Rayne Fic: Reborn - The End
Title: The End
Series: Reborn
Author: nutmeg610
Rating: NC - 17 (more porn? GASP! scandalous!)
Summary: ...and every story has an ending.
Notes: This series deals with River and Jayne living by themselves off the ship. So I guess you could call that AU if you want. If you don't like that sort of thing, feel free to skip on by. :)
This one takes place after Question
Round Up Post
Glaring in the mirror, Jayne untied his bowtie for the umpteenth time and set about retying it. He wasn't one for fancified clothing. Stiff suits and tight shoes made him grit his teeth in annoyance, yet here he was, immaculately dressed in a suit, with ill-fitting shoes and a bowtie that would not lie flat and straight.
He heard the door downstairs open and Mattie call out, "Ya in here, Jayne?"
"Up here!" he yelled back, sighing in defeat and dropping his hands away from his tie as Mattie noisily bounded up the stairs. He stopped in the open doorway to the bathroom and leaned against the frame, smirking at his big brother through the mirror's reflection.
"What?" Jayne grumbled. He was on edge that morning and really wasn't in the mood for Mattie's jabs.
Mattie continued grinning and shrugged. "This is it. The day ya git tied down forever."
Jayne turned around and glared at him. "Make yerself useful an' tie this gorram thing fer me."
Mattie stepped forward and dropped the smart look, taking the bowtie in his hands and tying it. "She's real excited." he murmured, squinting his eyes to see before pausing to flick on the light.
"Yeah?" Jayne's mood lifted a bit. "What'd she say?"
Mattie finished the bow and stepped back. "Well, I'm not sure what most 'a it was, but she went on a lot at breakfast 'bout matrimony an' stuff. An' she was all smiles, an' was squirmin' in her seat."
Sighing with relief, Jayne turned back to the mirror and fiddled with his now perfect tie. "Good."
"You worried 'er sumthin'?"
"Nah, ain't worried. Jus' wanted ta be sure she ain't havin' second thoughts... 'er gettin' cold feet 'er nuthin'."
Mattie rolled his eyes and nudged Jayne aside so he could look in the mirror too. "Ya got cow dung fer brains? She's excited. 'Nuff said."
Jayne elbowed Mattie back and brushed at his jacket. "How much longer til this shindig starts?"
"'Bout an hour."
Jayne rubbed at his forehead. "I need a drink."
"Oh no. I'm under strict orders not ta let ya anywheres near a bottle 'er a loose woman today."
Jayne looked at his brother's reflection with startled eyes. "Did River say that?"
Mattie rolled his eyes and punched Jayne in the arm. "No, ya idjit. Ma said it."
Punching Mattie back, Jayne stomped out the bathroom and down the stairs. "What kinda man d'she take me fer? My own mother!"
"Aww, c'mon." Mattie said, following at a safe distance. "She weren't real serious-like. We know ya ain't gonna do nuthin' stupid."
Jayne snorted and gave Mattie a look as he went to through the kitchen cabinets. "Ruttin' hell! We done drank it all last night!"
Snickering, Mattie began collecting the empty bottles and putting them in the trash. "That was one hell of a party. Was surprised when I walked in jus' now that nobody was still passed out on the floor."
"Nah, they all cleared out early. Speakin' of, when'd you leave?"
"It was still dark out. Wasn't gonna be all cozy here on the floor. I needed my own bed."
As Mattie spoke, Jayne opened the kitchen door and looked out towards his mother's house, where chairs were being set up outside and an arbor set up in front of them. "Think we can sneak up early? Else I'm gonna go as crazy as my girl."
"I dunno, Ma might pitch a fit. Ev'rythin's gotta go accordin' to the 'schedule.'" Mattie emphasized the final word with air quotes.
"Hell, I ain't gonna try to sneak a peek 'a the bride 'er nuthin', jus' wanna do sumthin' so's I don't feel useless."
"Well, I guess as long as we stay outside she can't make too much of a fuss." Mattie shrugged. "Let's head up."
***********************************
River slowly examined her appearance in the bedroom mirror. She turned to the side, then looked over her shoulder, then faced forward again. Her white dress was a hand-me-down from Mrs. Cobb herself, altered a bit to fit River's slender, taller frame. The dress was simple, going to mid-calf and made of a gauzy material that hugged her body gently. She wore a tiny short-sleeved jacket with a Mandarin collar on top, with a delicate beaded pattern running across it. On her feet were white shoes, a size too small. She couldn't wait to take them off at the reception.
Last night had been the first night in several months that she'd slept without Jayne to keep her nightmares away. Both were more than a little uncomfortable with that, but Mrs. Cobb had assured them both that she'd comfort River if she had a nightmare. And that night, the ghosts had come. But it wasn't like before, when they'd reach out to grab her, and take her with them. This was different. River thought back, remembering how the bloodied ghost of Simon had stepped forward, but instead of saying she had to go with them, as he always did, he said something different.
We wanted you to come with us, so we could take care of you, but now we know that he'll do a good job. He loves you, and we trust him to keep you safe. Behind Simon, the other bloodied and battered crew members of Serenity nodded their agreement.
Mal added, We won't come bother ya anymore, Lil' Albatross. We jus' wanted ta look after ya, but Jayne's been doin' a right fine job 'a it.
Have a shiny life together, said Kaylee. Never go ta bed angry, an' remember ta say 'I love ya' often.
Agree to disagree if there's sumthin' ya can't stop arguin' 'bout. An' say 'I love you' ev'ryday, Zoe announced, nodding at Kaylee in agreement of her last piece of advice.
We love you, River, Inara's gentle voice added. Be happy, and know that we'll be looking down on you.
Goodbye, mei-mei. We'll meet again someday, Simon finished, and just like that, the dream had ended and River had awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside her window. She couldn't help but wonder if the ghosts were real, or just a figment of her subconscious, but either way, she knew she wouldn't have the nightmares anymore.
Now she could feel Jayne's mother approaching before she even heard her coming up the stairs. Quickly wiping away the tear that was forming, she turned expectantly towards to door, which Mrs. Cobb knocked on a moment later.
"Qing jin." Mrs. Cobb entered and smiled widely at her soon to be daughter-in-law.
"Why, if you don't look like a shinin' star! Oh, the dress fits perfectly!"
River beamed and twirled in front of the mirror.
