nothing here resets the clocks (snape/lupin)

[girl_tarte]

berry’s birthday snupin!
words: 6000ish
rating: R
warning: 1st person pov. also crammed to the gills with sirius black and possibly a bit on the grim side.

note 1: beta’d by lovely fitofpique. <3
note 2: last year i wrote buckle_berry the sweetest fluffiest creamcake of a snupin for her birthday, and for mine she wrote a brutal series of violent snupin sex vignettes.

Comments

[girl_tarte]

he *is* a snot, but i suppose he has a perfect right to be. and i'm so relieved it worked okay with the canon stuff - writing fic alongside canon gives me the heebie jeebies. it's lovely to hear you liked it - thank you so much.

[buckle_berry]

oh tarte. it is like you reach inside my head and write a story that exactly mirrors my mood. i couldn't have found anything that fits the way i've been feeling better than this.

i would worry about first-person pov, especially first-person snape pov, from anyone other than you. but your snape is so fully realised, and your descriptions of what we see through his eyes so perfectly rendered, that it adds a whole new dimension to the story. i love the way you take what we know of him from canon - the way he is smart and shrewd and determined but also childish and bitter and oddly myopic - and translate them into this complicated relationship with lupin without missing a beat. i love the things he sees clearly, like harry, dumbledore, the order. but more than that, i love the things he can't see, or refuses to see.

this: He’s looking for a handhold on this conversation, and all I can think of are Black’s fingers at his waist. i read it over about four times, it says so much

[girl_tarte]

berry - relief!

i know you like a bit more darkness than i've written for a while, but i did wonder if i got a bit carried away.

also childish and bitter and oddly myopic

i think these are the things i love writing best about him - his willingness to pander to his own prejudices. i'm super relieved you found the 1st person pov okay here - it felt so flipping self-indulgent to write, like swimming in snape. i think the other characters, esp. lupin, may have suffered as a result, for which i am sorry. i hope the kit-off moments made up for it a bit.

anyway, secret: i wrote this entirely with our poa-era snupin rp tig in mind. this is my sequel to it. <3

[hogwartshoney]

Y'know what.... I don't think I could have said anything more perfectly than this comment did! I was filled with *woah* and my brain is still trying to catch up! ;o)

[girl_tarte]

i hope the *woah* was not too debilitating. :) thank you very much for letting me know you read it.

[fitofpique]

I know I have said this about a dozen times, but sometimes there are perfect lines from fic that I know will stay with me for ages and these lines are some of them. You kill me!

I won’t even look at Lupin, whose fingers tap against a cupboard front; I feel them as if they are drumming at my ribcage.

Oh, and here is his dog.

“Snape,” it says as it comes through the door, ridiculously tricked out in velvet.

HEEE. And also ouch! You are brilliant. And this is so harsh and painful and smart (and HOT). I love and admire your skill with understatement and how you still manage not to hold anything back. I mean ... you pull your punches but it still hurts just as much, or possibly even more, if that makes sense. <333!

I agree with Berry! Crosspost!

[girl_tarte]

i brought the pain, p! :D god, it feels good to write something properly angsty.

i am thrilled it qualifies as understated too! thank you for all your help, esp. with that one scene, p. and also all the stuff you helped with unconsciously, like crows and smudges. :D

[fitofpique]

i am just rereading this (again). i love it so much, tarte! i can never write hardcore angst (angst squib!) so it was very fulfilling to be a bit helpful to you while you were bringing the pain :D

*smudges you*

[girl_tarte]

oh, p. ilu. you are very very sweet to me. :)

*buffs yr silvering*

[magnetic_pole]

Aha! Tarte!fic! I've just skimmed through because I'm on way to the library, but I am excited. Will return shortly to read. *waits with bated breath* M.

[magnetic_pole]

Ah, Tarte, this is perfect. I love the depiction of Snape here--so jealous, so childish, so filled with resentment and bitterness, and yet such a sharp, formidable character, with impulses and attitudes we can all recognize. But more than that I love the plausibility of this scenario. This is what I like best about fanfic, the recognition that life is indeed more complex and more interesting than canon, if we just reach for it. Brava! Maggie

[girl_tarte]

what I like best about fanfic, the recognition that life is indeed more complex and more interesting than canon, if we just reach for it

i think me too. it's hard not to get so you feel so involved with the characters that you forget how flimsy canon can be. thanks, maggie - it means a lot that you liked this.

[giddy_london]

oh, tarte. i'm sort of speechless here. this is beautifully done, and i always love your snape so much. first person snape pov from anyone else would have me hitting the back button hard and fast, but this is perfect and real and just right. i love.

[girl_tarte]

i don't think i realised what a knife-edge i was on with first-person snape pov, but it's surprisingly easy to lose yourself in. thank you, gids, i am pleasedfacing to the max.