Fic: When We Are Happy
Quick post before I run out the door. First off you should all come over to my journal (yes, yes, come over here. Don't be afraid) and check out my new layout. Be sure to scrool downward for the full effect of boysmut.
Author: Stephanie (Gildedmuse)
Series: When We Are Happy
Chapter: Part Seven: Have A Kitten
Pairing: Roger/Mark
Rating: Pg-13 (Language, Sexual Suggestions)
Word Count: 5,430
Summary: After putting the Mark's newphews and neice to bed, it's time for some grown up discussions.
Author Notes: This is the last chapter of Feline Jealousy! Unless I think of more fluff that needs to be added, but seeing as I have cover kittens, kids, and parks I'm feeling good that this will probably be it.
Other Part: Part One/Two: Feline Jealousy/How To Play Nice
Part Three/Four: Presents & Pretense/Mimoso Art-Albina Pistol Marx Cohen & Us
Part Five: Kids Will Be Kids
Part Six: Day Out
(All chapters at FF.NET)
Cross-Posting: _rentfic,rentslash,fuckingartists & below14thstreet
When We Are Happy
Chapter Four: Have A Kitten
Well, that certainly doesn't smell like food.
Wrinkling his nose at the sweet and metallic sort of scent that is coming from the can, he bats it and sends it rolling against the wall with an empty sounding ring. He crouches down and watches it roll along when a loud growl startles him into jumping backwards. He looks around wildly for whatever is coming at him when he realizes that it's his stomach making that noise. He stares down at his own tummy, which feels like it's crunching up inside of him. He needs food.
He walks back to the empty can, sniffing it again as if suddenly it will smell like something to eat. Back with his mom and sisters and brothers he'd been feed from a bag and always kept comfortable on big piles of furry floors. Only then, and he doesn't know why, he got thrown out and hasn't seen any of his family since. They just picked him up and left him here with this can that smells too sweet to eat. He gives a small whine, pushing at the empty can and licking at it. Ick. It tastes horrible, leaves him whimpering even more with this horrible taste in his mouth.
He bats at the can and it rolls back up to hit the wall. His stomach crunches up again. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry.
Hitting the can had been his last idea, and now he has no idea what else to do. He knows he needs to eat but he can't find food. He's never had to find it on his own before. He doesn't know where to look. He remembers the bags from where Mommy was and he knows what food should smell like. Only he can't pick up on that scent anywhere. It feels like he's drowning in smells, but none of them are right.
He tried to get home. He really did, but no one ever let him in again and so he keeps on being lost. And hungry. He's so hungry. He just wants his mom back to feed him.
He tries staring at the can for a while longer, but it isn't doing anything else. He needs to eat. His stomach keeps aching and making scary noises. He wants something to eat more than anything and also to be back in that place with his mom and sisters and brothers and find out why they hate him enough to throw him out here without any food.
Back and forth humans walk past him, but none stop to look at him so none must be the human who picked him up and tossed him out. They're huge animals, too, way too big to approach, so he can't even try and get one to take him back home. They could all squish him under their big, heavy feet, and he doesn't want to be squished. They just keep walking past him, and he can hear their giant feet and loud voices booming out at him.
"No, it's one fucking drop! Half a fucking drop and you can't fucking sell the first time it looks like bad news, okay? We put too much in that to have you fucking dripping it like that because of one fucking bad day."
"We HAVE to go, Anna, we HAVE to. One of my favorite actresses from Children of the Revolution is in it and I KNOW you didn't like Wizard of Oz but this is TOTALLY different. We HAVE to."
"He did! I know, I told him, like, he has some really, really serious problems if he thinks I'm, like, doing anything like that, right? And I totally told him that, like, right to his face. Well, yeah, I left a message but he's, like, gonna have to check them, right?"
"Roger, Matt threw up back there. I don't think he wants to go out for pizza.... Where is Amanda?"
Caught listening to all the high pitched voices coming from the humans, he doesn't hear the footsteps getting closer until their pounding right next to him. He freezes up as the heavy feet tread over to him, probably coming to squish him and he doesn't know how to escape! The human bends down, light yellow furr falling beside its bare, pink skinned face as it gets closer to him. Maybe... Maybe it's come back to take him home to his mom, but it looks too small and his human didn't have bright yellow fur. They all kind of look the same to him, but he is still pretty sure that this is not the human that is going to take him back home.
Since it isn't going to take him back to his mom so that he can eat, it must want to hunt him. He gets low to the ground to pounce if he needs to, growling up at the large human. Only the sound he makes isn't even as scary as the one his stomach can make. Still, he valiantly tries to swat at its fur to make it leave him alone. He isn't going to be squished!
