translation from rei's pretentious marketing speak (they're in italics)

[gorthok]

Nylon/spandex blend fabric provides a compression fit that supports major muscle groups to increase performance
TIGHT AS FUCK
Fabric is moisture wicking and quick drying
SHIT'S NOT GONNA ABSORB SHIT
Fabric provides UPF 50+ sun protection, shielding skin from harmful ultraviolet rays
SHIT'S FABRIC. IT DOES THINGS THAT ANY FABRIC

Comments

[lishd]

hhahaah omg i did not know you had such a skill

[gorthok]

i'm like the google translate of schmancy<-to->hillbilly

[gorthok]

this is what they deserve for making closeout=$40

[wraincloud]

LOL OMFG! I spit my tea out laughing. I <3 your face off!

[gorthok]

\m/
looked like a decent shirt too
not 40-on-closeout-decent thou

[wraincloud]

You need to post this to the NW Urban Outdoor Get-A-Way forum on the FaceSpace.

[gorthok]

O_o
\m/