Deviations from the Norm -- Speak Low, If You Speak Love
Title: Deviations from the Norm
Chapter Three Part Four: Speak Low, If You Speak Love
dwtwprompt prompt: Writer's Choice: "Mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string - everything, absolutely everything!" -- Ianto Jones, Sleeper
Date Written: 5/16/08
Rating: R/M, just to be safe
Word Count: 3,139 (OMFG)
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, team, Doctor, Martha and Donna, OCs
Spoilers: TW Season 1 & 2, Doctor Who 01-04
Warnings: Nakked menstuff, sexual references, naughty language and sorta phone sex.
Author's Notes: Part four of five. Damn it. And I tried to make this one smut, I swear, but it wasn't writing. Title again from Shakespeare, and yes I'm a huge dork.
1/?: De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum Dicendum Est
2/?: It's Like Battle, But Harder
3.1/?: I'll Know It When I See It
3.2/?: Some Cupid Kills With Arrows, Some With Traps
3.3/?: Keeping Up With The Joneses
Ianto's mobile went off in his pocket. He jumped a little and fished it out, scowling when he realized that it was the ring tone he had assigned to the others in the team. He answered it without checking the call ID. "If it's a Nostrovite, you can deal with it yourself."
Jack's laughter rumbled against his ear, slightly distorted through the speakers. "No Nostrovites tonight, Ianto. I'm the only one wanting to bite into you."
The Welshman let out a chuckle, leaning against the counter. "And even if there were, you'd send the Doctor out to handle it?" he asked, paraphrasing Jack's words from earlier in the afternoon.
"Command politely," the Captain corrected, and Ianto could hear the grin, "but yes. He's at the Hub anyway, probably taking our things apart, or making notes in your Archives."
Ianto suppressed a groan. "It was a nice wedding present though," he reminded himself out loud.
"Doctor, are you sure you'll be all right?" Ianto asked, setting a mug of tea on the edge of Tosh's station.
"What? Oh, yes," the Time Lord replied, not taking his eyes off the screen as he worked. "This technology is amazing, about thirty years ahead of what it should, even with alien help."
"If you think this is amazing, you should have seen the things at One," the Welshman replied. "This is just an echo, although we didn't have the semi-alive computer system."
A ghost of pain flickered over the Doctor's face as he drank the tea. Ianto instantly regretted saying it -- he himself had only just managed to be able to speak of Torchwood One and Lisa without flinching.
Above them, Myfanwy screeched and the Doctor looked up. "Is that... is that a pterodactyl?"
Ianto grinned. "Yes. Would you like to go feed her?"
The Doctor was already halfway to the ladder up to her nest.
"It was, we owe him." Jack lapse into silence and Ianto heard the sound of wind against the speaker.
"Jack, where are you?"
"Heading home," came the answer. Ah, going back to the Hub then. Ianto tried to surpress a grin at the image of Jack and the Doctor going through technology and telling outrageous stories over this piece and that. "The question is, where are you, Mr. Jones? I was hoping to give you a good-night kiss, and I find that you've bailed on me."
Ianto gave a soft smile. "I'm at home myself," he replied. "Making coffee."
"Oh, you're a terrible tease, Ianto. Your mom wanted us to be all nice and traditional and stay away from each other the night before our wedding, and here you are, making me want to see you."
"I knew it," Ianto deadpanned. "You're marrying me for my coffee."
"And because you're a fabulous lover," Jack agreed.
"Okay, I'm hanging up on you now."
Jack laughed. "Oh, Ianto, my silly Ianto," he said softly, making an involuntary shiver travel down Ianto's spine. He could almost feel the warm brush of Jack's breath against his ear. "Seriously though, you left early. What happened?"
Ianto grinned. "I had to rescue a damsel in distress."
Somehow, somehow, he didn't know how, the others found a mixed strip club to have his and Jack's stag parties in ("Or just one stag party and one hen party," Owen had teased with a wink. "Although you two get to fight over which is which."). Two private rooms had been rented out -- one for Ianto and one for Jack -- right next to the other so the attendees could come and go as they pleased.
Ianto was going to kill Owen if he tried to get this written off as a work expense.
