J2 Big Bang Gone In An Instant (Or Here Til The Bitter End) Jared/Jensen NC-17 9/13
Back To Chapter 8
Genevieve watched Sandy step in behind Jared and she held her breath. She was disgusted at the way the smaller girl would barely look Jared in the eye and tried to move around him as if to avoid any confrontation with him. When he pushed by her without a second glance, Genevieve was pleased with the hurt expression that flashed in Sandy’s eyes. It wasn’t until he was across the room and in the bathroom before she spoke.
“You make me sick.”
Sandy looked as though she’d been slapped in the face. Danneel laid a hand on Genevieve’s arm as if to calm her down. Instead, she pulled her arm away from Danni and pointed her finger in accusation at her ‘friend’.
“Don’t you dare look at me like that, like you fucking care.”
“When did I become the bad guy?” Sandy argued hotly. “I’m not the one fucking around on him.”
Danneel practically had to hold Genevieve back so that she didn’t attack Sandy. They all knew she would have if given the chance.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Danneel yelled when Sandy’s words sunk into her hazy brain.
“Well, look at him,” Sandy pointed in Jensen’s direction. “They’ve been in that corner all fucking night.”
“And you didn’t tell Jared? You didn’t think to warn him?” Genevieve yelled. “You are a horrible friend Sandra McCoy.”
“Jensen is Chris’ best friend,” Sandy argued. Both girls in front of her raised an eyebrow and shook their head. “It’s not my fight. I’m not getting in the middle of those two.”
“He’s MY fucking best friend too,” Danneel stated. “But I still wouldn’t have let Jared come in here not prepared for it. He means more to me than that, and I would have thought he meant more to you too. I guess not.”
“I hope Chris is worth it,” Genevieve sneered hotly. She couldn’t believe that Sandy would have chosen Chris over her friendship with Jared, especially knowing how devastated Jared would be. She saw tears in Sandy’s eyes and laughed meanly. “Don’t you dare cry, like you give a shit. He’s broken Sandy. Jared’s broken and you all acted like it was nothing, like he didn’t even matter. Fuck you.”
Danneel gasped which caught Genevieve’s attention. They watched Jared emerge from the men’s room before heading over to the table where his boyfriend sat with some other man who wasn’t him. The conversation took less than two minutes, and while Genevieve could see the devastation on Jared’s face, she also saw how affected Jensen was by it all. She couldn’t completely hate the other man, seeing how much pain he too was in, but she didn’t appreciate whatever games he was playing with her best friend.
The three women watched Jared walk out of the bar without looking back. Genevieve wanted to follow him, to make sure he was okay but Danneel stopped her.
“Just give him time. He knows we’re here for him if he needs us. He’ll let us know.”
Genevieve was going to argue but decided it was probably best to do just that. She looked at her girlfriend and leaned in, needing her support.
“You, Jenny, are a world class fucking idiot,” Chris lamented on the microphone.
The table where all of their friends sat turned to look at the corner where Jensen stood, all wearing masks of confusion. Genevieve watched Chad’s eyes widen as he stood up and joined them at the bar.
“What the fuck did we miss?” He seemed to be genuinely confused, like he hadn’t been aware that anything serious had actually been going on around them. Genevieve fought not to cry against Danneel’s chest, her whole body trembling with anger and frustration but most of all worry. Her phone buzzed indicating a new message and she checked the text, reading that Jared was going home. He asked that they give him time to be alone and he didn’t want to see anyone. She looked up and locked eyes with Danneel and they held a silent conversation in their depths.
“Sleep at Chris’ tonight,” Genevieve ordered Sandy. When it looked like the other girl was going to argue she sighed. “Please. Please sleep at Chris’ tonight. The last thing Jay is going to need is a fucking circus in the morning and it’s not like he’s really going to want to look at your face right now.” After much deliberation, Genevieve watched Sandy concede. She let out a breath of relief and turned her back on the rest of her friends.
No one was more surprised than her when she turned to see Jensen standing beside them, looking stunned and lost.
