Fic: Car Talk (L/V) PG-13 (language)
TITLE: Car Talk (Part 1)
AUTHOR:
hokeysmoke
RATING: PG13
CHARACTER/PAIRING: Logan/Veronica
SPOILERS: All of it is up for grabs
WORD COUNT (in total): 11,982
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I'd go on about 'if I did', but we all know the "if 'ifs and buts' were candy and nuts" thing. No merry Christmases around here.
SUMMARY: It's just a ride.
A/N: I started this back in October, ironically enough, when I was visiting Oklahoma for the first time. I got the first bit written with the smarmy salesman, then nothing. It went into a folder on my desktop. When this challenge was announced, the whole thing kind of started creeping into place. And yeah, so I haven't posted any fics in a while. When I started in LJ a few months ago I was in Illinois. Now I'm trying to make Oklahoma my home. 'Nuff said. Also, many thanks to
angst_driven,
briapoe, and
mastermia for input. I'm embarrassed to say I had to edit this to include them. I should be beaten with a box of wet snickerdoodles.
Monday, mid-morning.
He pulls into the used car lot, smiling. His search may be over. He parks the Rover behind the office and walks over to the car, picturing it with various improvements.
He circles the car, scrutinizing it from every angle. The color’s not right, but that’s no obstacle. The upholstery seems to be in good shape, and a deep whiff of the interior doesn’t trigger any gag reflex. He’s about to kick the tires when he’s pulled out of his deep concentration by an overly eager voice.
“Oh yeah, that one’s a beaut Truly a fine example of American automotive engineering. Y’can’t go wrong with one of these babies.”
Logan has never had any first-hand experience with used car salesmen, he just knows of their reputations. He merely arches an eyebrow at the smarmy polyester plaid-clad man who has, so far, fulfilled Logan’s every expectation. He decides it would be fun to mess with this man’s head.
“Is that right? What’s my trade worth?”
Logan notes the barest hint of smugness in the salesman’s smile.
“Well, young man, is it in good condition? Does it run?” His earnest expression is a dead giveaway that he hasn’t seen the gleaming black behemoth.
Logan shrugs and shuffles his feet a little before he answers.
“Well, it got me here. I’ve had it a couple years, but I’ve decided it’s not really me anymore. This- ” he indicates the banana-yellow car before continuing “this brings back fond memories of a girl I used to know.”
The salesman grins. Logan can almost see him thinking “SUCKER” in flashing neon.
“Ah, a girl, is it? Well, I can’t let this baby go for less than twelve-five. Your trade ought to bring in at least seven hundred.”
Logan raises his eyebrows and runs a hand through his hair. “That much, huh?”
“Well, that’s if it checks out all right.”
“Wow. I had no idea.” Logan stands, arms akimbo.
“So, where’s your trade?”
Logan steps back and leads the salesman around the building to where the Rover sits. It’s as at-home in this mélange of crappy cars as a Lear jet in a hangar full of crop dusters would be.
“There it is.” he flips a hand over, palm up, indicating the Rover.
The salesman takes one look at the ridiculously expensive luxury SUV and his eyes grow big. Then he looks at Logan again and his hopeful expression crumbles.
“Stupid question, I know, but you’re not gonna take seven hundred for that, are you?”
“Nope. And I know that one-” he points at the banana car “isn’t worth anything close to twelve-five. It was barely worth that much when it was brand new on the showroom floor.”
The salesman looks just a little sheepish. He tries to recover the upper hand. “Look, mister, I wasn’t gonna rip you off. It’s a game, y’know? Start off high and work down to a price we both can live with. That way we feel we’ve done our jobs, right?”
“Yeah. Right. So, make me a counter-offer.”
“Six-five?”
Logan almost snorts. “Thanks, but no thanks. I saw one of these for less than a third that price across town. I’ve got no problem going back there.”
“You are one tough negotiator, mister. Nineteen hundred, and that’s practically taking food out of my kids’ mouths.”
Logan considers this. If this man has kids, they probably live at the racetrack and have short men wearing brightly colored silk riding them every day.
“Sold. Cash all right? There’s another hundred in it for you if you deliver it to this address by five tonight.”
The salesman looks at the paper Logan has handed him and his eyes grow big.
“But mister, that’s a chop shop!”
“For a decent car that’s stolen, it’s a chop shop. For a piece of crap like this, it’s a customizing wet dream.”
The two move to the office and finish the sale. As Logan drives off, he reminds the salesman to get the car to Angel’s shop by five.
I must be losing my mind, putting all this effort into reproducing the car of a girl who won’t even talk to me. Stupid, Logan. Really stupid.
After leaving the car lot, Logan drives toward San Diego and the nearest Land Rover dealership. He speaks to the sales rep from whom he had purchased the SUV less than eighteen months ago and the two shake hands before Logan leaves.
On his way back to Neptune, he goes to his financial advisor’s office and spends an hour discussing opportunities. Logan is unusually attentive during this meeting.
After that, he stops by the office of his family’s long-time investment lawyer, Gabe Shulman. Logan had been looking into some of his financial matters and something had come to his attention.
“So, Gabe, I studied up a little bit about insurance in my Econ class.”
Logan notices Shulman visibly tense, he forges on.
“From your reaction, you probably know where this is going.”
“Logan, you’re set for life. You don’t have to worry about your finances, ever.”
“That’s not the point, Gabe. Considering that the Echolls’ house was a multi-million dollar estate, even without the highly-insured works of art in it, there should have been some sort of extravagant pay-out. Is there a reason I’ve never heard anything about it? And don’t even think about giving me any excuses, ‘cuz I know a hell of a private investigator with a very impressive accountant in the wings. Even if my finances are peachy-keen, I do have the right to take an active interest in my financial affairs... And while we’re on the topic, shouldn’t there be some royalty checks coming in, too?”
“Logan, it’s not that simple. Yes, there was an insurance settlement, much of which was tied up by the Kane family during Aaron’s trial - ”
“First of all, that trial has been over for a year now, so the Kanes shouldn’t even be entering into this discussion, Second, ‘much’ isn’t ‘all’, Gabe. Where’s my money been going?”
“It’s in trust. Until you’re 25. Aaron said- ”
Logan holds up a hand to silence Shulman. He’s seething with barely-controlled anger. “That’s enough, Shulman. Aaron was a philanderer, an abusive husband, an incompetent father and a pathetic excuse for an actor. I’d add ‘murderer’ in there, but in true weasel-lawyer fashion you’d argue that he’d been acquitted of that charge. The fact is, I don’t care what Aaron said. He’s dead and the world is well rid of him! I want a full accounting of where each and every penny has gone since that bastard was incarcerated by the late Sheriff Lamb, and I want it by the end of next week. Every. Penny. Got it?”
