(no subject)
Summer
Giles swung the door open. “I thought you would come.”
“I had to see it...the grave. Willow told me where you buried her.”
Giles sighed and said, “Do you want a drink? I’m finding it helps. A drink. Or drinks.” He turned back into his apartment, leaving Angel to follow him and shut the door.
“I’ll fetch a glass. Sit.”
Angel sank down onto the couch. He accepted the tumbler, half filled with whiskey, which Giles offered to him and took a healthy swallow of it. Giles said, “I made it a triple, saves having to keep filling it.”
“Yeah, thanks. I noticed.” Angel took a long assessing look at Giles. “You look tired.”
Giles sat down so heavily the chair’s springs squeaked beneath him. “Well, I am.” They sat quietly for a moment, then Giles said, “Do you want to hear about it?”
“No. Willow told me everything I need to know.”
“Yes, I see that. The fact of death is the only important thing. And you’ve seen so much of it. Caused so much of it. Like Jenny. I’m getting more used to death. Watching it. Causing it.”
Angel put his unfinished drink on the coffee table. “Maybe I should...”
“No, don’t go. Sorry, I’ve let my tongue run away with me. We’re just two old men steeped in mourning. I’m glad you’ve come.”
They sat silent for a few minutes, each locked in his own memories. Then Giles burst out with, “She loved you fiercely, you know, but that’s how she did most things.”
“Yes, I could see that in her the first time I saw her.” Angel’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe if I’d known how little time she had, I’d have stayed. Maybe I should have stayed. But, she was so good...I thought she’d have a full life, I mean, a long one.”
Giles said quietly, “It’s not as though she were defeated, is it? She gave her life away; they didn’t take it.”
“She saved her sister. It was to save her sister.”
Giles had a slight smile on his face. “You remember Dawn?”
“Of course. I remember when she got taller than Buffy; she was so mad.” Angel took another long drink of his whiskey.
“Willow didn’t tell you?”
“What?”
“It’s an illusion. She wasn’t there. Monks made Dawn up. They knew the Slayer would protect her. Dawn’s just another burden Buffy took on. Buffy saw Dawn as family.”
“Fierce. Like you said, she was fierce when she made up her mind.”
Giles pushed himself up from the chair and got a fresh bottle from a cabinet, breaking the seal and putting on the coffee table.
“Fooling about with memories. Not sporting, is it?” Giles laughed. “Amazing how being drunk makes me speak like Colonel Blimp, isn’t it? Not sporting!”
Angel ran his hand over his face. “Not fair, no.”
The two mourners drank and talked of Buffy for hours. Angel sensed the sunrise coming and made some gestures toward leaving, but Giles told him to stay and sleep the day away on the couch. “Unless you’re in a hurry to go back?” he asked.
“No, no hurry.”
“Strangely enough,” said Giles, “you won’t be my first vampire guest. There’s blood in the refrigerator. This is Liberty Hall for vampires.” Giles giggled as he stumbled up the steps to his bed.
It was too late for Angel to leave safely. The sun would be over the horizon in just minutes. And he was exhausted. He made himself comfortable on the couch and slept.
It was late afternoon when they both woke. Giles looked even more tired than he had the night before. He made coffee while Angel showered, drank two cups and felt more awake but not much better. He decided to call Xander and the others for patrolling tonight. He needed an impetus to get out of the house.
As twilight fell and Angel was preparing to go, Giles said, “Are you returning to Los Angeles? I understand you’ve settled in quite well there.”
Angel didn’t say anything for a moment. “No, I’m going away for a while. Someplace quiet. Sometimes it’s hard to think in LA.” His voice trailed off. “You?”
“How I spent my summer vacation, you mean? Everything is at sixes and sevens. We’re patrolling. I have no urgent need to see the Council again. I’m still needed here for a while. I really haven’t thought much beyond each day.”
“I should be going,” Angel said. “Thanks for the whiskey and the couch.”
“Yes. It was good to share it with someone. With you.” Giles put out his hand. “Goodbye.”
Angel shook Giles’ hand and turned to go. Giles walked him to the door, and watched broad-shouldered figure disappear into the night. “Good luck,” thought Giles, “good luck to us all.”