"Ya sure ya don't want me ta put yer hair up, hun? Wouldn't be no trouble."
Touching her hair faintly, River shook her head no. It had been problematic brushing her own hair that morning. Jayne knew how to do it just right; getting close to her scars so she had no tangles, but never actually touching them.
"Well, I brought ya sumthin'... ya don't hafta put it in yer hair though." Coming to her side, Mrs. Cobb held out a white flower. "I thought it'd look nice behind your ear."
River nodded. "I acquiesce to your assumption, Mrs. Cobb." Off of her confused look, River smiled and plucked the flower from her fingers. "Apologies. I meant 'yes.'" She tucked the flower behind her left ear and grinned. "Perfect."
Mrs. Cobb straightened River's jacket a bit and handed her a bouquet of white flowers tied together with a blue ribbon. "About that, dear. You can call me Ma now, iffen ya want to. But don't feel like ya gotta, ok?" Even though her words suggested that River not feel pressured into called her 'Ma,' River could sense Mrs. Cobb's hopefulness that she would.
All at once, the importance of the day, the sadness she felt at certain people missing out on her wedding, the hopefulness of Mrs. Cobb, and the nervousness of Jayne, which she had felt all morning, hit her full force. Letting out a sob, River buried her head against the shorter women's shoulder.
Her eyes widening, Mrs. Cobb wrapped her arms around the sobbing bride. "Oh, River! What is it? I shouldn't 'a pressured ya into callin' me--"
"No!" River cried out, pulling her head up to look at Jayne's mother with watery eyes. "I-I would b-be honored to, I just, I-- I'm sorry..."
"Shhh, it's ok, dear. It's yer day. Yer allowed to cry all ya want."
"Ma?" River questioned softly, feeling Mrs. Cobb's heart swell happily. "I am nervous. I feel dizzy, and I have sweaty palms, and I fear I will not be a sufficient wife for your son."
"What?" Mrs. Cobb pulled back and held River at arm's length. "Why ya sayin' that fer?"
Her lip quivering, River answered, "He takes care of me. He does everything for me... but I feel I do little in return."
"Aww, hun, don't feel that way!" Mrs. Cobb admonished gently. "Ya love him, dontcha?"
Surprised by the question, River nodded frantically. "Yes, yes I do, but he--"
"Then that's all he needs. Sure, ya cook an' clean an' do all kinds 'a helpful stuff ta take care 'a my Jayne, an' he does all kinds 'a stuff ta take care 'a you, but all ya really need ta do is love each other. Ya know what I mean?"
Wiping her eyes, River nodded again. "So I am good enough for him?"
"More'n good, dear. Yer jus' what he needs. Yer perfect for each other."
River giggled and wiped her face, sniffling back her unshed tears. "Thank you, Ma."
"Hello?" a voice called from downstairs.
"Jonas? That you?" Mrs. Cobb yelled back.
"In the flesh." the man's voice answered jovially, and they could hear him coming up the stairs. "I'm lookin' fer a girl ta give away. Got any spare girls up here?"
Clicking her tongue, Mrs. Cobb smiled at River. "Think there's one up here. Come 'n see."
Stopping at the doorway, Jonas whistled. "Boy, my nephew's one lucky fella."
Blushing slightly, River clutched her bouquet tighter. "Time to start." she said excitedly.
"Sure is." Jonas replied, holding out his elbow. "Let's gitcha hitched."
***********************************
If Jayne hadn't been fearful of his mother's wrath, he would have taken his stupid bowtie off ages ago. As it was, he was nervously pulling at it while Mattie elbowed him in the side to make him stop. They stood with the preacher under the flower covered arbor, awaiting River so they could start.
This was it. Soon Jayne would be a married man. Since becoming a merc, he'd never pictured himself getting married, especially not to a woman half his age. He never thought he'd settle down to a quiet life that didn't involved stealing stuff and shooting at people. He abandoned his tie to put a hand into his pants pocket and pinch himself on the thigh. Nope. Definitely not a very elaborate dream. This was really happening.
One of Mattie's friends started playing the guitar, and all the guests quieted down as Mrs. Cobb walked down the aisle holding a bouquet. She was already crying, but she threw her son a wink as she reached the end. Then River appeared at the far end of the aisle on Jonas' arm. Jayne noticed that she looked a bit nervous and he again couldn't help but wonder if she was having second thoughts, but then her eyes met his and she smiled one of the most beautiful smiles to ever grace her face since he had known her. The wind completely knocked out of him, he couldn't stare at anything but her face as she walked up to his side.
Jonas released River and snuck in a kiss on her cheek, chuckling when Jayne glared at him. Looking back at River, Jayne finally paid attention to what she was wearing, and he couldn't stop the soft exhalation of "Wow," from passing his lips.
She ducked her head, then lifted it back up to steadily meet his eyes, just as she had been dreaming about for so long, and whispered, "You too."
The guy playing the guitar finally reached the end of the song and the preacher said, "Please be seated."
Jayne couldn't have told anyone what words he said during the vows, but he knew that he meant every one of them. River had decided early on in the wedding planning that they should recite the standard vows and not their own, because she feared she'd grow flustered with so many peoples' thoughts whispering in her mind and she'd launch into a scientific thesis that sounded nothing like a vow from the heart.
They each repeated the preacher's words, exchanged rings, and said "I will," when prompted, but all Jayne knew was that his palms were sweating all over River's and he felt bad about it. All River knew was that this official ceremony to bind them wasn't as all-important as she thought it was, because when he held her small hands in his, she knew they were already bound together, and had been that way since their first kiss.
"...I now proclaim you to be husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."
Jayne jolted out of his daze as River's face lit up like a star gone supernova. Letting out a squeal, she dropped her bouquet and threw both arms around his neck. He hoisted her up to press her against his chest and they shared their first kiss as a married couple. Everyone around them was clapping and cheering, but Jayne and River could only feel and hear the pounding of each other's hearts as their lips glided tenderly across the other's.
***********************************
"I have procured you a cracker with cheese." River said, holding the aforementioned snack out to her new husband. Bending down on the dancefloor, Jayne opened his mouth and gobbled it up, making her let out a squeak when he made it look like he was going to take her fingers with it.
Mrs. Cobb, who had been dancing with Jayne, laughed heartily and said, "These old bones need a rest. Think ya can handle this fella?" She patted her son on the arm. "He's a toe-stepper."