Gabe nods balefully, and Logan leaves the building, smiling to himself.
His next stop takes him to a Honda dealership where he picks up a low-mileage ‘certified pre-owned’ 2006 Civic for under $16,000. A pretty good price if Kelley’s Blue Book is to be believed. As a plus, the charcoal grey of the car looks good, well, good enough and it won’t draw unnecessary attention.
The last stop for the night is his newly-acquired beach-front condo, where he starts making more plans.
Over the next three days, the Range Rover is picked up by a driver from the dealership and a check for it has been cashed. The proceeds from the sale of the SUV are split several ways: much of it goes into savings, some is dropped at his financial advisor’s office, he stashes some of it in his backpack and takes some of the cash to Angel’s to pay for the restoration of the Le Baron.
Angel doesn’t usually let clients onto the shop floor, but it’s after hours and Logan’s paying enough for the work on the Chrysler that Angel can clearly see the advantage to showing off the progress that’s already been made.
At first glance, the car now looks like Veronica’s old one. Closer inspection reveals subtle improvements: real leather seats, tinted windows, the dash has been re-worked to accept a Bang & Olufsen sound system - one normally only found in high-end Audi vehicles. Angel proudly proclaims it’s also now a type of hybrid.
“You know we pulled the original engine. That thing was a piece of shit. Now this baby will run on biodiesel, ethanol mixes, and electric, all with just a flick of a switch. And pickup? This thing’s got it. People gonna see this car and think it’s crap, but you gonna have it tricked out good, amigo. Too bad you won’t let me really fix it up. We could add flames, and I got some rims - spinners, even...”
Logan grins, but says “Nah. That’s overkill, Angel. We’re going for low-key here, but I like what you’ve done so far. When will it be ready?”
Angel makes a little motion with his chin, indicating the car, “When do you want it ready?”
“Any chance of picking it up tomorrow morning?” Logan asks this with raised eyebrows.
“That’s reachin’, amigo. I’m gonna hafta pay my guys extra.”
“You know I’m good for it.”
Angel smiles broadly. “Tomorrow morning it is, then. Cash, right?”
“You know it. There was no problem getting those other special features installed, was there?”
“That thing with the locks and the windows was kind of tricky, but we did finally get it.”
Logan smiles, “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, probably about ten.”
“I’ll make sure it’s ready.”
“And that other thing we discussed? Is that going to work for you?”
“Amigo, for what you’re paying, I’ll make sure to fit it in.”
Logan leaves, smiling.
Friday, early morning
Logan calls Angel to make sure the Le Baron will be ready, then he calls the other shop he usually deals with.
“You ready, Tom?”
“As ready as ever. The plan still the same?”
“Yep. You know what you’re looking for, right?”
Logan hears a sheet of paper rustle, then Tom answers, “Silver Saturn hybrid SUV, California plate number 6BC dash A5zero4, right?”
“That’s the one. There’ll be a petite blonde driving it, and she should be somewhere near Woodford Hall on the Hearst campus. When you see her park, give me a call and tell me exactly where you are before you do your thing.”
“You got it.” Tom pauses for a moment, then says “You’re sure this is legal?”
“Tom, you’re just picking it up to have your guys detail it. It’s a surprise for my girl. Besides, would I do anything to cause you trouble with the law?”
“You don’t want me to answer that, do you?”
“No. Just stick with the plan. ‘K? Later.”
“All right, Logan. Later.”
Then Logan takes a cab to Angel’s to pick up the Le Baron.
Angel goes over all the new bells and whistles he’s installed in the car. Logan’s trying to pay attention, but he’s so excited about his plan that he finds his mind wandering. Still, he manages to nod and say “Okay” at the right times, and finally Angel tells him the price for the work. Without any question, Logan counts out the bills and adds a nice tip, then gets in the Le Baron and adjusts the seat and mirrors. With a final wave he pulls out of the garage, nodding at Angel. Angel nods back at him, then resumes counting the wad of cash, smiling.
Logan drives the car around town, getting a feel for it, trying some of the new features and waiting for Tom to call. He’s only five minutes from campus when the call comes.
“You find her?” Logan is eager.
“Yep. North side of the Woodford lot. You’ll see the wrecker. You can follow me in. How far away are you?”
“Just a few minutes. I’ll be right there.”
True to his word, Logan quickly pulls up behind Tom’s wrecker and then follows him into the lot to where the Saturn is parked. Within 10 minutes, Tom has the SUV loaded onto the back of the wrecker, and Logan hands over the spare key that Veronica had apparently forgotten about.
“I’ll make sure it’s picked up on Monday, all right? Make it sparkle for my girl.” Logan says as he hands five crisp one hundred dollar bills to Tom.
“As if we’d do anything less.”
Logan smiles to himself as he gets back into the Le Baron and backs into the space that the Saturn recently occupied. He makes a couple more calls, then he tips the seat back a bit and waits.
He sees her about an hour later. She’s walking toward the space where her Saturn should be. She doesn’t notice its absence because she’s rummaging for the keys. When she has them in hand, she walks right up to where she last saw it and stops in her tracks at seeing the Le Baron.
She looks to the left, then looks to the right. She startles a little bit when the passenger door opens and she hears a familiar voice telling her to get in.
“What? Where’s my car?”
“Just get in, Veronica.”
She walks to the open door and looks inside. When she sees Logan, she rolls her eyes and is about to walk away when she hears him softly say “Please get in.” She relents, and sits down in the seat with a huff.
“What did you do with my car? And what are you doing with this piece of shit?”
“I’m having your car detailed, and this,” he spreads his open hands, indicating the new and improved Le Baron, “is not a piece of shit.” He lovingly caresses the dashboard.
“Wait, did you say detailed? Why would you do that?” She asks, shaking her head in disbelief, her tone abrupt. “What’s the point of this, Logan?”
“Simple. The woman who drives the Saturn won’t talk to me, but the one who drove the Le Baron, she was... a friend.”
She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, assessing his statement. He doesn’t seem to notice that she’s watching him.
“If you hadn’t been such a jackass, the woman who drives the Saturn would talk to you. And the woman who drove the Le Baron? She didn’t know how to deal with you any better than the one who drives the Saturn does.”
“Can we not? Can you refrain from bringing up my jackassery? I promise, I won’t say anything about what a bitch you’ve been this year.”
