya said. "So, I won't be able to come and see you anymore."
Tears built up in her eyes and Kazuya knew that he'd be on his knees once they'd flow over. "Don't cry, Natsuki." He took her small hand into his. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head. "Can't Papa and Natsuki come with Kazu-nii?"
Kazuya shook his head. "I am afraid that's impossible." He took a deep breath. "I'm leaving tomorrow. So, we'll have to say goodbye in the morning, before you'll go to preschool."
Natsuki gripped harder on Kazuya's hand. "I don't want to!"
Kazuya smiled. "Don't worry, baby", he murmured and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'll come and visit you from time to time."
She started to sob and Kazuya's heart dropped and the sight. He pulled her in and buried her face at his shoulder.
"Natsuki", he said then and withdrew a little. Slowly, he shoved the plain silver ring he had gotten from Jin from his finger and held it in front of her face. "Do you know what it means when a boy gives a ring to a girl?"
She sniffled and nodded, looking from the ring to Kazuya's face. "That he loves her and that he wants to marry her."
Kazuya smiled and took her hand, sliding the ring onto her finger. "I'll be back to keep my promise, okay? So, don't cry anymore."
She stared at the ring that was way too big for her tiny finger and beamed at Kazuya then. "Kazu-ni..."
He remembered Jin's words and kissed Natsuki's forehead instead of her lips. "I love you, little princess, so wait for me, will you?"
She nodded, nuzzled close and Kazuya leaned back against the cushions, holding her in her arms, gently stroking her hair, until she fell asleep. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against her hair. He was almost asleep, when he heard the doors of the lift slide open, so he kept an eye on the door to the bedroom, until Jin appeared.
He gave them a long look. "How is she?"
Kazuya didn't move. "She cried."
"I would have been surprised if she hadn't. She worships you." Jin slowly came over.
"Well, it's the same the other way around", Kazuya commented.
Jin sat down on the edge of the mattress and gently ran his knuckles over Natsuki's cheek. Then, he noticed the ring on her finger. He threw Kazuya a look, but didn't say anything.
He couldn't say anything, there was nothing more he could say and Kazuya didn't look like he actually wanted to hear any more of Jin.
So, Jin just shifted and sat next to Kazuya, their hips and shoulders touching. Kazuya glanced at him, before he tilted his head and put it to Jin's shoulder. Jin took it as a silent agreement and he put his arm around Kazuya, pulled him and Natsuki closer.
Kazuya closed his eyes and as the first tear strolled down his cheek, he was grateful that Jin still didn't say anything.
Instead, he took Kazuya's hand and laced their fingers, held on tight and Kazuya felt Jin's chest heaving beneath his head.
And a silent tear dripped to Kazuya's hair.
"Jin", Kazuya said, as he left the car, after a long drive in silence.
Natsuki had protested this morning, until Kazuya had accompanied her and Jin to preschool. There, she hadn't let go of Kazuya at all. She had been clinging to him until the last second and Kazuya didn't think he would be able to take anymore.
"You didn't ask me to argue", he said now, as Jin got out of the car, too and got Kazuya's luggage from the back of the car.
"Then, don't start now." Jin locked the car and turned.
Kazuya ignored Jin's answer. "Why are you doing this, if you don't even want it?"
"Kazuya, please", Jin murmured and stopped, without turning. "Who says I don't want this?"
Catching up, Kazuya stopped in front of Jin. "You, Jin", he said seriously. "You hate to break Natsuki's heart like this and you hate to hurt me. I know you do", he added, as Jin was about to say something. "And damn, I wasn't the only one crying tonight."
Jin closed his lips and sighed.
"You know, it's not too late yet. I would be stupid enough to forgive you once more", Kazuya murmured. "You really don't deserve it, but I'd do it."
"Could you stop it?" Jin let go of the suit case and pulled Kazuya in, claiming his lips in an angry kiss. "Can't you just stop?"
Kazuya's fingers curled into the fabric of Jin's leather jacket. "You're the one kissing me."
"Yes, because it's pretty hard to send away the guy I love." Jin kissed Kazuya again and this time, it was softer and longer.
"Jin, it's enough now, don't you think? You're not doing anyone good with this. You need me by your side." Kazuya's voice was gentle and just so reasonable, as he spoke quietly.
Jin wanted to believe it.
"Your flight is leaving in twenty minutes." He stepped back. "You have to check in."
"I won't."
"You will."
"Jin..."
"No", Jin said and picked up the suitcase he had dropped. "I made the decision and I'm not going to change my mind. You'll have to leave."
Kazuya let go of his breath and followed Jin. "Seriously, Jin. This is not making sense."
"It does make perfect sense." Jin checked in Kazuya's ticket and handed it to him then. "I am protecting you and I'm protecting Natsuki."