Scantily clad men and women in various stages of what could be called dress came and went. Every now and then one would grind and writhe in Ianto's lap, murmuring this or that, whatever they thought was sexy or would turn him on. From time to time he'd get turned on, the naked flesh and gyrations against his hips causing nature to take its course.
At first, it was fun. There was no point in denying it. Ianto was secure enough in his relationship with Jack to know that looking wasn't a crime. Hell, Jack was probably talking his strippers into letting him take a grope on the sly. And that was okay -- because in the end, Jack would come to him.
(and if Jack suggested that someone hot enough join them, he might seriously consider it. Although Jack, as it turned out, had quite the jealous streak. It was downright adorable, now that he thought about it)
So Ianto smiled. He made the required small talk, sliding the appropriate bills into g-strings. He drank the champagne that was poured into his glass. He waved at friends and (egads) family (thankfully Mam and Tad had taken the grandkids. talk about embarrassing) wandered from room to room.
He faked the smile as it got more and more tired. Two hours was really just too much.
He looked to his side to see Toshiko looking just as bored as he felt. She'd been given the honors of the first lap dance, Owen paying for a woman with more plastic on her than Barbie to grind against her. He'd protested that he had to get his fun somehow, now that he couldn't indulge himself in the pleasure of strippers.
Ianto had to admit, Tosh's face had been priceless. He'd been able to see the whites all around her irises.
He waved off the next stripper, saying he needed a quick trip to the loo, stopping by Tosh's chair. He leaned down so she could hear him over the throbbing music. "Want some more champagne?" he asked, giving her a smile.
She furrowed her eyebrows a little, looking at the bottle within easy arm's reach. Ianto's eyes cut to the door, holding out a hand. Her mouth made a little 'o' of realization.
"Yes, Ianto, I think I'd love another glass." She smiled and took his hand.
"Ah. I was wondering where Tosh had run to. I was thinking she'd found a sexy someone to take home with her." Jack laughed. "I guess she did!"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "We grabbed a bite to eat and I put her in a cab. The others will probably be hung over at our ceremony tomorrow."
"Then it's a good thing they're going to get smashed again at the reception! Get rid of those headaches and make tomorrow's twice as worse."
Ianto couldn't help it, he laughed a little. "So why did you leave?" he asked. "The night's still young yet."
"Got bored," Jack replied. Ianto could see him shrug. "They were fun, and nice, but they weren't you, y'know?"
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my boss?" Ianto teased, although inwardly he melted a little. Jack was so damn corny sometimes.
"I'm going to miss you tonight," Jack admitted. "What are you going to do with yourself tonight?"
He shrugged before he realized that Jack couldn't see the motion. "Don't know. Do some reading, maybe. I have some paperwork around here somewhere I could do."
"Ianto Jones, breaking Torchwood protocol?" Jack's teasing voice drifted into his ear. "As your superior, I'm going to have to punish you for that."
Ianto rolled his eyes. "Might attempt to sleep for a bit," he continued. "Although without the normal workout, I doubt I'll get tired enough to doze off."
He could practically hear Jack grin at that. "Oh yeah. You have to admit, it does make the night go faster."
"Tortuously fast," Ianto agreed. Just eight hours in bed with Jack was never, ever enough. He man was an addiction; Ianto knew he'd come crawling back forever.
He almost laughed at the analogy. "Hello, my name's Ianto and I'm a Jack addict." The support group would be enormous.
"Oh, if you only knew what I'd do to you," the Captain breathed.
"Then enlighten me."
There was a slight pause, and Ianto thought for a crazy second that they'd been disconnected. Even though it was just a phone call, he felt his stomach drop to his feet at the frantic thought. Oh yes, he had it bad for Jack Harkness.
"Well, first of all, you're probably standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. I bet you're wearing a pair of pajama pants, and one of my undershirts. Am I right?"
Ianto paused and looked himself up and down. "Did you wire my flat with hidden cameras?" he accused.
Jack's laugh made the speaker in his ear piece tremble. "No, Yan, I just know you. And you know how sexy I think you are when you're wearing my clothes."
He cleared his throat. "Well, let's see... I'd come into the kitchen. You'd pour me a cup of coffee and hold it out just out of my reach, so I'd have to come closer to you."
Ianto nodded, closing his eyes. That was a good idea, he'd have to try that.