She glares at him, then puts her hand on the handle and tries to open the door, but it’s locked. She can’t unlock it, either. She tries her window, but it won’t lower more than three or four inches.
“What’s going on? Why won’t the door unlock?”
“Must be some glitch.” He makes a show of trying his own with no luck.
“What about the top? Does it work?” She sounds more than a little frantic.
He releases the latches and presses the button which is supposed to raise or lower the top. Nothing happens.
“Dammit! Lemme call the guy who did the work.” He picks up his phone and dials.
“Hey, man, the door locks...” pause, “They’re stuck or something.” pause and nod, “I don’t care if you’re not at the shop...” pause again, “Well, how ‘bout I come to your house? You’ve got tools there too, right?” Another pause. “Yeah,” pause, “Look, just give me your address.” He pantomimes a pen and paper to Veronica who immediately digs the items out of her bag and hands them to him. “98372 Pacific Coast Highway, Chula VISTA? Man, that’s two hours away!” He sighs, then shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to be stuck in my car all weekend. Just... don’t go anywhere ”
During the call, Veronica has been watching Logan intently. When he says “Chula Vista” her eyes get big and she starts shaking her head. When he ends the call, she starts yelling.
“What the hell is going on? Chula Vista? Is this some kind of sick joke? What the hell are you thinking? I can’t be stuck in a car with you for two hours!”
“Look, I know it’s a great hardship for you to spend any time at all in my company, but remember I’m stuck here too. You being a bitch about it isn’t going to make it any easier on either of us.”
“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have to be that way if you weren’t such a jackass. Being a bitch is kind of the standard method for coping with a jackass.”
Logan looks away and smiles slightly. She’s behaving exactly as he had imagined she would. He starts the car and pulls out of the space.
“What are you doing? Where are you taking me?”
“Um, I’m driving. And I’m not so much taking you as you’re riding with me because we have no choice. Get with the program, willya?”
She glares at him. “There are laws against kidnaping. Federal laws.”
He glances at her then turns his eyes back to the road, “You’re the expert. And I am not kidnaping you. You got into this car willingly, without force or coercion of any kind.”
She curses herself inwardly for still having a soft spot for Logan Echolls, then, her face grim and her lips set in a tight line, she digs around in her bag and pulls out a textbook. She opens it to somewhere in the middle and begins to read, yellow highlighter at the ready.
Logan glances at her again, then, when he sees she’s doing her best to ignore him, he turns on the stereo. The twin tweeters silently rise from the surface of the dashboard. Logan’s surreptitiously watches as Veronica notices the tweeters. He smiles slightly at the look of surprise on her face.
The music has been specially selected for this trip. It’s on a CD he made while they were together and includes songs he knows she loves. He makes a point of looking ahead at the road when she tries to watch him.
“I know what you’re doing.” Her tone is accusatory.
“Didn’t I once tell you I don’t have time to be guilty of every accusation you hurl at me? I’m as much a prisoner in this car as you are.”
This shuts her up, for now.
They ride in silence for the next ten minutes, Veronica’s eyes fixing on any point, as long as it’s outside the car. Logan catches the motion of her left hand as it caresses the fine leather of the seat.
She finally asks “How’d they manage to restore the ‘new car smell’ of this thing?”
He shrugs, “Magic? I dunno. Maybe it’s just the smell of the new upholstery... Y’know, I’m surprised at how nicely this car handles.”
“You don’t think I drove one of these just to flaunt my wealth and good taste, do you?”
He looks at her. She’s trying desperately to not smile. He arches both eyebrows at her, and she has to look away from him to keep her expression grim.
After a lull, Logan is the first to speak, “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Apparently so, since you just did.”
“No, seriously.”
She nods.
He takes a deep breath and clenches the steering wheel tighter, “What happened between us?”
“You’re joking. You do know that Chula Vista is only an hour and forty five minutes away now, right? I don’t know that I could count all the things that happened between us in that short span of time.” She looks away again.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. What happened between us last year, when you were on the trail of the Hearst rapist?”
She looks at him quickly, then studies her hands for a while.
Impatient, Logan interrupts, “Veronica?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking... What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know, but it was like you stopped caring about us all of a sudden.”
She doesn’t have an answer, so she turns away again and stares out the window, her book forgotten in her lap.
Logan drives, occasionally glancing at her. He sighs and focuses his attention on the road again.
Eventually, she quietly says “You got too close.”
“What?”
She looks at him intently, “You got too close, wanted too much.”
“All I wanted was for you be safe and to love me as much as I loved you. How the fuck is that wanting too much?”
She looks away again.
“I was right. You never need anything. Not even me.” He’s deflated. Defeated. He’s ready to give up the whole plan, come clean and tell her everything.
“That’s not true,” she says this so quietly that he’s not sure he really heard it.
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“No, I really want to know.”
She takes a deep breath, looks at her hands again, then looks out the window and begins talking, “I said it’s not true. I did need you.”
“Then what happened, Veronica?”
“I realized I needed you.”
“And...?”
“And it scared me, all right? Are you happy now that you’ve gotten that out of me?” She tries the window again, to no avail. “God, what is it with this car?”
“Maybe it wants us to talk.”
She glares at him.
He steels himself, then answers, “No, getting you to admit to me that you needed me or that it scared you was never a priority for me, so I’m not happy about it. I’m glad you admitted it to yourself, but it appears that I’m a day late and a dollar short, huh?”
She looks away again. “And again, everything boils down to time and money.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Just... trying to keep the awkward silences at bay.”
Now it’s Logan’s turn to be quiet.
After a few minutes he says “I miss you.”
She looks at him for a long minute, then looks away again.
“What do you want from me, Logan?”
He won’t, can’t answer. Not without scaring her off, so he bluffs, “What makes you think I want anything after so long?”
She looks at him incredulously. He can tell she’s trying to choose her words carefully. Finally, ticking the points off on her fingers, she says, “You bought the same make and model of my first car. You had it restored or customized or whatever. You had my Saturn towed. You lured me into this car from which I now can’t escape. You’re playing a mix tape of all my favorite songs. Do I have to go on?”
“Huh. Nothin’ gets past you, does it? Maybe I just wanted to pretend.”
“So you did do this on purpose!”
“And that’s another reason we didn’t work out.”
“Because you’re a manipulative jackass?”
“No. Because you’ve got that accusatory bitch problem.”
“Stop the car. Now!” She starts rummaging in her bag as he pulls onto the shoulder of the road.
“Why? What are you going to do? Claw your way out?”