It takes its hand back and he's sure it's going to swat back at him so he tries to take off, but it's too big. It grabs him first and even though he's whining and thrashing about it manages to pick him up. "Let me go!" he meows as loud as he can, but even though he's only three weeks old he knows that humans don't understand him most of the time. They're too big to hear little cries.
"What a cute little kitty!" It says as it picks him up. He's still struggling around in its over sized paws to try and escape before it can squish him or move him even further away like the last human did. He is just trying to get used to this spot. They can't make him leave again. He'll be even more lost and still hungry.
"Let me go!" He hisses and wiggles and tries to scratch but he still hasn't managed to always get his paws to move exactly how he wants them too. It doesn't let go of him, just tightens its paws around him so that no matter how much he squirms it has him trapped.
"Ahhh," is what the human says back to him. "Don't worry little kitty, I won't hurt you."
He doesn't believe it and he doesn't stop fighting to get away from it. The last human took him away from his mommy. Why should he trust this one? "Please don't squish me," he meows as he tries to slip through her paws but he can't get loose. "I just wanted something to eat."
He's struggling and struggling but it just keeps holding onto him, bringing him against its body and fake fur to keep him still. Finally, with being hungry and small and all, he tires himself out and can't do anything more then mewl pathetically in its paws. "What a good kitty," it says as it starts to stroke his head. It does feel good, but he's too afraid to enjoy it properly. "You're so cute. What are you doing out here all alone, huh kitty?"
"Amanda!" Both the human and he jerk up at the voice, even louder than most of the human voices he is use to hearing pass him by. It's booming and followed by pounding footsteps that were probably shaking the ground. "Amanda, what are you doing back there?"
"Don't worry, okay kitty?" Before he can even meow the human is moving him. It drops him down into some blinding pink cage. Where is he now? Why is he being moved again? He starts to meow and scratch at the side of the pink that is all around him but nothing happens.
Then the cage starts to bounce, knocking him back down to his feet. "I'm fine," a voice says from outside, and even though it's a little muffled he knows it's that human that had picked him up and but him into the bouncing pink cage. He tries to get up, to whine and get her attention but he can't keep his balance in this weird cage.
"Amanda!" The loud voice again. He tries to meow for its attention, but no one pulls him out. "Thank God. There you are. Don't go wandering off like that!"
"I'm sorry." The pink walls start to shake even more and being tossed about, unable to stand, his stomach cramping, it leaves him feeling dizzy and makes everything go black.
*
"Let me!"
"No!"
"Let me!"
"No!"
"Why not?" This is one of those kid fights that doesn't look like it's going to resolve itself. With a sigh he reaches down and grabs Adam, picking him up and away from Amanda who is holding her purse to her chest protectively from her little brother.
"Leave her alone, Adam." Adam twists back in his arms, all confused eyes and a pout as he stares up at Roger. All day he's been acting like the cool older brother, and Roger knows Adam is expecting at least a little more than an exhausted, parental sounding order but Roger can't force anything else out of him right now. He shrugs and ruffles up Adam's hair before setting him down again.
Mark comes in behind him, trailed by Matt. Roger doesn't even look at him when he closes the door, and he's been friends with Mark long enough to hear the frustration in that slam, just puts a hand on Adam's head and pushes him towards Mark's old room. "Let's put you in bed." Adam gives a small, dissatisfied grunt, and Roger just pushes him harder. He doesn't want to have to deal with Adam's pouting right now. Honestly, what he really wants to do is curl up in bed and pout himself.
It's like I have the fucking plague.
Damnit. Roger closes his eyes, letting go of Adam as they get to the bed. Why the hell would Mark say something like that?
"Roger?" Roger opens his eyes, looking down at Adam who has crawled up onto the under stuffed, squeaky old bed. He is staring up at Roger with big, Mark-blue eyes. Like a little mirror of Mark, age four. Roger can't help but smile at him, kneeling down to Adam.
The kid yawns in his face, and Roger just laughs and ruffles his hair. He's so easy to like. "Yeah?" He wishes Mark were as easy to read as Adam. He wishes he didn't hold everything in until he explodes; even Roger sees how unhealthy that has to be. He wishes he'd never stabbed himself with that needle and gotten himself and April sick. Maybe then he could be with Mark like Mark wants instead of this forced distance between them. Maybe then smiling with Mark would be as easy as it is with Adam.
"When are mommy and daddy coming to get me?" Roger pulls back the covers for Adam, pulling a pillow and patting it until he lays back, his eyes still fixed on Roger and waiting.
"After you get some sleep," Roger says, pulling the covers around Adam and tucking him in. Adam looks doubtful, but he doesn't question Roger. That is nice, being trusted without question. Mark should just trust him like that without them having to talk about the reasons. Maybe that's not fair, but it's been a while since anything in their lives was fair.