"And I would, but I'd come closer, pressing up against you. It's what you wanted anyway, isn't it?"
"Mmm-hmm," Ianto agreed, smiling a little. He'd always been a tactile person, but whenever Jack touched him the sensations seemed to intensify. The Doctor had said it was a result of the immortality, the lingering Time Vortex energy in both of them recognizing the energy in the other, reacting to it.
"I'd press you up against the counter, maybe into the corner. So you couldn't run away." Like I'd want to, Ianto thought, but didn't say anything as Jack continued. "I might take a drink of the coffee. No, I definitely would. You get this look on your face, when you make coffee, when you watch me drink it; it's like a spiritual thing with you. You look just completely calm, totally focused. It's so unlike what you normally show everyone else."
Ianto felt himself blushing just a little. "You get a look about you too, Jack. When you drink my coffee."
"Oh?"
"Especially when you stare at me when you drink. Your eyes sparkle. I always know I've done a good job when I see your eyes twinkle like that, that I've -- pleased you." He swallowed thickly around the sudden lump in his throat. It was one thing to think it; it was quite another to say it out loud.
Jack's laughter reverberated in his ears, wrapping around him. "Oh, you are so damn kinky. That's another thing I love about you. You, Ianto Jones, 21st century human, still have the capacity to knock me flat out. And that is certainly saying something."
"So cariad," Ianto said, clearing his throat and taking a drink of his coffee. "What else would you do to me?"
"Ooh, I like the way this conversation is going." The trademark Jack Harkness leer was back in the voice in Ianto's ear. "Well, I'd drink the cup, set it aside. And because you looked just so beautiful, I'd just have to kiss you."
"You'd have to kiss me?" Ianto teased. "Or what?"
"I'd die," Jack replied. "It's a Rule, you know. If I don't kiss you at least once every two hours, I shrivel up."
"Well, we can't have that now," Ianto deadpanned, making a face as he finished off the nearly-cold dregs of his mug. He pushed himself away from the counter, pouring himself another cup. Much, much better.
"Nope. Besides, coffee-flavored Ianto is my favorite kind of Ianto."
"I thought post-orgamsic Ianto was your favorite kind of Ianto."
"My second-favorite kind of Ianto," Jack corrected. "Although if I could get you post-orgamsic and coffee flavored, wow. That would be amazing."
"Then what?" Ianto pressed on. "After the coffee-flavored me."
"Well, then I'd just fuck you."
And bam, just like that, Ianto was hard. It was impossible; Jack could say the most salacious, pornographic things, turn a double entendre like no one he'd ever met, whisper the sweetest and -- at the same time! -- the dirtiest things Ianto had ever heard... but hearing Jack say that, in his maddeningly casual way, was a complete and utter turn-on.
It still took him completely by surprise.
"O-oh?" Ianto stammered, images flashing through his mind. Him and Jack locked together in some sort of trashy novel cliche, bedsheets and pillows thrown this way and that.
"Well, that's the short of it." There was a dark, rich chuckle. "I can give you the longer version if you'd like."
Ianto opened his mouth to agree, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door. He swore softly in Welsh.
"What's wrong? Don't like my story?" Jack's voice sounded hurt.
"No, someone's at my door." Ianto sighed. "It's probably my twpsyn older brother, Bethan said she'd dump him with me if he got too drunk."
"I know that one," Jack announced. "Idiot."
"Oh, very good," Ianto said sarcastically, setting his cup aside as the knock came again, louder this time. "I should go."
"But I didn't finish my story," the Captain whined, and Ianto had to roll his eyes.
"Jack, it is bad manners to have phone sex while entertaining company. Even if it's your fiance, and the company is your drunken brother."
"Well, tell him to go away, you're busy."
Ianto laughed a little, unlocking his front door. "I'm not going to turn him out," he said as he swung the door open --
-- to find Jack Harkness leaning against the door frame, looking larger than life, and quite possibly a little tipsy, mobile pressed to his ear. He gave a grin. "Hey there, sexy Welshman wearing my clothes. Answer the door like that more from now on."
The younger man lowered the hand holding his own phone, blinking at his lover. "What are you -- "
"I told you. I was going home," Jack replied simply.