She pulls out a “Life Hammer” and is trying to find a window to break which won’t result in her being showered with safety glass.
He reaches over and grabs the wrist attached to the hand holding the tool.
She looks him in the eyes for the first time in months, and he sees barely contained fury looking back at him.
“No. Please don’t, Veronica. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.” As he holds her wrist the knuckles of his hand graze across her left breast. Her nipple is a hard nub, and his cock, which has been alert since first seeing her is immediately just as hard as her nipple.
Her chest is heaving, and, without realizing she’s doing it, her eyes travel down to his lips, then they dart back up to his eyes. Her eyes soften before she looks away.
“Every time,” she says in frustration, her body suddenly losing its tension.
“‘Every time’ what?”
She takes a deep breath, “Every time we’re together, we get mad at each other. It’s so predictable.”
“Why do you think that is?” His grip on her wrist has relaxed, but he hasn’t let go.
“Oh I don’t know. Probably because you’re a jackass and I’m a bitch.”
He looks at her, still holding her wrist, and he starts to smile, then chuckle. She’s trying not to laugh, but the effort proves to be too much, and soon she’s chuckling with him.
He waits for her to get quiet again before continuing, “It wasn’t all bad, was it? Us, I mean.”
“No, Logan. It wasn’t all bad.”
“So, you’re okay? You’re past breaking the windows of this finely crafted and meticulously maintained example of American automobiles?”
At this statement she smiles, then nods. He’s now loosely holding her wrist, staring at her and he can’t stop himself, “You’re so beautiful,” he finally says, and the mood in the car changes.
She rapidly turns away, pulling her wrist out of his grasp. She gently rubs her wrist.
“Please don’t,” she says quietly.
Reluctantly, he turns away from her and looks in the rearview mirror to see if it’s safe to get back on the highway. After a moment, he shakes his head and looks back at her.
“Why not?” he asks, just as quietly.
She looks at him again, “Because we don’t work. Not for long, anyway.”
“But why not, Veronica? What I keep seeing is that you pull away and then you fucking run. Like loving me is terrifying.”
She looks away, “Loving you is terrifying. It’s intense and so overwhelming that I have to pull away. I’ve never given myself over to anyone the way I did with you. What if... what if you take over all of me? I can’t be nothing, Logan, I can’t be that bit of fluff I used to be before... everything.”
He looks at her, then puts his hand near hers on the seat, “Veronica, look at me... please?”
She slowly turns from the window toward him and looks him in the eyes.
“First of all, you? You could never be nothing. Not possible. You’re too strong. Second, it’s that way for me, too. Loving you is terrifying for me. God, I don’t know what it is. You’re like... like kryptonite. Sometimes you make me feel so strong, and sometimes... sometimes you strip me of all my strength. And stupid me, I keep coming back for more. Do you know why?”
“Because you’re not used to not getting what you want,” she says quietly.
He huffs out, like he’s been struck in the chest. Then he takes her hand, and holds onto it gently, but firmly as she tries to pull it away, “Not even close. I keep coming back for more because even though loving you scares the shit out of me, it also felt so good, so fulfilling to have you love me back, even occasionally, that I couldn’t imagine living without it. You’ve been the only good thing in my life - our relationship was the one thing that made me feel like I could face any other horrors the world threw at me. How could you expect me to just let that go?”
She’s still looking at him, but she’s given up on trying to take her hand back.
He watches her for a little longer, then says, “Yeah, so excuse me for wanting to pretend when I got the chance. I’ll try to control myself from now on,” he drops her hand and zips onto the highway after glancing to see if the way was clear.
When she looks at him again, his jaw is set, and he’s staring at the road ahead.
She fixes her eyes on the book in her lap for several minutes. Finally, she looks up at him again and asks, “Then why?”
He turns up the sound and ignores her. She waits for a minute. Two minutes. Three. Then tentatively puts a hand on his arm and just leaves it there, letting its warmth sink into his flesh.
He still doesn’t acknowledge her, so she studies the stereo console for a few seconds, then turns the sound down. After she does it, she asks again, “Logan, why?”
He looks at her and asks “Why what?”
“You know what.”
“Why Madi- ”
She cuts him off and answers “Yes.”
“I might as well ask ‘why Piz’.”
“Piz isn’t the issue here.”
“And Madison is?”
“You know how I feel about her. You know what she did to me. I just don’t understand how you could do... that... with her.”
“Why does it matter? Seriously, Veronica, senior year of high school, when you were back with Duncan... how could you do that with him? My best friend, and my girlfriend, in the next fucking room? And you just thought that would be all right?”
She takes a deep breath before answering, “I wasn’t your girlfriend then, and no. I never thought it would be all right.”
“Then why? Tell me, ‘cause I’ve been dying to know for the past two years,” he punctuates the ‘two years’ with two hits of the flat of his hand against the steering wheel, “Why?”
When she doesn’t answer right away, he steals a look at her. Is she trying to gauge his mood? Trying to decide exactly how angry he is?
“He was safe. From you. If I had stayed single, or if I had gone out with anyone else, you wouldn’t have stopped trying to get me back, but Duncan? Your best friend? I knew you wouldn’t encroach on his territory.” She turns back to the window.
Her answer is one he’d never considered. He’d always tried to tell himself it was because she was trying to be more ‘normal’ for her dad’s benefit.
“And you hated me that much?”
She laughs nervously, “No, I hadn’t hated you for a while by that point. I was terrified, both for you and of you, and I had to put some distance between us. Duncan? He was the safest choice.”
He looks at her for a long second, then says “Huh. I guess I’m not the only jackass in this car.”
She whips her head away from the window and glares at him, then demands, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs, “You used Duncan to distance yourself from me, I used Madison to distance myself from you.”
“I did not use Duncan!” she insists.
“Didn’t you? Then why didn’t you go with him and the baby? I mean, if you loved him so much and he loved you, why didn’t you flee the country, too?”
Now it’s her turn to shrug. She picks at a bit of fluff on her jeans, then she looks at him again and answers, “Officially? Because it’s tougher for three people to disappear than it is for two. Unofficially it was because I knew it wasn’t right.”
“What wasn’t right?”
“We weren’t. Duncan and I weren’t right together anymore. He wanted me to be innocence and cotton candy and the perfect dutiful girlfriend, and I just wanted yo- ” she stops abruptly and turns to stare out the window again.
He eases up on the gas pedal and looks at her. “You wanted what?”
“Dammit, Logan, I wanted you. The whole damn time I was with Duncan, I was wishing he was you.”