"You know", Kazuya said lowly, as he gripped the ticket. "If you send me away now - again - I am not coming back to you, Jin."
Jin felt is heart drop. He knew that it would have come to this words, he had known Kazuya would say them at some point; when he would be fed up with Jin.
"That's the whole idea behind this."
Kazuya nodded, his posture stiff. "Okay. I understand." He turned and got to the boarding gate.
Jin followed and when they reached it, Kazuya turned once more, taking the suitcase Jin had carried for him and gave him a long look.
"I can't believe you're doing this", he murmured.
Jin couldn't, either, but he put on a cold smile. "Take care, pretty."
"Spare me the arrogant mask", Kazuya answered. "Be honest at least now."
Jin stepped forward and his look was serious, as he reached out his hand and shortly, gently squeezed Kazuya's. "Take care, Kazuya."
Kazuya nodded. "You, too. And take care of Natsuki."
He turned and Jin let him walk off, waited for a few moments longer, before he saw the plane move. Jin turned and walked off, leaving the building.
He reached his car and as he saw someone leaning against it, he instantly knew who it was.
"I've done everything you wanted", Jin said. "He's gone, we broke up and he won't come back to me."
The person had a cold smile for him, before he turned and walked to his own car.
Jin knew it wasn't over with this - it had only just started.
He got into his car and stared after the car driving off.
"He's gone", he repeated and realised it completely for the first time - what it meant, what would happen from now on, that he was alone again.
Jin blankly stared up front and his heart ached, as he realised that he had not considered one important thing.
Kazuya was probably better off without Jin, but Jin didn't think he could move on without Kazuya.
----------------------------------------------
Oh, Jin... Bakanishi, what mess are you in?
I am sorry for my obsession with hands v.v
Thanks a lot for reading ♥
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance, AU
Rating: PG-13 and up.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: The first impression counts and Kazuya's first impression of Jin is not the best. However, Jin is determined to get to know Kazuya - and Kazuya makes up a few lies, which suddenly become huge... And then, the tide is turning.
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I lived in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
Well, well... I started answering comments to the last chap and I will ctach up tomorrow :) It took a bit longer to update this time, as I had to made up my mind about the story. I was debatting with myself wheter this should be the last chap already. Expect another at least 3 now XD
With my loveliest wishes to xxxasukixx Happy Birthday, my dear ♥ I am sorry I haven't got anything better than this (yet), but this is for you, as you're so good in being my Natsuki, whenever we go grocery shopping XD
Love you lots ♥
Okay, so, on to the cheesy angst.
Enjoy it! ♥
Previous Chapters:
First Lie: Who am I?
Second Lie: Find Me
Third Lie: Exposed
Fourth Lie: On Repeat
Fifth Lie: More of You
Sixth Lie: Not My Fault
Seventh Lie: Out of Reach
Eighth Lie: Leaving You
Ninth Lie: Hold On
Tenth Lie: Secret
Eleventh Lie: Broken Lovers
Twelfth Lie: Worry About You
Thirteenth Lie: I Won't
Fourteenth Lie: Only My Illursion
Fifteenth Lie: Heavy Damage
Sixteenth Lie: Too Close
Seventeenth Lie: Cutting Ties
It was rather dark and Jin couldn't really see clearly anymore.
The bar had already closed down and he was the last guest; although, he wasn't actually a guest.
Yamashita and Ryo sat next to him, the only three stools that hadn't been put to the counter yet. Only a small light behind the bar was still on and there was no sound apart from the ice cubes moving, as Jin slightly shifted his glass.
"So, you have an idea about all this, don't you?" Yamashita raised a brow.
Jin shrugged.
It was almost two at night and yet, he just didn't feel tired. Lately, he felt nervous all day and when he settled down, he would get up immediately. There was always something to be done.
Unfortunately, there was nothing to be done at two at night.
"I can't let this go on. For Kazuya's sake", he added and emptied his glass. "And I don't want Natsuki to go through something like this ever again."
"This makes me a bit glad to have broken up with you, while I still could", Ryo commented.
Jin raised a brow. "I broke up with you."
"Anyways", Yamashita interfered. "You guys weren't serious."
Jin took the bottle and refilled his glass. "Ryo has never been to my house."
The other two nodded.
"He took Kazuya to my flat to take him where he belongs", Jin murmured, looking into his glass. "I had so many affairs and nothing ever happened. Because I took none of them home. I had that flat for that purpose only."
Yamashita frowned. "What do you mean?"
"The flat was for my affairs only. I couldn't bring home another guy for sex every week, could I?" Jin shrugged. "I always took them to the flat and I never got any threats. Neither did they. But Kazuya..." He bit his lip. "Kazuya is different. I took him to my home. He got to know about Natsuki and, I had him sleep in my bed."
