Comments | gixxer_pilot: Fic: Alienated, Chapter 11c

gixxer_pilot

Fic: Alienated, Chapter 11c

Nov 20, 2009 00:23

Author's Note: Finally, I give you part 11c. This is the redone verison. I've added some extra exposition and hopefully filled the fic in a little bit. There is one plot hole I'm aware of that is completely my mistake, but hopefully the error won't detract from the overall story. Personally, because I'm such a bloody perfectionist, I find the ( Read more... )

ncis, fic, crossover, transformers, title: alienated

Comments 12

shawnkyr November 20 2009, 12:28:22 UTC

Woah, that was a really interesting case and the solution is still a bit confusing to me ( ... )

gixxer_pilot November 20 2009, 14:33:31 UTC

Auuggghhh! See, this is why I shouldn't be allowed to post that late. I made mistakes. No, Barricade was the one that originally killed Mitchell, though I didn't go into a ton of detail about it. Remember how I said I wasn't completely happy with this ending? Yeah. *growls in frustration* But, it's fixed enough for now, so hopefully it flies. I will say that Starscream won't correct them, though. As you said, it's his personality ( ... )

shawnkyr November 20 2009, 18:29:01 UTC

Nah, I just wasn't sure, if I misunderstood something. Both things would have made sense in a way, I think... But this one is less confusing for me ;)

Aren't we all a little bit crazy? :P

Sneaky is the right word.

Oh yeah, he would!

Nah, they were good. No planet blowing in a whole week, I think we might be safe.

gixxer_pilot November 21 2009, 04:22:39 UTC

Err. See, this made sense in my head, but it obviously didn't go well to paper. What confused you? You can either put it here or PM me, since I think I might take this chapter down and rework it so it does make sense.

Or, if I don't, just for future reference.

Thread 7

nekohitori November 20 2009, 22:39:28 UTC

Whoo, that was quite a read, there. I enjoyed it. This felt like an episode of NCIS, and other than needing a beta-reader to weed out small inconsistencies and grammatical errors, the story was very well written.

gixxer_pilot November 21 2009, 04:31:52 UTC

I'm glad you liked it, and I have indeed learned that for larger fic, I really do need a beta. I will get one next time. And thank you for the honest comments. My goal here is to improve as a writer, and I can't do that unless people tell me where I've screwed up.

I literally had six different ways this story could have ended in mind, and this is basically a combination of all six. I've been trying to figure out why it's so confusing tonight, and perhaps that's my answer. I tried to do too much. It makes sense in my head, but on paper I don't think it came out clear enough. And, I also caught a couple of typos that really would have made it hard to understand, so I hope they're mostly fixed.

In any case, thanks so much for the comments!

lancelot_luv05 November 21 2009, 03:41:47 UTC

good chapter and i was a little confused as well but after reading your reply to an earlier comment i understand now.

gixxer_pilot November 21 2009, 04:33:03 UTC

Can I ask you to be more specific? What exactly confused you? I'd like to know so I can correct it, since that's really what I'm thinking needs to be done now. Like I said to everyone else, the damn thing made sense in my head!

AUGH!

tainry December 22 2009, 08:31:22 UTC

Woooo!
Yes, late to the party, but what this means is I wanted so much to read this I went and tracked this sucker down, even after it passed waaaaay along the flist!
Nice moments here between Tim and Prime and Ziva and Ironhide, and I love love love the reference to Rabb! Ahahahahahaha! He's so gonna get Gibbs for this. XDDD