“Danni?” he whispered brokenly. “I…I think I fucked up.” His eyes were wet with unshed tears and he looked pale and devastated.
“You sure did Sherlock,” Genevieve was furious. She was about to yell at him when Danneel stopped her, Genevieve reacted as though she’d been slapped.
“Gen, stop.”
“No. No he deserves to hear this.”
Danneel spoke softly, trying to diffuse the situation. “He knows. Nothing you can say is going to make him feel worse.”
“No, but I might feel better,” Genevieve and Danneel stood chest to chest, ignoring everyone around them.
“He doesn’t deserve…”
Genevieve stepped back. The blood boiling in her ears drowned out everything else Danneel said. “He doesn’t deserve? What about Jared, what does he deserve?” Turning to glare at Jensen, Genevieve saw him shrink back.
Danneel stood her ground and refused to budge. “He’s my best friend, Gen. I’m not going to just abandon him.”
“Oh. So that’s how this is.” Genevieve looked around at all of their friends who were circled around them awkwardly. She felt overwhelmed, not only on her own behalf but for Jared. Jared who wouldn’t ever hurt anyone intentionally. Jared who would do everything humanly possible to avoid his friends being hurt. Jared who was at home alone while the one person who had hurt him was surrounded by friends, friends who did their best the entire night to avoid any confrontation or conflict. Best friends who had abandoned him just when he needed them most. It wasn’t fair and she couldn’t stand being there one more minute. Genevieve threw her hands up in the air in defeat. “Fine. Fine.” She turned to face Danneel, a feeling of betrayal overwhelming in her chest. She wouldn’t meet her girlfriend’s gaze. “I’ll call you.”
“Genevieve,” Danneel’s face went white and Genevieve saw her stiffen in surprise.
“It’s okay,” Genevieve lied. “Your FRIEND needs you.” She gave an angry wipe of her eyes with the back of her hand. “I need to go home and make sure MY FRIEND is okay, seeing that no one seems to give a shit about him right now.” As she passed Jensen she bared her teeth and snarled at him. “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“Well son,” Chris approached as Genevieve exited the bar. “You’ve fucked it all up now, haven’t you?”
Silence fell over the group; no one would even dare to speak.
“Well this isn’t awkward,” Chris joked. He exchanged a look with Danneel and sprang into action taking over the situation. “Steve went to find Gen and is going to take her home. You can deal with THAT in the morning,” he pointed at Danneel who flinched. “You two,” Chris pointed at Mike and Tom, “I don’t care what you do, you should just be thankful you don’t live at either of our houses.”
Both men gave a relieved grin and promised they would catch up with everyone later.
“You two” Chris indicated to Sophia and Chad, “I’d probably steer clear of Genevieve for the next little while. Try and make sure Jay doesn’t off himself, please. When Jenny gets his head out of his ass he’s going to want Jared in one piece.”
“Hey,” Jensen gave a half hearted attempt at being offended. When he was met with glares from all of his friends he shrank back. “I’m just going to wait outside.”
“I’ll go with you,” Danneel whispered as she took Jensen’s hand. “Chris?”
“I’ll be right out Danni,” Chris turned to Sandy who was crying silently at the bar. Sophia had one arm around her shoulder and was whispering in her ear softly. “You gonna go home tonight San?”
She shook her head. “No. They don’t want me at home. Gen said to stay away.” She started to cry harder. “She hates me and Jared probably hates me...”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Sophia assured her friend. “She’s really fucking pissed right now, but she doesn’t hate you. She’s just worried about Jared.”
“And Jared could never hate anyone, it’s not in his genetic makeup or anything,” Chad added trying to make her feel better. It sounded suspiciously like he was trying to convince himself but he offered a weak smile when she stared up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Chris pulled Sandy close to him and kissed the top of her head affectionately. “So much fucking drama tonight,” he couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped. “It’s like everyone drank the kool-aid and went nuts.”
Chad followed Sophia in giving Sandy a tight hug and shook Chris’ hand. “Is he going to be okay?” Chad asked, nodding in the direction that Jensen went. Chris could only offer a shrug in response.