Adam almost has his eyes closed when the door opens and he bolts back up again. Matt looks at the two of them with that same annoyed expression he's been wearing all day. Roger doesn't get why Adam likes him so much, even after listening to Adam talk about how cool his older brother was for most of their carousal ride. "Mark said I have to sleep in here."
Grunting, Roger grabs the side of the bed and pushes himself back to his feet. "There's plenty of room," he said, pointing to the other side of Adam. Matt couldn't look more upset if Roger had told him he'd be sleeping in a pit of snakes. Ruffling Adam's hair he lies him back down. "Night, Adam."
"Night, Rog," Adam trails off to a yawn as Matt strips down to his boxers, staying as far as he could from his brother when he crawls into the bed.
"You better not pee while you're asleep," Matt grumbles. Roger rolls his eyes and leaves the two alone, padding back out into the living room. Mark is bent over the couch, putting Amanda to bed. Roger tries to sneak by, and neither of them seem to notice him as he goes around Mark. He doesn't want to fight again tonight. Luckily, Mark seems to be absorbed in telling her a story. Roger knows this one, having heard Maureen and Mark joke about it before. The Three Little Pigs and the Wolfish Corporation Set On Blowing Down Their Housing Project.
If they ever had kids, there is no way he'd let Mark tell them that story. Kids shouldn't be political, they should be loved and have fun. Roger shakes his head as he crawls into bed, kicking off his clothes and collapsing under the covers. What a weird thought to have. Maybe not. There had been a time when he would have sworn that, yeah, one day he and April would have some sort of family.
That's before he ruined it for them, ruined their whole lives. Who would want to have a family with a diseased, broken rock star? April didn't even want to stay alive for him. Mimi didn't even think he was worth more than heroin.
It's been years and months and everything, and he has Mark now, but these things still hurt. It's not like just because he isn't with her that he's stopped feeling guilty about April or stopped loving Mimi. It's not like just because he won't touch him that he loves Mark any less. He's just trying to keep him safe. From Roger.
He tries to get to sleep before Mark comes in, curling up in the blankets and keeping his eyes locked shut even when he hears the door open and shut, Mark walking over to the bed, the mattress dipping with his weight. He's set on ignoring Mark, even when the smaller boy wraps his arms around his waist, kissing at his shoulder and hands stroking at his stomach, making it very clear that he wants his attention.
Roger keeps himself still under Mark's hands. The distance is for Mark's own good and Mark knows this, he's just being pushy. He keeps being pushy, too, touching and kissing and trying to get some reaction to Roger. When he gets nothing he sighs, but doesn't let go no matter how much Roger wishes he would. It would make this easier if Mark would let go.
"I'm scared, too." Even though it's clear that Roger's sleeping trick isn't fooling anyone, he keeps his eyes shut. In the morning he'll wake up wrapped around Mark, they'll kiss and whine about getting up, Roger will play with Cohen and Mark will go out filming. They'll lie back down in bed at night, touching and kissing without going any further. It's been working for the last few weeks, why does Mark have to push? "And, yeah, this isn't easy, but that doesn't mean we should just give up."
It's not giving up, Roger thinks. It's just common sense. Mark is healthy, and he deserves to stay that way. Roger starts to try and wiggle away as Mark strokes along his stomach, chin propped up on Roger's shoulder. He doesn't get very far, though, and Mark is still refusing to let go. "Okay, fine. I'm fucking terrified, alright?" he grumbles, kissing Roger's ear, getting no response. "But I've never given up on you before, and I'm not gonna start just because you're being a stubborn asshole."
Okay, that deserves some kind of reaction. Sighing, Roger twists around in Mark's arms to face him even as he is still struggling just a bit to try and get away. "Would you stop that?" he says, brushing Mark off of him. Mark at least seems to get the point and stops kissing Roger, his arms still loosely slung around Roger so that he can't escape. "I'm not scared." He's terrified, and who wouldn't be in his position? In a relationship with a guy you've known for years and loved for at least the last three, carrying around this plague in your body and not wanting to hurt him. "I... I don't want to see you get... sick."
"Bullshit."
Roger frowns, growling just a bit and knocking Mark's arms off of him. "What do you mean, bullshit? You could get sick."
"I know I could," Mark says, and his eyes are narrowed. That look of total obsession that he gets about film, that look where he isn't about to back down. Right now Roger really hates that look. "I know you have HIV, I've seen what it could do and I. Still. Want. To. Be. With. You. Now stop punishing yourself for getting sick and stop punishing me because you're scared."
Roger can't even think of a reply to that, lying there completely still as he stares at Mark, who is almost glaring back at him. This is definitely one of those things he's been holding in until it boils over. "Look," he says, relaxing just a little. "You and me, we deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else, right?"