Part two: http://community.livejournal.com/gogetem_bobcat/2767.html
AUTHOR:
hokeysmoke
RATING: PG13
CHARACTER/PAIRING: Logan/Veronica
SPOILERS: All of it is up for grabs
WORD COUNT (in total): 11,982
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I'd go on about 'if I did', but we all know the "if 'ifs and buts' were candy and nuts" thing. No merry Christmases around here.
SUMMARY: It's just a ride.
A/N: I started this back in October, ironically enough, when I was visiting Oklahoma for the first time. I got the first bit written with the smarmy salesman, then nothing. It went into a folder on my desktop. When this challenge was announced, the whole thing kind of started creeping into place. And yeah, so I haven't posted any fics in a while. When I started in LJ a few months ago I was in Illinois. Now I'm trying to make Oklahoma my home. 'Nuff said. Also, many thanks to
angst_driven,
briapoe, and
mastermia for input. I'm embarrassed to say I had to edit this to include them. I should be beaten with a box of wet snickerdoodles.
Monday, mid-morning.
He pulls into the used car lot, smiling. His search may be over. He parks the Rover behind the office and walks over to the car, picturing it with various improvements.
He circles the car, scrutinizing it from every angle. The color’s not right, but that’s no obstacle. The upholstery seems to be in good shape, and a deep whiff of the interior doesn’t trigger any gag reflex. He’s about to kick the tires when he’s pulled out of his deep concentration by an overly eager voice.
“Oh yeah, that one’s a beaut Truly a fine example of American automotive engineering. Y’can’t go wrong with one of these babies.”
Logan has never had any first-hand experience with used car salesmen, he just knows of their reputations. He merely arches an eyebrow at the smarmy polyester plaid-clad man who has, so far, fulfilled Logan’s every expectation. He decides it would be fun to mess with this man’s head.
“Is that right? What’s my trade worth?”
Logan notes the barest hint of smugness in the salesman’s smile.
“Well, young man, is it in good condition? Does it run?” His earnest expression is a dead giveaway that he hasn’t seen the gleaming black behemoth.
Logan shrugs and shuffles his feet a little before he answers.
“Well, it got me here. I’ve had it a couple years, but I’ve decided it’s not really me anymore. This- ” he indicates the banana-yellow car before continuing “this brings back fond memories of a girl I used to know.”
The salesman grins. Logan can almost see him thinking “SUCKER” in flashing neon.
“Ah, a girl, is it? Well, I can’t let this baby go for less than twelve-five. Your trade ought to bring in at least seven hundred.”
Logan raises his eyebrows and runs a hand through his hair. “That much, huh?”
“Well, that’s if it checks out all right.”
“Wow. I had no idea.” Logan stands, arms akimbo.
“So, where’s your trade?”
Logan steps back and leads the salesman around the building to where the Rover sits. It’s as at-home in this mélange of crappy cars as a Lear jet in a hangar full of crop dusters would be.
“There it is.” he flips a hand over, palm up, indicating the Rover.
The salesman takes one look at the ridiculously expensive luxury SUV and his eyes grow big. Then he looks at Logan again and his hopeful expression crumbles.
“Stupid question, I know, but you’re not gonna take seven hundred for that, are you?”
“Nope. And I know that one-” he points at the banana car “isn’t worth anything close to twelve-five. It was barely worth that much when it was brand new on the showroom floor.”
The salesman looks just a little sheepish. He tries to recover the upper hand. “Look, mister, I wasn’t gonna rip you off. It’s a game, y’know? Start off high and work down to a price we both can live with. That way we feel we’ve done our jobs, right?”
“Yeah. Right. So, make me a counter-offer.”
“Six-five?”
Logan almost snorts. “Thanks, but no thanks. I saw one of these for less than a third that price across town. I’ve got no problem going back there.”
“You are one tough negotiator, mister. Nineteen hundred, and that’s practically taking food out of my kids’ mouths.”
Logan considers this. If this man has kids, they probably live at the racetrack and have short men wearing brightly colored silk riding them every day.
“Sold. Cash all right? There’s another hundred in it for you if you deliver it to this address by five tonight.”
The salesman looks at the paper Logan has handed him and his eyes grow big.
“But mister, that’s a chop shop!”
“For a decent car that’s stolen, it’s a chop shop. For a piece of crap like this, it’s a customizing wet dream.”
The two move to the office and finish the sale. As Logan drives off, he reminds the salesman to get the car to Angel’s shop by five.
I must be losing my mind, putting all this effort into reproducing the car of a girl who won’t even talk to me. Stupid, Logan. Really stupid.
After leaving the car lot, Logan drives toward San Diego and the nearest Land Rover dealership. He speaks to the sales rep from whom he had purchased the SUV less than eighteen months ago and the two shake hands before Logan leaves.
On his way back to Neptune, he goes to his financial advisor’s office and spends an hour discussing opportunities. Logan is unusually attentive during this meeting.
After that, he stops by the office of his family’s long-time investment lawyer, Gabe Shulman. Logan had been looking into some of his financial matters and something had come to his attention.
“So, Gabe, I studied up a little bit about insurance in my Econ class.”
Logan notices Shulman visibly tense, he forges on.
“From your reaction, you probably know where this is going.”
“Logan, you’re set for life. You don’t have to worry about your finances, ever.”
“That’s not the point, Gabe. Considering that the Echolls’ house was a multi-million dollar estate, even without the highly-insured works of art in it, there should have been some sort of extravagant pay-out. Is there a reason I’ve never heard anything about it? And don’t even think about giving me any excuses, ‘cuz I know a hell of a private investigator with a very impressive accountant in the wings. Even if my finances are peachy-keen, I do have the right to take an active interest in my financial affairs... And while we’re on the topic, shouldn’t there be some royalty checks coming in, too?”
“Logan, it’s not that simple. Yes, there was an insurance settlement, much of which was tied up by the Kane family during Aaron’s trial - ”
“First of all, that trial has been over for a year now, so the Kanes shouldn’t even be entering into this discussion, Second, ‘much’ isn’t ‘all’, Gabe. Where’s my money been going?”
“It’s in trust. Until you’re 25. Aaron said- ”
Logan holds up a hand to silence Shulman. He’s seething with barely-controlled anger. “That’s enough, Shulman. Aaron was a philanderer, an abusive husband, an incompetent father and a pathetic excuse for an actor. I’d add ‘murderer’ in there, but in true weasel-lawyer fashion you’d argue that he’d been acquitted of that charge. The fact is, I don’t care what Aaron said. He’s dead and the world is well rid of him! I want a full accounting of where each and every penny has gone since that bastard was incarcerated by the late Sheriff Lamb, and I want it by the end of next week. Every. Penny. Got it?”