"Ma..." Jayne whined after he swallowed, but River giggled.
"He has always been most considerate of my toes." She looked down and wiggled her bare toes happily against the hard-packed dirt that served as a dancefloor.
Jayne pulled her into his arms and led them into the next dance. "Well, I ain't never danced with ya when ya ain't had shoes on. Don't come cryin' ta me if I bust sumthin'."
Rolling her eyes, she pressed her head to his chest and closed her eyes. They danced in silence as their guests danced and chattered around them.
"I am very thankful to your uncle for walking me down the aisle." she said suddenly, gazing up at Jayne. "I wish it could have been Simon, but--" she faltered. "I-I know he would be happy for me today."
Swallowing hard, Jayne tried to force a smile on his face. "Ya think?" His voice was filled with emotion, and River pressed her lips tightly together to keep them from trembling as she nodded.
"He always wanted what was best for me. You are what is best for me."
Jayne squeezed her tighter and remained silent, but she felt his pride at being able to accomplish something like being what she needed.
***********************************
The all-terrain mule stopped in front of their house and Jayne gently nudged River, who had fallen asleep on his lap.
"We're home, Moonbeam."
"Mmm..."
Jonas chuckled as he looked back at the wagon. "She's all tuckered out."
"Yeah. Thanks fer the lift."
"No problem. See ya tomorrow."
Jayne lifted River into his arms as he stood. "Night."
Jonas drove away into the darkness, and Jayne wondered how he was going to unlock the door with a nearly unconscious girl in his arms.
"C'mon, bao bei, gotta walk ta the door."
"Nuuuuh uhhh... carries... threshold... tra-di-tion..." she mumbled, half-asleep.
"I jus' need ta set ya down ta unlock the door. I'll carry ya upstairs." Despite her mumbled protests, he set her on her feet, keeping one arm around her as he opened the door. He reached his hand around and locked it from the inside so he could just kick it shut once he walked in, before scooping her up again.
"Goin' in now, as a married couple..." Jayne said, pausing at the threshold. "It's kinda a big deal with womenfolk. Dontcha wanna open them pretty eyes?"
Moaning, River forced her eyes open briefly as Jayne crossed the threshold inside and kicked the door closed.
"Home..." she whispered, before her eyelids drooped shut again.
"Yup, we're home." he said softly, carrying her up to bed and laying her down.
He stood up straight and looked at her all curled up and asleep. Certain things were supposed to happen on a couple's wedding night, but he wasn't going to poke her awake and demand it.
Shaking his head, he kicked off his shoes and started getting out of the uncomfortable clothes. He stripped down to his boxers and looked back to River. She would probably be upset if she awoke in the morning to find she'd wrinkled his mother's wedding dress. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he carefully lifted her up against his chest and slid the jacket down her arms.
Her lips moved against his chest as she mumbled something incoherant. Chuckling, his fingers fumbled to unbutton her dress, then peeled the fabric down to her waist, before he pressed a kiss to her neck and gently laid her back down, pulling the dress down her legs.
"Wedding night... ac-tivit-ies." she mumbled.
Jayne laid the dress and jacket out on the back of a chair, over his suit jacket so it wouldn't wrinkle. He knew his mother would throw a fit if he didn't take care of the fancy clothes.
"Nah, was jus' gonna git a nightgown fer ya." He moved to the dresser, but River's voice stopped him.
"Jayne?" She sounded upset, and he came back to her side, sitting beside her. "You don't want to make love to me?"
"Aww, it ain't that!" he answered, sliding his hand along her smooth stomach, covered by her slip. "But yer jus' 'bout asleep an' it ain't gonna help my ego none iffen ya fall asleep while we're doin' it."
"But I want to..." she said, then suddenly lifted her hand and slapped herself across the face.
"Jesus! What the gui you doin'?!" Jayne exclaimed before she slapped the other side of her face.
"Trying to wake up, silly." she said, and in fact, she did sound a bit more awake, though still groggy. She started pulling on her hair before Jayne stopped her.
"Ok, ok, I git it. Ya awake 'nuff now?"
"Mmm hmm." she answered, holding her arms out to him. "Would like to be sexually intimate with you now."
Jayne nudged her to scoot over, then lay down beside her. She curled up against him the way she always did when he started touching her.
"So, yer really ready, right?" Jayne asked cautiously.
"Yes." she whispered, then looked up and found his eyes in the dim moonlight. "I've read all about this subject and I wanted to let you know that it is common for many women to not orgasm their first time due to the pain, so you do not have to wait for me to, before you release your semen, alright?"
Jayne blinked and took a moment to digest that. "Well, that's a hell of a note." he said finally.
"I have accepted the fact." she replied evenly.
Shaking his head, Jayne rolled on top of her, propped up on his elbows. "Bao bei, I'm gonna have ya screamin' my name 'fore we even git ta the sex, don't you worry none." He flashed her a grin before he kissed her eagerly.
In no time at all, Jayne had her out of her slip, bra, and undies. River shivered from the draft, but suddenly his warm body was atop hers again. His warmth was making her a little sleepy, but she knew she wouldn't drift off. Giving him a lazy smile as he slid down her body, she gasped when he parted her thighs and the cool air hit them.
"Ready, hun?"
"Mmm hmmm." she hummed, running her fingers through his hair.
He blew warm breath across her sensitive center and her hips jerked up at the feeling. Then he slowly ran his tongue along the inside of her legs, pausing to exhale another hot breath. River wriggled against the mattress, yanking on his hair.
"Jayne...you're teasing..."
He laughed, and the deep rumble caused a throb between her legs.
"Please..."
"Don't gotta beg, baby." he mumbled, before he wet his lips and kissed her inner thigh, quickly moving over to her soft folds, which made her cry out softly in pleasure. His tongue licked inbetween them and, in response, her legs locked around his neck. She could feel him chuckle against her skin before his tongue made slow circles against her. Somehow he got his fingers past her tightly clenched legs and slipped one into her while his tongue slid up to caress her clit.
Her head pushed back into the pillow as she arched her back, moaning softly. He added a second finger and she saw white stars before her eyes. Twisting his fingers, he gently sucked on her clit, watching her face as she panted.