Ryo tilted his head. "So, whoever did this brought Kamenashi to your flat, because he thinks that is where Kamenashi belongs? That he's only worth being another affair?"
Jin nodded.
"So", Yamashita said and gave Jin a long look. "This is about someone wanting to take Kamenashi's place?"
Shrugging, Jin shifted on the stool. "No, I think it means that I am not allowed to have a serious relationship." It was still hard to admit it, yet, Jin added: "I am not allowed to be in love."
Suddenly, Yamashita seemed to grasp it, too. "But, why now?"
Jin bit his lip and threw a short glance at Ryo, as if he didn't want to talk about it in front of his friend. He looked into his glass instead and took a deep breath, before he raised his look back to Yamashita.
"It's coming back at me", he murmured. "It's my past coming back at me, after all these years."
Jin had promised himself to not get weak.
He hadn't visited Kazuya in almost four days now and he knew that if he wanted to pull through with his plans, he had to stay away from Kazuya.
It was hard and Jin couldn't even grasp how much he missed Kazuya, but he kept on telling himself that he couldn't go and see him.
Slowly, he would withdraw from Kazuya, until a break-up would only feel natural - the only logical consequence.
Jin took a deep breath and got up from his desk.
It was dark outside and night had come a few hours ago; it was time to go home. He had picked up Natsuki earlier from preschool and had left her with his parents, where she would spend the night.
That gave Jin an excuse to stay at work for a little longer, before returning to his empty, cold bed.
He left the hotel and frowned, as he saw the figure leaning against his car in the car park of the hotel.
Frowning, Jin approached it and stopped with an unbelieving look.
"Are you stupid", he greeted Kazuya.
Kazuya mustered a smile; his hands were buried in the pockets of the worn-out Jeans and he wore just a light shirt.
"Get in", Jin said and pointed at the car. "I'll take you back to the hospital."
"You could properly greet me first", Kazuya suggested and turned to stand in front of Jin.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." Kazuya shrugged. "You didn't come to visit me anymore, so I decided to come and see you."
Jin shook his head. "You know that there's a reason why they keep you in the hospital?"
"Yes, Jin", Kazuya answered calmly. "It's just a concussion. That doesn't mean I turned deaf, blind and stupid."
Lowering his look, Jin knew that Kazuya had grasped what he was up to.
"I missed you, Jin", Kazuya said then and took a step towards.
Jin looked up again and desperately tried to hold himself back. "You are insane to come here."
Kazuya smiled again. "Well, you got that stupid idea to leave me all alone there, so I didn't really have a choice."
Jin couldn't control it anymore. He put his hands to Kazuya's shoulders. "Kazuya, I..." He swallowed thickly. This was the moment. Now, he would have to tell Kazuya what he was up to, what would happen to them.
Instead, his hands gripped tighter on Kazuya's shoulders and Jin pulled him in, embraced him gently. "I miss you."
Kazuya didn't miss that Jin wasn't talking in past tense. He had figured what Jin was up to and this just confirmed it even more. Slowly, he curled his fingers into the fabric of Jin's jacket. "Now, this is what you are supposed to say."
Jin smiled slightly and closed his eyes, buried his face at Kazuya's hair, before he drew back. "I'll take you back to the hospital."
Kazuya held on stronger. "Don't."
Jin sighed and slowly raised his hands, framing Kazuya's face. "You're supposed to be under their care. If anything happens..."
"Just for a night", Kazuya protested. "I just want to be home for a night."
Home, Jin thought and gave Kazuya a long look. Jin wondered what it was that Kazuya saw as his home. In a way, the idea of Kazuya seeing Jin at his home, scared him, but at the same time, he realised that without Kazuya, he didn't feel home anymore, too.
Jin leaned in a placed a soft kiss to Kazuya's lips. "Just for tonight."
Kazuya's expression lit up and he leaned closer to Jin. "I knew you wouldn't send me back."
"I'll take you straight back to hospital tomorrow morning." Jin took Kazuya's hand and turned.
"Where are you going?" Kazuya followed, holding on to Jin's hand.
"Back inside. We'll sleep here. It's closer to the hospital", Jin just answered.
"What about..."
"She's at my parents'." Jin knew what Kazuya had been about to ask. "My mom wanted to have some time with her."
Kazuya pouted his lips, as Jin pressed the button for the left. "So, you didn't even plan to visit me. Although you would have had the time."
Jin shot Kazuya a look and then went into the lift. He pulled Kazuya along and as the doors slid close, he drew Kazuya closer. "Lifts always remind me of you."
Kazuya smiled and played along. "You're trying to change the topic."
