HSN Exchange Fic: A café called 'Memory Lane', for _harmlessthings
Title: A café called 'Memory Lane'
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters:Jesse/Rachel, brief (very brief)mentions of Finn/Rachel and other New Directions kids
Warnings: N/A
Word count: 7.101
Disclaimer: This Glee fanfiction is based upon the television show of the same name. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Ryan Murphy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.
Summary: They had found each other by sheer coincidence. Fate he liked to say (“It seems that we are, indeed, star crossed lovers”)
A/N: I’d like to thank profoundly to my awesome and gorgeous beta, for helping me through this. I hope everyone likes it, especially you _harmlessthings , I’m sorry I didn’t used all of your prompts, the muse decided to change them a bit. This was created while listening to Les Miserable 10th Anniversary discs and this two awesome fanmixes: 1 and 2. Thanks for reading :D
They had found each other by sheer coincidence. Fate, he liked to say (“It seems that we are, indeed, star crossed lovers”).
Shock was the first thing present on both of them the moment after they collided with each other. It was a Thursday afternoon in one of the many New York sidewalks. Neither was aware the other resided in the same state (though he hoped that she was there).
A thousand conversations went through their minds, something that was never uncommon between the two. After some seconds that felt everlasting, she smiled soothing the insecurities he had. He answered with a sincere smile that reached his eyes.
“Jesse.”
“Rachel.” Slowly, the familiar smirk made way to his face “How are you?”
“Fine, thanks. Hey would you like to go for a coffee?” He accepted right away. Even to this day, he swears that he saw something twinkle in her eyes. She swears the same of him.
-
With Jesse St. James things had always been easy - natural. There were no awkward silences or nervous glances. After their encounter in the music store, everything had gone on to be amazing.
They moved together everywhere, enjoying their time together and hating when they had to be apart. Most days after school they would go to her house where they would engage in long conversations - among other activities - that would end only when it was too late for them to still be together. Although, it were uncountable the quantity of times he had stayed to dinner with her and her dads, so much that they were considering to ask Jesse to stay permanently.
They made each other happy, something that was obvious to everyone. The day they met had set a milestone in their lives. It had been one of those moments that set a before and after (they were special at creating those moments for one another).
From day one she had felt safe and happy with him. He felt understood with her. They both knew (even though it was too soon to say it) that they had found were they belonged.
-
They walked in silence until they reached a little coffee shop they both were acquainted with. Life was a funny thing. They frequented almost the same places and they never saw each other in the years that they had been living there.
They sat in a little table in the back near a window, apart enough for them to have their privacy but from where they could be very aware of everything going on around, inside, or outside.
They asked for their drinks (Iced tea with lemon for her, coffee with cinnamon for him) and waited silently, staring at each other, challenging the other to be the first to break the silence.
Her curiosity took the best of her, deciding that winning a staring game wasn’t as fun as getting answers to her thousands of questions.
“So… What are you doing here? I though that by now you would be making a name for yourself in Hollywood.”
He smirked, knowing perfectly well that there were thousands of questions she wanted to make, just as he wanted to make them too. There were a thousand things he wanted to say.
“Well, let’s just say that UCLA wasn’t what I was expecting.” He stopped as the waitress left their drinks in the table. She raised an eyebrow, a question in her eyes. “And yes, if you want to know, I didn’t like being the small fish in the big pond.”
She laughed making him smile widely
-
After the whole ‘We should do it’ fiasco he decided - against his body’s demand - that he was going to take things slow with her. Because she deserved the ‘Epic Romance’ that he promised, if not more.
He didn’t breach the subject again (neither did she) and did everything in his power to contain himself during their, more than often strong and passionate, make out sessions, using music as an escape for his frustration. Also it was a good distraction for her.
Once, after a quite fulfilling Glee rehearsal, they had ended tumbling and rolling in her bed. Their mouths firmly attached as hands started to roam each others body. Soon he had to put a stop to it - though very, very reluctantly - otherwise things would escalate one step further and she had made it clear that she wasn’t ready for that.
He broke the kiss to the dismay of both. She started to complain wanting to keep on, not noting, or caring how much she affected him. He took a deep breath before saying, “Why don’t we sing something?”
She looked at him, confused. She didn’t want to sing, she wanted to kiss him till her lungs had no air at all. Nevertheless, she accepted.
Later, they were belting their rendition of several Broadway duos, while dancing all over her room. They laughed like they were crazy, exhilarated by the performance. It wasn’t long until they both were kissing fiercely again. He always forgot that they were both turned on by talent.
-
“And what did you do? Don’t tell me that you drop out to come here.”
“Oh no, of course not. I transferred to Tisch,” He says trying not to laugh at the suggestion. “Where did you go? I know you didn’t go there; I looked for you”
“Well, yeah, that was in my options but Julliard offered the full ride,” she answered sending him a smile.
“What else have you been doing in these… seven years? Wow!” The surprise obvious in his voice, though the both had been counting years, months, days and hours since the last day shared together. “I can’t believe it’s been that long.”
“Yeah, incredible isn’t it? What have I been doing? Not much yet. A little bit of this and that. College, a big number of auditions, some little roles off-Broadway…” She started, telling him with all the details she could about her life in NY. She smiled widely at the interested look he had while he listened intently, commenting here and there just to let her know he really wanted to know about her life. Soon they were engaged in a passionate exchange of opinions about casting directors and the latest Broadway hit. She had missed sharing so much with someone.
-
As a couple they were not what people could call normal. Then again, they were distant, as persons, of what most people called normal. It was simply expected that put together they would not fit into the term.
What others found boring to them was interesting.
“Have you noticed that we don’t go on dates?” They were in the library looking for new reading material when the idea had sprung in her mind.
“What do you mean ‘we don’t go on dates’? We spend almost every second together and we are always doing something interesting. And don’t say something like I don’t take you places or things like that, because I do… even when I’m not really fond of them.”
“I don’t mean that. I mean that we never do things that are normal.” She explained with a tired tint in her voice.
“Babe, we are not normal. We are better than that. Why would we do things ‘normal’?” He looked at her expectantly.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s what I always thought I’d do once I had a real boyfriend. You know: those things that people do in the movies. The guy asks her out, she accepts, they have dinner and the flick ends with her writing in her diary about the kiss they share in her porch.” She couldn’t help the dreamy look from reaching her face, whilst he still looked at her.
“Do I have to take this as a hint that I’m doing something wrong, then?”
“What? NO! No, no, no. You are not doing anything wrong; really, it’s just that this is still some kind of new and unbelievable thing to me. That’s all, I guess.”
“Why is it so hard to believe that I want you I’m crazy for you?” He said staring straight at her, his voice filled with determination. “Everybody should be crazy about you. You are Rachel Berry after all. And in my humble opinion, that really is something.”
She blushed and turned her head away to avoid his eyes. However, he stopped the motion positioning his hand in her cheek. He brushed his thumb softly across her skin turning her to look at him once again. They lost themselves in each others eyes as their faces came closer and closer. When their lips were inches apart, he stopped.
“But if what you want is for us to have ‘dates’, you’ll have it. Because I love you and I did promise you ‘Epic Romance,’ didn’t I?” He finished with a husky voice. She could feel his lips brushing the words against hers and she no longer cared if they did go on dates anymore, as long as he kisses her to end the torture she feels of having him so close to her but not close enough.
Not able to contain himself, he closed the little space between their lips. Her eyes immediately closed, but his remained open to see the emotions going through her face during the kiss. Soon the kiss grew from gentle to passionate and fierce so he let himself get lost in the heavenly sensation that were her lips. He soon forgot about the book in his hand allowing it to slip into the carpeted floor. His arm took place at her waist and the hand on her face slide to thread its fingers in her dark locks.