Giles swung the door open. “I thought you would come.”
“I had to see it...the grave. Willow told me where you buried her.”
Giles sighed and said, “Do you want a drink? I’m finding it helps. A drink. Or drinks.” He turned back into his apartment, leaving Angel to follow him and shut the door.
“I’ll fetch a glass. Sit.”
Angel sank down onto the couch. He accepted the tumbler, half filled with whiskey, which Giles offered to him and took a healthy swallow of it. Giles said, “I made it a triple, saves having to keep filling it.”
“Yeah, thanks. I noticed.” Angel took a long assessing look at Giles. “You look tired.”
Giles sat down so heavily the chair’s springs squeaked beneath him. “Well, I am.” They sat quietly for a moment, then Giles said, “Do you want to hear about it?”
“No. Willow told me everything I need to know.”
“Yes, I see that. The fact of death is the only important thing. And you’ve seen so much of it. Caused so much of it. Like Jenny. I’m getting more used to death. Watching it. Causing it.”
Angel put his unfinished drink on the coffee table. “Maybe I should...”
“No, don’t go. Sorry, I’ve let my tongue run away with me. We’re just two old men steeped in mourning. I’m glad you’ve come.”
They sat silent for a few minutes, each locked in his own memories. Then Giles burst out with, “She loved you fiercely, you know, but that’s how she did most things.”
“Yes, I could see that in her the first time I saw her.” Angel’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe if I’d known how little time she had, I’d have stayed. Maybe I should have stayed. But, she was so good...I thought she’d have a full life, I mean, a long one.”
Giles said quietly, “It’s not as though she were defeated, is it? She gave her life away; they didn’t take it.”
“She saved her sister. It was to save her sister.”
Giles had a slight smile on his face. “You remember Dawn?”
“Of course. I remember when she got taller than Buffy; she was so mad.” Angel took another long drink of his whiskey.
“Willow didn’t tell you?”
“What?”
“It’s an illusion. She wasn’t there. Monks made Dawn up. They knew the Slayer would protect her. Dawn’s just another burden Buffy took on. Buffy saw Dawn as family.”
“Fierce. Like you said, she was fierce when she made up her mind.”
Giles pushed himself up from the chair and got a fresh bottle from a cabinet, breaking the seal and putting on the coffee table.
“Fooling about with memories. Not sporting, is it?” Giles laughed. “Amazing how being drunk makes me speak like Colonel Blimp, isn’t it? Not sporting!”
Angel ran his hand over his face. “Not fair, no.”
The two mourners drank and talked of Buffy for hours. Angel sensed the sunrise coming and made some gestures toward leaving, but Giles told him to stay and sleep the day away on the couch. “Unless you’re in a hurry to go back?” he asked.
“No, no hurry.”
“Strangely enough,” said Giles, “you won’t be my first vampire guest. There’s blood in the refrigerator. This is Liberty Hall for vampires.” Giles giggled as he stumbled up the steps to his bed.
It was too late for Angel to leave safely. The sun would be over the horizon in just minutes. And he was exhausted. He made himself comfortable on the couch and slept.
It was late afternoon when they both woke. Giles looked even more tired than he had the night before. He made coffee while Angel showered, drank two cups and felt more awake but not much better. He decided to call Xander and the others for patrolling tonight. He needed an impetus to get out of the house.
As twilight fell and Angel was preparing to go, Giles said, “Are you returning to Los Angeles? I understand you’ve settled in quite well there.”
Angel didn’t say anything for a moment. “No, I’m going away for a while. Someplace quiet. Sometimes it’s hard to think in LA.” His voice trailed off. “You?”
“How I spent my summer vacation, you mean? Everything is at sixes and sevens. We’re patrolling. I have no urgent need to see the Council again. I’m still needed here for a while. I really haven’t thought much beyond each day.”
“I should be going,” Angel said. “Thanks for the whiskey and the couch.”
“Yes. It was good to share it with someone. With you.” Giles put out his hand. “Goodbye.”
Angel shook Giles’ hand and turned to go. Giles walked him to the door, and watched broad-shouldered figure disappear into the night. “Good luck,” thought Giles, “good luck to us all.”