“He has to be. THEY have to be.”
“Let me know if there’s anything we can do.”
“Go be with Jared” Sandy said miserably. “He’s all alone.”
“How did things get so fucked up?” Chad asked to no one in particular. They said their goodbyes and finally it was only Sandy and Chris remaining at the bar. Chris pulled Sandy in and held her tight.
“Talk to me, beautiful.”
Sandy let out a new wave of sobs, her tiny body shaking with the force of her cries. “Genevieve was right, I didn’t want to make things awkward…I should have told Jared that Jen was here, that he was with someone. I should have gone up to Jensen and figured out what he was doing. I should have done something.”
“It’s not your responsibility,” Chris admitted. “Yeah, you were here and you saw him. But they’re big boys, and if Jen was going to fuck up, he was going to do it anyways. You couldn’t have stopped it.”
“But I could have been there for Jay, I could have warned him.”
“Oh Sandra, there is one thing you will have to remember,” Chris spoke sagely. “There was no way anyone was going to win in this. Let’s go, things have to look better in the morning.”
“How can you be sure?” Sandy asked, letting Chris lead her out of the bar towards his car.
“Honestly?” he asked with a chuckle. “Because they can’t get worse.”
Everything was dark, there was a dead weight on top of him and Jensen couldn’t breathe. He tried to open his eyes but when they fluttered open, there was a curtain of red covering them. Groaning, he pushed against whatever was pinning him down and screamed when he felt it move and push back.
“That’s my tit,” a loud voice boomed in his ear causing his head to throb painfully.
“What the fuck is it doing in my hand?”
“Keeping it warm,” Danneel struggled to untangle their arms and legs and sit up. Her elbow came dangerously close to clipping his groin and Jensen rolled off of what appeared to be the couch to get away from her. Jensen sat on the floor as Danneel was sprawled on the couch, both still half asleep and worse for wear after the long night they had endured. “You okay?” She asked as she slid onto the floor beside her best friend.
Jensen ducked to avoid Danni’s hand running through his sleep mussed hair. He stood up and offered a shrug. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Don’t be an asshole.”
“I guess it’s too late for that, now isn’t it Danni,” Jensen’s voice was sharp and his eyes dull.
“Did you want to explain that to me? I mean, what the fuck Jensen? What the actual fuck?”
“I don’t need this from you Danni,” his voice was hard and Jensen stalked into the kitchen to avoid conversation.
“Oh no, you don’t,” Danneel followed him into the kitchen and spun him around so that they were face to face. Jensen didn’t want to face the consequences of his actions the night before. He didn’t want to think about what he’d done or the expression on Jared’s face as he walked out of that bar and possibly out of his life. And he certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Danneel. “I deserve an explanation.”
“Since when do you deserve an explanation? When did this become about you?”
“I’d say about the time she took your side over Jared’s and might have fucked things up with Gen,” Chris entered the kitchen wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. His hair was tied back and it looked as though he had been awake for some time. Jensen watched him pour himself a cup of coffee before leaning against the island to regard the two friends.
Jensen’s stomach fluttered and he looked back and forth between Chris and Danneel. He couldn’t help but let out a humourless laugh. “Oh, and I guess your relationship is on the rocks because of me too. Can I take responsibility for that too? Anything else you want to blame on me? The national debt? The war in Afghanistan?”
“Don’t be a bitch Jenny,” Chris scolded. His smile turned into a look of genuine concern. “What the fuck is up with you?”
Jensen’s defenses rose, he wanted to argue, to fight back until finally he couldn’t do it any longer. He sagged against the table and sat down on one of the chairs. “I need to talk to him.” He put his face in his hands and let his shoulders sag with exhaustion.
“Yeah Jenny, you do. Fix it princess. Because if you don’t, then you’re stupider than anyone gives you credit for,” Chris’ laughter was grating on Jensen’s nerves.