Gabe nods balefully, and Logan leaves the building, smiling to himself.
His next stop takes him to a Honda dealership where he picks up a low-mileage ‘certified pre-owned’ 2006 Civic for under $16,000. A pretty good price if Kelley’s Blue Book is to be believed. As a plus, the charcoal grey of the car looks good, well, good enough and it won’t draw unnecessary attention.
The last stop for the night is his newly-acquired beach-front condo, where he starts making more plans.
Over the next three days, the Range Rover is picked up by a driver from the dealership and a check for it has been cashed. The proceeds from the sale of the SUV are split several ways: much of it goes into savings, some is dropped at his financial advisor’s office, he stashes some of it in his backpack and takes some of the cash to Angel’s to pay for the restoration of the Le Baron.
Angel doesn’t usually let clients onto the shop floor, but it’s after hours and Logan’s paying enough for the work on the Chrysler that Angel can clearly see the advantage to showing off the progress that’s already been made.
At first glance, the car now looks like Veronica’s old one. Closer inspection reveals subtle improvements: real leather seats, tinted windows, the dash has been re-worked to accept a Bang & Olufsen sound system - one normally only found in high-end Audi vehicles. Angel proudly proclaims it’s also now a type of hybrid.
“You know we pulled the original engine. That thing was a piece of shit. Now this baby will run on biodiesel, ethanol mixes, and electric, all with just a flick of a switch. And pickup? This thing’s got it. People gonna see this car and think it’s crap, but you gonna have it tricked out good, amigo. Too bad you won’t let me really fix it up. We could add flames, and I got some rims - spinners, even...”
Logan grins, but says “Nah. That’s overkill, Angel. We’re going for low-key here, but I like what you’ve done so far. When will it be ready?”
Angel makes a little motion with his chin, indicating the car, “When do you want it ready?”
“Any chance of picking it up tomorrow morning?” Logan asks this with raised eyebrows.
“That’s reachin’, amigo. I’m gonna hafta pay my guys extra.”
“You know I’m good for it.”
Angel smiles broadly. “Tomorrow morning it is, then. Cash, right?”
“You know it. There was no problem getting those other special features installed, was there?”
“That thing with the locks and the windows was kind of tricky, but we did finally get it.”
Logan smiles, “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, probably about ten.”
“I’ll make sure it’s ready.”
“And that other thing we discussed? Is that going to work for you?”
“Amigo, for what you’re paying, I’ll make sure to fit it in.”
Logan leaves, smiling.
Friday, early morning
Logan calls Angel to make sure the Le Baron will be ready, then he calls the other shop he usually deals with.
“You ready, Tom?”
“As ready as ever. The plan still the same?”
“Yep. You know what you’re looking for, right?”
Logan hears a sheet of paper rustle, then Tom answers, “Silver Saturn hybrid SUV, California plate number 6BC dash A5zero4, right?”
“That’s the one. There’ll be a petite blonde driving it, and she should be somewhere near Woodford Hall on the Hearst campus. When you see her park, give me a call and tell me exactly where you are before you do your thing.”
“You got it.” Tom pauses for a moment, then says “You’re sure this is legal?”
“Tom, you’re just picking it up to have your guys detail it. It’s a surprise for my girl. Besides, would I do anything to cause you trouble with the law?”
“You don’t want me to answer that, do you?”
“No. Just stick with the plan. ‘K? Later.”
“All right, Logan. Later.”
Then Logan takes a cab to Angel’s to pick up the Le Baron.
Angel goes over all the new bells and whistles he’s installed in the car. Logan’s trying to pay attention, but he’s so excited about his plan that he finds his mind wandering. Still, he manages to nod and say “Okay” at the right times, and finally Angel tells him the price for the work. Without any question, Logan counts out the bills and adds a nice tip, then gets in the Le Baron and adjusts the seat and mirrors. With a final wave he pulls out of the garage, nodding at Angel. Angel nods back at him, then resumes counting the wad of cash, smiling.
Logan drives the car around town, getting a feel for it, trying some of the new features and waiting for Tom to call. He’s only five minutes from campus when the call comes.
“You find her?” Logan is eager.
“Yep. North side of the Woodford lot. You’ll see the wrecker. You can follow me in. How far away are you?”
“Just a few minutes. I’ll be right there.”
True to his word, Logan quickly pulls up behind Tom’s wrecker and then follows him into the lot to where the Saturn is parked. Within 10 minutes, Tom has the SUV loaded onto the back of the wrecker, and Logan hands over the spare key that Veronica had apparently forgotten about.
“I’ll make sure it’s picked up on Monday, all right? Make it sparkle for my girl.” Logan says as he hands five crisp one hundred dollar bills to Tom.
“As if we’d do anything less.”
Logan smiles to himself as he gets back into the Le Baron and backs into the space that the Saturn recently occupied. He makes a couple more calls, then he tips the seat back a bit and waits.
He sees her about an hour later. She’s walking toward the space where her Saturn should be. She doesn’t notice its absence because she’s rummaging for the keys. When she has them in hand, she walks right up to where she last saw it and stops in her tracks at seeing the Le Baron.
She looks to the left, then looks to the right. She startles a little bit when the passenger door opens and she hears a familiar voice telling her to get in.
“What? Where’s my car?”
“Just get in, Veronica.”
She walks to the open door and looks inside. When she sees Logan, she rolls her eyes and is about to walk away when she hears him softly say “Please get in.” She relents, and sits down in the seat with a huff.
“What did you do with my car? And what are you doing with this piece of shit?”
“I’m having your car detailed, and this,” he spreads his open hands, indicating the new and improved Le Baron, “is not a piece of shit.” He lovingly caresses the dashboard.
“Wait, did you say detailed? Why would you do that?” She asks, shaking her head in disbelief, her tone abrupt. “What’s the point of this, Logan?”
“Simple. The woman who drives the Saturn won’t talk to me, but the one who drove the Le Baron, she was... a friend.”
She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, assessing his statement. He doesn’t seem to notice that she’s watching him.
“If you hadn’t been such a jackass, the woman who drives the Saturn would talk to you. And the woman who drove the Le Baron? She didn’t know how to deal with you any better than the one who drives the Saturn does.”
“Can we not? Can you refrain from bringing up my jackassery? I promise, I won’t say anything about what a bitch you’ve been this year.”
