restless

[goingferal]

Lying on my side in my bed, in my newly painted bedroom, I look into the small bathroom that must have once been a closet. The wall is a soothing, dark periwinkle blue, the exact color of the long purple shadows on the snow in the picture of Thorn and Frost leaping through the 24 inches that fell the January I moved to Charlottesville. The picture

Comments

Yes.

[crepedelbebe]

1. Is it really fair to say you failed? You did the best you could with what you had to work with at the time. What else could you have done?

2. I must cut loose from this job I have, the security it gives me--because the cost to me is too great, the soul drain and the creative suppression, the sheer number of hours spent trying to make the hours go faster, the in-company political maneuvering that makes me bitter and makes my bite my tongue, the incessant Thou Shalt Cover Thy Ass commandment. But I must be able to pay my bills, stand on my own, keep on keeping on (which isn't enough, I want to move toward better, not just survival). This is exactly where I am right now, and it's terrifying. So, yes, courage. And moving one careful step at a time

Re: Yes.

[gene_home]

you have time

Re: Yes.

[gene_home]

PS yr halfway there cuz you are good.

Re: Yes.

[eme_kah]

Ooh, beautiful, Gene!

[shadowraine]

i understand this fear of yours, sometimes it isn't about the jump, its about the landing

[eme_kah]

you already got some very good advice. The thing I'd say is: Don't look back too long. It can be very discouraging to think about the turns in the road that you didn't take. I'm in the same place myself, as you know. But that sense of failure is very debilitating and if you really want to change your life, you need positive energy