"Oh, twpsyn," Ianto said softly, reaching out and grabbing the lapels on Jack's coat and pulling him into the flat.
"Mam's gonna be pissed about this," Ianto said softly, sounding tired even to his own ears. He couldn't help but grin at Jack's resulting laugh. "She's very superstitious, she'll think you're jinxing our marriage."
Jack leaned over to kiss Ianto's chest, nipping gently at his skin. "You forget, my beautiful Ianto, that we are already married," he teased, moving up to take the pendant of the younger immortal's necklace between his teeth and tug gently to tease him.
"Please, cariad, explain that to her. Just let me be there when you do." Cool hands ran up and down his spine and Jack chuckled. "We need to get up."
"Oh, where's your sense of adventure?" Jack teased but he was already starting to move. Tile floor was fun for a spin or two, but it was hell on the spine.
"In bed," Ianto deadpanned.
Jack laughed and helped him to his feet. Ianto groaned softly, first as his body protested against its temporary accommodations, then in pleasure as Jack pulled him close, naked skin pressing against one another. He gave Jack a satisfied smile, watching through half-lidded eyes as Jack reached over and grabbed Ianto's now stone-cold coffee, taking a sip before leaning in to kiss the younger immortal. His mouth and tongue were cold in contrast to the warmth of Ianto's mouth.
"Yup. Post-orgasmic coffee-flavored Ianto. Definitely my favorite."
Ianto laughed and gave him a little shove.
Mike shushed Gwen, Tosh, Martha and Donna as they stood outside the door to Ianto's flat. "Ladies, please. If the hangover wasn't bad enough, we'll wake my brother up if you keep at it!"
The four girls covered their mouth and tried to smother their giggles. Ianto wasn't expecting them for another hour yet, and they were eagerly expecting turning him out of bed. Besides Mike, Tosh was the only one to ever see the archivist's flat, and the other three were dying from the curiosity.
The Welshman carefully slid his spare key into the door, quietly unlocking it and creeping through the darkened flat, switching on lights as they went. It had an odd modern-ish, mishmash sort of feel to it, all of the pieces not quite matchy-matchy but complimenting one another very nicely.
The five of them would look at each other from time to time, fingers pressed over their lips like schoolchildren walking down the halls. They tiptoed to Ianto's bedroom door, and Gwen had her hand on the doorknob when they heard the tale-tell sound of a vibrating mobile phone.
Four pairs of eyes snapped to Gwen, who frowned and hissed, "At least it was on silent," before retreating further down the hall to talk into her phone using a hushed voice.
Martha quietly counted to three on her fingers before swinging the door open. A patch of yellow light fell into the darkened bedroom and onto the bed, illuminating the room. Jack and Ianto were wrapped up in one another at the foot of the bed, Jack's head hanging off the side as Ianto kissed his neck. While the dark purple satin sheets covered their hips, it was clear from the way that the sheet was hanging that Jack had his legs hitched up around Ianto's middle.
"Oh my God!" Mike burst out, covering his eyes. The three girls gaped, partly stunned but mostly trying to stop themselves from drooling.
The two lovers' heads snapped up at the sound, a pretty, brilliant blush starting to form over the bridge of Ianto's nose.
"What d'you mean, you can't find Jack?" Gwen asked into the mobile, coming to peer into the bedroom and see what all the fuss was about. Her eyes widened in surprise. "F-found him," she managed after a moment, her voice about an octave higher than it had been the moment before.
"Would you mind?" Jack asked, giving the girls a smile. "We'll be just a moment."
Tosh snapped out of her reverie first. "Yes, of course," she said, grabbing Gwen's arm. "Come on."
Martha and Donna stayed still, staring at the scene, slack-jawed. Tosh had to come back, shut the door herself and shoo them down the hall.
Jack gave Ianto a devious grin and kissed the side of his mouth. "Told you they'd come in early."
Ianto laughed a little, tossing the sheets back and sitting back on his heels. He put his hands on his trouser-clad knees as he heard his brother call for a shot to erase the memory of seeing his baby brother in flagrante delicto. "You called it. I'm just glad they were like the proverbial bulls in a china shop so we had time to get in position."
"And they say I'm the one corrupting you, Mr. Jones," Jack teased, sitting up to kiss him properly.