By the time they had forced themselves apart Jesse’s hand was playing with the skin in Rachel’s midriff and her back was strongly pressed to the bookshelf they had been standing by. Every thought on the last conversation completely gone from her mind as the power of the kiss still plagued her senses.
“So I’ll come for you Friday at seven. Though I still think it’s a waste of time. But who knows? Maybe we can sneak in here again, continue this without so much people around.” He teased with the typical smirk in place. He winked at her, grabbed the fallen book and went out of the library, leaving her there still gathering her wits about what had happened.
-
“Hey, whatever happened to your Glee club? Last thing I knew you won two national titles.” He queried taking a sip of his coffee.
“They are fine, as far as I know. I don’t keep in touch with all of them. Quinn and Puck are recently engaged; don’t ask me how they made it because no one really knows. Kurt went to the east coast with Mercedes and last thing I heard was that they were starting a fashion business and that he was in serious relationship, but I haven’t spoken to them in quite some time.”
“Those two are just inseparable, right?” He chimed in a playful tone.
“Hahaha, yeah. I guess it’s safe to say that they are joined at the hip. Tina and Artie married not long after entering college in Cleveland; I think they have a little boy now. Mike joined a dance company - he’s been with them ever since High School ended, if not before. And Finn…” She went quiet for a bit, glancing out the window the people passing by in the street.
“And Finn?” Curiosity was eating his insides, preventing him from not pushing the subject. Though, the distress in her face meant that something wasn’t right.
“Well, I don’t really know much about him, just what Kurt tells me from time to time. We haven’t really kept in contact after Senior year.” She whispered removing her gaze from the window to set it in the cup between her hands. “Things didn’t end in the best of terms between us.”
-
Jesse St. James was a talented person, with a wide storage of abilities and skills. He was capable of doing several things, aside from dancing, singing and acting as everyone believed. So it was easier to ask him what he didn’t do. And among those things was the one that was nagging him deeply lately. Jealousy.
Jesse St. James doesn’t do jealousy, but still the feeling was there. Taking over everything in him and making him feel the bile rise up his throat. He could literally feel the rage grow inside him, along with the deep desire to inflict physical pain onto a certain person. A certain person who kept staring fixedly at his girlfriend, making moves whenever he could and trying to convince her that Jesse was the evil dragon and he was Prince Charming coming to save her from the tower. Everytime Finn Hudson came into the picture, he felt negative feelings he had never felt so strongly before come rushing up and it took him a great deal of effort to keep them under the surface. It took a great deal of effort to keep the cool, confident and ‘I’m way better than you’ (which was true) mask on his face.
Until he saw the ‘Run, Joey, Run’ video. Everything exploded inside him then. He could feel the jealousy - and the terrible need of kicking Finn’s and Puck’s asses - boiling under his skin, while an unknown pain settled in his chest. He could not take it anymore. It was enough that he had to endure knowing the guy had the hots for his girl, it was really close to the line having to see them both sing together and see them send those looks while performing, but being triple-cast -unwittingly - was crossing the edge. So he said his piece and stormed out, letting the diva in him come out and the hatred take over him.
Once everything had calmed, the dull ache in his chest remained. He learned then, what a breaking heart feels like. Up to that moment Jesse St. James didn’t do jealousy and even less heartbreak, notwithstanding that was before meeting Rachel Berry. Now he seemed to be doing both in huge proportions.
-
“How so?” He knew he shouldn’t feel the hope rising in his chest, or the exhilaration going through his veins; nonetheless, the idea of Finn Hudson screwing up, yet again, was enough to make his day.
“I wanted some things and he wanted others. I guess the real reason that threw us apart was that I was specific about wanting to come here and he wanted me to just stay with him. I’m not sure now if he really took my dreams into consideration.” She explained, sending him a look that spoke for itself, a bittersweet smile adorning her face to go with the story. “Looking at it in hindsight, that was not the only problem. You see we always had this on/off thing going, never really learned how to make things work for real. There was something always in the middle. Moreover, when the big fight finally came we said some pretty hurting things. Truths were told and bad memories resurfaced. In the end it turned out to be too much to go on. I tried to have some kind of friendship but he refused clarifying if I didn’t want to be with him any longer then all was said and done with them.”
“Wow, sounds…pretty rough.”
“Yeah, I know, but I guess it was never meant to be. In spite of everything, we tried. I tried, but it didn’t come out right.” She sighed, still that bittersweet smile in her face. “But it’s in the past now. And what about you? Has there been something close to what we could call a Mrs. St. James? ” (‘Aside from you’ he thought)
“Ha, ha, no, not even close. I won’t lie; maybe there were one or two flings, but I’ve been too focused on the career for trying to look for something serious.”
“Yeah, same here.” There it was again the twinkle in her eyes, that little something that only served to fuel his illusions - and why not, his fantasies too - of a future with her on it. Without noticing, he reached for her hand, being really aware that he had do it only when he felt a little spark go through his fingers to his very core. She smirked at this and he felt excited by that look. He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand, marveling at how soft her skin still was; this little contact lighting something inside of him. He felt shivers go through his spine and prayed that she was feeling them too. She was.
There is something in their eyes. Something in the way they move. They body language betraying them. Their acting skills were forgotten, leaving bare sincerity for everyone to see that they still affect each other, in every possible way.
-
How they had ended where they were, neither could tell. Everything had started innocent enough. Her dads were out of town for the weekend and a storm had been announced for that night. Dreading the feeling of loneliness she had whenever she had to stay alone in the empty house - and fearing the threat of the storm - she had invited him over. It wouldn’t be the first time he would sleep over there.
They had been watching musicals until the storm broke and the lights went out. Left with little to do downstairs, they had looked for some candles and gone to her room. No one knew if it was the atmosphere the low light created, the situation or the pent up tension they had in themselves, but what had been supposed to be a reassuring kiss, after a thunder broke in the distance, turned into a passionate make out.
Their hands were roaming everywhere. She moaned and he groaned at the caresses as the kisses intensified more and more. Soon, he rolled them so he was on top of her. He started throwing little kisses along her face making his way to her neck, stopping in that sweet spot where her shoulder and neck met. He nibbled, bit, and kissed with every intention of leaving a mark there (something to show the world she was his). The sighs and gasps she let go with every kiss encouraging him to keep on. Next he went dangerously lower, kissing from her collarbone to the edge of the cleavage of her shirt.
She feels waves of desire pulse through her whole body. Like a fire in dry woods, it spreads with incredible speed, reaching every corner of her being. Filling her mind with a fog where the only things surfacing were Jesse and the pleasure he makes her feel.
“Jesse,” she moans his name with the little air she can pull into her lungs. Her hands start to feel impatient and look everywhere for something to hold. They first pass through his hair messing the already unruly curls, descending over his back, grabbing, clutching, and trying to bring him even closer to her. They end their path, finally on the hem of his t-shirt as they try to tug it over his head.
At this he startles, realizing how fast things were moving. Notwithstanding, when he tries to move Rachel prevented him from doing so.
“Don’t, please, don’t stop.” He can hear the need in those words, the very same need he feels pulsing in his blood.
“If I don’t stop now I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop later.” It feels like an empty threat, he knows he’ll stop as soon as she asks so, but he doesn’t want to stop, not anymore.
“Then don’t stop,” she says passing her hand through his curls again, letting it slide to his face caressing his cheek. He closes his eyes and lets himself be taken away by it, inclining his head a little so it rest in that blessed hand of hers.
“Are you sure?”
“A hundred percent.” Her tone is decisive, assertive, she knows perfectly that there won’t be turning back. She doesn’t care. She just wants to share this with him. She pushed him down so she’s able to claim his lips again. The kiss is fast and firm. Her tongue tries to make way through his lips. He allows her entrance and their tongues wrestled for dominance.