*
The only sounds in the big, empty room are covers being tossed about, the mattress squeaking, and Adam's occasional sniffle.
He rolls further down the bed, feeling one of his legs slipping off the side. Matt just takes the place where he'd just been, kicking and thrashing under the covers. Adam tried to wake him up already, and just got a bruised arm. He doesn't know what to do. Matt's scary when he sleeps, but Adam heard that if you wake people up from nightmares they could die. He doesn't want Matt to die.
The next time Matt's feet come swinging at him and Adam tries to get a away he falls to the hard floor. He whines softly, but Matt doesn't stop kicking even with Adam on the floor. Holding back a few sniffles he climbs up to his feet. He doesn't want to stay with Matt anymore. Sleeping with him hurts.
Pulling at his shirt, Adam drags himself out into the living room. He doesn't know where else to go. If daddy where here, he'd let Adam sleep in his lap, but he isn't so Adam might not get to sleep at all and then Mommy and Daddy might not come pick him up and he'll never sleep again!
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty...." Sniffing a bit, Adam rubs at his eyes as he pushes the bedroom door open. He forgets about not being able to sleep for a moment as he watches his sister try and push the couch back. "Come on, kitty... Come back...."
"Manda?" Amanda jumps back when Adam calls for her, like she's been caught trying to play with daddy's computer.
"What are you doing up?" she asks, crossing her hands over her chest and giving him a tough look. "You should be asleep. It's way past your bedtime."
That just makes Adam remember that he can't sleep and start to sniffle again. "I can't sleep. Matt is kicking me."
"Then tell him to stop!" Amanda says, rolling her eyes and sighing like Adam is stupid. She gets on her knees and starts looking under the chairs and couch without even waiting for Adam to leave.
"I can't," he says, walking towards his big sister. He sits on the ground next to her, curiously looking under the couch to try and see what she is looking at. "He's asleep. I don't want him to die."
"God!" Amanda says, dropping the flap off the couch and rolling her eyes again. "You're such a baby."
"Am not!" Adam protests, sticking his thumb in his mouth and biting at the tip. He feels ready to cry. He wants Mommy and Daddy and for someone to be nice to him and to sleep without Matt hitting him.
"Are to!" Amanda says, giving Adam a shove and he sobs, rubbing at his shoulder. "Don't cry," she says, wagging a finger at him and Adam can't help it. He doesn't even want to cry, he just can't stop. He rubs at his eyes, trying to get the tears to go back in. It makes Amanda look even more annoyed with him, which makes Adam sob some more. "Don't do that," she says, pulling his thumb out of his mouth. Sighing she stands up, grabbing Adam and pulling him along even when he starts to cry. "Here," she says, letting him go in front of the door. "Just go sleep with Uncle Mark and Roger."
Adam looks up at his sister, eyes all wet even when he is trying to keep them in. He just wants to be back at home in his room with Mommy and Daddy. Amanda sighs and opens the door and shoves him in before closing it behind him.
"Jesus..." Adam stumbles into the room as Amanda pushes him, staring up at the bed as Roger jumps off of Uncle Mark's lap. "What the hell are - ouch! Roger!"
"Hey..." Roger crawls down to Adam, ruffling his hair. "What's up?"
Taking his thumb out of his mouth, Adam leans into Roger's hand. At least he's kind of like a daddy. "I can't sleep."
"Is it too dark?" Uncle Mark asks, and he looks like Amanda. Not happy that Adam is here. "Do you need a night light?"
"I'm four," Adam says, pouting and climbing up on the bed, closer to Roger who pulls him into his lap just like Daddy would. "I'm not afraid of the dark. Matt says only baby's are afraid of the dark." Adam isn't afraid of the dark, but he does have a night-light back at home just in case something crawls under his bed, he'll be able to see it and yell for help. He isn't a baby, though. Lots of people do that.
"Of course..." Uncle Mark sounds like Amanda, too, and it makes Adam sniffle. He's going to kick him out and make him sleep on the floor or outside where Mommy and Daddy won't be able to find him just because Adam couldn't sleep with Matt kicking him. "Well, do you -"
"Come here." Adam turn back to look at Roger, who smiles at him as he lies him down, pulling the covers up around him. "How about you sleep with Mark and me?" Adam smiles at Roger, nodding and curling up against him. Roger is so cool, he knows exactly what Adam wants and he didn't even have to say anything, and he's going to keep Uncle Mark from kicking him out.
"Roger...."
"Mark." Adam laughs a bit against Roger's chest, which makes him feel better. They sound a lot like his parents and it's funny because that would make Roger his mommy.
