hear no evil, see no evil ... say again?

[gloryforever]

Before I begin, just let me say that I think the problem in all this lies with me mostly. I went from living with my mom, bro and grandma straight to shacking up with the TB so I've never had to deal with having roommates, setting boundaries and what not. I've been used to having the final say in what, when and how things get done around here ...

Comments

[pamoreno]

You have no idea how much I understand your situation. I honestly don't know how, but I always end up in situations like yours.

I think you should talk to the kids parents and tell them what's bothering you about their kids and let them know about your rules. I also think at some point you should ask when they are planning to leave, before it's too late (that's what happened to a friend of mine, who got stucked with her uncle. He's been living with her and her mother since 2001 and he also said it was "temporary" O_o).

*hugs* Take care of yourself, sweetie!...and may the force be with you when you do what you have to do. Good luck!

[mincot]

My godsiblings came to stay once, and my mother refused to make separate food for each. She had a simple message. Different homes have different rules. At your parents' house you may do X, Y, and Z, but here you can eat what I put on the table or you may have a peanut-butter sandwich. Here you will do the minimum of chores, and here you will pick up the living room each night before going to bed

[vnfan]

If your temper is anything like mine, you can bottle things up for a long time and keep letting it get to you. But eventually it will be sure to come out and you will blow up in the worst way possible. It's best to take it in smaller steps before it gets any worse

[gilpin25]

It makes me grind my teeth reading this, so I'm sure yours must be fed up with doing it.

First of all, you did a very, very nice thing. Particularly if you hadn't seen them for a while because I'm not as nice and I'd think twice, if not three times, before offering my home like that to be their home for a time. When your good deed seems to slap you painfully in the face in return, it seems grossly unfair. It seems they're the kind of people who will sit back and wait to be rescued - whether by luck, fate or you - rather than making things happen and doing them for themselves.

You've got various good suggestions here on handling it, so I won't add to them. But I wish you luck and hope you get it sorted. :) There's friendship, and there's wanting to help people in trouble, and then there's taking advantage. The first two are great, but the third one isn't.