"A-Almost..." she whispered. He pumped his fingers faster and flicked his tongue back and forth across her sensitive nerves. "So close...!" she gasped, squeezing her legs around him even tighter, enough to give him a neck ache.
He watched her hang onto the edge so he slid his fingers against her front wall, across her G-spot, and sucked her clit into his mouth. Letting out a sharp cry, her hips bucked and her inner walls clenched tightly to his fingers as she fell apart.
"JAYNE...!"
He continued to slide his tongue across her as she floated down from her orgasm. She released the near-choke hold she had on his neck, and let her legs fall to the mattress as Jayne quickly pulled his boxers off.
"Oh Jayne..." she whispered. Now she was very sleepy.
He crawled up her body and nudged her legs apart. "Feelin' good?" he asked. She could feel his hard length pressing against her entrance, and she opened her eyes in a haze, her hips automatically rocking up.
"Mmm, I do." she replied, hearing his breath catch in his throat.
"Oh God, bao bei, I can't wait much longer."
Looking trustingly into his eyes, River nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, anticipating the pain. "I love you."
She could feel his stomach quivering against hers as he held onto the last bit of restraint he had. "I love ya." he answered, before he thrust into her.
River let out a startled cry of pain as her nails dug onto his back. She pressed her mouth against his neck to keep such words as Ow, ow, OW! Get out! from passing her lips.
Jayne held still, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the biting sting of her nails. If she was inflicting that much pain on him, how much was he causing her?
"I-I'm sorry." he hissed out as her nails dug deeper. His voice rumbling and vibrating against her made the pain worse. "I'm jus' gonna stay still til yer ready, dong ma?"
She could only whimper alongside his neck as an answer.
"Remember ya gotta relax yer muscles." he whispered gently. "Yer clenched so gorram tight--"
"'Cause it hurts!" she cried out, sniffling.
Jayne swallowed hard. "I know. Hey, look at me."
She pulled her face away from his neck and settled back on the pillow. Jayne brushed his lips over hers, barely touching her, then kissed her a little deeper. He rotated his head and ever so softly kissed her again. River knew what he was doing, because she could sense it in his mind. But it was a good plan. He wanted her to focus on his kisses, and not what was happening below her waist.
Parting her lips slowly, River deepened their sensual kisses, letting her tongue tease his teeth. Her grip on his back loosened, and she slid her hands up to bury them in his hair. She could feel strain, and the beginnings of pain, coming from his mind.
"Baby?" he whispered shakily.
"I'm alright." she answered, licking his lips. "Go ahead."
He pressed his mouth firmly down over hers, kissing her passionately as he slid back, then jerked forward again, pushing into her tight body further than before. She let out a cry into his mouth, but she tugged on his hair and bit his lip so he could keep going.
He moved as gently as he could, wishing there was some way he could help her feel what he was feeling. She briefly pulled her mouth from his, panting, "Already took care of me. Your turn." before her mouth sought out his. Taking that as a sign that she'd be alright, he moved faster, thrusting deeper, and when her hips began thrusting back, he groaned loudly.
Lifted his head, he asked, "It still hurt?"
"Not... like... before." she whispered between gasps for breath, eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Just... a little. Mostly feels... like pressure now."
She arched her back and Jayne brought his mouth down to her exposed neck, sucking against her and causing mewls and whimpers to pass her lips. Her hands moved back down to his shoulder blades, where she rubbed soothing circles across his sweaty skin. She could tell he was close to his finish, and she urged him on, rocking her hips and letting out soft whimpers.
Jayne kissed her again, and the intensity of the love she felt pour into her from his mind and his heart made her forget everything in the 'verse for a moment until he came with a deep groan. His tired body dropped down onto hers, but before she could even lose her breath, he rolled onto his side, panting quickly.
Reaching out, he caressed her skin, but as he passed over her stomach, she whimpered and her muscles locked. He moved his hand up to cup her face, turning it towards him. He could feel her shaking under the palm of his hand.
"How ya doin'?"
She smiled. "Sore, but I feel good too. The shaking is involuntary." Rolling towards him, she pillowed her head on his arm and finger-combed the sweaty hair on his chest. "How do you feel?"
"Great." he murmured. "Feel bad 'bout hurtin' ya though."
Shaking her head faintly, she replied with, "Couldn't be helped. Differences in size ratios will ultimately lead to pain, until my body--" She paused to let out a yawn. "Learns to adapt."
Jayne leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Hope that don't take too long."
Her eyes were closed, and he thought maybe she had already dropped off again, so he closed his eyes too, lazily drawing his hand up and down her spine.
"Jayne?" she whispered, pulling him from sleep's hold.
"Hmm?" When she didn't say anything right away, he opened his eyes. "What?"
Still, she paused for a moment before she drew enough courage to speak. "Do you think if the crash had never happened, that you and I would still have come together?"
Jayne frowned. "What kinda question is that?"
"I wonder if we would have fallen in love, if we weren't forced together by circumstances." she whispered, looking up at him sadly.
Looking away, Jayne muttered, "Doubt it. Mal woulda killed me if I'd touched ya. The rest of 'em too."
"And you wouldn't have seen me as you do now."
"Yeah."
"So we never would have..." she mumbled quietly.
Jayne tugged her snug along his side. "It ain't a fair question ta be thinkin' on."
"Why not?"
"That's like askin' what would I rather have: you bein' mine; 'er the rest 'a them alive again, but not have you as mine. Ain't fair."
River's eyes widened and she pushed her fingers to her lips for a moment before lowering them to her chin. "I'm sorry! It's not fair. I didn't mean to--"
"Shhh..." he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Don't think either 'a us could answer that question." He pressed another kiss to her cheek, then another to her lips as she moved her fingers away and back to his chest.
"I love you." River said. "And that's all that matters now. Your mother said so."
Jayne chuckled. "She said that ta me too. Get some sleep."
"You have to tell me you love me first; they said so."
"They who?" Jayne said, before letting out a yawn.
"The ghosts. They won't be back again. They know you'll take care of me."
"Well that's good ta hear." he said, already drifting off. "I love ya."
"Love you more." River teased.
"Nuh uh." he mumbled.
"Mmm hmm."
"Nuh uh."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Nope."
"Yup."
"No."
"Yes."
"Uh uh."
"Yeah huh."
She waited for his response but all she heard was his even breathing.
"I win." she whispered against his chest, closing her eyes and listening to her husband's heartbeat.