"We had that really awesome kiss in a lift", Jin just went on talking. "Do you remember?"
"Hm", Kazuya answered and his look slowly fell to Jin's lips. "Of course."
"I wanted you back then", Jin murmured quietly.
Kazuya licked his lips, raised his look again. "You didn't talk about that job, when you told me you wouldn't let me have what I wanted, did you?"
Jin slightly shook his head. "In that moment, you wanted me more than any job."
"Arrogant as ever", Kazuya commented.
Jin smirked, as they reached the floor of the manager's suite. The doors slid open and he laced his fingers with Kazuya's. "You're mine now." His tone sounded slightly melancholic.
Kazuya shook his head, as their lips met. He closed his eyes and responded to the kiss, before he slightly pulled back. "I made you mine."
Pulling Kazuya along, Jin left the lift and led him to the bedroom.
"Jin", Kazuya murmured, as he followed, his hand warm in Jin's. "Why are you avoiding me?"
Jin stopped and turned, a smile on his lips. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You haven't come to see me in four days."
Shrugging, Jin stepped in front of Kazuya. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Kazuya now. How was he supposed to ever let go of Kazuya when he didn't even want to?
But, he thought and lowered his look, there was wanting and then, there was obligation. "I was just busy, I guess."
Kazuya swallowed thickly, as Jin started to undress him. After the intimate moment they had shared in the lift, it felt rather strange how composed Jin's hands were now and how he stripped Kazuya off his clothes, without actually arousing.
Jin knelt down, as he pulled Kazuya's jeans to his knees and Kazuya stepped out of them. He stared at the scratches and bruises all over Kazuya's skin and tried to ignore that anger dwelling up inside himself.
"It's a concussion, Jin", Kazuya murmured. "You can still touch me. I won't fall apart from that."
Jin got up again and ran his hand over Kazuya's shoulder into his hair. It felt like a brotherly pat. "I am touching you."
Kazuya frowned and stepped closer. "You're not."
Jin shook his head and started to undress himself, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the shirt. Kazuya watched him for a moment, before he approached Jin and helped him out. He made sure that when his knuckles stroke over Jin's chest, when he shoved the fabric from Jin's shoulders, it was to arouse, that it felt intimate.
Jin bit his lip and pulled Kazuya into a warm embrace, warm skin to warm skin. "Stop that, Kazuya. You need to restrain from any physical stress."
Kazuya ran his fingertips down Jin's spine. "It's not like sex was any kind of stress."
Jin shook his head. "You're not allowed anything that would overstrain your lungs. You haven't yet recovered." He leaned back and framed Kazuya's face, pecking his lips.
Kazuya put on a pout, but didn't fight back, as Jin pulled him to the bed. He laid down and didn't argue, as Jin pulled the blanket over him and laid down next to Kazuya.
"I'm not going to help you out in the hospital tomorrow", Jin said lowly. "You know they'll be pretty mad."
Kazuya shifted closer and sought Jin's warmth. "I know. I'm going to deal with it."
"I'm not approving of this, you know", Jin told him. "You'll have to take responsibility yourself."
"I know", Kazuya repeated calmly. "I'll deal with the consequences."
Jin nodded and put an arm over Kazuya's hips. When Kazuya tried to grip his hand, he pulled it away, as if he hadn't noticed.
"Sleep now, pretty", Jin murmured.
Kazuya didn't know why, but something was off and he suddenly felt like crying. Something had happened and Jin withdrew from him.
Kazuya couldn't get through to him anymore.
He watched Jin's closed eyes and the relaxed features of his face.
"Jin", he murmured again.
Jin opened his eyes and looked at Kazuya calmly. "Hm?"
"I'm sorry", Kazuya said, whispered.
Jin stared at him for a moment and Kazuya thought he saw something flicker in those eyes. "What would you be sorry for?"
Kazuya shrugged a shoulder and kept staring into Jin's face. "For whatever it is that makes you stop loving me."
Jin stared back for a moment. Kazuya had quickly started to believe what Jin had wanted him to believe. But now that he did, Jin felt like falling apart. He wouldn't ever stop loving Kazuya and the fact alone that Kazuya thought he could, was ridiculous.
He didn't want Kazuya to believe Jin would abandon him like that.
"Pretty..."
"You know", Kazuya murmured and curled up beneath the blanket. "I am sorry for putting Natsuki into danger and for worrying you like that. I didn't mean to make you angry."
Jin swallowed thickly. Did Kazuya really think it was like that?
"I know I put you through quite some trouble and I really wish I could somehow make it undone, but..."
Kazuya shrieked a little, when Jin suddenly pulled him close. His hand ran into Kazuya's hair and pressed his face to Jin's shoulder to silence him.