She glares at him, then puts her hand on the handle and tries to open the door, but it’s locked. She can’t unlock it, either. She tries her window, but it won’t lower more than three or four inches.
“What’s going on? Why won’t the door unlock?”
“Must be some glitch.” He makes a show of trying his own with no luck.
“What about the top? Does it work?” She sounds more than a little frantic.
He releases the latches and presses the button which is supposed to raise or lower the top. Nothing happens.
“Dammit! Lemme call the guy who did the work.” He picks up his phone and dials.
“Hey, man, the door locks...” pause, “They’re stuck or something.” pause and nod, “I don’t care if you’re not at the shop...” pause again, “Well, how ‘bout I come to your house? You’ve got tools there too, right?” Another pause. “Yeah,” pause, “Look, just give me your address.” He pantomimes a pen and paper to Veronica who immediately digs the items out of her bag and hands them to him. “98372 Pacific Coast Highway, Chula VISTA? Man, that’s two hours away!” He sighs, then shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to be stuck in my car all weekend. Just... don’t go anywhere ”
During the call, Veronica has been watching Logan intently. When he says “Chula Vista” her eyes get big and she starts shaking her head. When he ends the call, she starts yelling.
“What the hell is going on? Chula Vista? Is this some kind of sick joke? What the hell are you thinking? I can’t be stuck in a car with you for two hours!”
“Look, I know it’s a great hardship for you to spend any time at all in my company, but remember I’m stuck here too. You being a bitch about it isn’t going to make it any easier on either of us.”
“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have to be that way if you weren’t such a jackass. Being a bitch is kind of the standard method for coping with a jackass.”
Logan looks away and smiles slightly. She’s behaving exactly as he had imagined she would. He starts the car and pulls out of the space.
“What are you doing? Where are you taking me?”
“Um, I’m driving. And I’m not so much taking you as you’re riding with me because we have no choice. Get with the program, willya?”
She glares at him. “There are laws against kidnaping. Federal laws.”
He glances at her then turns his eyes back to the road, “You’re the expert. And I am not kidnaping you. You got into this car willingly, without force or coercion of any kind.”
She curses herself inwardly for still having a soft spot for Logan Echolls, then, her face grim and her lips set in a tight line, she digs around in her bag and pulls out a textbook. She opens it to somewhere in the middle and begins to read, yellow highlighter at the ready.
Logan glances at her again, then, when he sees she’s doing her best to ignore him, he turns on the stereo. The twin tweeters silently rise from the surface of the dashboard. Logan’s surreptitiously watches as Veronica notices the tweeters. He smiles slightly at the look of surprise on her face.
The music has been specially selected for this trip. It’s on a CD he made while they were together and includes songs he knows she loves. He makes a point of looking ahead at the road when she tries to watch him.
“I know what you’re doing.” Her tone is accusatory.
“Didn’t I once tell you I don’t have time to be guilty of every accusation you hurl at me? I’m as much a prisoner in this car as you are.”
This shuts her up, for now.
They ride in silence for the next ten minutes, Veronica’s eyes fixing on any point, as long as it’s outside the car. Logan catches the motion of her left hand as it caresses the fine leather of the seat.
She finally asks “How’d they manage to restore the ‘new car smell’ of this thing?”
He shrugs, “Magic? I dunno. Maybe it’s just the smell of the new upholstery... Y’know, I’m surprised at how nicely this car handles.”
“You don’t think I drove one of these just to flaunt my wealth and good taste, do you?”
He looks at her. She’s trying desperately to not smile. He arches both eyebrows at her, and she has to look away from him to keep her expression grim.
After a lull, Logan is the first to speak, “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Apparently so, since you just did.”
“No, seriously.”
She nods.
He takes a deep breath and clenches the steering wheel tighter, “What happened between us?”
“You’re joking. You do know that Chula Vista is only an hour and forty five minutes away now, right? I don’t know that I could count all the things that happened between us in that short span of time.” She looks away again.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. What happened between us last year, when you were on the trail of the Hearst rapist?”
She looks at him quickly, then studies her hands for a while.
Impatient, Logan interrupts, “Veronica?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking... What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know, but it was like you stopped caring about us all of a sudden.”
She doesn’t have an answer, so she turns away again and stares out the window, her book forgotten in her lap.
Logan drives, occasionally glancing at her. He sighs and focuses his attention on the road again.
Eventually, she quietly says “You got too close.”
“What?”
She looks at him intently, “You got too close, wanted too much.”
“All I wanted was for you be safe and to love me as much as I loved you. How the fuck is that wanting too much?”
She looks away again.
“I was right. You never need anything. Not even me.” He’s deflated. Defeated. He’s ready to give up the whole plan, come clean and tell her everything.
“That’s not true,” she says this so quietly that he’s not sure he really heard it.
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“No, I really want to know.”
She takes a deep breath, looks at her hands again, then looks out the window and begins talking, “I said it’s not true. I did need you.”
“Then what happened, Veronica?”
“I realized I needed you.”
“And...?”
“And it scared me, all right? Are you happy now that you’ve gotten that out of me?” She tries the window again, to no avail. “God, what is it with this car?”
“Maybe it wants us to talk.”
She glares at him.
He steels himself, then answers, “No, getting you to admit to me that you needed me or that it scared you was never a priority for me, so I’m not happy about it. I’m glad you admitted it to yourself, but it appears that I’m a day late and a dollar short, huh?”
She looks away again. “And again, everything boils down to time and money.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Just... trying to keep the awkward silences at bay.”
Now it’s Logan’s turn to be quiet.
After a few minutes he says “I miss you.”
She looks at him for a long minute, then looks away again.
“What do you want from me, Logan?”
He won’t, can’t answer. Not without scaring her off, so he bluffs, “What makes you think I want anything after so long?”
She looks at him incredulously. He can tell she’s trying to choose her words carefully. Finally, ticking the points off on her fingers, she says, “You bought the same make and model of my first car. You had it restored or customized or whatever. You had my Saturn towed. You lured me into this car from which I now can’t escape. You’re playing a mix tape of all my favorite songs. Do I have to go on?”
“Huh. Nothin’ gets past you, does it? Maybe I just wanted to pretend.”
“So you did do this on purpose!”
“And that’s another reason we didn’t work out.”
“Because you’re a manipulative jackass?”
“No. Because you’ve got that accusatory bitch problem.”
“Stop the car. Now!” She starts rummaging in her bag as he pulls onto the shoulder of the road.
“Why? What are you going to do? Claw your way out?”
She pulls out a “Life Hammer” and is trying to find a window to break which won’t result in her being showered with safety glass.