With a small growl, Uncle Mark lies down with them, putting a hand over Adam so that he's wrapped between them like he is when he has to sleep with his mommy and daddy back home. "You better be glad I fu- I love you." It's nice, and he closes his eyes and can fall asleep without having to worry about people under his bed or being kicked to death.
*
"It's so great that you're so good with kids."
After last night Mark is pretty sure the worst thing in the world is having his nephew pushed between him and Roger when they were that close to getting somewhere physically. That was, after all, wrong and disgusting and really, really frustrating and Mark figured, hey, it doesn't get much worse than that.
Only he was wrong.
The worst thing is standing here listening to his sister flirt with his boyfriend while she picks up her kids. Yeah, that is definitely one of the worst things ever, and Mark can't even say all that much. Not without giving himself away to her and having her run back to Mom with the news (better that it filters itself out some from his friend to friend's parents to mom - or at least that gives him more time). Definitely not without scarring the children.
"Yeah, well..." Maybe the worst thing is how Roger smiles and soaks the praise up. That is also on the list, anyway. "They're good kids, easy to look out for."
"Your girlfriend," Cindy says, blushing a bit like Roger has complemented her figure and not her parenting skills. "Must be a very lucky girl." It takes a lot of self-restraint not to yell, "Boyfriend!" in his sister's face right then. Roger just keeps smiling, although it's definitely getting a bit wicked. Now might be a good time to get his sister out of her before something bad happens.
"It's nice seeing you again, Cindy," Mark says as he grabs the door, not sure how much clearer he can make his point. "You should call next time."
Roger snorts, barely hiding his smile behind his hand. Cindy doesn't seem to notice, anyway, since she's so busy glaring at Mark and all. "Amanda!" She calls, and hey, at least she got the point. Amanda comes out from Roger's bedroom. She's been looking under furniture all day calling for Cohen.
Even now she's dragging herself out of the room, pouting as she glances behind her and around her, trying to sneak a peak under the couch and calling, "Here, kitty, kitty." Looking back at her mom, she wears a pout that reminds Mark of Maureen. Or maybe Roger. "But..."
"Come on, Amanda, it's time to go," Cindy says, grabbing her daughter's hand. She keeps whining, even as her mom drags her out the door. "Thanks for looking after them, Roger," Cindy says, ignoring Amanda's complaining and grabbing Adam from Roger's arms. "It was nice to have an evening out with Dan without having to worry about the kids."
"And I did nothing?" He isn't really all that offended; he just wishes his sister would stop looking at Roger like she's imagining him naked. Mark already imagines that enough for both of them.
Cindy rolls her eyes a little, just like Mom used to. "Love you, Mark," she says, giving him a quick peck on the cheek as she turns and heads to the waiting cab to take her and the kids back to suburban paradise.
"Love you Cindy," Mark says, even as he is shutting the door behind the group. "Matt, Amanda, Adam!"
Once the door is securely shut, Roger snorts in laughter, wrapping his arms around Mark and leaning into him. "You really do love them," he says with a wide smile as he leans in for a kiss.
Mark laughs against Roger's lips, playfully nipping at him as roger pulls back. "They're my family," he points out, and yeah it's sort of cliché but Mark will always love his family. Even when they're pint sized and annoying. "Course I love them."
"You know," Roger says as he ruffles up Mark's hair, even though he knows it annoys him. Probably because he knows that, and Mark has to growl all playfully and knock his hand away. "I always wanted kids like that..."
That is a weird thing to hear coming from Roger. Enough to throw Mark off balance for a few beats. Ignoring whatever that is supposed to mean, Mark makes a face and swats at Roger's shoulder. "Next time you flirt with my sister, I disown you as a friend."
Roger laughs at him again, letting Mark wiggle out of his arms. "I wasn't flirting," he says, following after Mark as he heads back into the bedroom. Rolling his eyes and, fuck, isn't he just like the rest of his family, he twists his head back and gives Roger a look. He doesn't believe him. He knows the old Roger would flirt with anything. He's seen it before. Roger takes another swat at him, a little lower this time. "You think that was flirting..."
With a very undignified squeak, Mark stumbles forward. "Roger!" Roger is laughing at him, watching Mark rather ungracefully trip over his jacket, kicking it up off the floor. "Roger!" he says again as he turns back around, hand rubbing his ass where Roger had hit him. He really is about to tackle Roger and teach him a lesson, really he is, when he notices the small, surprised bunch that had been huddled under Roger's jacket.
Cohen stares up at him with huge blue eyes and, yeah, that isn't strange. What is out of place is the little bundle of fur next to him, green eyes looking up at Mark with that same wide-eyed cat expression. Before he can get away Mark reaches down and scopes up the little thing, even smaller than Cohen when they first got him. "What's this?"