"I am not angry with you, idiot", Jin said. "How could you even think that?"
Jin felt Kazuya trembling and he just pulled him closer.
"Listen, Kazuya", he murmured. "I thought I'd go insane. I came to that damn house and there was blood on the floor. Your blood, as I had to realise, after I had found Natsuki."
Kazuya didn't answer, but Jin felt his breath against the skin of his shoulder, warm and alive.
"They told me you hadn't been breathing, when they found you." Jin closed his eyes. "You don't get this, do you? I almost lost you and when I saw you in the hospital, I couldn't help, but cry. You looked like you were dead. How am I supposed to get over that image?"
Kazuya shook his head and nuzzled closer, as close as possible. Jin had even cried for him. "I'm fine, Jin."
"But it's my fault that it happened. I should have seen it coming, I should have taken it more serious." Jin swallowed thickly. "You kept telling me you were not the one in danger... but, you almost got killed."
"Just almost", Kazuya answered and finally understood that Jin had been worried, seriously worried for him. That Jin felt responsible - because he could not have protected Kazuya from what had happened."I'm here now. Right here."
Jin still was stiff next to Kazuya, rejecting to return caresses and endearment.
"You know", Kazuya said then and lifted his head from Jin's shoulder to look at him. Jin may held him, but he didn't really hold him. "Ever since I woke up in that hospital, I just wanted one thing."
Jin hesitated before he directed his look at Kazuya.
"I just want to feel safe for a little", Kazuya murmured. "I just want to have the feeling for a moment that everything is alright and that it's okay to just fall asleep."
All of Jin's resistance crumbled like a sandcastle against the waves. His hand gripped harder on the back of Kazuya's head.
"I'm feeling safe here", Kazuya mumbled and closed his eyes, nuzzling against Jin again. "Because you're next to me."
Jin let go of his breath and his hand got gentle, when he moved it to Kazuya's nape, tenderly caressing the skin. Kazuya probably just used the fact of Jin being overprotective, the fact that he knew Jin had always felt drawn to Kazuya, because he wanted to protect him.
"I'm facing all consequences tomorrow", Kazuya said and leaned into Jin's touch.
He felt Jin nod against his hair and suddenly, it got warmer and Kazuya smiled slightly, as Jin's hand stroked down his arm and gripped Kazuya's. Jin slowly laced their fingers and Kazuya knew he had broken down the wall.
Jin was back, right here beside him and Jin loved him like he used to.
"Thanks", Kazuya murmured and Jin hushed, pulled him closer.
"Sleep, pretty", Jin said quietly. "I'll keep you safe."
Kazuya felt his heart speed up at those words and he fell into a deep sleep that only ended, when Jin gently shook him awake in the morning.
Later, in the hospital, Jin took all responsibility for Kazuya's disappearance and bowed to the doctors and nurses.
And Kazuya was convinced that no one would ever love him like that. Protective and complicated, stubborn and without any logic. Completely honest, with all their lies involved.
The way that Jin did.
It took another week, before Kazuya was finally discharged.
He had his bag in his hand as he came down the steps, he saw Jin waiting for him. Outside, it was almost dark, the sun was just setting.
"Stupid", Jin greeted him and took the bag from Kazuya's hand. "How did you plan to get home?"
Kazuya followed him outside. "I know you're busy. I could have taken a train."
Jin shook his head and put the bag to the back seat, while Kazuya got into the car on the passenger's side.
"I'm not letting you take a train", Jin said, as he sat next to Kazuya. "You should have asked me to come. Fortunately, a nurse called me."
Kazuya didn't argue and reached out his hand to take Jin's. Jin turned his hand to lace their fingers.
"How are you feeling?"
Kazuya shrugged. "Okay. Not different from usual."
Jin nodded and threw Kazuya a glance. "I'm taking you to the hotel."
"I can't wait to get back to work." Kazuya closed his eyes for a moment.
For a moment, Jin kept silent to that, before he said: "I already have quite a bit to do for you."
"That sounds like music to my ears", Kazuya answered and gave Jin a grin.
They parked in front of the hotel and Jin got out, waiting for Kazuya to follow him. As they walked in, everyone greeted them, asked for Kazuya's health. Jin walked into reception and opened the door to the back office, letting Kazuya get in first.
Kazuya stopped and stared at Natsuki who sat in his chair, a sheet of paper in front of her and a pen in her hand.
"Kazu-nii", she said and got up, running towards him.
He caught her in his arms and pulled her in, closed his eyes at the familiar scent of soap and just Natsuki. "Love", he said and held her for a second longer. "How are you?"
She smiled at him and put her hands to his shoulders. "Kazu-nii had to be in the hospital for so long. I missed you."