He reaches over and grabs the wrist attached to the hand holding the tool.
She looks him in the eyes for the first time in months, and he sees barely contained fury looking back at him.
“No. Please don’t, Veronica. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.” As he holds her wrist the knuckles of his hand graze across her left breast. Her nipple is a hard nub, and his cock, which has been alert since first seeing her is immediately just as hard as her nipple.
Her chest is heaving, and, without realizing she’s doing it, her eyes travel down to his lips, then they dart back up to his eyes. Her eyes soften before she looks away.
“Every time,” she says in frustration, her body suddenly losing its tension.
“‘Every time’ what?”
She takes a deep breath, “Every time we’re together, we get mad at each other. It’s so predictable.”
“Why do you think that is?” His grip on her wrist has relaxed, but he hasn’t let go.
“Oh I don’t know. Probably because you’re a jackass and I’m a bitch.”
He looks at her, still holding her wrist, and he starts to smile, then chuckle. She’s trying not to laugh, but the effort proves to be too much, and soon she’s chuckling with him.
He waits for her to get quiet again before continuing, “It wasn’t all bad, was it? Us, I mean.”
“No, Logan. It wasn’t all bad.”
“So, you’re okay? You’re past breaking the windows of this finely crafted and meticulously maintained example of American automobiles?”
At this statement she smiles, then nods. He’s now loosely holding her wrist, staring at her and he can’t stop himself, “You’re so beautiful,” he finally says, and the mood in the car changes.
She rapidly turns away, pulling her wrist out of his grasp. She gently rubs her wrist.
“Please don’t,” she says quietly.
Reluctantly, he turns away from her and looks in the rearview mirror to see if it’s safe to get back on the highway. After a moment, he shakes his head and looks back at her.
“Why not?” he asks, just as quietly.
She looks at him again, “Because we don’t work. Not for long, anyway.”
“But why not, Veronica? What I keep seeing is that you pull away and then you fucking run. Like loving me is terrifying.”
She looks away, “Loving you is terrifying. It’s intense and so overwhelming that I have to pull away. I’ve never given myself over to anyone the way I did with you. What if... what if you take over all of me? I can’t be nothing, Logan, I can’t be that bit of fluff I used to be before... everything.”
He looks at her, then puts his hand near hers on the seat, “Veronica, look at me... please?”
She slowly turns from the window toward him and looks him in the eyes.
“First of all, you? You could never be nothing. Not possible. You’re too strong. Second, it’s that way for me, too. Loving you is terrifying for me. God, I don’t know what it is. You’re like... like kryptonite. Sometimes you make me feel so strong, and sometimes... sometimes you strip me of all my strength. And stupid me, I keep coming back for more. Do you know why?”
“Because you’re not used to not getting what you want,” she says quietly.
He huffs out, like he’s been struck in the chest. Then he takes her hand, and holds onto it gently, but firmly as she tries to pull it away, “Not even close. I keep coming back for more because even though loving you scares the shit out of me, it also felt so good, so fulfilling to have you love me back, even occasionally, that I couldn’t imagine living without it. You’ve been the only good thing in my life - our relationship was the one thing that made me feel like I could face any other horrors the world threw at me. How could you expect me to just let that go?”
She’s still looking at him, but she’s given up on trying to take her hand back.
He watches her for a little longer, then says, “Yeah, so excuse me for wanting to pretend when I got the chance. I’ll try to control myself from now on,” he drops her hand and zips onto the highway after glancing to see if the way was clear.
When she looks at him again, his jaw is set, and he’s staring at the road ahead.
She fixes her eyes on the book in her lap for several minutes. Finally, she looks up at him again and asks, “Then why?”
He turns up the sound and ignores her. She waits for a minute. Two minutes. Three. Then tentatively puts a hand on his arm and just leaves it there, letting its warmth sink into his flesh.
He still doesn’t acknowledge her, so she studies the stereo console for a few seconds, then turns the sound down. After she does it, she asks again, “Logan, why?”
He looks at her and asks “Why what?”
“You know what.”
“Why Madi- ”
She cuts him off and answers “Yes.”
“I might as well ask ‘why Piz’.”
“Piz isn’t the issue here.”
“And Madison is?”
“You know how I feel about her. You know what she did to me. I just don’t understand how you could do... that... with her.”
“Why does it matter? Seriously, Veronica, senior year of high school, when you were back with Duncan... how could you do that with him? My best friend, and my girlfriend, in the next fucking room? And you just thought that would be all right?”
She takes a deep breath before answering, “I wasn’t your girlfriend then, and no. I never thought it would be all right.”
“Then why? Tell me, ‘cause I’ve been dying to know for the past two years,” he punctuates the ‘two years’ with two hits of the flat of his hand against the steering wheel, “Why?”
When she doesn’t answer right away, he steals a look at her. Is she trying to gauge his mood? Trying to decide exactly how angry he is?
“He was safe. From you. If I had stayed single, or if I had gone out with anyone else, you wouldn’t have stopped trying to get me back, but Duncan? Your best friend? I knew you wouldn’t encroach on his territory.” She turns back to the window.
Her answer is one he’d never considered. He’d always tried to tell himself it was because she was trying to be more ‘normal’ for her dad’s benefit.
“And you hated me that much?”
She laughs nervously, “No, I hadn’t hated you for a while by that point. I was terrified, both for you and of you, and I had to put some distance between us. Duncan? He was the safest choice.”
He looks at her for a long second, then says “Huh. I guess I’m not the only jackass in this car.”
She whips her head away from the window and glares at him, then demands, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs, “You used Duncan to distance yourself from me, I used Madison to distance myself from you.”
“I did not use Duncan!” she insists.
“Didn’t you? Then why didn’t you go with him and the baby? I mean, if you loved him so much and he loved you, why didn’t you flee the country, too?”
Now it’s her turn to shrug. She picks at a bit of fluff on her jeans, then she looks at him again and answers, “Officially? Because it’s tougher for three people to disappear than it is for two. Unofficially it was because I knew it wasn’t right.”
“What wasn’t right?”
“We weren’t. Duncan and I weren’t right together anymore. He wanted me to be innocence and cotton candy and the perfect dutiful girlfriend, and I just wanted yo- ” she stops abruptly and turns to stare out the window again.
He eases up on the gas pedal and looks at her. “You wanted what?”
“Dammit, Logan, I wanted you. The whole damn time I was with Duncan, I was wishing he was you.”
Part two: http://community.livejournal.com/gogetem_bobcat/2767.html