Once again, her hands are at the hem of his t-shirt, this time taking the fabric with them when going upwards. They break for a brief moment to pass it over his head. His hand starts unbuttoning her shirt till the garment is thrown away carelessly. He returns to assault her collarbone with open mouthed kisses, making a trail to the valley in between of her breasts. His fingers got rid of the straps of her pink brassiere. Once her chest was naked, his mouth kept making the trail of kisses, landing first in one of her nipples, kissing it, nibbling on it softly trying to make her feel the same pleasure he felt while doing it. At the same time his other hand took care of her other breast kneading it. Increasing the strength of his caresses according to the music her moans created.
“Oh…Jesse.” She gasped and sighed and groaned and moaned. It made the blood of his whole body rush downward; building a discomforting tension in his pelvis. He grabbed her tightly, positioning his erection right at her center and bringing them around his waist, pressing it fully over her clothed core. When the tension was too much he started pressing into her, pushing his hips forward over and over, each push creating loader moans that fueled him to keep on.
His tongue found her other nipple making her gasp in pleasure. He suckled on it, making her sink her nails in his back. He groaned and kissed her firmly, while she tried to bring him even closer yet. She wanted for them to be so close there were no limits between them, so they could be one.
His hands were constantly up and down her body. One of hers went down to try and unbutton his jeans, the other firmly put in his nape to keep him from breaking the intoxicating kiss. She lowered the zipper and started fumbling, trying to lower the pants and boxers.
Unexpectedly his hands curled around her wrists taking it above her head, holding them there with one of his. “That is dangerous territory, babe. Believe me, you don’t want this to be over so soon,” He whispered in her ear, his voice hoarse with want. His hot breath turning her on even more, if that was possible. She already felt on the edge of exploding.
However, the explosion didn’t happen until his free hand slipped down her thighs to her center. First his fingers played with the wet underwear, but sooner rather than later, they moved the piece and started playing with her sensitive folds. When his fingers came across her clit she felt like a dam breaking, letting the warm tension she had been feeling pooling in her belly go everywhere in her body. Waves and waves of fire washing over her, making stars appear in her eyes and the breath leave her lungs completely.
“Ah! Jesse!” She screamed his name. She could feel him smile against her neck while he peppered her with kissed until he reached her ear once more. He nibbled at her earlobe eliciting more moans to come from her.
“And that, babe, is an orgasm.” The husky voice stated with an over confident security in it. She would have lash out at him for saying something like that in a moment like this, do something to take the self satisfied smirk of his face, if her mind hadn’t been still up in the clouds, way out of this world.
“Jesse…please! I need you so much…” She groaned. Her hand clutching at his back, digging her nails into his flesh. Grabbing his curls, messing them around, tugging at them, and turning him crazy with every move. He pushed into her once again and when she answered lifting her hips to meet his, he knew that the moment had come.
He disentangled himself from her arms. She whined in protest, feeling cold the moment his skin wasn’t in touch with hers. He got up, looking down at her and completely marveled at the sight. Her hair tousled, spread over the bed, her cheeks pink from the arousal, her chest going up and down rapidly as she tried to bring air to her lungs. He could feel his lower parts demanding him to move, to stop staring and start acting, so he made quick work of her skirt and underwear before taking his clothes off too.
He kissed every part he could of her, going upwards until he was accommodated at her center again. “Babe,” he whispered against her lips, the word vibrating through both of them. He took her face in his hands staring into her deep brown orbs. “This probably will hurt a little, but I swear that it’ll go away soon. I’ll take care of it. Okay? Just relax”. She just nodded, feeling the anticipation and nervousness rising a little.
He positioned himself at her entrance. He kissed her fiercely as he started to slowly push inside her. As he entered her he could feel her tensing up. He started kissing and caressing her, wanting her to forget about the pain she would feel once he broke through her barrier. Once he had crossed it she let go a little yelp of pain, but mostly of surprise. She expected it to hurt a lot more than it actually did. It was uncomfortable most of all; there was only a little sting of pain that she knew would go away soon enough. Yet, he remained still, fully inside her, basking in the wonderful feeling it created. His mind debated with his body, that begged him to move, but he wouldn’t until she was more accommodated to the intrusion, he wants her to enjoy this as much as him, he wants her too come with him. He looked at her thinking about the precious gift she was giving him now. He loves everything about her - much more than he will care to admit - but sure indeed that he loves her. He takes a deep breath; he wants his eyes to express this, he wants that everything he does tonight expresses this. “I love you, Rachel Berry, so very much and I want you to know that and never forget it.” Maybe that was a tad overdramatic for the situation, but it is how he feels.
“I love you too, Jesse,” She says and he can see a single tear rolling out of her gorgeous eyes. She kisses him again, pure happiness going through her almost making her forget about the throbbing passion he started in her. She is the one to start moving, rolling her hips. He wants to stop her because every roll makes him see stars in front of his eyes.
Soon he is thrusting into her and she is receiving each thrust with delight. What starts with a steady slow rhythm picks up to harder and faster and rougher movements that make the cries that both make louder and louder. When he feels he can’t take it any longer, he feels her inside walls tensing as her head rolls back, so he finally relaxes letting all the pleasure hit him as he finishes with her.
Minutes after, he is beside her, pulling her into his chest. One arm was around her waist, his other hand touching her hair. She makes invisible drawings on his skin while he whispers love into her ear, both still in the afterglow of what just happened. Sleep finds them in the end, legs intertwined, arms around each other, big smiles of happiness and love in their faces.
-
“Tell me are we going to keep avoiding it or are we going to finally bring it up?” He expressed. His gaze fix in her eyes. His hand still clutching to hers.
“I think you are bringing it up right now.” Both knew perfectly well what he was talking about. Neither wanted to address the subject, but they knew they needed to if they didn’t want this to end in just a cup of coffee.
He was surprised. He always thought that if (when) they found each other again, this would be the first thing they’d talk about. He had pictured thousand different scenarios where she would come and ask him about what happened. In most, she just demanded an apology and things went along from there, in some violence, from her part, was involved. Only in his more dreamy ones she came with forgiving words and warm embraces. However this was not a dream but the real life, where everything could happen, and where he knew that if he didn’t talked about this with her he could lose her again and the guilt had been eating at him for the past seven years would finally kill him.
“I guess I’ll start then. I know that maybe after all this time this doesn’t change anything what happened but I’m really sorry of what I did, Rachel. I know that maybe you won’t believe me but I’ve been feeling guilty since it happened. I shouldn’t have left like that without explaining things and of course I shouldn’t have fallen into the peer pressure Vocal Adrenaline put me through…” ‘So much for being greater than the others, anyway, in the end, I’m the same piece of scum that them’ he had thought after the incident. He hated himself for such a long time after he smashed that egg in her forehead, the scene engraved in his head and it would play on repeat countless times till he learned how to reign those thoughts and push them to the back of his mind, for his sanity, otherwise he knew he would have lose it.
“Jesse,” She exclaimed trying to stop his long tirade of apologies and dumb reasons he was giving her. “I forgive you.”
“So that happened and…W-what? Excuse me? You forgive me? Just like that?” The surprise evident in his voice. He stopped a bit and looked at her like if she was crazy or something. She couldn’t give him something this big just like that, he didn’t deserve it.
“Well, actually it wasn’t just like that. But I don’t know if you haven’t noticed but I’ve had seven years to think on the matter and I’ve realized that is my conclusion.” She said calmly, taking a sip of what was left of her tea before going on. “It’s not like this was easy or anything. I mean, after everything happened I hated you so much, so much it hurt. I knew that if I saw you in those days I would have been very capable of committing homicide. ” He swallowed hard “But then again I was really hurting. I loved you so much back then” ‘Loved me? Any possibility in changing that tense?’ he thought. “I gave you all of me and I thought that you were stomping on it when you did that. It took me a great deal of time to get over it and for the negative feelings to stop. I tried to forget everything, but, you know, you aren’t exactly the kind of forgettable guy. When things with Finn screwed up, I might have mentioned you in our fight. Maybe I even told him that I still harbored feelings for you while I was with him. I’m not sure that conversation really is one I like to keep out of my thoughts. So after that I took a deep breath and decided to sort everything out once and for all. I guess that it’s true what people say, time heals all wounds. By the time I entered college, I had forgiven you. I understand why you did it. I think that maybe, if I had been in your place I would have done the same. We are the kind of people that do everything and more for their dreams and yours were at stake. I don’t say that it was OK, or that it didn’t hurt or doesn’t hurt sometimes to remember the parking lot but I guess I can let it all go now”.