“I’m glad that you find this so fucking funny,” Jensen spat out. “I’d think you’d be happy about this, seeing that you wanted this all along.” He was surprised at the fire he saw in his best friend’s eyes, the anger that crossed his face.
“Fuck you Jensen. Don’t you dare turn this around on me.” Chris stalked across the kitchen so that he was standing in front of Jensen. “I’ve been watching you be an asshole for weeks, treating him like shit and watching him take it. You’re one of my best friends, but don’t you for a fucking second think that means I’m on your side in this. You nearly broke that boy last night, for what? For nothing.”
Jensen jumped up and stood nose to nose with Chris. “You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. Don’t pretend you have any idea what is going on.”
“Something’s bothering you, I get that. But either suck it up or deal with it, but don’t push everyone away, because you’ll wake up one day and find that you’re all alone, and it won’t be anyone’s fault but your own.”
The truth was a slap in Jensen’s face. It wasn’t anything he didn’t already know, but hearing Chris’ words and seeing the apologetic agreement on Danneel’s expression hit Jensen hard. These were his two best friends, two people who would tell him the truth no matter what the consequences. He could always trust them to shoot straight with him and hearing their words set something off in his head. It was a reversal of the discussion that he and Chris had months earlier when it was Chris pushing everyone away. Without a word, Jensen gave a nod to his friends and headed to his bedroom. He passed Sandy on the stairs, not surprised when she wouldn’t meet his eyes. She pressed herself as close to the wall as she could, as though trying to make herself invisible and rushed the remaining way when he passed. A glance at his clock told him it was just before noon.
Jensen had a lot of thinking to do. He owed Jared an apology, that much was certain. With that apology he deserved an explanation. That was going to be much harder. It wasn’t that Jensen didn’t want to talk to Jared about the things that were bothering him, it was more that he didn’t know how. And the more understanding, the more Jared wanted to listen, to help, the harder Jensen was pushing him away. All because of a stupid need to be in control, to uphold the appearance that he knew what he wanted to do, that he had everything in order and wasn’t more lost or confused than he had ever been in his entire life.
Jensen’s pulling away had absolutely nothing to do with Jared and everything to do with himself, but he couldn’t imagine a way to make Jared understand that. Especially now when he had hurt him so viciously.
Once he showered, cleaned up and got dressed, Jensen knew he couldn’t waste another minute. He bounded down the stairs after he’d taken a few Tylenol to erase the remaining cobwebs from his still hung over head. Chris and Sandy were sitting on the couch silently, hands clasped between them while Danneel was curled up in a chair, covered in a blanket looking absolutely miserable.
“Danni, you okay?” Jensen asked as he sat on the arm of the chair she was on. He ran his fingers through her hair, wiping her tears with his other hand.
“Yeah, I just…didn’t sleep and Gen’s pissed. She won’t answer my texts and my calls are going straight to voice mail…”
Jensen blinked back a few tears of his own. Regret pooled deep in his stomach at the range of people his actions had affected. “I’m going to fix this. I’m sorry.”
“Oh Jenny,” Danneel said with a watery smile. “It’s not your fault. She had to understand why I stood by you. Why I couldn’t abandon you last night. And if she doesn’t, then maybe it’s for the best.”
“You should have gone with her.” Jensen shrugged as everyone in the room gave him surprised expressions. “I don’t deserve this understanding. I fucked up. You should have gone with them, you should have been with her last night, not me.”
Danneel stood and wrapped her arms around Jensen’s shoulders as she pulled him close. “Oh baby, don’t say that. You do deserve it. You fucked up, that’s right but we’ve all made mistakes.”
“Well, I need to go over there and talk to him. He has to know how much I love him and how sorry I am.”
“She won’t let you see him,” Sandy’s voice was barely audible from the corner of the room. Jensen met her gaze and watched her shake her head. “Gen, you’ll be lucky to get through the door.”
It wasn’t something he didn’t already know. Jensen knew how protective Genevieve was over Jared and was glad that he had her in his life. But it was worth the effort, and worth proving himself, not only to Genevieve and Jared but to himself. “Then I’ll just have to wait.”
