Silent Tribute

[gothrockrulz]

Written for Challenge #04: #04 Picture (Butterflies) over at writerverse.

Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original
Summary: A little girl marvels how a butterfly can even adorn the ground in death.

Comments

[et_tu_lj]

Very poetic. I love the descriptiveness. You use a lot of adjectives, which can sometimes slow down the pace, but they're so fresh and original that it keeps the prose moving nicely. I love the phrases coy grace and shyly blazing. The contrast between what's expected and what's there (ooh! you used oxymorons!) conjure butterflies perfectly.

I'm not quite sure what the first sentence of the second paragraph means, mostly because I don't know the word chaplet. When I looked it up online, neither of the definitions seemed quite right. Can you explain? I think you might just be using it poetically and since I didn't know the word in the first place, I didn't follow the association.

The choice of the word "stray" in the last sentence is interesting too. It works, but again it's an odd, unexpected choice which makes the encounter seem dreamlike and surreal. I like. :)

[gothrockrulz]

Thank you so much for your in-depth commentary! I usually don't write in a style so lush with description, but I've been reading a lot of Oscar Wilde lately, so I thought I'd try a new writing style inspired by his. :)

As for the use of chaplet, I don't know why, but from a young age I always assumed chaplet = goblet. But thanks to you and Wikipedia, now I know I'm wrong. LOL. Phonetically, chaplet suits the mood I wanted to convey better, but I think I'll change it to goblet so it will make sense.