He let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was so good to hear that from her. He could feel all his worries, all those bad memories going away. If she could let go of it, he could too. However he couldn’t forgive himself just yet. He had caused both too much suffering for him to take it lightly.
“You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that. I’ve wanted to apologize ever since I discovered I was a complete asshole during that time. It has been a misery carrying all that inside, knowing how much I had hurt you. You didn’t deserve it, Rachel, just as I don’t deserve your forgiveness, at least not yet.” He said fast, before she could protest against it. “I know I can’t take back time, but I want you to know that I regretted doing it ever since. Up to this day, it still is one of the hardest things I had to do.”
“I know it was. I mean, looking at it in hindsight, I remembered your expressions when everything happened. One of the good things of the event being printed to my mind was that I could really study it.” She said with a joking tone but under the surface he could still feel the serious edge of her words. “Maybe I didn’t know you as well as you knew me back then, but I know that I had at least some things figured out. One of them was when you would be in ‘Jesse St. James, the over confident, awesomely talented star of Vocal Adrenaline’ or ‘Jesse, the guy who was nuts about me and would never hurt me’ mode. I don’t know if I made you soften up a bit but you let Jesse slip through your mask sometimes around those days. And that is another of the reasons why I could forgive you, because I knew that you were hurting as much as I was.”
He couldn’t help but smile at the mention of his own recurring line along their time together. She smiled back at him and he knew that things were sorted between them, the old wounds healing and soon would be completely closed, and if he had a say in it, they would remain like that forever. Neither noticed that their hands never let go through out the whole conversation.
-
Jesse woke up in the middle of the night, the lack of warmth beside him startling him awake. He sat down in the bed, looking around the room but it was empty as well. He got up and put his jeans on and started for the door when he heard singing coming from outside her window. He peeked outside and found her sitting the roof.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” He said as he went out the window. He sat behind her so she was sitting between his legs and her back was lining into him. He kissed her before letting her answer, then her cheek and her neck, finally leaving his head resting in her shoulder, breathing the sweet smell of her hair with a contented smile.
“Nothing, really. I woke up to go to the bathroom and saw that the storm was over and the sky clear so I kind of felt impulse to come see the stars, you know?” She said resting against him and caressing his hands which were firmly attached around her waist.
“You should have gone straight to bed and woke me up then and there, Miss Berry. Bad move, to be honest. I would have been able to entertain you way more than a bunch of stars, don’t you think?” She could feel his smirk in the sensitive skin of her neck. The idea sent shivers through her spine. She would be lying if she said the thought hadn’t crossed her mind; however, she had second thoughts when she saw him sleeping so peacefully. Not wanting to disturb his rest, she had walked to the window to see if the storm was still raging outside; the previous activities had made her forget completely about the scaring weather. The moment she noticed that the sky was completely clean as if there hadn’t been any storm to begin with. The stars where shining brightly and the beauty of them had been enough to prompt her to go sit in the roof, looking at the landscape her backyard and the night sky made, singing softly to herself about wishes upon a star and the second star to the right.
“By the way, I love how my shirt looks on you” He chuckled. With a teasing look in his eyes he pointed to the - for her - oversized shirt that looked almost like a dress on her. “Seriously, I like it. If you want it, you can keep it.”
“And what are you going to wear to return home?”
“I’ll just put my jacket on and zip it up. I’ll be going straight there after all. Besides it’s not like I’m going anywhere soon.” He said looking at her in the eyes, when she tilted her head backward to see him. Then he cleared his throat and his eyes took on a more serious look. “How are you feeling, Babe?”
“Excellent.” She exclaimed, her Rachel Berry ten thousand watts smile plastered all over her face. “A little sore, maybe, but nothing preoccupying or really painful, honestly. Most of all I’m feeling extremely happy…and calm.”
“That’s good to know,” He said kissing her forehead while threading his fingers through her silky hair lovingly, feeling a weight being lift from his shoulders. “So, what do we do now? Because I wouldn’t mind going back inside to sleep or do other things, maybe,” He whispered close to her ear, leaving a soft kiss behind it.
“Although those are tempting options, I really would like to stay out here a little bit more, please?” She pleaded him a mock pout and intent of puppy eyes on her face.
“Hahaha, okay, okay. We can do whatever you want, as long you let me keep you this close.” He laughed, embracing her tightly and bringing her closer to his chest.
“Yes!” She pecked him quickly in the lips before turning her attention back to the dark sky. “Oh Jesse, look, a shooting star! Make a wish!”
“Yeah, I see it, but isn’t that a bit childish?”
“Oh come on, just do it, I know you want to” She teased.
“Okay, okay. Done, happy?”
“Totally.”
“So…What did you wish for?”
“I can’t tell you; that way the wish would come true.”
“Oh, tell me, please? Pretty please?” He said mimicking her expression from earlier.
“Haha! No.” She stated definitely
“Oh, damn, I wanted to know.” He pretended to be offended, finding it hard to keep from laughing. Until she kissed him deeply and any offense was erased from his mind. “You know I love you, right?”
“Actually, I’m not sure, I hav…” She was stopped mid sentence by his mouth attacking hers again.
“I love you, Rachel Berry.” He confessed, all the love he felt for the girl in his arms shining in his blue orbs, his voice filled of as much sincerity he could conjure. He wanted for her to be sure of this statement and never doubts it.
“I love you too, Jesse St. James.” She kissed him again. Going back inside sounded nicer and nicer with every kiss they shared.
-
“So I was thinking, remember that time you ask me to take you on a date because that was what normal people did?” He said casually as they started their way out the café, hands still intertwined though the feeling was so natural that neither really cared about it.
“Yeah I may recall that vaguely.” ‘Perfectly, actually but that’s for me to know and for you to find out’
“Well, I remembered. Just know that I never took you on that date, cause that Friday you had to do something with your dads and then the whole ‘Run, Joey, Run’ debacle happened” He could see from the corner of his eye how she flinched as he mentioned the disastrous video. “So I guess we are safe to say that I owe you a date.”
“Now that you say it, yes you do.”
“Well I think it’s due time for me to pay that debt, don’t you think. So what do you say to Friday at seven? I’ll come for you and we go out dinner.” He smirked at her with the cocky tone on once again.
“I think that’s perfect, Jesse.” She accepted with the Rachel Berry ten thousand watts smile on.
“So I’ll be seeing you, right?”
“Don’t worry I won’t disappear” She joked. She quickly grabbed his phone writing her own phone number into his screen. “Call me so I’ll have your number and I can give you my address.”
“Right”
“Okay. So goodbye…for now”
“Yeah, bye, I’ll call you.”
They started going different ways, looking at each other and keeping their hands joined as long as possible. Rachel had not walked a whole block when she received a call.
“So where do you live? Just so I know where to pick you up” She recognized the voice immediately, her heart beating instantly at the sound of it. She was terribly happy that it was a Thursday afternoon. 25 hours, 35 minutes and 6 seconds till she sees him again. ‘I must be crazy, I’m counting the hours’ She thought oblivious that he was counting too. They kept on their way, talking into the phone, happy with this second chance they had. Now they really felt closer to their goal and were sure that wishes upon shooting stars do come true.
(“So… What did you wish for?” ‘I asked that you could forgive me for what I have to do’
“I can’t tell you, that way the wish would come true.” ‘I asked for us to have our own happy ending, musical style.’)