He smiled and stroked her cheek. "I missed you, too, darling."
She turned and ran over to the desk, gripping the paper. "I drew a picture for you to get well soon." Natsuki held it up for him. "It's you and me. And this is Mi-chan and Vanilla is here and Papa is in the hotel, in his office."
Kazuya smiled and wondered why Jin wasn't there with everyone else. "Thank you. I'll put it up in my flat."
She nodded and then, approached Jin, nuzzling against him, as if she was embarrassed. Jin ran a hand through her hair and watched Kazuya. His eyes looked tired.
"I'll bring her upstairs", Jin said. "Wait here for me."
Kazuya just nodded and let Jin leave with Natsuki. He didn't quite grasp why Natsuki couldn't stay with them, but then again, it was late and she probably was better off upstairs, where she could go to bed, if she got tired.
As Jin came back a few moments later, he closed the door behind himself and went over to Kazuya, sitting across from him.
"Kazuya...", he started, but closed his mouth again. "Can I ask you something?"
Kazuya raised a brow. "Sure."
"Apart from me, it was only Nakamaru and his girlfriend coming to visit you." Jin tilted his head. "What about your family?"
Lowering his look, Kazuya shrugged. "My parents died in an accident, when I started at college."
Jin bit his lip. "I'm sorry."
"I don't have family anymore, Jin", Kazuya said then, his voice firm. "I should have told you earlier, but... I don't really like talking about that time."
And without him, Jin thought, Kazuya would be alone. He already hated himself for what he was up to do. But he didn't have a choice.
"I talked to your landlord", Jin said, dropping the former topic.
Kazuya frowned. "I was about to move out, anyway", he said. "What did you talk about?"
Jin hesitated. "I had a moving company empty the flat. Your furniture stayed in the flat and it's going to be rented out like that."
Kazuya tilted his head and gave Jin a confused look. "What, please?"
"All your personal things are upstairs, I got them packed up." Jin's voice was matter-of-factly, as he opened a drawer. "You can take them with you tomorrow."
"Jin..." Kazuya's look got soft and he leaned forward, reaching out to take Jin's hand. "You should have asked me to move in with you. I can't just..."
Jin raised his look and shook his head. He didn't return the squeeze of Kazuya's hand. "You're not moving in with me", he said. "You're moving into a new flat. A safer one."
Kazuya frowned and blushed, pulling back. "That, too - you should have talked to me first."
Jin put a small envelope in front of Kazuya. "You're moving tomorrow afternoon."
Frowning, Kazuya gripped it and pulled out the content of the envelope. He stared at the ticket in his hand.
"Osaka?"
Jin nodded. "Everything is set up."
Kazuya lowered it and stared at Jin in disbelief. "What is going on here?"
"I need someone capable in Osaka and the only one I trust to get it done, is you", Jin answered and leaned back in his chair.
For about ten seconds, Kazuya didn't answer. He just stared at Jin. "What about Koki?"
Jin shrugged. "He'll assist you. You'll be the head manager." He put on a smile, but it looked rather bitter. "Congratulations, this has just been your first promotion!"
Kazuya got up from his chair. "Fuck off, Jin", he hissed and threw the ticket to the table. "I am not doing this."
"You are", Jin answered, still calm. "You don't have much of a choice. After all, you're one of my employees. So, if I send you to another branch, there's not much you can do about it."
Rounding the table, Kazuya approached Jin. "The hell with that, Jin. I'm not your employee, I am your boyfriend."
"Didn't we agree on keeping up professionalism?" Jin looked up at Kazuya. "So, for the hotel, it's best to have you in Osaka."
Kazuya shook his head. "This is getting too far, Jin", he murmured.
"What is getting to far?" Jin kept up his indifferent and calm mask.
"Your damn urge to protect me." Kazuya leaned in and put his hands to the armrests of Jin's chair. "I accepted that, because it's just the way you are. But now, you're taking it too far."
Jin looked at him for a moment, before he lifted his hand and gently ran it over Kazuya's cheek. "It's the only thing I can do."
Kazuya shook his head. "You are not protecting me by breaking up, Jin."
Jin nodded. "That's actually what I am doing."
"What do you know?" Kazuya didn't let it get to him - the fact that Jin had just confirmed he wanted to break up. "You figured what it is that you're protecting me from, didn't you?"
"I did", Jin agreed.
"Tell me, Jin", Kazuya requested and stared into his eyes. "Don't choose the path of redlining me from your life. Tell me and we'll figure something."
Jin sighed and dropped his hand from Kazuya's cheek. "There are things you don't know, pretty", he murmured. "Things I'll never be able to tell you about."
"We agreed on being honest, didn't we?" Kazuya slid onto Jin's lap and framed his face. "We fought so hard to get to be together, Jin. Don't throw it away now."
