I F***ing Do!, Part 7

[bluestocking79]

Title: I F***ing Do
Team : Order of the Phoenix
Word Count: 100 x 11
Rating: PG-13 or so--bad language here. (Well, obviously.)
Challenge: Creative Cursing Challenge
Characters: Hermione/Severus, Jocasta Granger, Narcissa Malfoy, Molly Weasley, Minerva McGonagall
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they're J.K. Rowling's. Alas.
Notes: Seventh in the

Comments

[morethansirius]

WOW! Mrs. Snape sure knows how to make an entrance, or how to announce she's about to make one! The battle of the biddies was marvelous with some delicious in-character sniping amongst them. Nice to know that Severus is still the consummate Slytherin, using it to his advantage to swipe all the chocolate biscuits. And then there was:

Just as she was contemplating suicide-by-butter knife

Now that's desperation! I feel her pain. Severus has eaten all the chocolate biscuits and she has four bickering biddies all trying to plan a nightmare wedding for her. I hear Gretna Green is lovely this time of year. Even Vegas would provide less heat than that Howler!

[bluestocking79]

Thank you very much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the Battle of the Bickering Biddies. Eileen does indeed know how to make an entrance--where do you think her son picked up his penchant for drama? :D

Hermione is indeed feeling a bit desperate here, although I think Severus is pretty desperate, too, after that Howler. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they were thinking about a weekend away somewhere...

[duniazade]

Just as hilarious as the first time, and now, having recovered from the Howler shock, I'm able to savour the finer, delicious details like suicide-by-butter-knife or the squid retort.

Oh, and "Mister I'm-too-posh-for-my-parents"! I can just hear it. And I can see Severus, poor thing, cringing under the five female glares.

Wonderful work!

[bluestocking79]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad everybody seems to like the bit about the butter knife. Oddly enough, that was the first thing I wrote.

I wouldn't want to be a man in the cross-hairs of these five women. :D

[dickgloucester]

You know I love this, but on re-reading some of the details are jumping out with extra deliciousness:

the mess crammed into a magically-expanded cupboard; suicide by butter knife; Severus gobbling the chocolate biscuits; and the Howler was just priceless!

[bluestocking79]

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. The Howler was especially fun to write; it was an exercise in seeing how many insults could be packed into 100 words.

[treeson]

Just as she was contemplating suicide-by-butter knife as a means of escape

I know just how you feel, Hermione.

XDD I love this series. I can't wait for the next installment. How many in all are there?

<3 treeson

[bluestocking79]

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this installment and that you're also enjoying the series. There will be several more weeks of the story, if this all goes to plan, so hopefully you'll be able to enjoy it for a while. :D

I know just how you feel, Hermione.

Me too! I haven't planned a wedding for myself yet, but I've been in on too many planning sessions like this one not to have had this thought...

[camillo1978]

LOL! That meeting was awesome! And with Eileen turning up on the scene, it'll be absolute planning mayhem this week!

Fantastic contribution. Molly is perfect! (the cow).

Took us 10 minutes to wonder about elopement. I think Hermione is being remarkably patient ;-)

[bluestocking79]

Oh, thank you! I was all wibbly about this; wasn't sure if everybody would hate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the Battle of the Bickering Biddies!

Molly being a cow is pretty canon, so I had great fun trying to think up ways to work that in. I figured she couldn't resist making that dig about the dress color.

I agree: Hermione's being awfully patient! Especially considering all the things that have gone wrong already. (10 minutes, hmm? I hope your planning goes much more smoothly than Hermione's has.)