ETA: Chapter three point five here
Chapter Three Part Four: Speak Low, If You Speak Love
dwtwprompt prompt: Writer's Choice: "Mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string - everything, absolutely everything!" -- Ianto Jones, Sleeper
Date Written: 5/16/08
Rating: R/M, just to be safe
Word Count: 3,139 (OMFG)
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, team, Doctor, Martha and Donna, OCs
Spoilers: TW Season 1 & 2, Doctor Who 01-04
Warnings: Nakked menstuff, sexual references, naughty language and sorta phone sex.
Author's Notes: Part four of five. Damn it. And I tried to make this one smut, I swear, but it wasn't writing. Title again from Shakespeare, and yes I'm a huge dork.
1/?: De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum Dicendum Est
2/?: It's Like Battle, But Harder
3.1/?: I'll Know It When I See It
3.2/?: Some Cupid Kills With Arrows, Some With Traps
3.3/?: Keeping Up With The Joneses
Ianto's mobile went off in his pocket. He jumped a little and fished it out, scowling when he realized that it was the ring tone he had assigned to the others in the team. He answered it without checking the call ID. "If it's a Nostrovite, you can deal with it yourself."
Jack's laughter rumbled against his ear, slightly distorted through the speakers. "No Nostrovites tonight, Ianto. I'm the only one wanting to bite into you."
The Welshman let out a chuckle, leaning against the counter. "And even if there were, you'd send the Doctor out to handle it?" he asked, paraphrasing Jack's words from earlier in the afternoon.
"Command politely," the Captain corrected, and Ianto could hear the grin, "but yes. He's at the Hub anyway, probably taking our things apart, or making notes in your Archives."
Ianto suppressed a groan. "It was a nice wedding present though," he reminded himself out loud.
"Doctor, are you sure you'll be all right?" Ianto asked, setting a mug of tea on the edge of Tosh's station.
"What? Oh, yes," the Time Lord replied, not taking his eyes off the screen as he worked. "This technology is amazing, about thirty years ahead of what it should, even with alien help."
"If you think this is amazing, you should have seen the things at One," the Welshman replied. "This is just an echo, although we didn't have the semi-alive computer system."
A ghost of pain flickered over the Doctor's face as he drank the tea. Ianto instantly regretted saying it -- he himself had only just managed to be able to speak of Torchwood One and Lisa without flinching.
Above them, Myfanwy screeched and the Doctor looked up. "Is that... is that a pterodactyl?"
Ianto grinned. "Yes. Would you like to go feed her?"
The Doctor was already halfway to the ladder up to her nest.
"It was, we owe him." Jack lapse into silence and Ianto heard the sound of wind against the speaker.
"Jack, where are you?"
"Heading home," came the answer. Ah, going back to the Hub then. Ianto tried to surpress a grin at the image of Jack and the Doctor going through technology and telling outrageous stories over this piece and that. "The question is, where are you, Mr. Jones? I was hoping to give you a good-night kiss, and I find that you've bailed on me."
Ianto gave a soft smile. "I'm at home myself," he replied. "Making coffee."
"Oh, you're a terrible tease, Ianto. Your mom wanted us to be all nice and traditional and stay away from each other the night before our wedding, and here you are, making me want to see you."
"I knew it," Ianto deadpanned. "You're marrying me for my coffee."
"And because you're a fabulous lover," Jack agreed.
"Okay, I'm hanging up on you now."
Jack laughed. "Oh, Ianto, my silly Ianto," he said softly, making an involuntary shiver travel down Ianto's spine. He could almost feel the warm brush of Jack's breath against his ear. "Seriously though, you left early. What happened?"
Ianto grinned. "I had to rescue a damsel in distress."
Somehow, somehow, he didn't know how, the others found a mixed strip club to have his and Jack's stag parties in ("Or just one stag party and one hen party," Owen had teased with a wink. "Although you two get to fight over which is which."). Two private rooms had been rented out -- one for Ianto and one for Jack -- right next to the other so the attendees could come and go as they pleased.
Ianto was going to kill Owen if he tried to get this written off as a work expense.