Jin lowered his look, shook his head. "I can't."
Kazuya just stared at him, his eyes hurt. "You said you love me. Act on it, damn it!"
Jin shut his eyes and wound his arms around Kazuya, pulling him in. "I am acting on it. So, stop arguing for once and do what I'm saying." His voice broke and was muffled against Kazuya's neck. "You're going to Osaka tomorrow. Period."
Kazuya swallowed thickly, just shaking his head, as he closed his arms around Jin's neck.
"You said Natsuki is most important, didn't you?" Jin knew exactly what buttons to press to get Kazuya to do what he wanted. "She won't be in danger, if you're leaving."
"You're mean", Kazuya whispered. "You know how to make me give in."
"I can't afford having you convince me otherwise", Jin mumbled. "Please, don't talk back. Don't argue. Just accept things as they are. Don't make it any harder for me than it is already."
Kazuya knew he had lost. There was no way he could make Jin change his mind. And, of course, Natsuki's safety was above everything else.
"I took the day off tomorrow", Jin murmured. "I'll stay with you tonight and I'll take you to the airport."
Kazuya swallowed thickly. " I don't even want to see you right now. I don't want to spend the night with you."
"With me and Natsuki. She doesn't know yet", Jin added. "I thought you would like to have some time to say goodbye."
"I wish you could trust me enough, so I wouldn't have to say goodbye at all." Kazuya pulled back and looked at Jin. "I worked so hard on making you mine."
Jin didn't lower his look this time. "I can't risk it, Kazuya."
It was Kazuya who broke their eye contact this time, as he shifted from Jin's lap. "I'll go upstairs and talk to Natsuki", he murmured. "After all, we can't tell her that you have enough of me and that's why I'll move away. I make up some story for her."
"Kazuya..."
"No, Jin", Kazuya said and threw him a glance from the door. "I've heard enough." He closed the door behind himself and got to the elevator that would take him directly up to the manager's suite.
Natsuki sat on the couch, her hair open, in her pyjamas already and she watched some programme on TV. As she saw him, she smiled.
"Kazu-nii", she said and waved him over.
Kazuya sat down next to her and gave her a long look.
Natsuki wasn't dumb, so she noticed something was off and turned to him, ignoring the TV. "Kazu-nii?"
"Can I have a hug?" He felt stupid for that, but it was the only thing that came to his mind. Natsuki didn't hesitate, she had her arms around his neck in an instant, her small body pressing close to his chest.
"Baby", Kazuya murmured and didn't notice that he used Jin's nickname for her. "We need to talk."
Kazuya got up and switched off the TV, Natsuki on his arms. He carried her to the bedroom and sat down with her.
"Listen", he said and kept her on his lap. "I'll be moving away."
She stared at him with huge eyes and with that look that only a six-year-old girl could give.
"I'll be going to Osaka to manage one of Papa's hotels there", Kazuya said. "So, I won't be able to come and see you anymore."
Tears built up in her eyes and Kazuya knew that he'd be on his knees once they'd flow over. "Don't cry, Natsuki." He took her small hand into his. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head. "Can't Papa and Natsuki come with Kazu-nii?"
Kazuya shook his head. "I am afraid that's impossible." He took a deep breath. "I'm leaving tomorrow. So, we'll have to say goodbye in the morning, before you'll go to preschool."
Natsuki gripped harder on Kazuya's hand. "I don't want to!"
Kazuya smiled. "Don't worry, baby", he murmured and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'll come and visit you from time to time."
She started to sob and Kazuya's heart dropped and the sight. He pulled her in and buried her face at his shoulder.
"Natsuki", he said then and withdrew a little. Slowly, he shoved the plain silver ring he had gotten from Jin from his finger and held it in front of her face. "Do you know what it means when a boy gives a ring to a girl?"
She sniffled and nodded, looking from the ring to Kazuya's face. "That he loves her and that he wants to marry her."
Kazuya smiled and took her hand, sliding the ring onto her finger. "I'll be back to keep my promise, okay? So, don't cry anymore."
She stared at the ring that was way too big for her tiny finger and beamed at Kazuya then. "Kazu-ni..."
He remembered Jin's words and kissed Natsuki's forehead instead of her lips. "I love you, little princess, so wait for me, will you?"
She nodded, nuzzled close and Kazuya leaned back against the cushions, holding her in her arms, gently stroking her hair, until she fell asleep. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against her hair. He was almost asleep, when he heard the doors of the lift slide open, so he kept an eye on the door to the bedroom, until Jin appeared.
He gave them a long look. "How is she?"
Kazuya didn't move. "She cried."
"I would have been surprised if she hadn't. She worships you." Jin slowly came over.