Roger stops laughing at him, walking up to Mark and examining the small kitten in his hands. "It's a cat."
"Yeah," Mark says, pushing his glasses up his nose as if that will make this picture clearer. "What's it doing here?"
Roger starts to stroke at the little thing's dark fur and the kitten jumps; Mark can feel its heart racing against his hand, before settling down under Roger's hand. "Maybe..." He smiles, scratching behind the thing's ear, getting it to purr. "Maybe he's Cohen's date." He looks down at the white cat, who is meowing and trying to climb up Roger's leg. "You getting lucky tonight, boy?"
"Considering I doubt either of them are spaded, you better hope it's a guy," Mark says, holding the kitten against his chest. It's got really bright green eyes that are staring up at him like he's a titian. It's probably the first time Mark has ever felt big. "I wonder where it came from...."
Roger sets an arm around Mark's shoulders, leaning into him and staring at the kitten along with Mark. "Are we keeping it?"
"Well... We can't just throw it out, can we?" Maybe Mark likes the cat just a little, but it's so small and defenseless looking, like he needs someone to take care of him. Mark can't just toss him away when he needs someone like that. "Besides," he says, smiling at Roger. "Now we have a set. A little Davis."
Roger's eyebrows go up, his lips quirk in amusement, and Mark can tell that he's being made fun of. It doesn't make him want to take it back, though. The thing is dark with green eyes, and why shouldn't he be allowed to call him Davis? It's a better name than Cohen. "You want a set?" Roger teases, prodding Mark gently in the side making him and the kitten jump just a bit. "Wouldn't it have to be something like Davis Clockwork Socrates Gato Scruffy Mcfilmster?"
Mark laughs, a sound that vibrates into the cat and makes its heart beat wildly again. To try and spare the poor thing a heart attack, Mark bends over and sets it down. It goes running off, quickly followed by Cohen. "Something like that."
He isn't even done standing back up yet when Roger has him in his arms, kissing Mark. Not the way they have before, slow and cautious and knowing it wouldn't go much further. A hard kiss. A kiss that leaves him flushed and breathless and all his thought scrambled. The sort of kiss that Mark hasn't had in a very long time, and when Roger does pull back, Mark is swaying in his arms from forgetting exactly how it was he is supposed to breath.
It makes him feel at least a little better that Roger looks just as shocked and out of it. He licks at his lips, hot breath coming in short gasps against Mark's skin. "I..."
Mark doesn't want to give Roger time to think, to change his mind, to feel guilty about being in love and freak them both out again. He grabs his hand, squeezing tight as he pulls Roger back towards the bed. "Come on. I want to try and get you pregnant."
Author: Stephanie (Gildedmuse)
Series: When We Are Happy
Chapter: Part Seven: Have A Kitten
Pairing: Roger/Mark
Rating: Pg-13 (Language, Sexual Suggestions)
Word Count: 5,430
Summary: After putting the Mark's newphews and neice to bed, it's time for some grown up discussions.
Author Notes: This is the last chapter of Feline Jealousy! Unless I think of more fluff that needs to be added, but seeing as I have cover kittens, kids, and parks I'm feeling good that this will probably be it.
Other Part: Part One/Two: Feline Jealousy/How To Play Nice
Part Three/Four: Presents & Pretense/Mimoso Art-Albina Pistol Marx Cohen & Us
Part Five: Kids Will Be Kids
Part Six: Day Out
(All chapters at FF.NET)
Cross-Posting: _rentfic,rentslash,fuckingartists & below14thstreet
When We Are Happy
Chapter Four: Have A Kitten
Well, that certainly doesn't smell like food.
Wrinkling his nose at the sweet and metallic sort of scent that is coming from the can, he bats it and sends it rolling against the wall with an empty sounding ring. He crouches down and watches it roll along when a loud growl startles him into jumping backwards. He looks around wildly for whatever is coming at him when he realizes that it's his stomach making that noise. He stares down at his own tummy, which feels like it's crunching up inside of him. He needs food.
He walks back to the empty can, sniffing it again as if suddenly it will smell like something to eat. Back with his mom and sisters and brothers he'd been feed from a bag and always kept comfortable on big piles of furry floors. Only then, and he doesn't know why, he got thrown out and hasn't seen any of his family since. They just picked him up and left him here with this can that smells too sweet to eat. He gives a small whine, pushing at the empty can and licking at it. Ick. It tastes horrible, leaves him whimpering even more with this horrible taste in his mouth.
He bats at the can and it rolls back up to hit the wall. His stomach crunches up again. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry.
Hitting the can had been his last idea, and now he has no idea what else to do. He knows he needs to eat but he can't find food. He's never had to find it on his own before. He doesn't know where to look. He remembers the bags from where Mommy was and he knows what food should smell like. Only he can't pick up on that scent anywhere. It feels like he's drowning in smells, but none of them are right.