Scantily clad men and women in various stages of what could be called dress came and went. Every now and then one would grind and writhe in Ianto's lap, murmuring this or that, whatever they thought was sexy or would turn him on. From time to time he'd get turned on, the naked flesh and gyrations against his hips causing nature to take its course.
At first, it was fun. There was no point in denying it. Ianto was secure enough in his relationship with Jack to know that looking wasn't a crime. Hell, Jack was probably talking his strippers into letting him take a grope on the sly. And that was okay -- because in the end, Jack would come to him.
(and if Jack suggested that someone hot enough join them, he might seriously consider it. Although Jack, as it turned out, had quite the jealous streak. It was downright adorable, now that he thought about it)
So Ianto smiled. He made the required small talk, sliding the appropriate bills into g-strings. He drank the champagne that was poured into his glass. He waved at friends and (egads) family (thankfully Mam and Tad had taken the grandkids. talk about embarrassing) wandered from room to room.
He faked the smile as it got more and more tired. Two hours was really just too much.
He looked to his side to see Toshiko looking just as bored as he felt. She'd been given the honors of the first lap dance, Owen paying for a woman with more plastic on her than Barbie to grind against her. He'd protested that he had to get his fun somehow, now that he couldn't indulge himself in the pleasure of strippers.
Ianto had to admit, Tosh's face had been priceless. He'd been able to see the whites all around her irises.
He waved off the next stripper, saying he needed a quick trip to the loo, stopping by Tosh's chair. He leaned down so she could hear him over the throbbing music. "Want some more champagne?" he asked, giving her a smile.
She furrowed her eyebrows a little, looking at the bottle within easy arm's reach. Ianto's eyes cut to the door, holding out a hand. Her mouth made a little 'o' of realization.
"Yes, Ianto, I think I'd love another glass." She smiled and took his hand.
"Ah. I was wondering where Tosh had run to. I was thinking she'd found a sexy someone to take home with her." Jack laughed. "I guess she did!"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "We grabbed a bite to eat and I put her in a cab. The others will probably be hung over at our ceremony tomorrow."
"Then it's a good thing they're going to get smashed again at the reception! Get rid of those headaches and make tomorrow's twice as worse."
Ianto couldn't help it, he laughed a little. "So why did you leave?" he asked. "The night's still young yet."
"Got bored," Jack replied. Ianto could see him shrug. "They were fun, and nice, but they weren't you, y'know?"
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my boss?" Ianto teased, although inwardly he melted a little. Jack was so damn corny sometimes.
"I'm going to miss you tonight," Jack admitted. "What are you going to do with yourself tonight?"
He shrugged before he realized that Jack couldn't see the motion. "Don't know. Do some reading, maybe. I have some paperwork around here somewhere I could do."
"Ianto Jones, breaking Torchwood protocol?" Jack's teasing voice drifted into his ear. "As your superior, I'm going to have to punish you for that."
Ianto rolled his eyes. "Might attempt to sleep for a bit," he continued. "Although without the normal workout, I doubt I'll get tired enough to doze off."
He could practically hear Jack grin at that. "Oh yeah. You have to admit, it does make the night go faster."
"Tortuously fast," Ianto agreed. Just eight hours in bed with Jack was never, ever enough. He man was an addiction; Ianto knew he'd come crawling back forever.
He almost laughed at the analogy. "Hello, my name's Ianto and I'm a Jack addict." The support group would be enormous.
"Oh, if you only knew what I'd do to you," the Captain breathed.
"Then enlighten me."
There was a slight pause, and Ianto thought for a crazy second that they'd been disconnected. Even though it was just a phone call, he felt his stomach drop to his feet at the frantic thought. Oh yes, he had it bad for Jack Harkness.
"Well, first of all, you're probably standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. I bet you're wearing a pair of pajama pants, and one of my undershirts. Am I right?"
Ianto paused and looked himself up and down. "Did you wire my flat with hidden cameras?" he accused.
Jack's laugh made the speaker in his ear piece tremble. "No, Yan, I just know you. And you know how sexy I think you are when you're wearing my clothes."
He cleared his throat. "Well, let's see... I'd come into the kitchen. You'd pour me a cup of coffee and hold it out just out of my reach, so I'd have to come closer to you."
Ianto nodded, closing his eyes. That was a good idea, he'd have to try that.