On To Chapter 10
Masterpost
Genevieve watched Sandy step in behind Jared and she held her breath. She was disgusted at the way the smaller girl would barely look Jared in the eye and tried to move around him as if to avoid any confrontation with him. When he pushed by her without a second glance, Genevieve was pleased with the hurt expression that flashed in Sandy’s eyes. It wasn’t until he was across the room and in the bathroom before she spoke.
“You make me sick.”
Sandy looked as though she’d been slapped in the face. Danneel laid a hand on Genevieve’s arm as if to calm her down. Instead, she pulled her arm away from Danni and pointed her finger in accusation at her ‘friend’.
“Don’t you dare look at me like that, like you fucking care.”
“When did I become the bad guy?” Sandy argued hotly. “I’m not the one fucking around on him.”
Danneel practically had to hold Genevieve back so that she didn’t attack Sandy. They all knew she would have if given the chance.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Danneel yelled when Sandy’s words sunk into her hazy brain.
“Well, look at him,” Sandy pointed in Jensen’s direction. “They’ve been in that corner all fucking night.”
“And you didn’t tell Jared? You didn’t think to warn him?” Genevieve yelled. “You are a horrible friend Sandra McCoy.”
“Jensen is Chris’ best friend,” Sandy argued. Both girls in front of her raised an eyebrow and shook their head. “It’s not my fight. I’m not getting in the middle of those two.”
“He’s MY fucking best friend too,” Danneel stated. “But I still wouldn’t have let Jared come in here not prepared for it. He means more to me than that, and I would have thought he meant more to you too. I guess not.”
“I hope Chris is worth it,” Genevieve sneered hotly. She couldn’t believe that Sandy would have chosen Chris over her friendship with Jared, especially knowing how devastated Jared would be. She saw tears in Sandy’s eyes and laughed meanly. “Don’t you dare cry, like you give a shit. He’s broken Sandy. Jared’s broken and you all acted like it was nothing, like he didn’t even matter. Fuck you.”
Danneel gasped which caught Genevieve’s attention. They watched Jared emerge from the men’s room before heading over to the table where his boyfriend sat with some other man who wasn’t him. The conversation took less than two minutes, and while Genevieve could see the devastation on Jared’s face, she also saw how affected Jensen was by it all. She couldn’t completely hate the other man, seeing how much pain he too was in, but she didn’t appreciate whatever games he was playing with her best friend.
The three women watched Jared walk out of the bar without looking back. Genevieve wanted to follow him, to make sure he was okay but Danneel stopped her.
“Just give him time. He knows we’re here for him if he needs us. He’ll let us know.”
Genevieve was going to argue but decided it was probably best to do just that. She looked at her girlfriend and leaned in, needing her support.
“You, Jenny, are a world class fucking idiot,” Chris lamented on the microphone.
The table where all of their friends sat turned to look at the corner where Jensen stood, all wearing masks of confusion. Genevieve watched Chad’s eyes widen as he stood up and joined them at the bar.
“What the fuck did we miss?” He seemed to be genuinely confused, like he hadn’t been aware that anything serious had actually been going on around them. Genevieve fought not to cry against Danneel’s chest, her whole body trembling with anger and frustration but most of all worry. Her phone buzzed indicating a new message and she checked the text, reading that Jared was going home. He asked that they give him time to be alone and he didn’t want to see anyone. She looked up and locked eyes with Danneel and they held a silent conversation in their depths.
“Sleep at Chris’ tonight,” Genevieve ordered Sandy. When it looked like the other girl was going to argue she sighed. “Please. Please sleep at Chris’ tonight. The last thing Jay is going to need is a fucking circus in the morning and it’s not like he’s really going to want to look at your face right now.” After much deliberation, Genevieve watched Sandy concede. She let out a breath of relief and turned her back on the rest of her friends.
No one was more surprised than her when she turned to see Jensen standing beside them, looking stunned and lost.
“Danni?” he whispered brokenly. “I…I think I fucked up.” His eyes were wet with unshed tears and he looked pale and devastated.
