My Truth

[gillo]

Or my perception of events. But it’s true for me.

Life this year has had highs and deep lows. I’m writing this to try to set some of it in context, mostly for myself.

Comments

[ancarett]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. That sounds like it was an experience that was emotionally devastating in the extreme. Take care of yourself.

[gillo]

Thank you. Yes, it's taking me a while to work my way through it. It was pretty brutal. I'm very grateful to you for reading all the way through and replying here. I'm feeling like I'm an awful person right now, so this really helps.

[bearshorty]

All the hugs. It all sound awful for you. I hope you will feel better about it all soon. You are a good person.

[gillo]

Thank you so much. Right now I feel like I must be a truly awful person. I'm really grateful to you. <3

[sparrow2000]

The fact that there are fewer fandom kerfuffles these days doesn't make it any less traumatising when they happen. So sorry you have gone through such an awful time, Gill. Take care of yourself. Your personal health will always be the most important thing.

[gillo]

I'm not claiming to be a saint in all this. But I am feeling exceptionally bruised and battered. Thank you very much for your supportive words.

[sparrow2000]

Wishing you a very happy birthday, Gill. I hope you have a nice, relaxing day and that this coming year is good to you.

Cheers
S

[gillo]

Thank you - sorry about the delayed reply! It was quite a good day, with a lovely meal out in the evening.

[curiouswombat]

Oh Gill I am so sorry. Firstly for not commenting before - I have been skipping in and out of LJ, and missing things, for the past couple of months and clearly this was one of them

[gillo]

Thank you so much for this, Voirrey. I'm really struggling still - and feeling guilty for not being over with it. I keep composing letters in my head and going round in circles.

R was with us for an extended weekend, so I showed her their "official" account of what happened - and then had to talk her out of creating an account purely and solely to give them a piece of her mind! I'm not claiming I'm blameless, but if you have a look at their account of events you might see why. It's a grain of truth mixed with a lot of emotive language and multiple flat-out lies. And decent people are thanking them for their actions in dealing with this toxic person (me).

Hence why it's so hard to let it go. I really did not deserve that.

I'm really grateful you took the time to write your supportive comment.

[curiouswombat]

Hmm.... yes I am very tempted to work out how to comment, starting with the statement about the well being of users being their first priority etc. etc. Or do so to the FB group.

I have taken a few deep breaths and stepped away as there is no point in dragging it out. Suffice it to say that if I ever see a similar post on any community in future I will take it with a very large pinch of salt, knowing how very one-sided that post is.

[gillo]

The last thing I want is for anyone I care about to be dragged into this. I just can't bear the thought that the version of events published on the site is seen as definitive, when it is at the minimum vindictive and emotionally manipulative. But thank you for the impulse!