-
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters:Jesse/Rachel, brief (very brief)mentions of Finn/Rachel and other New Directions kids
Warnings: N/A
Word count: 7.101
Disclaimer: This Glee fanfiction is based upon the television show of the same name. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Ryan Murphy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.
Summary: They had found each other by sheer coincidence. Fate he liked to say (“It seems that we are, indeed, star crossed lovers”)
A/N: I’d like to thank profoundly to my awesome and gorgeous beta, for helping me through this. I hope everyone likes it, especially you _harmlessthings , I’m sorry I didn’t used all of your prompts, the muse decided to change them a bit. This was created while listening to Les Miserable 10th Anniversary discs and this two awesome fanmixes: 1 and 2. Thanks for reading :D
They had found each other by sheer coincidence. Fate, he liked to say (“It seems that we are, indeed, star crossed lovers”).
Shock was the first thing present on both of them the moment after they collided with each other. It was a Thursday afternoon in one of the many New York sidewalks. Neither was aware the other resided in the same state (though he hoped that she was there).
A thousand conversations went through their minds, something that was never uncommon between the two. After some seconds that felt everlasting, she smiled soothing the insecurities he had. He answered with a sincere smile that reached his eyes.
“Jesse.”
“Rachel.” Slowly, the familiar smirk made way to his face “How are you?”
“Fine, thanks. Hey would you like to go for a coffee?” He accepted right away. Even to this day, he swears that he saw something twinkle in her eyes. She swears the same of him.
-
With Jesse St. James things had always been easy - natural. There were no awkward silences or nervous glances. After their encounter in the music store, everything had gone on to be amazing.
They moved together everywhere, enjoying their time together and hating when they had to be apart. Most days after school they would go to her house where they would engage in long conversations - among other activities - that would end only when it was too late for them to still be together. Although, it were uncountable the quantity of times he had stayed to dinner with her and her dads, so much that they were considering to ask Jesse to stay permanently.
They made each other happy, something that was obvious to everyone. The day they met had set a milestone in their lives. It had been one of those moments that set a before and after (they were special at creating those moments for one another).
From day one she had felt safe and happy with him. He felt understood with her. They both knew (even though it was too soon to say it) that they had found were they belonged.
-
They walked in silence until they reached a little coffee shop they both were acquainted with. Life was a funny thing. They frequented almost the same places and they never saw each other in the years that they had been living there.
They sat in a little table in the back near a window, apart enough for them to have their privacy but from where they could be very aware of everything going on around, inside, or outside.
They asked for their drinks (Iced tea with lemon for her, coffee with cinnamon for him) and waited silently, staring at each other, challenging the other to be the first to break the silence.
Her curiosity took the best of her, deciding that winning a staring game wasn’t as fun as getting answers to her thousands of questions.
“So… What are you doing here? I though that by now you would be making a name for yourself in Hollywood.”
He smirked, knowing perfectly well that there were thousands of questions she wanted to make, just as he wanted to make them too. There were a thousand things he wanted to say.
“Well, let’s just say that UCLA wasn’t what I was expecting.” He stopped as the waitress left their drinks in the table. She raised an eyebrow, a question in her eyes. “And yes, if you want to know, I didn’t like being the small fish in the big pond.”
She laughed making him smile widely
-
After the whole ‘We should do it’ fiasco he decided - against his body’s demand - that he was going to take things slow with her. Because she deserved the ‘Epic Romance’ that he promised, if not more.
He didn’t breach the subject again (neither did she) and did everything in his power to contain himself during their, more than often strong and passionate, make out sessions, using music as an escape for his frustration. Also it was a good distraction for her.
Once, after a quite fulfilling Glee rehearsal, they had ended tumbling and rolling in her bed. Their mouths firmly attached as hands started to roam each others body. Soon he had to put a stop to it - though very, very reluctantly - otherwise things would escalate one step further and she had made it clear that she wasn’t ready for that.
He broke the kiss to the dismay of both. She started to complain wanting to keep on, not noting, or caring how much she affected him. He took a deep breath before saying, “Why don’t we sing something?”
She looked at him, confused. She didn’t want to sing, she wanted to kiss him till her lungs had no air at all. Nevertheless, she accepted.
Later, they were belting their rendition of several Broadway duos, while dancing all over her room. They laughed like they were crazy, exhilarated by the performance. It wasn’t long until they both were kissing fiercely again. He always forgot that they were both turned on by talent.
-
“And what did you do? Don’t tell me that you drop out to come here.”
“Oh no, of course not. I transferred to Tisch,” He says trying not to laugh at the suggestion. “Where did you go? I know you didn’t go there; I looked for you”
“Well, yeah, that was in my options but Julliard offered the full ride,” she answered sending him a smile.
“What else have you been doing in these… seven years? Wow!” The surprise obvious in his voice, though the both had been counting years, months, days and hours since the last day shared together. “I can’t believe it’s been that long.”
“Yeah, incredible isn’t it? What have I been doing? Not much yet. A little bit of this and that. College, a big number of auditions, some little roles off-Broadway…” She started, telling him with all the details she could about her life in NY. She smiled widely at the interested look he had while he listened intently, commenting here and there just to let her know he really wanted to know about her life. Soon they were engaged in a passionate exchange of opinions about casting directors and the latest Broadway hit. She had missed sharing so much with someone.
-
As a couple they were not what people could call normal. Then again, they were distant, as persons, of what most people called normal. It was simply expected that put together they would not fit into the term.
What others found boring to them was interesting.
“Have you noticed that we don’t go on dates?” They were in the library looking for new reading material when the idea had sprung in her mind.
“What do you mean ‘we don’t go on dates’? We spend almost every second together and we are always doing something interesting. And don’t say something like I don’t take you places or things like that, because I do… even when I’m not really fond of them.”
“I don’t mean that. I mean that we never do things that are normal.” She explained with a tired tint in her voice.
“Babe, we are not normal. We are better than that. Why would we do things ‘normal’?” He looked at her expectantly.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s what I always thought I’d do once I had a real boyfriend. You know: those things that people do in the movies. The guy asks her out, she accepts, they have dinner and the flick ends with her writing in her diary about the kiss they share in her porch.” She couldn’t help the dreamy look from reaching her face, whilst he still looked at her.
“Do I have to take this as a hint that I’m doing something wrong, then?”
“What? NO! No, no, no. You are not doing anything wrong; really, it’s just that this is still some kind of new and unbelievable thing to me. That’s all, I guess.”
“Why is it so hard to believe that I want you I’m crazy for you?” He said staring straight at her, his voice filled with determination. “Everybody should be crazy about you. You are Rachel Berry after all. And in my humble opinion, that really is something.”
She blushed and turned her head away to avoid his eyes. However, he stopped the motion positioning his hand in her cheek. He brushed his thumb softly across her skin turning her to look at him once again. They lost themselves in each others eyes as their faces came closer and closer. When their lips were inches apart, he stopped.
“But if what you want is for us to have ‘dates’, you’ll have it. Because I love you and I did promise you ‘Epic Romance,’ didn’t I?” He finished with a husky voice. She could feel his lips brushing the words against hers and she no longer cared if they did go on dates anymore, as long as he kisses her to end the torture she feels of having him so close to her but not close enough.
Not able to contain himself, he closed the little space between their lips. Her eyes immediately closed, but his remained open to see the emotions going through her face during the kiss. Soon the kiss grew from gentle to passionate and fierce so he let himself get lost in the heavenly sensation that were her lips. He soon forgot about the book in his hand allowing it to slip into the carpeted floor. His arm took place at her waist and the hand on her face slide to thread its fingers in her dark locks.
By the time they had forced themselves apart Jesse’s hand was playing with the skin in Rachel’s midriff and her back was strongly pressed to the bookshelf they had been standing by. Every thought on the last conversation completely gone from her mind as the power of the kiss still plagued her senses.