He tried to get home. He really did, but no one ever let him in again and so he keeps on being lost. And hungry. He's so hungry. He just wants his mom back to feed him.
He tries staring at the can for a while longer, but it isn't doing anything else. He needs to eat. His stomach keeps aching and making scary noises. He wants something to eat more than anything and also to be back in that place with his mom and sisters and brothers and find out why they hate him enough to throw him out here without any food.
Back and forth humans walk past him, but none stop to look at him so none must be the human who picked him up and tossed him out. They're huge animals, too, way too big to approach, so he can't even try and get one to take him back home. They could all squish him under their big, heavy feet, and he doesn't want to be squished. They just keep walking past him, and he can hear their giant feet and loud voices booming out at him.
"No, it's one fucking drop! Half a fucking drop and you can't fucking sell the first time it looks like bad news, okay? We put too much in that to have you fucking dripping it like that because of one fucking bad day."
"We HAVE to go, Anna, we HAVE to. One of my favorite actresses from Children of the Revolution is in it and I KNOW you didn't like Wizard of Oz but this is TOTALLY different. We HAVE to."
"He did! I know, I told him, like, he has some really, really serious problems if he thinks I'm, like, doing anything like that, right? And I totally told him that, like, right to his face. Well, yeah, I left a message but he's, like, gonna have to check them, right?"
"Roger, Matt threw up back there. I don't think he wants to go out for pizza.... Where is Amanda?"
Caught listening to all the high pitched voices coming from the humans, he doesn't hear the footsteps getting closer until their pounding right next to him. He freezes up as the heavy feet tread over to him, probably coming to squish him and he doesn't know how to escape! The human bends down, light yellow furr falling beside its bare, pink skinned face as it gets closer to him. Maybe... Maybe it's come back to take him home to his mom, but it looks too small and his human didn't have bright yellow fur. They all kind of look the same to him, but he is still pretty sure that this is not the human that is going to take him back home.
Since it isn't going to take him back to his mom so that he can eat, it must want to hunt him. He gets low to the ground to pounce if he needs to, growling up at the large human. Only the sound he makes isn't even as scary as the one his stomach can make. Still, he valiantly tries to swat at its fur to make it leave him alone. He isn't going to be squished!
It takes its hand back and he's sure it's going to swat back at him so he tries to take off, but it's too big. It grabs him first and even though he's whining and thrashing about it manages to pick him up. "Let me go!" he meows as loud as he can, but even though he's only three weeks old he knows that humans don't understand him most of the time. They're too big to hear little cries.
"What a cute little kitty!" It says as it picks him up. He's still struggling around in its over sized paws to try and escape before it can squish him or move him even further away like the last human did. He is just trying to get used to this spot. They can't make him leave again. He'll be even more lost and still hungry.
"Let me go!" He hisses and wiggles and tries to scratch but he still hasn't managed to always get his paws to move exactly how he wants them too. It doesn't let go of him, just tightens its paws around him so that no matter how much he squirms it has him trapped.
"Ahhh," is what the human says back to him. "Don't worry little kitty, I won't hurt you."
He doesn't believe it and he doesn't stop fighting to get away from it. The last human took him away from his mommy. Why should he trust this one? "Please don't squish me," he meows as he tries to slip through her paws but he can't get loose. "I just wanted something to eat."
He's struggling and struggling but it just keeps holding onto him, bringing him against its body and fake fur to keep him still. Finally, with being hungry and small and all, he tires himself out and can't do anything more then mewl pathetically in its paws. "What a good kitty," it says as it starts to stroke his head. It does feel good, but he's too afraid to enjoy it properly. "You're so cute. What are you doing out here all alone, huh kitty?"
"Amanda!" Both the human and he jerk up at the voice, even louder than most of the human voices he is use to hearing pass him by. It's booming and followed by pounding footsteps that were probably shaking the ground. "Amanda, what are you doing back there?"
"Don't worry, okay kitty?" Before he can even meow the human is moving him. It drops him down into some blinding pink cage. Where is he now? Why is he being moved again? He starts to meow and scratch at the side of the pink that is all around him but nothing happens.
Then the cage starts to bounce, knocking him back down to his feet. "I'm fine," a voice says from outside, and even though it's a little muffled he knows it's that human that had picked him up and but him into the bouncing pink cage. He tries to get up, to whine and get her attention but he can't keep his balance in this weird cage.
"Amanda!" The loud voice again. He tries to meow for its attention, but no one pulls him out. "Thank God. There you are. Don't go wandering off like that!"