"And I would, but I'd come closer, pressing up against you. It's what you wanted anyway, isn't it?"
"Mmm-hmm," Ianto agreed, smiling a little. He'd always been a tactile person, but whenever Jack touched him the sensations seemed to intensify. The Doctor had said it was a result of the immortality, the lingering Time Vortex energy in both of them recognizing the energy in the other, reacting to it.
"I'd press you up against the counter, maybe into the corner. So you couldn't run away." Like I'd want to, Ianto thought, but didn't say anything as Jack continued. "I might take a drink of the coffee. No, I definitely would. You get this look on your face, when you make coffee, when you watch me drink it; it's like a spiritual thing with you. You look just completely calm, totally focused. It's so unlike what you normally show everyone else."
Ianto felt himself blushing just a little. "You get a look about you too, Jack. When you drink my coffee."
"Oh?"
"Especially when you stare at me when you drink. Your eyes sparkle. I always know I've done a good job when I see your eyes twinkle like that, that I've -- pleased you." He swallowed thickly around the sudden lump in his throat. It was one thing to think it; it was quite another to say it out loud.
Jack's laughter reverberated in his ears, wrapping around him. "Oh, you are so damn kinky. That's another thing I love about you. You, Ianto Jones, 21st century human, still have the capacity to knock me flat out. And that is certainly saying something."
"So cariad," Ianto said, clearing his throat and taking a drink of his coffee. "What else would you do to me?"
"Ooh, I like the way this conversation is going." The trademark Jack Harkness leer was back in the voice in Ianto's ear. "Well, I'd drink the cup, set it aside. And because you looked just so beautiful, I'd just have to kiss you."
"You'd have to kiss me?" Ianto teased. "Or what?"
"I'd die," Jack replied. "It's a Rule, you know. If I don't kiss you at least once every two hours, I shrivel up."
"Well, we can't have that now," Ianto deadpanned, making a face as he finished off the nearly-cold dregs of his mug. He pushed himself away from the counter, pouring himself another cup. Much, much better.
"Nope. Besides, coffee-flavored Ianto is my favorite kind of Ianto."
"I thought post-orgamsic Ianto was your favorite kind of Ianto."
"My second-favorite kind of Ianto," Jack corrected. "Although if I could get you post-orgamsic and coffee flavored, wow. That would be amazing."
"Then what?" Ianto pressed on. "After the coffee-flavored me."
"Well, then I'd just fuck you."
And bam, just like that, Ianto was hard. It was impossible; Jack could say the most salacious, pornographic things, turn a double entendre like no one he'd ever met, whisper the sweetest and -- at the same time! -- the dirtiest things Ianto had ever heard... but hearing Jack say that, in his maddeningly casual way, was a complete and utter turn-on.
It still took him completely by surprise.
"O-oh?" Ianto stammered, images flashing through his mind. Him and Jack locked together in some sort of trashy novel cliche, bedsheets and pillows thrown this way and that.
"Well, that's the short of it." There was a dark, rich chuckle. "I can give you the longer version if you'd like."
Ianto opened his mouth to agree, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door. He swore softly in Welsh.
"What's wrong? Don't like my story?" Jack's voice sounded hurt.
"No, someone's at my door." Ianto sighed. "It's probably my twpsyn older brother, Bethan said she'd dump him with me if he got too drunk."
"I know that one," Jack announced. "Idiot."
"Oh, very good," Ianto said sarcastically, setting his cup aside as the knock came again, louder this time. "I should go."
"But I didn't finish my story," the Captain whined, and Ianto had to roll his eyes.
"Jack, it is bad manners to have phone sex while entertaining company. Even if it's your fiance, and the company is your drunken brother."
"Well, tell him to go away, you're busy."
Ianto laughed a little, unlocking his front door. "I'm not going to turn him out," he said as he swung the door open --
-- to find Jack Harkness leaning against the door frame, looking larger than life, and quite possibly a little tipsy, mobile pressed to his ear. He gave a grin. "Hey there, sexy Welshman wearing my clothes. Answer the door like that more from now on."
The younger man lowered the hand holding his own phone, blinking at his lover. "What are you -- "
"I told you. I was going home," Jack replied simply.
"Oh, twpsyn," Ianto said softly, reaching out and grabbing the lapels on Jack's coat and pulling him into the flat.
