and the weekend update! Starting Wednesday night...{Long & possibly redundant ;-)}

[gormflaith]

I went up to my folks house Wednesday night in preparation for the King Tut exhibit with my mom the next day. Mom had news; she had a lump in her last mammogram and the follow on biopsy had cancer cells in it. Full body scan on Saturday - (the tech told her that he thought she would be pleased with the result- they aren't really allowed to even

Comments

[poindexter]

1. If someone has loudly demonstrated and said with specific hurtful words that they are not your friend, and want nothing to do with you, why in the world would they think it's okay to ask a favor from you?
2. The favor is well within my abilities, and really not much of a bother, am I a patsy for doing it, or is doing it the high road?

HAW HAW HAW HAW... High road? That's no fun!

[gormflaith]

That was very helpful.
Thanks :-(

The word you're looking for is

[learnteach]

schmuck. You're assuming other people have your high sense of honor.

Re: The word you're looking for is

[gormflaith]

Me or the requester? ;-)

[ktmcg]

depends - what will they do for you in exchange? Freebies are for people who ARE your friends, mostly...or at least proto-friends; was-a-friend-is-not...hmmm...

other side of the thought - it also matters as to who, if any, other people will benefit from you doing the favor; if there are others that you doing the favor will help, and they are at least OK in your book...

[gormflaith]

There was no offer of any return of a favor, only the request with the completely naked expectation that I would do it.

It could potentially enrich an educational program from now on, which I think is cool. No one I know personally will benefit from the enriched program, but I'm all for making education interesting :-)

Although I suppose the requester could be gaining a favor from someone by presenting my work to them.

favors

[ktmcg]

well, that was part of my point - there may have been no "offered" return favor - but you could present the asker a barter option, or no go.

However, like you, I am all for enriching education and educational programs, so for the blind benefit of those who will learn, I would probably do it anyway...

Re: favors

[gormflaith]

Yes, I think I'll just cut out the middleman.

thinking

[korwyn]

Personally when the favor is that sort (i.e. Not much effort) I tend to like having them in my pocket. If the person has any shame they will be less likely to bad mouth you when they *know* they owe you favors.

Mind you you may have to use a 5-lb hammer to remind them if they forget, but hey that can be fun also.

The advantage to the high road is that the high road is a good place from which to drop rocks on the low road.

Re: thinking

[gormflaith]

I do not think that would put this person 'in my pocket' as it were, and the 'bad mouthing' has already happenned, and words once said cannot be unsaid.

I think the sheer arrogance that I'd be pleased to help them is what rankles most after the ill-treatment I've received from this person.

Re: thinking

[gormflaith]

I started working on this last night and it is quite a bit more effort than I initially thought actually. And it is making me quite cranky.

[ysabella_dolfin]

People don't learn from their mistakes if there are no consequences. A natural consequence of severing ties is having a smaller pool to pull favors from. We are not "Doing the right thing" if we are rewarding people for bad and hurtful behavior.

Hence my quandry...

[gormflaith]

There are no 'painful consequences' of me not doing it. There are any number of people that are knowledgeable about medieval cooking that this person could have requested the information from.

It could conceiveably enrich an educational program from now on, which I think is really cool, and if this person hadn't been so mean and disrespectful to me previously, I'd be flattered that they asked.

I am more bewildered that the person chose to ask a favor from me when they did not have to, and should have no expectation that I would want to help them.

just do it

[ppfuf]

I was going to say don't do it, untill I got to the "enrich an educational program". It sounds like more people than the BigMeanie would benefit, so do the favor for them.

Re: Hence my quandry...

[dame_cordelia]

If anyone was that unpleasant to me and wanted to have nothing to do with me, and offered no apology for that behavior, I would have nothing to do with that person.

I would, however, seek another way to enrich an educational program, if another way could be found. YMMV