“You sure did Sherlock,” Genevieve was furious. She was about to yell at him when Danneel stopped her, Genevieve reacted as though she’d been slapped.
“Gen, stop.”
“No. No he deserves to hear this.”
Danneel spoke softly, trying to diffuse the situation. “He knows. Nothing you can say is going to make him feel worse.”
“No, but I might feel better,” Genevieve and Danneel stood chest to chest, ignoring everyone around them.
“He doesn’t deserve…”
Genevieve stepped back. The blood boiling in her ears drowned out everything else Danneel said. “He doesn’t deserve? What about Jared, what does he deserve?” Turning to glare at Jensen, Genevieve saw him shrink back.
Danneel stood her ground and refused to budge. “He’s my best friend, Gen. I’m not going to just abandon him.”
“Oh. So that’s how this is.” Genevieve looked around at all of their friends who were circled around them awkwardly. She felt overwhelmed, not only on her own behalf but for Jared. Jared who wouldn’t ever hurt anyone intentionally. Jared who would do everything humanly possible to avoid his friends being hurt. Jared who was at home alone while the one person who had hurt him was surrounded by friends, friends who did their best the entire night to avoid any confrontation or conflict. Best friends who had abandoned him just when he needed them most. It wasn’t fair and she couldn’t stand being there one more minute. Genevieve threw her hands up in the air in defeat. “Fine. Fine.” She turned to face Danneel, a feeling of betrayal overwhelming in her chest. She wouldn’t meet her girlfriend’s gaze. “I’ll call you.”
“Genevieve,” Danneel’s face went white and Genevieve saw her stiffen in surprise.
“It’s okay,” Genevieve lied. “Your FRIEND needs you.” She gave an angry wipe of her eyes with the back of her hand. “I need to go home and make sure MY FRIEND is okay, seeing that no one seems to give a shit about him right now.” As she passed Jensen she bared her teeth and snarled at him. “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“Well son,” Chris approached as Genevieve exited the bar. “You’ve fucked it all up now, haven’t you?”
Silence fell over the group; no one would even dare to speak.
“Well this isn’t awkward,” Chris joked. He exchanged a look with Danneel and sprang into action taking over the situation. “Steve went to find Gen and is going to take her home. You can deal with THAT in the morning,” he pointed at Danneel who flinched. “You two,” Chris pointed at Mike and Tom, “I don’t care what you do, you should just be thankful you don’t live at either of our houses.”
Both men gave a relieved grin and promised they would catch up with everyone later.
“You two” Chris indicated to Sophia and Chad, “I’d probably steer clear of Genevieve for the next little while. Try and make sure Jay doesn’t off himself, please. When Jenny gets his head out of his ass he’s going to want Jared in one piece.”
“Hey,” Jensen gave a half hearted attempt at being offended. When he was met with glares from all of his friends he shrank back. “I’m just going to wait outside.”
“I’ll go with you,” Danneel whispered as she took Jensen’s hand. “Chris?”
“I’ll be right out Danni,” Chris turned to Sandy who was crying silently at the bar. Sophia had one arm around her shoulder and was whispering in her ear softly. “You gonna go home tonight San?”
She shook her head. “No. They don’t want me at home. Gen said to stay away.” She started to cry harder. “She hates me and Jared probably hates me...”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Sophia assured her friend. “She’s really fucking pissed right now, but she doesn’t hate you. She’s just worried about Jared.”
“And Jared could never hate anyone, it’s not in his genetic makeup or anything,” Chad added trying to make her feel better. It sounded suspiciously like he was trying to convince himself but he offered a weak smile when she stared up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Chris pulled Sandy close to him and kissed the top of her head affectionately. “So much fucking drama tonight,” he couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped. “It’s like everyone drank the kool-aid and went nuts.”
Chad followed Sophia in giving Sandy a tight hug and shook Chris’ hand. “Is he going to be okay?” Chad asked, nodding in the direction that Jensen went. Chris could only offer a shrug in response.