THE END
Previous: Goodbye
Series: Reborn
Author: nutmeg610
Rating: NC - 17 (more porn? GASP! scandalous!)
Summary: ...and every story has an ending.
Notes: This series deals with River and Jayne living by themselves off the ship. So I guess you could call that AU if you want. If you don't like that sort of thing, feel free to skip on by. :)
This one takes place after Question
Round Up Post
Glaring in the mirror, Jayne untied his bowtie for the umpteenth time and set about retying it. He wasn't one for fancified clothing. Stiff suits and tight shoes made him grit his teeth in annoyance, yet here he was, immaculately dressed in a suit, with ill-fitting shoes and a bowtie that would not lie flat and straight.
He heard the door downstairs open and Mattie call out, "Ya in here, Jayne?"
"Up here!" he yelled back, sighing in defeat and dropping his hands away from his tie as Mattie noisily bounded up the stairs. He stopped in the open doorway to the bathroom and leaned against the frame, smirking at his big brother through the mirror's reflection.
"What?" Jayne grumbled. He was on edge that morning and really wasn't in the mood for Mattie's jabs.
Mattie continued grinning and shrugged. "This is it. The day ya git tied down forever."
Jayne turned around and glared at him. "Make yerself useful an' tie this gorram thing fer me."
Mattie stepped forward and dropped the smart look, taking the bowtie in his hands and tying it. "She's real excited." he murmured, squinting his eyes to see before pausing to flick on the light.
"Yeah?" Jayne's mood lifted a bit. "What'd she say?"
Mattie finished the bow and stepped back. "Well, I'm not sure what most 'a it was, but she went on a lot at breakfast 'bout matrimony an' stuff. An' she was all smiles, an' was squirmin' in her seat."
Sighing with relief, Jayne turned back to the mirror and fiddled with his now perfect tie. "Good."
"You worried 'er sumthin'?"
"Nah, ain't worried. Jus' wanted ta be sure she ain't havin' second thoughts... 'er gettin' cold feet 'er nuthin'."
Mattie rolled his eyes and nudged Jayne aside so he could look in the mirror too. "Ya got cow dung fer brains? She's excited. 'Nuff said."
Jayne elbowed Mattie back and brushed at his jacket. "How much longer til this shindig starts?"
"'Bout an hour."
Jayne rubbed at his forehead. "I need a drink."
"Oh no. I'm under strict orders not ta let ya anywheres near a bottle 'er a loose woman today."
Jayne looked at his brother's reflection with startled eyes. "Did River say that?"
Mattie rolled his eyes and punched Jayne in the arm. "No, ya idjit. Ma said it."
Punching Mattie back, Jayne stomped out the bathroom and down the stairs. "What kinda man d'she take me fer? My own mother!"
"Aww, c'mon." Mattie said, following at a safe distance. "She weren't real serious-like. We know ya ain't gonna do nuthin' stupid."
Jayne snorted and gave Mattie a look as he went to through the kitchen cabinets. "Ruttin' hell! We done drank it all last night!"
Snickering, Mattie began collecting the empty bottles and putting them in the trash. "That was one hell of a party. Was surprised when I walked in jus' now that nobody was still passed out on the floor."
"Nah, they all cleared out early. Speakin' of, when'd you leave?"
"It was still dark out. Wasn't gonna be all cozy here on the floor. I needed my own bed."
As Mattie spoke, Jayne opened the kitchen door and looked out towards his mother's house, where chairs were being set up outside and an arbor set up in front of them. "Think we can sneak up early? Else I'm gonna go as crazy as my girl."
"I dunno, Ma might pitch a fit. Ev'rythin's gotta go accordin' to the 'schedule.'" Mattie emphasized the final word with air quotes.
"Hell, I ain't gonna try to sneak a peek 'a the bride 'er nuthin', jus' wanna do sumthin' so's I don't feel useless."
"Well, I guess as long as we stay outside she can't make too much of a fuss." Mattie shrugged. "Let's head up."
***********************************
River slowly examined her appearance in the bedroom mirror. She turned to the side, then looked over her shoulder, then faced forward again. Her white dress was a hand-me-down from Mrs. Cobb herself, altered a bit to fit River's slender, taller frame. The dress was simple, going to mid-calf and made of a gauzy material that hugged her body gently. She wore a tiny short-sleeved jacket with a Mandarin collar on top, with a delicate beaded pattern running across it. On her feet were white shoes, a size too small. She couldn't wait to take them off at the reception.
Last night had been the first night in several months that she'd slept without Jayne to keep her nightmares away. Both were more than a little uncomfortable with that, but Mrs. Cobb had assured them both that she'd comfort River if she had a nightmare. And that night, the ghosts had come. But it wasn't like before, when they'd reach out to grab her, and take her with them. This was different. River thought back, remembering how the bloodied ghost of Simon had stepped forward, but instead of saying she had to go with them, as he always did, he said something different.
We wanted you to come with us, so we could take care of you, but now we know that he'll do a good job. He loves you, and we trust him to keep you safe. Behind Simon, the other bloodied and battered crew members of Serenity nodded their agreement.
Mal added, We won't come bother ya anymore, Lil' Albatross. We jus' wanted ta look after ya, but Jayne's been doin' a right fine job 'a it.
Have a shiny life together, said Kaylee. Never go ta bed angry, an' remember ta say 'I love ya' often.
Agree to disagree if there's sumthin' ya can't stop arguin' 'bout. An' say 'I love you' ev'ryday, Zoe announced, nodding at Kaylee in agreement of her last piece of advice.
We love you, River, Inara's gentle voice added. Be happy, and know that we'll be looking down on you.
Goodbye, mei-mei. We'll meet again someday, Simon finished, and just like that, the dream had ended and River had awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside her window. She couldn't help but wonder if the ghosts were real, or just a figment of her subconscious, but either way, she knew she wouldn't have the nightmares anymore.
Now she could feel Jayne's mother approaching before she even heard her coming up the stairs. Quickly wiping away the tear that was forming, she turned expectantly towards to door, which Mrs. Cobb knocked on a moment later.
"Qing jin." Mrs. Cobb entered and smiled widely at her soon to be daughter-in-law.
"Why, if you don't look like a shinin' star! Oh, the dress fits perfectly!"
River beamed and twirled in front of the mirror.