“So I’ll come for you Friday at seven. Though I still think it’s a waste of time. But who knows? Maybe we can sneak in here again, continue this without so much people around.” He teased with the typical smirk in place. He winked at her, grabbed the fallen book and went out of the library, leaving her there still gathering her wits about what had happened.
-
“Hey, whatever happened to your Glee club? Last thing I knew you won two national titles.” He queried taking a sip of his coffee.
“They are fine, as far as I know. I don’t keep in touch with all of them. Quinn and Puck are recently engaged; don’t ask me how they made it because no one really knows. Kurt went to the east coast with Mercedes and last thing I heard was that they were starting a fashion business and that he was in serious relationship, but I haven’t spoken to them in quite some time.”
“Those two are just inseparable, right?” He chimed in a playful tone.
“Hahaha, yeah. I guess it’s safe to say that they are joined at the hip. Tina and Artie married not long after entering college in Cleveland; I think they have a little boy now. Mike joined a dance company - he’s been with them ever since High School ended, if not before. And Finn…” She went quiet for a bit, glancing out the window the people passing by in the street.
“And Finn?” Curiosity was eating his insides, preventing him from not pushing the subject. Though, the distress in her face meant that something wasn’t right.
“Well, I don’t really know much about him, just what Kurt tells me from time to time. We haven’t really kept in contact after Senior year.” She whispered removing her gaze from the window to set it in the cup between her hands. “Things didn’t end in the best of terms between us.”
-
Jesse St. James was a talented person, with a wide storage of abilities and skills. He was capable of doing several things, aside from dancing, singing and acting as everyone believed. So it was easier to ask him what he didn’t do. And among those things was the one that was nagging him deeply lately. Jealousy.
Jesse St. James doesn’t do jealousy, but still the feeling was there. Taking over everything in him and making him feel the bile rise up his throat. He could literally feel the rage grow inside him, along with the deep desire to inflict physical pain onto a certain person. A certain person who kept staring fixedly at his girlfriend, making moves whenever he could and trying to convince her that Jesse was the evil dragon and he was Prince Charming coming to save her from the tower. Everytime Finn Hudson came into the picture, he felt negative feelings he had never felt so strongly before come rushing up and it took him a great deal of effort to keep them under the surface. It took a great deal of effort to keep the cool, confident and ‘I’m way better than you’ (which was true) mask on his face.
Until he saw the ‘Run, Joey, Run’ video. Everything exploded inside him then. He could feel the jealousy - and the terrible need of kicking Finn’s and Puck’s asses - boiling under his skin, while an unknown pain settled in his chest. He could not take it anymore. It was enough that he had to endure knowing the guy had the hots for his girl, it was really close to the line having to see them both sing together and see them send those looks while performing, but being triple-cast -unwittingly - was crossing the edge. So he said his piece and stormed out, letting the diva in him come out and the hatred take over him.
Once everything had calmed, the dull ache in his chest remained. He learned then, what a breaking heart feels like. Up to that moment Jesse St. James didn’t do jealousy and even less heartbreak, notwithstanding that was before meeting Rachel Berry. Now he seemed to be doing both in huge proportions.
-
“How so?” He knew he shouldn’t feel the hope rising in his chest, or the exhilaration going through his veins; nonetheless, the idea of Finn Hudson screwing up, yet again, was enough to make his day.
“I wanted some things and he wanted others. I guess the real reason that threw us apart was that I was specific about wanting to come here and he wanted me to just stay with him. I’m not sure now if he really took my dreams into consideration.” She explained, sending him a look that spoke for itself, a bittersweet smile adorning her face to go with the story. “Looking at it in hindsight, that was not the only problem. You see we always had this on/off thing going, never really learned how to make things work for real. There was something always in the middle. Moreover, when the big fight finally came we said some pretty hurting things. Truths were told and bad memories resurfaced. In the end it turned out to be too much to go on. I tried to have some kind of friendship but he refused clarifying if I didn’t want to be with him any longer then all was said and done with them.”
“Wow, sounds…pretty rough.”
“Yeah, I know, but I guess it was never meant to be. In spite of everything, we tried. I tried, but it didn’t come out right.” She sighed, still that bittersweet smile in her face. “But it’s in the past now. And what about you? Has there been something close to what we could call a Mrs. St. James? ” (‘Aside from you’ he thought)
“Ha, ha, no, not even close. I won’t lie; maybe there were one or two flings, but I’ve been too focused on the career for trying to look for something serious.”
“Yeah, same here.” There it was again the twinkle in her eyes, that little something that only served to fuel his illusions - and why not, his fantasies too - of a future with her on it. Without noticing, he reached for her hand, being really aware that he had do it only when he felt a little spark go through his fingers to his very core. She smirked at this and he felt excited by that look. He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand, marveling at how soft her skin still was; this little contact lighting something inside of him. He felt shivers go through his spine and prayed that she was feeling them too. She was.
There is something in their eyes. Something in the way they move. They body language betraying them. Their acting skills were forgotten, leaving bare sincerity for everyone to see that they still affect each other, in every possible way.
-
How they had ended where they were, neither could tell. Everything had started innocent enough. Her dads were out of town for the weekend and a storm had been announced for that night. Dreading the feeling of loneliness she had whenever she had to stay alone in the empty house - and fearing the threat of the storm - she had invited him over. It wouldn’t be the first time he would sleep over there.
They had been watching musicals until the storm broke and the lights went out. Left with little to do downstairs, they had looked for some candles and gone to her room. No one knew if it was the atmosphere the low light created, the situation or the pent up tension they had in themselves, but what had been supposed to be a reassuring kiss, after a thunder broke in the distance, turned into a passionate make out.
Their hands were roaming everywhere. She moaned and he groaned at the caresses as the kisses intensified more and more. Soon, he rolled them so he was on top of her. He started throwing little kisses along her face making his way to her neck, stopping in that sweet spot where her shoulder and neck met. He nibbled, bit, and kissed with every intention of leaving a mark there (something to show the world she was his). The sighs and gasps she let go with every kiss encouraging him to keep on. Next he went dangerously lower, kissing from her collarbone to the edge of the cleavage of her shirt.
She feels waves of desire pulse through her whole body. Like a fire in dry woods, it spreads with incredible speed, reaching every corner of her being. Filling her mind with a fog where the only things surfacing were Jesse and the pleasure he makes her feel.
“Jesse,” she moans his name with the little air she can pull into her lungs. Her hands start to feel impatient and look everywhere for something to hold. They first pass through his hair messing the already unruly curls, descending over his back, grabbing, clutching, and trying to bring him even closer to her. They end their path, finally on the hem of his t-shirt as they try to tug it over his head.
At this he startles, realizing how fast things were moving. Notwithstanding, when he tries to move Rachel prevented him from doing so.
“Don’t, please, don’t stop.” He can hear the need in those words, the very same need he feels pulsing in his blood.
“If I don’t stop now I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop later.” It feels like an empty threat, he knows he’ll stop as soon as she asks so, but he doesn’t want to stop, not anymore.
“Then don’t stop,” she says passing her hand through his curls again, letting it slide to his face caressing his cheek. He closes his eyes and lets himself be taken away by it, inclining his head a little so it rest in that blessed hand of hers.
“Are you sure?”
“A hundred percent.” Her tone is decisive, assertive, she knows perfectly that there won’t be turning back. She doesn’t care. She just wants to share this with him. She pushed him down so she’s able to claim his lips again. The kiss is fast and firm. Her tongue tries to make way through his lips. He allows her entrance and their tongues wrestled for dominance.