“He has to be. THEY have to be.”
“Let me know if there’s anything we can do.”
“Go be with Jared” Sandy said miserably. “He’s all alone.”
“How did things get so fucked up?” Chad asked to no one in particular. They said their goodbyes and finally it was only Sandy and Chris remaining at the bar. Chris pulled Sandy in and held her tight.
“Talk to me, beautiful.”
Sandy let out a new wave of sobs, her tiny body shaking with the force of her cries. “Genevieve was right, I didn’t want to make things awkward…I should have told Jared that Jen was here, that he was with someone. I should have gone up to Jensen and figured out what he was doing. I should have done something.”
“It’s not your responsibility,” Chris admitted. “Yeah, you were here and you saw him. But they’re big boys, and if Jen was going to fuck up, he was going to do it anyways. You couldn’t have stopped it.”
“But I could have been there for Jay, I could have warned him.”
“Oh Sandra, there is one thing you will have to remember,” Chris spoke sagely. “There was no way anyone was going to win in this. Let’s go, things have to look better in the morning.”
“How can you be sure?” Sandy asked, letting Chris lead her out of the bar towards his car.
“Honestly?” he asked with a chuckle. “Because they can’t get worse.”
Everything was dark, there was a dead weight on top of him and Jensen couldn’t breathe. He tried to open his eyes but when they fluttered open, there was a curtain of red covering them. Groaning, he pushed against whatever was pinning him down and screamed when he felt it move and push back.
“That’s my tit,” a loud voice boomed in his ear causing his head to throb painfully.
“What the fuck is it doing in my hand?”
“Keeping it warm,” Danneel struggled to untangle their arms and legs and sit up. Her elbow came dangerously close to clipping his groin and Jensen rolled off of what appeared to be the couch to get away from her. Jensen sat on the floor as Danneel was sprawled on the couch, both still half asleep and worse for wear after the long night they had endured. “You okay?” She asked as she slid onto the floor beside her best friend.
Jensen ducked to avoid Danni’s hand running through his sleep mussed hair. He stood up and offered a shrug. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Don’t be an asshole.”
“I guess it’s too late for that, now isn’t it Danni,” Jensen’s voice was sharp and his eyes dull.
“Did you want to explain that to me? I mean, what the fuck Jensen? What the actual fuck?”
“I don’t need this from you Danni,” his voice was hard and Jensen stalked into the kitchen to avoid conversation.
“Oh no, you don’t,” Danneel followed him into the kitchen and spun him around so that they were face to face. Jensen didn’t want to face the consequences of his actions the night before. He didn’t want to think about what he’d done or the expression on Jared’s face as he walked out of that bar and possibly out of his life. And he certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Danneel. “I deserve an explanation.”
“Since when do you deserve an explanation? When did this become about you?”
“I’d say about the time she took your side over Jared’s and might have fucked things up with Gen,” Chris entered the kitchen wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. His hair was tied back and it looked as though he had been awake for some time. Jensen watched him pour himself a cup of coffee before leaning against the island to regard the two friends.
Jensen’s stomach fluttered and he looked back and forth between Chris and Danneel. He couldn’t help but let out a humourless laugh. “Oh, and I guess your relationship is on the rocks because of me too. Can I take responsibility for that too? Anything else you want to blame on me? The national debt? The war in Afghanistan?”
“Don’t be a bitch Jenny,” Chris scolded. His smile turned into a look of genuine concern. “What the fuck is up with you?”
Jensen’s defenses rose, he wanted to argue, to fight back until finally he couldn’t do it any longer. He sagged against the table and sat down on one of the chairs. “I need to talk to him.” He put his face in his hands and let his shoulders sag with exhaustion.
“Yeah Jenny, you do. Fix it princess. Because if you don’t, then you’re stupider than anyone gives you credit for,” Chris’ laughter was grating on Jensen’s nerves.
“I’m glad that you find this so fucking funny,” Jensen spat out. “I’d think you’d be happy about this, seeing that you wanted this all along.” He was surprised at the fire he saw in his best friend’s eyes, the anger that crossed his face.