"Ya sure ya don't want me ta put yer hair up, hun? Wouldn't be no trouble."
Touching her hair faintly, River shook her head no. It had been problematic brushing her own hair that morning. Jayne knew how to do it just right; getting close to her scars so she had no tangles, but never actually touching them.
"Well, I brought ya sumthin'... ya don't hafta put it in yer hair though." Coming to her side, Mrs. Cobb held out a white flower. "I thought it'd look nice behind your ear."
River nodded. "I acquiesce to your assumption, Mrs. Cobb." Off of her confused look, River smiled and plucked the flower from her fingers. "Apologies. I meant 'yes.'" She tucked the flower behind her left ear and grinned. "Perfect."
Mrs. Cobb straightened River's jacket a bit and handed her a bouquet of white flowers tied together with a blue ribbon. "About that, dear. You can call me Ma now, iffen ya want to. But don't feel like ya gotta, ok?" Even though her words suggested that River not feel pressured into called her 'Ma,' River could sense Mrs. Cobb's hopefulness that she would.
All at once, the importance of the day, the sadness she felt at certain people missing out on her wedding, the hopefulness of Mrs. Cobb, and the nervousness of Jayne, which she had felt all morning, hit her full force. Letting out a sob, River buried her head against the shorter women's shoulder.
Her eyes widening, Mrs. Cobb wrapped her arms around the sobbing bride. "Oh, River! What is it? I shouldn't 'a pressured ya into callin' me--"
"No!" River cried out, pulling her head up to look at Jayne's mother with watery eyes. "I-I would b-be honored to, I just, I-- I'm sorry..."
"Shhh, it's ok, dear. It's yer day. Yer allowed to cry all ya want."
"Ma?" River questioned softly, feeling Mrs. Cobb's heart swell happily. "I am nervous. I feel dizzy, and I have sweaty palms, and I fear I will not be a sufficient wife for your son."
"What?" Mrs. Cobb pulled back and held River at arm's length. "Why ya sayin' that fer?"
Her lip quivering, River answered, "He takes care of me. He does everything for me... but I feel I do little in return."
"Aww, hun, don't feel that way!" Mrs. Cobb admonished gently. "Ya love him, dontcha?"
Surprised by the question, River nodded frantically. "Yes, yes I do, but he--"
"Then that's all he needs. Sure, ya cook an' clean an' do all kinds 'a helpful stuff ta take care 'a my Jayne, an' he does all kinds 'a stuff ta take care 'a you, but all ya really need ta do is love each other. Ya know what I mean?"
Wiping her eyes, River nodded again. "So I am good enough for him?"
"More'n good, dear. Yer jus' what he needs. Yer perfect for each other."
River giggled and wiped her face, sniffling back her unshed tears. "Thank you, Ma."
"Hello?" a voice called from downstairs.
"Jonas? That you?" Mrs. Cobb yelled back.
"In the flesh." the man's voice answered jovially, and they could hear him coming up the stairs. "I'm lookin' fer a girl ta give away. Got any spare girls up here?"
Clicking her tongue, Mrs. Cobb smiled at River. "Think there's one up here. Come 'n see."
Stopping at the doorway, Jonas whistled. "Boy, my nephew's one lucky fella."
Blushing slightly, River clutched her bouquet tighter. "Time to start." she said excitedly.
"Sure is." Jonas replied, holding out his elbow. "Let's gitcha hitched."
***********************************
If Jayne hadn't been fearful of his mother's wrath, he would have taken his stupid bowtie off ages ago. As it was, he was nervously pulling at it while Mattie elbowed him in the side to make him stop. They stood with the preacher under the flower covered arbor, awaiting River so they could start.
This was it. Soon Jayne would be a married man. Since becoming a merc, he'd never pictured himself getting married, especially not to a woman half his age. He never thought he'd settle down to a quiet life that didn't involved stealing stuff and shooting at people. He abandoned his tie to put a hand into his pants pocket and pinch himself on the thigh. Nope. Definitely not a very elaborate dream. This was really happening.
One of Mattie's friends started playing the guitar, and all the guests quieted down as Mrs. Cobb walked down the aisle holding a bouquet. She was already crying, but she threw her son a wink as she reached the end. Then River appeared at the far end of the aisle on Jonas' arm. Jayne noticed that she looked a bit nervous and he again couldn't help but wonder if she was having second thoughts, but then her eyes met his and she smiled one of the most beautiful smiles to ever grace her face since he had known her. The wind completely knocked out of him, he couldn't stare at anything but her face as she walked up to his side.
Jonas released River and snuck in a kiss on her cheek, chuckling when Jayne glared at him. Looking back at River, Jayne finally paid attention to what she was wearing, and he couldn't stop the soft exhalation of "Wow," from passing his lips.
She ducked her head, then lifted it back up to steadily meet his eyes, just as she had been dreaming about for so long, and whispered, "You too."
The guy playing the guitar finally reached the end of the song and the preacher said, "Please be seated."
Jayne couldn't have told anyone what words he said during the vows, but he knew that he meant every one of them. River had decided early on in the wedding planning that they should recite the standard vows and not their own, because she feared she'd grow flustered with so many peoples' thoughts whispering in her mind and she'd launch into a scientific thesis that sounded nothing like a vow from the heart.
They each repeated the preacher's words, exchanged rings, and said "I will," when prompted, but all Jayne knew was that his palms were sweating all over River's and he felt bad about it. All River knew was that this official ceremony to bind them wasn't as all-important as she thought it was, because when he held her small hands in his, she knew they were already bound together, and had been that way since their first kiss.
"...I now proclaim you to be husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."
Jayne jolted out of his daze as River's face lit up like a star gone supernova. Letting out a squeal, she dropped her bouquet and threw both arms around his neck. He hoisted her up to press her against his chest and they shared their first kiss as a married couple. Everyone around them was clapping and cheering, but Jayne and River could only feel and hear the pounding of each other's hearts as their lips glided tenderly across the other's.
***********************************
"I have procured you a cracker with cheese." River said, holding the aforementioned snack out to her new husband. Bending down on the dancefloor, Jayne opened his mouth and gobbled it up, making her let out a squeak when he made it look like he was going to take her fingers with it.
Mrs. Cobb, who had been dancing with Jayne, laughed heartily and said, "These old bones need a rest. Think ya can handle this fella?" She patted her son on the arm. "He's a toe-stepper."