"Mam's gonna be pissed about this," Ianto said softly, sounding tired even to his own ears. He couldn't help but grin at Jack's resulting laugh. "She's very superstitious, she'll think you're jinxing our marriage."
Jack leaned over to kiss Ianto's chest, nipping gently at his skin. "You forget, my beautiful Ianto, that we are already married," he teased, moving up to take the pendant of the younger immortal's necklace between his teeth and tug gently to tease him.
"Please, cariad, explain that to her. Just let me be there when you do." Cool hands ran up and down his spine and Jack chuckled. "We need to get up."
"Oh, where's your sense of adventure?" Jack teased but he was already starting to move. Tile floor was fun for a spin or two, but it was hell on the spine.
"In bed," Ianto deadpanned.
Jack laughed and helped him to his feet. Ianto groaned softly, first as his body protested against its temporary accommodations, then in pleasure as Jack pulled him close, naked skin pressing against one another. He gave Jack a satisfied smile, watching through half-lidded eyes as Jack reached over and grabbed Ianto's now stone-cold coffee, taking a sip before leaning in to kiss the younger immortal. His mouth and tongue were cold in contrast to the warmth of Ianto's mouth.
"Yup. Post-orgasmic coffee-flavored Ianto. Definitely my favorite."
Ianto laughed and gave him a little shove.
Mike shushed Gwen, Tosh, Martha and Donna as they stood outside the door to Ianto's flat. "Ladies, please. If the hangover wasn't bad enough, we'll wake my brother up if you keep at it!"
The four girls covered their mouth and tried to smother their giggles. Ianto wasn't expecting them for another hour yet, and they were eagerly expecting turning him out of bed. Besides Mike, Tosh was the only one to ever see the archivist's flat, and the other three were dying from the curiosity.
The Welshman carefully slid his spare key into the door, quietly unlocking it and creeping through the darkened flat, switching on lights as they went. It had an odd modern-ish, mishmash sort of feel to it, all of the pieces not quite matchy-matchy but complimenting one another very nicely.
The five of them would look at each other from time to time, fingers pressed over their lips like schoolchildren walking down the halls. They tiptoed to Ianto's bedroom door, and Gwen had her hand on the doorknob when they heard the tale-tell sound of a vibrating mobile phone.
Four pairs of eyes snapped to Gwen, who frowned and hissed, "At least it was on silent," before retreating further down the hall to talk into her phone using a hushed voice.
Martha quietly counted to three on her fingers before swinging the door open. A patch of yellow light fell into the darkened bedroom and onto the bed, illuminating the room. Jack and Ianto were wrapped up in one another at the foot of the bed, Jack's head hanging off the side as Ianto kissed his neck. While the dark purple satin sheets covered their hips, it was clear from the way that the sheet was hanging that Jack had his legs hitched up around Ianto's middle.
"Oh my God!" Mike burst out, covering his eyes. The three girls gaped, partly stunned but mostly trying to stop themselves from drooling.
The two lovers' heads snapped up at the sound, a pretty, brilliant blush starting to form over the bridge of Ianto's nose.
"What d'you mean, you can't find Jack?" Gwen asked into the mobile, coming to peer into the bedroom and see what all the fuss was about. Her eyes widened in surprise. "F-found him," she managed after a moment, her voice about an octave higher than it had been the moment before.
"Would you mind?" Jack asked, giving the girls a smile. "We'll be just a moment."
Tosh snapped out of her reverie first. "Yes, of course," she said, grabbing Gwen's arm. "Come on."
Martha and Donna stayed still, staring at the scene, slack-jawed. Tosh had to come back, shut the door herself and shoo them down the hall.
Jack gave Ianto a devious grin and kissed the side of his mouth. "Told you they'd come in early."
Ianto laughed a little, tossing the sheets back and sitting back on his heels. He put his hands on his trouser-clad knees as he heard his brother call for a shot to erase the memory of seeing his baby brother in flagrante delicto. "You called it. I'm just glad they were like the proverbial bulls in a china shop so we had time to get in position."
"And they say I'm the one corrupting you, Mr. Jones," Jack teased, sitting up to kiss him properly.
ETA: Chapter three point five here