I recently had the chance to see my subordinate assistant coffee bitch friend express grief at the death of another friend of his. It made me feel somewhat strange and queasy bad. I started wondering if he felt would feel as bad when if I died.
Obviously you're a huge loser, but if you really wanna know, there's only one way to find out! Fake your own death and stick a tape recorder in his pants. It never fails.
Some time ago I shot a man in the eye during a genocidal normal military encounter. Now I wish for his validation and advice. How should I go about getting it?
Saying sorry isn't really my thing, what with the evil and all, but if you really feel like you've gotta tell him, make sure to do it in a way that makes you look like less of a total wuss. Everybody knows that a song can capture your feelings better than words, so put yourself into it and tell them how you really feel. Not everyone can be an awesome lyricist like me, though, so if your rhymes suck, you can always go with the classics!
I've done some very bad things in my life, and worry about the example I'm setting for the people I work with who look up to me. How can I Do What Needs To Be Done without inspiring them to become the way I am?
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I recently had the chance to see my subordinate assistant coffee bitch friend express grief at the death of another friend of his. It made me feel somewhat strange and queasy bad. I started wondering if he felt would feel as bad when if I died.
Are these feelings normal?
Sincerely,
Jealous in Jail
Reply
Obviously you're a huge loser, but if you really wanna know, there's only one way to find out! Fake your own death and stick a tape recorder in his pants. It never fails.
-M
Reply
Reply
Some time ago I shot a man in the eye during a genocidal normal military encounter. Now I wish for his validation and advice. How should I go about getting it?
Sincerely,
Hopeful
Reply
Dear Whatever,
Shoot him in the hand.
Sincerely,
Not Abby
Reply
Is there a typical procedure to follow in order to apologize for blowing up someone's planet?
Sincerely,
Apologetic
Reply
Saying sorry isn't really my thing, what with the evil and all, but if you really feel like you've gotta tell him, make sure to do it in a way that makes you look like less of a total wuss. Everybody knows that a song can capture your feelings better than words, so put yourself into it and tell them how you really feel. Not everyone can be an awesome lyricist like me, though, so if your rhymes suck, you can always go with the classics!
-M
Reply
Will you be my friend?
Sincerely,
Lonely
Reply
Dear Weirdo,
Depends on how good your booze is.
Sincerely,
Not lonely
Reply
Ew no.
-M
Reply
I've done some very bad things in my life, and worry about the example I'm setting for the people I work with who look up to me. How can I Do What Needs To Be Done without inspiring them to become the way I am?
Sincerely,
Worried
Reply
Dear Guy,
Tell them not to do what you do after you're done.
Sincerely,
Still not Abby
Reply
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