"Well, it's the same the other way around", Kazuya commented.
Jin sat down on the edge of the mattress and gently ran his knuckles over Natsuki's cheek. Then, he noticed the ring on her finger. He threw Kazuya a look, but didn't say anything.
He couldn't say anything, there was nothing more he could say and Kazuya didn't look like he actually wanted to hear any more of Jin.
So, Jin just shifted and sat next to Kazuya, their hips and shoulders touching. Kazuya glanced at him, before he tilted his head and put it to Jin's shoulder. Jin took it as a silent agreement and he put his arm around Kazuya, pulled him and Natsuki closer.
Kazuya closed his eyes and as the first tear strolled down his cheek, he was grateful that Jin still didn't say anything.
Instead, he took Kazuya's hand and laced their fingers, held on tight and Kazuya felt Jin's chest heaving beneath his head.
And a silent tear dripped to Kazuya's hair.
"Jin", Kazuya said, as he left the car, after a long drive in silence.
Natsuki had protested this morning, until Kazuya had accompanied her and Jin to preschool. There, she hadn't let go of Kazuya at all. She had been clinging to him until the last second and Kazuya didn't think he would be able to take anymore.
"You didn't ask me to argue", he said now, as Jin got out of the car, too and got Kazuya's luggage from the back of the car.
"Then, don't start now." Jin locked the car and turned.
Kazuya ignored Jin's answer. "Why are you doing this, if you don't even want it?"
"Kazuya, please", Jin murmured and stopped, without turning. "Who says I don't want this?"
Catching up, Kazuya stopped in front of Jin. "You, Jin", he said seriously. "You hate to break Natsuki's heart like this and you hate to hurt me. I know you do", he added, as Jin was about to say something. "And damn, I wasn't the only one crying tonight."
Jin closed his lips and sighed.
"You know, it's not too late yet. I would be stupid enough to forgive you once more", Kazuya murmured. "You really don't deserve it, but I'd do it."
"Could you stop it?" Jin let go of the suit case and pulled Kazuya in, claiming his lips in an angry kiss. "Can't you just stop?"
Kazuya's fingers curled into the fabric of Jin's leather jacket. "You're the one kissing me."
"Yes, because it's pretty hard to send away the guy I love." Jin kissed Kazuya again and this time, it was softer and longer.
"Jin, it's enough now, don't you think? You're not doing anyone good with this. You need me by your side." Kazuya's voice was gentle and just so reasonable, as he spoke quietly.
Jin wanted to believe it.
"Your flight is leaving in twenty minutes." He stepped back. "You have to check in."
"I won't."
"You will."
"Jin..."
"No", Jin said and picked up the suitcase he had dropped. "I made the decision and I'm not going to change my mind. You'll have to leave."
Kazuya let go of his breath and followed Jin. "Seriously, Jin. This is not making sense."
"It does make perfect sense." Jin checked in Kazuya's ticket and handed it to him then. "I am protecting you and I'm protecting Natsuki."
"You know", Kazuya said lowly, as he gripped the ticket. "If you send me away now - again - I am not coming back to you, Jin."
Jin felt is heart drop. He knew that it would have come to this words, he had known Kazuya would say them at some point; when he would be fed up with Jin.
"That's the whole idea behind this."
Kazuya nodded, his posture stiff. "Okay. I understand." He turned and got to the boarding gate.
Jin followed and when they reached it, Kazuya turned once more, taking the suitcase Jin had carried for him and gave him a long look.
"I can't believe you're doing this", he murmured.
Jin couldn't, either, but he put on a cold smile. "Take care, pretty."
"Spare me the arrogant mask", Kazuya answered. "Be honest at least now."
Jin stepped forward and his look was serious, as he reached out his hand and shortly, gently squeezed Kazuya's. "Take care, Kazuya."
Kazuya nodded. "You, too. And take care of Natsuki."
He turned and Jin let him walk off, waited for a few moments longer, before he saw the plane move. Jin turned and walked off, leaving the building.
He reached his car and as he saw someone leaning against it, he instantly knew who it was.
"I've done everything you wanted", Jin said. "He's gone, we broke up and he won't come back to me."
The person had a cold smile for him, before he turned and walked to his own car.
Jin knew it wasn't over with this - it had only just started.
He got into his car and stared after the car driving off.
"He's gone", he repeated and realised it completely for the first time - what it meant, what would happen from now on, that he was alone again.
Jin blankly stared up front and his heart ached, as he realised that he had not considered one important thing.
Kazuya was probably better off without Jin, but Jin didn't think he could move on without Kazuya.
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Oh, Jin... Bakanishi, what mess are you in?
I am sorry for my obsession with hands v.v
Thanks a lot for reading ♥