Once again, her hands are at the hem of his t-shirt, this time taking the fabric with them when going upwards. They break for a brief moment to pass it over his head. His hand starts unbuttoning her shirt till the garment is thrown away carelessly. He returns to assault her collarbone with open mouthed kisses, making a trail to the valley in between of her breasts. His fingers got rid of the straps of her pink brassiere. Once her chest was naked, his mouth kept making the trail of kisses, landing first in one of her nipples, kissing it, nibbling on it softly trying to make her feel the same pleasure he felt while doing it. At the same time his other hand took care of her other breast kneading it. Increasing the strength of his caresses according to the music her moans created.
“Oh…Jesse.” She gasped and sighed and groaned and moaned. It made the blood of his whole body rush downward; building a discomforting tension in his pelvis. He grabbed her tightly, positioning his erection right at her center and bringing them around his waist, pressing it fully over her clothed core. When the tension was too much he started pressing into her, pushing his hips forward over and over, each push creating loader moans that fueled him to keep on.
His tongue found her other nipple making her gasp in pleasure. He suckled on it, making her sink her nails in his back. He groaned and kissed her firmly, while she tried to bring him even closer yet. She wanted for them to be so close there were no limits between them, so they could be one.
His hands were constantly up and down her body. One of hers went down to try and unbutton his jeans, the other firmly put in his nape to keep him from breaking the intoxicating kiss. She lowered the zipper and started fumbling, trying to lower the pants and boxers.
Unexpectedly his hands curled around her wrists taking it above her head, holding them there with one of his. “That is dangerous territory, babe. Believe me, you don’t want this to be over so soon,” He whispered in her ear, his voice hoarse with want. His hot breath turning her on even more, if that was possible. She already felt on the edge of exploding.
However, the explosion didn’t happen until his free hand slipped down her thighs to her center. First his fingers played with the wet underwear, but sooner rather than later, they moved the piece and started playing with her sensitive folds. When his fingers came across her clit she felt like a dam breaking, letting the warm tension she had been feeling pooling in her belly go everywhere in her body. Waves and waves of fire washing over her, making stars appear in her eyes and the breath leave her lungs completely.
“Ah! Jesse!” She screamed his name. She could feel him smile against her neck while he peppered her with kissed until he reached her ear once more. He nibbled at her earlobe eliciting more moans to come from her.
“And that, babe, is an orgasm.” The husky voice stated with an over confident security in it. She would have lash out at him for saying something like that in a moment like this, do something to take the self satisfied smirk of his face, if her mind hadn’t been still up in the clouds, way out of this world.
“Jesse…please! I need you so much…” She groaned. Her hand clutching at his back, digging her nails into his flesh. Grabbing his curls, messing them around, tugging at them, and turning him crazy with every move. He pushed into her once again and when she answered lifting her hips to meet his, he knew that the moment had come.
He disentangled himself from her arms. She whined in protest, feeling cold the moment his skin wasn’t in touch with hers. He got up, looking down at her and completely marveled at the sight. Her hair tousled, spread over the bed, her cheeks pink from the arousal, her chest going up and down rapidly as she tried to bring air to her lungs. He could feel his lower parts demanding him to move, to stop staring and start acting, so he made quick work of her skirt and underwear before taking his clothes off too.
He kissed every part he could of her, going upwards until he was accommodated at her center again. “Babe,” he whispered against her lips, the word vibrating through both of them. He took her face in his hands staring into her deep brown orbs. “This probably will hurt a little, but I swear that it’ll go away soon. I’ll take care of it. Okay? Just relax”. She just nodded, feeling the anticipation and nervousness rising a little.
He positioned himself at her entrance. He kissed her fiercely as he started to slowly push inside her. As he entered her he could feel her tensing up. He started kissing and caressing her, wanting her to forget about the pain she would feel once he broke through her barrier. Once he had crossed it she let go a little yelp of pain, but mostly of surprise. She expected it to hurt a lot more than it actually did. It was uncomfortable most of all; there was only a little sting of pain that she knew would go away soon enough. Yet, he remained still, fully inside her, basking in the wonderful feeling it created. His mind debated with his body, that begged him to move, but he wouldn’t until she was more accommodated to the intrusion, he wants her to enjoy this as much as him, he wants her too come with him. He looked at her thinking about the precious gift she was giving him now. He loves everything about her - much more than he will care to admit - but sure indeed that he loves her. He takes a deep breath; he wants his eyes to express this, he wants that everything he does tonight expresses this. “I love you, Rachel Berry, so very much and I want you to know that and never forget it.” Maybe that was a tad overdramatic for the situation, but it is how he feels.
“I love you too, Jesse,” She says and he can see a single tear rolling out of her gorgeous eyes. She kisses him again, pure happiness going through her almost making her forget about the throbbing passion he started in her. She is the one to start moving, rolling her hips. He wants to stop her because every roll makes him see stars in front of his eyes.
Soon he is thrusting into her and she is receiving each thrust with delight. What starts with a steady slow rhythm picks up to harder and faster and rougher movements that make the cries that both make louder and louder. When he feels he can’t take it any longer, he feels her inside walls tensing as her head rolls back, so he finally relaxes letting all the pleasure hit him as he finishes with her.
Minutes after, he is beside her, pulling her into his chest. One arm was around her waist, his other hand touching her hair. She makes invisible drawings on his skin while he whispers love into her ear, both still in the afterglow of what just happened. Sleep finds them in the end, legs intertwined, arms around each other, big smiles of happiness and love in their faces.
-
“Tell me are we going to keep avoiding it or are we going to finally bring it up?” He expressed. His gaze fix in her eyes. His hand still clutching to hers.
“I think you are bringing it up right now.” Both knew perfectly well what he was talking about. Neither wanted to address the subject, but they knew they needed to if they didn’t want this to end in just a cup of coffee.
He was surprised. He always thought that if (when) they found each other again, this would be the first thing they’d talk about. He had pictured thousand different scenarios where she would come and ask him about what happened. In most, she just demanded an apology and things went along from there, in some violence, from her part, was involved. Only in his more dreamy ones she came with forgiving words and warm embraces. However this was not a dream but the real life, where everything could happen, and where he knew that if he didn’t talked about this with her he could lose her again and the guilt had been eating at him for the past seven years would finally kill him.
“I guess I’ll start then. I know that maybe after all this time this doesn’t change anything what happened but I’m really sorry of what I did, Rachel. I know that maybe you won’t believe me but I’ve been feeling guilty since it happened. I shouldn’t have left like that without explaining things and of course I shouldn’t have fallen into the peer pressure Vocal Adrenaline put me through…” ‘So much for being greater than the others, anyway, in the end, I’m the same piece of scum that them’ he had thought after the incident. He hated himself for such a long time after he smashed that egg in her forehead, the scene engraved in his head and it would play on repeat countless times till he learned how to reign those thoughts and push them to the back of his mind, for his sanity, otherwise he knew he would have lose it.
“Jesse,” She exclaimed trying to stop his long tirade of apologies and dumb reasons he was giving her. “I forgive you.”
“So that happened and…W-what? Excuse me? You forgive me? Just like that?” The surprise evident in his voice. He stopped a bit and looked at her like if she was crazy or something. She couldn’t give him something this big just like that, he didn’t deserve it.
“Well, actually it wasn’t just like that. But I don’t know if you haven’t noticed but I’ve had seven years to think on the matter and I’ve realized that is my conclusion.” She said calmly, taking a sip of what was left of her tea before going on. “It’s not like this was easy or anything. I mean, after everything happened I hated you so much, so much it hurt. I knew that if I saw you in those days I would have been very capable of committing homicide. ” He swallowed hard “But then again I was really hurting. I loved you so much back then” ‘Loved me? Any possibility in changing that tense?’ he thought. “I gave you all of me and I thought that you were stomping on it when you did that. It took me a great deal of time to get over it and for the negative feelings to stop. I tried to forget everything, but, you know, you aren’t exactly the kind of forgettable guy. When things with Finn screwed up, I might have mentioned you in our fight. Maybe I even told him that I still harbored feelings for you while I was with him. I’m not sure that conversation really is one I like to keep out of my thoughts. So after that I took a deep breath and decided to sort everything out once and for all. I guess that it’s true what people say, time heals all wounds. By the time I entered college, I had forgiven you. I understand why you did it. I think that maybe, if I had been in your place I would have done the same. We are the kind of people that do everything and more for their dreams and yours were at stake. I don’t say that it was OK, or that it didn’t hurt or doesn’t hurt sometimes to remember the parking lot but I guess I can let it all go now”.
