Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch match today. Hell yes. There's always some way cool bloodshed with these. My money's on Slytherin today. Anderson's been off his game.

You'll never guess what I found.

I almost feel bad for taking points away from Hufflepuffs, but honestly, I do not appreciate being levitated in the middle of the Library because your spell missed the object you were aiming for.

I swear, the sticking hex on the boys toilets wasn't me! I totally had an accomplice...

Whatever Gryffindor just tried to hex me in the hall, enjoy the 200 House Point deficit, and the fact lunch for the whole house will taste like seaweed. I'm sure all your Housemates will thank you for disrespecting the Head Boy. Just think how fun it would have been if you actually knew how to aim your wand correctly.

Dreadfully subpar pickings for Cheerios this year. Half of them can't even hold their wands the right way. Merlin help me, I have my work cut out for me.

I miss Blaine, and I think it's giving me indigestion.

That awkward moment where Hagrid catches you trying to discreetly fix your fly and loudly announces there are better places to slap the sausage in the castle than behind a statue.

OMFG. Can this year be over?

It was less than twenty points, not the house cup. I will never understand how people don't realize that just because you're hiding behind one of the statues does not mean that I can't see you trying to convince your girlfriend to blow you.

I cannot believe they want to do Muggle Fashion in Muggle Studies. Travesty!

You can't avoid me forever.