"Ma..." Jayne whined after he swallowed, but River giggled.
"He has always been most considerate of my toes." She looked down and wiggled her bare toes happily against the hard-packed dirt that served as a dancefloor.
Jayne pulled her into his arms and led them into the next dance. "Well, I ain't never danced with ya when ya ain't had shoes on. Don't come cryin' ta me if I bust sumthin'."
Rolling her eyes, she pressed her head to his chest and closed her eyes. They danced in silence as their guests danced and chattered around them.
"I am very thankful to your uncle for walking me down the aisle." she said suddenly, gazing up at Jayne. "I wish it could have been Simon, but--" she faltered. "I-I know he would be happy for me today."
Swallowing hard, Jayne tried to force a smile on his face. "Ya think?" His voice was filled with emotion, and River pressed her lips tightly together to keep them from trembling as she nodded.
"He always wanted what was best for me. You are what is best for me."
Jayne squeezed her tighter and remained silent, but she felt his pride at being able to accomplish something like being what she needed.
***********************************
The all-terrain mule stopped in front of their house and Jayne gently nudged River, who had fallen asleep on his lap.
"We're home, Moonbeam."
"Mmm..."
Jonas chuckled as he looked back at the wagon. "She's all tuckered out."
"Yeah. Thanks fer the lift."
"No problem. See ya tomorrow."
Jayne lifted River into his arms as he stood. "Night."
Jonas drove away into the darkness, and Jayne wondered how he was going to unlock the door with a nearly unconscious girl in his arms.
"C'mon, bao bei, gotta walk ta the door."
"Nuuuuh uhhh... carries... threshold... tra-di-tion..." she mumbled, half-asleep.
"I jus' need ta set ya down ta unlock the door. I'll carry ya upstairs." Despite her mumbled protests, he set her on her feet, keeping one arm around her as he opened the door. He reached his hand around and locked it from the inside so he could just kick it shut once he walked in, before scooping her up again.
"Goin' in now, as a married couple..." Jayne said, pausing at the threshold. "It's kinda a big deal with womenfolk. Dontcha wanna open them pretty eyes?"
Moaning, River forced her eyes open briefly as Jayne crossed the threshold inside and kicked the door closed.
"Home..." she whispered, before her eyelids drooped shut again.
"Yup, we're home." he said softly, carrying her up to bed and laying her down.
He stood up straight and looked at her all curled up and asleep. Certain things were supposed to happen on a couple's wedding night, but he wasn't going to poke her awake and demand it.
Shaking his head, he kicked off his shoes and started getting out of the uncomfortable clothes. He stripped down to his boxers and looked back to River. She would probably be upset if she awoke in the morning to find she'd wrinkled his mother's wedding dress. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he carefully lifted her up against his chest and slid the jacket down her arms.
Her lips moved against his chest as she mumbled something incoherant. Chuckling, his fingers fumbled to unbutton her dress, then peeled the fabric down to her waist, before he pressed a kiss to her neck and gently laid her back down, pulling the dress down her legs.
"Wedding night... ac-tivit-ies." she mumbled.
Jayne laid the dress and jacket out on the back of a chair, over his suit jacket so it wouldn't wrinkle. He knew his mother would throw a fit if he didn't take care of the fancy clothes.
"Nah, was jus' gonna git a nightgown fer ya." He moved to the dresser, but River's voice stopped him.
"Jayne?" She sounded upset, and he came back to her side, sitting beside her. "You don't want to make love to me?"
"Aww, it ain't that!" he answered, sliding his hand along her smooth stomach, covered by her slip. "But yer jus' 'bout asleep an' it ain't gonna help my ego none iffen ya fall asleep while we're doin' it."
"But I want to..." she said, then suddenly lifted her hand and slapped herself across the face.
"Jesus! What the gui you doin'?!" Jayne exclaimed before she slapped the other side of her face.
"Trying to wake up, silly." she said, and in fact, she did sound a bit more awake, though still groggy. She started pulling on her hair before Jayne stopped her.
"Ok, ok, I git it. Ya awake 'nuff now?"
"Mmm hmm." she answered, holding her arms out to him. "Would like to be sexually intimate with you now."
Jayne nudged her to scoot over, then lay down beside her. She curled up against him the way she always did when he started touching her.
"So, yer really ready, right?" Jayne asked cautiously.
"Yes." she whispered, then looked up and found his eyes in the dim moonlight. "I've read all about this subject and I wanted to let you know that it is common for many women to not orgasm their first time due to the pain, so you do not have to wait for me to, before you release your semen, alright?"
Jayne blinked and took a moment to digest that. "Well, that's a hell of a note." he said finally.
"I have accepted the fact." she replied evenly.
Shaking his head, Jayne rolled on top of her, propped up on his elbows. "Bao bei, I'm gonna have ya screamin' my name 'fore we even git ta the sex, don't you worry none." He flashed her a grin before he kissed her eagerly.
In no time at all, Jayne had her out of her slip, bra, and undies. River shivered from the draft, but suddenly his warm body was atop hers again. His warmth was making her a little sleepy, but she knew she wouldn't drift off. Giving him a lazy smile as he slid down her body, she gasped when he parted her thighs and the cool air hit them.
"Ready, hun?"
"Mmm hmmm." she hummed, running her fingers through his hair.
He blew warm breath across her sensitive center and her hips jerked up at the feeling. Then he slowly ran his tongue along the inside of her legs, pausing to exhale another hot breath. River wriggled against the mattress, yanking on his hair.
"Jayne...you're teasing..."
He laughed, and the deep rumble caused a throb between her legs.
"Please..."
"Don't gotta beg, baby." he mumbled, before he wet his lips and kissed her inner thigh, quickly moving over to her soft folds, which made her cry out softly in pleasure. His tongue licked inbetween them and, in response, her legs locked around his neck. She could feel him chuckle against her skin before his tongue made slow circles against her. Somehow he got his fingers past her tightly clenched legs and slipped one into her while his tongue slid up to caress her clit.
Her head pushed back into the pillow as she arched her back, moaning softly. He added a second finger and she saw white stars before her eyes. Twisting his fingers, he gently sucked on her clit, watching her face as she panted.
"A-Almost..." she whispered. He pumped his fingers faster and flicked his tongue back and forth across her sensitive nerves. "So close...!" she gasped, squeezing her legs around him even tighter, enough to give him a neck ache.