He let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was so good to hear that from her. He could feel all his worries, all those bad memories going away. If she could let go of it, he could too. However he couldn’t forgive himself just yet. He had caused both too much suffering for him to take it lightly.
“You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that. I’ve wanted to apologize ever since I discovered I was a complete asshole during that time. It has been a misery carrying all that inside, knowing how much I had hurt you. You didn’t deserve it, Rachel, just as I don’t deserve your forgiveness, at least not yet.” He said fast, before she could protest against it. “I know I can’t take back time, but I want you to know that I regretted doing it ever since. Up to this day, it still is one of the hardest things I had to do.”
“I know it was. I mean, looking at it in hindsight, I remembered your expressions when everything happened. One of the good things of the event being printed to my mind was that I could really study it.” She said with a joking tone but under the surface he could still feel the serious edge of her words. “Maybe I didn’t know you as well as you knew me back then, but I know that I had at least some things figured out. One of them was when you would be in ‘Jesse St. James, the over confident, awesomely talented star of Vocal Adrenaline’ or ‘Jesse, the guy who was nuts about me and would never hurt me’ mode. I don’t know if I made you soften up a bit but you let Jesse slip through your mask sometimes around those days. And that is another of the reasons why I could forgive you, because I knew that you were hurting as much as I was.”
He couldn’t help but smile at the mention of his own recurring line along their time together. She smiled back at him and he knew that things were sorted between them, the old wounds healing and soon would be completely closed, and if he had a say in it, they would remain like that forever. Neither noticed that their hands never let go through out the whole conversation.
-
Jesse woke up in the middle of the night, the lack of warmth beside him startling him awake. He sat down in the bed, looking around the room but it was empty as well. He got up and put his jeans on and started for the door when he heard singing coming from outside her window. He peeked outside and found her sitting the roof.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” He said as he went out the window. He sat behind her so she was sitting between his legs and her back was lining into him. He kissed her before letting her answer, then her cheek and her neck, finally leaving his head resting in her shoulder, breathing the sweet smell of her hair with a contented smile.
“Nothing, really. I woke up to go to the bathroom and saw that the storm was over and the sky clear so I kind of felt impulse to come see the stars, you know?” She said resting against him and caressing his hands which were firmly attached around her waist.
“You should have gone straight to bed and woke me up then and there, Miss Berry. Bad move, to be honest. I would have been able to entertain you way more than a bunch of stars, don’t you think?” She could feel his smirk in the sensitive skin of her neck. The idea sent shivers through her spine. She would be lying if she said the thought hadn’t crossed her mind; however, she had second thoughts when she saw him sleeping so peacefully. Not wanting to disturb his rest, she had walked to the window to see if the storm was still raging outside; the previous activities had made her forget completely about the scaring weather. The moment she noticed that the sky was completely clean as if there hadn’t been any storm to begin with. The stars where shining brightly and the beauty of them had been enough to prompt her to go sit in the roof, looking at the landscape her backyard and the night sky made, singing softly to herself about wishes upon a star and the second star to the right.
“By the way, I love how my shirt looks on you” He chuckled. With a teasing look in his eyes he pointed to the - for her - oversized shirt that looked almost like a dress on her. “Seriously, I like it. If you want it, you can keep it.”
“And what are you going to wear to return home?”
“I’ll just put my jacket on and zip it up. I’ll be going straight there after all. Besides it’s not like I’m going anywhere soon.” He said looking at her in the eyes, when she tilted her head backward to see him. Then he cleared his throat and his eyes took on a more serious look. “How are you feeling, Babe?”
“Excellent.” She exclaimed, her Rachel Berry ten thousand watts smile plastered all over her face. “A little sore, maybe, but nothing preoccupying or really painful, honestly. Most of all I’m feeling extremely happy…and calm.”
“That’s good to know,” He said kissing her forehead while threading his fingers through her silky hair lovingly, feeling a weight being lift from his shoulders. “So, what do we do now? Because I wouldn’t mind going back inside to sleep or do other things, maybe,” He whispered close to her ear, leaving a soft kiss behind it.
“Although those are tempting options, I really would like to stay out here a little bit more, please?” She pleaded him a mock pout and intent of puppy eyes on her face.
“Hahaha, okay, okay. We can do whatever you want, as long you let me keep you this close.” He laughed, embracing her tightly and bringing her closer to his chest.
“Yes!” She pecked him quickly in the lips before turning her attention back to the dark sky. “Oh Jesse, look, a shooting star! Make a wish!”
“Yeah, I see it, but isn’t that a bit childish?”
“Oh come on, just do it, I know you want to” She teased.
“Okay, okay. Done, happy?”
“Totally.”
“So…What did you wish for?”
“I can’t tell you; that way the wish would come true.”
“Oh, tell me, please? Pretty please?” He said mimicking her expression from earlier.
“Haha! No.” She stated definitely
“Oh, damn, I wanted to know.” He pretended to be offended, finding it hard to keep from laughing. Until she kissed him deeply and any offense was erased from his mind. “You know I love you, right?”
“Actually, I’m not sure, I hav…” She was stopped mid sentence by his mouth attacking hers again.
“I love you, Rachel Berry.” He confessed, all the love he felt for the girl in his arms shining in his blue orbs, his voice filled of as much sincerity he could conjure. He wanted for her to be sure of this statement and never doubts it.
“I love you too, Jesse St. James.” She kissed him again. Going back inside sounded nicer and nicer with every kiss they shared.
-
“So I was thinking, remember that time you ask me to take you on a date because that was what normal people did?” He said casually as they started their way out the café, hands still intertwined though the feeling was so natural that neither really cared about it.
“Yeah I may recall that vaguely.” ‘Perfectly, actually but that’s for me to know and for you to find out’
“Well, I remembered. Just know that I never took you on that date, cause that Friday you had to do something with your dads and then the whole ‘Run, Joey, Run’ debacle happened” He could see from the corner of his eye how she flinched as he mentioned the disastrous video. “So I guess we are safe to say that I owe you a date.”
“Now that you say it, yes you do.”
“Well I think it’s due time for me to pay that debt, don’t you think. So what do you say to Friday at seven? I’ll come for you and we go out dinner.” He smirked at her with the cocky tone on once again.
“I think that’s perfect, Jesse.” She accepted with the Rachel Berry ten thousand watts smile on.
“So I’ll be seeing you, right?”
“Don’t worry I won’t disappear” She joked. She quickly grabbed his phone writing her own phone number into his screen. “Call me so I’ll have your number and I can give you my address.”
“Right”
“Okay. So goodbye…for now”
“Yeah, bye, I’ll call you.”
They started going different ways, looking at each other and keeping their hands joined as long as possible. Rachel had not walked a whole block when she received a call.
“So where do you live? Just so I know where to pick you up” She recognized the voice immediately, her heart beating instantly at the sound of it. She was terribly happy that it was a Thursday afternoon. 25 hours, 35 minutes and 6 seconds till she sees him again. ‘I must be crazy, I’m counting the hours’ She thought oblivious that he was counting too. They kept on their way, talking into the phone, happy with this second chance they had. Now they really felt closer to their goal and were sure that wishes upon shooting stars do come true.
(“So… What did you wish for?” ‘I asked that you could forgive me for what I have to do’
“I can’t tell you, that way the wish would come true.” ‘I asked for us to have our own happy ending, musical style.’)
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