“Fuck you Jensen. Don’t you dare turn this around on me.” Chris stalked across the kitchen so that he was standing in front of Jensen. “I’ve been watching you be an asshole for weeks, treating him like shit and watching him take it. You’re one of my best friends, but don’t you for a fucking second think that means I’m on your side in this. You nearly broke that boy last night, for what? For nothing.”
Jensen jumped up and stood nose to nose with Chris. “You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. Don’t pretend you have any idea what is going on.”
“Something’s bothering you, I get that. But either suck it up or deal with it, but don’t push everyone away, because you’ll wake up one day and find that you’re all alone, and it won’t be anyone’s fault but your own.”
The truth was a slap in Jensen’s face. It wasn’t anything he didn’t already know, but hearing Chris’ words and seeing the apologetic agreement on Danneel’s expression hit Jensen hard. These were his two best friends, two people who would tell him the truth no matter what the consequences. He could always trust them to shoot straight with him and hearing their words set something off in his head. It was a reversal of the discussion that he and Chris had months earlier when it was Chris pushing everyone away. Without a word, Jensen gave a nod to his friends and headed to his bedroom. He passed Sandy on the stairs, not surprised when she wouldn’t meet his eyes. She pressed herself as close to the wall as she could, as though trying to make herself invisible and rushed the remaining way when he passed. A glance at his clock told him it was just before noon.
Jensen had a lot of thinking to do. He owed Jared an apology, that much was certain. With that apology he deserved an explanation. That was going to be much harder. It wasn’t that Jensen didn’t want to talk to Jared about the things that were bothering him, it was more that he didn’t know how. And the more understanding, the more Jared wanted to listen, to help, the harder Jensen was pushing him away. All because of a stupid need to be in control, to uphold the appearance that he knew what he wanted to do, that he had everything in order and wasn’t more lost or confused than he had ever been in his entire life.
Jensen’s pulling away had absolutely nothing to do with Jared and everything to do with himself, but he couldn’t imagine a way to make Jared understand that. Especially now when he had hurt him so viciously.
Once he showered, cleaned up and got dressed, Jensen knew he couldn’t waste another minute. He bounded down the stairs after he’d taken a few Tylenol to erase the remaining cobwebs from his still hung over head. Chris and Sandy were sitting on the couch silently, hands clasped between them while Danneel was curled up in a chair, covered in a blanket looking absolutely miserable.
“Danni, you okay?” Jensen asked as he sat on the arm of the chair she was on. He ran his fingers through her hair, wiping her tears with his other hand.
“Yeah, I just…didn’t sleep and Gen’s pissed. She won’t answer my texts and my calls are going straight to voice mail…”
Jensen blinked back a few tears of his own. Regret pooled deep in his stomach at the range of people his actions had affected. “I’m going to fix this. I’m sorry.”
“Oh Jenny,” Danneel said with a watery smile. “It’s not your fault. She had to understand why I stood by you. Why I couldn’t abandon you last night. And if she doesn’t, then maybe it’s for the best.”
“You should have gone with her.” Jensen shrugged as everyone in the room gave him surprised expressions. “I don’t deserve this understanding. I fucked up. You should have gone with them, you should have been with her last night, not me.”
Danneel stood and wrapped her arms around Jensen’s shoulders as she pulled him close. “Oh baby, don’t say that. You do deserve it. You fucked up, that’s right but we’ve all made mistakes.”
“Well, I need to go over there and talk to him. He has to know how much I love him and how sorry I am.”
“She won’t let you see him,” Sandy’s voice was barely audible from the corner of the room. Jensen met her gaze and watched her shake her head. “Gen, you’ll be lucky to get through the door.”
It wasn’t something he didn’t already know. Jensen knew how protective Genevieve was over Jared and was glad that he had her in his life. But it was worth the effort, and worth proving himself, not only to Genevieve and Jared but to himself. “Then I’ll just have to wait.”
On To Chapter 10
Masterpost