He watched her hang onto the edge so he slid his fingers against her front wall, across her G-spot, and sucked her clit into his mouth. Letting out a sharp cry, her hips bucked and her inner walls clenched tightly to his fingers as she fell apart.
"JAYNE...!"
He continued to slide his tongue across her as she floated down from her orgasm. She released the near-choke hold she had on his neck, and let her legs fall to the mattress as Jayne quickly pulled his boxers off.
"Oh Jayne..." she whispered. Now she was very sleepy.
He crawled up her body and nudged her legs apart. "Feelin' good?" he asked. She could feel his hard length pressing against her entrance, and she opened her eyes in a haze, her hips automatically rocking up.
"Mmm, I do." she replied, hearing his breath catch in his throat.
"Oh God, bao bei, I can't wait much longer."
Looking trustingly into his eyes, River nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, anticipating the pain. "I love you."
She could feel his stomach quivering against hers as he held onto the last bit of restraint he had. "I love ya." he answered, before he thrust into her.
River let out a startled cry of pain as her nails dug onto his back. She pressed her mouth against his neck to keep such words as Ow, ow, OW! Get out! from passing her lips.
Jayne held still, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the biting sting of her nails. If she was inflicting that much pain on him, how much was he causing her?
"I-I'm sorry." he hissed out as her nails dug deeper. His voice rumbling and vibrating against her made the pain worse. "I'm jus' gonna stay still til yer ready, dong ma?"
She could only whimper alongside his neck as an answer.
"Remember ya gotta relax yer muscles." he whispered gently. "Yer clenched so gorram tight--"
"'Cause it hurts!" she cried out, sniffling.
Jayne swallowed hard. "I know. Hey, look at me."
She pulled her face away from his neck and settled back on the pillow. Jayne brushed his lips over hers, barely touching her, then kissed her a little deeper. He rotated his head and ever so softly kissed her again. River knew what he was doing, because she could sense it in his mind. But it was a good plan. He wanted her to focus on his kisses, and not what was happening below her waist.
Parting her lips slowly, River deepened their sensual kisses, letting her tongue tease his teeth. Her grip on his back loosened, and she slid her hands up to bury them in his hair. She could feel strain, and the beginnings of pain, coming from his mind.
"Baby?" he whispered shakily.
"I'm alright." she answered, licking his lips. "Go ahead."
He pressed his mouth firmly down over hers, kissing her passionately as he slid back, then jerked forward again, pushing into her tight body further than before. She let out a cry into his mouth, but she tugged on his hair and bit his lip so he could keep going.
He moved as gently as he could, wishing there was some way he could help her feel what he was feeling. She briefly pulled her mouth from his, panting, "Already took care of me. Your turn." before her mouth sought out his. Taking that as a sign that she'd be alright, he moved faster, thrusting deeper, and when her hips began thrusting back, he groaned loudly.
Lifted his head, he asked, "It still hurt?"
"Not... like... before." she whispered between gasps for breath, eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Just... a little. Mostly feels... like pressure now."
She arched her back and Jayne brought his mouth down to her exposed neck, sucking against her and causing mewls and whimpers to pass her lips. Her hands moved back down to his shoulder blades, where she rubbed soothing circles across his sweaty skin. She could tell he was close to his finish, and she urged him on, rocking her hips and letting out soft whimpers.
Jayne kissed her again, and the intensity of the love she felt pour into her from his mind and his heart made her forget everything in the 'verse for a moment until he came with a deep groan. His tired body dropped down onto hers, but before she could even lose her breath, he rolled onto his side, panting quickly.
Reaching out, he caressed her skin, but as he passed over her stomach, she whimpered and her muscles locked. He moved his hand up to cup her face, turning it towards him. He could feel her shaking under the palm of his hand.
"How ya doin'?"
She smiled. "Sore, but I feel good too. The shaking is involuntary." Rolling towards him, she pillowed her head on his arm and finger-combed the sweaty hair on his chest. "How do you feel?"
"Great." he murmured. "Feel bad 'bout hurtin' ya though."
Shaking her head faintly, she replied with, "Couldn't be helped. Differences in size ratios will ultimately lead to pain, until my body--" She paused to let out a yawn. "Learns to adapt."
Jayne leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Hope that don't take too long."
Her eyes were closed, and he thought maybe she had already dropped off again, so he closed his eyes too, lazily drawing his hand up and down her spine.
"Jayne?" she whispered, pulling him from sleep's hold.
"Hmm?" When she didn't say anything right away, he opened his eyes. "What?"
Still, she paused for a moment before she drew enough courage to speak. "Do you think if the crash had never happened, that you and I would still have come together?"
Jayne frowned. "What kinda question is that?"
"I wonder if we would have fallen in love, if we weren't forced together by circumstances." she whispered, looking up at him sadly.
Looking away, Jayne muttered, "Doubt it. Mal woulda killed me if I'd touched ya. The rest of 'em too."
"And you wouldn't have seen me as you do now."
"Yeah."
"So we never would have..." she mumbled quietly.
Jayne tugged her snug along his side. "It ain't a fair question ta be thinkin' on."
"Why not?"
"That's like askin' what would I rather have: you bein' mine; 'er the rest 'a them alive again, but not have you as mine. Ain't fair."
River's eyes widened and she pushed her fingers to her lips for a moment before lowering them to her chin. "I'm sorry! It's not fair. I didn't mean to--"
"Shhh..." he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Don't think either 'a us could answer that question." He pressed another kiss to her cheek, then another to her lips as she moved her fingers away and back to his chest.
"I love you." River said. "And that's all that matters now. Your mother said so."
Jayne chuckled. "She said that ta me too. Get some sleep."
"You have to tell me you love me first; they said so."
"They who?" Jayne said, before letting out a yawn.
"The ghosts. They won't be back again. They know you'll take care of me."
"Well that's good ta hear." he said, already drifting off. "I love ya."
"Love you more." River teased.
"Nuh uh." he mumbled.
"Mmm hmm."
"Nuh uh."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Nope."
"Yup."
"No."
"Yes."
"Uh uh."
"Yeah huh."
She waited for his response but all she heard was his even breathing.
"I win." she whispered against his chest, closing her eyes and listening to her husband's heartbeat.
THE END
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