"I'm sorry." The pink walls start to shake even more and being tossed about, unable to stand, his stomach cramping, it leaves him feeling dizzy and makes everything go black.
*
"Let me!"
"No!"
"Let me!"
"No!"
"Why not?" This is one of those kid fights that doesn't look like it's going to resolve itself. With a sigh he reaches down and grabs Adam, picking him up and away from Amanda who is holding her purse to her chest protectively from her little brother.
"Leave her alone, Adam." Adam twists back in his arms, all confused eyes and a pout as he stares up at Roger. All day he's been acting like the cool older brother, and Roger knows Adam is expecting at least a little more than an exhausted, parental sounding order but Roger can't force anything else out of him right now. He shrugs and ruffles up Adam's hair before setting him down again.
Mark comes in behind him, trailed by Matt. Roger doesn't even look at him when he closes the door, and he's been friends with Mark long enough to hear the frustration in that slam, just puts a hand on Adam's head and pushes him towards Mark's old room. "Let's put you in bed." Adam gives a small, dissatisfied grunt, and Roger just pushes him harder. He doesn't want to have to deal with Adam's pouting right now. Honestly, what he really wants to do is curl up in bed and pout himself.
It's like I have the fucking plague.
Damnit. Roger closes his eyes, letting go of Adam as they get to the bed. Why the hell would Mark say something like that?
"Roger?" Roger opens his eyes, looking down at Adam who has crawled up onto the under stuffed, squeaky old bed. He is staring up at Roger with big, Mark-blue eyes. Like a little mirror of Mark, age four. Roger can't help but smile at him, kneeling down to Adam.
The kid yawns in his face, and Roger just laughs and ruffles his hair. He's so easy to like. "Yeah?" He wishes Mark were as easy to read as Adam. He wishes he didn't hold everything in until he explodes; even Roger sees how unhealthy that has to be. He wishes he'd never stabbed himself with that needle and gotten himself and April sick. Maybe then he could be with Mark like Mark wants instead of this forced distance between them. Maybe then smiling with Mark would be as easy as it is with Adam.
"When are mommy and daddy coming to get me?" Roger pulls back the covers for Adam, pulling a pillow and patting it until he lays back, his eyes still fixed on Roger and waiting.
"After you get some sleep," Roger says, pulling the covers around Adam and tucking him in. Adam looks doubtful, but he doesn't question Roger. That is nice, being trusted without question. Mark should just trust him like that without them having to talk about the reasons. Maybe that's not fair, but it's been a while since anything in their lives was fair.
Adam almost has his eyes closed when the door opens and he bolts back up again. Matt looks at the two of them with that same annoyed expression he's been wearing all day. Roger doesn't get why Adam likes him so much, even after listening to Adam talk about how cool his older brother was for most of their carousal ride. "Mark said I have to sleep in here."
Grunting, Roger grabs the side of the bed and pushes himself back to his feet. "There's plenty of room," he said, pointing to the other side of Adam. Matt couldn't look more upset if Roger had told him he'd be sleeping in a pit of snakes. Ruffling Adam's hair he lies him back down. "Night, Adam."
"Night, Rog," Adam trails off to a yawn as Matt strips down to his boxers, staying as far as he could from his brother when he crawls into the bed.
"You better not pee while you're asleep," Matt grumbles. Roger rolls his eyes and leaves the two alone, padding back out into the living room. Mark is bent over the couch, putting Amanda to bed. Roger tries to sneak by, and neither of them seem to notice him as he goes around Mark. He doesn't want to fight again tonight. Luckily, Mark seems to be absorbed in telling her a story. Roger knows this one, having heard Maureen and Mark joke about it before. The Three Little Pigs and the Wolfish Corporation Set On Blowing Down Their Housing Project.
If they ever had kids, there is no way he'd let Mark tell them that story. Kids shouldn't be political, they should be loved and have fun. Roger shakes his head as he crawls into bed, kicking off his clothes and collapsing under the covers. What a weird thought to have. Maybe not. There had been a time when he would have sworn that, yeah, one day he and April would have some sort of family.
That's before he ruined it for them, ruined their whole lives. Who would want to have a family with a diseased, broken rock star? April didn't even want to stay alive for him. Mimi didn't even think he was worth more than heroin.
It's been years and months and everything, and he has Mark now, but these things still hurt. It's not like just because he isn't with her that he's stopped feeling guilty about April or stopped loving Mimi. It's not like just because he won't touch him that he loves Mark any less. He's just trying to keep him safe. From Roger.
He tries to get to sleep before Mark comes in, curling up in the blankets and keeping his eyes locked shut even when he hears the door open and shut, Mark walking over to the bed, the mattress dipping with his weight. He's set on ignoring Mark, even when the smaller boy wraps his arms around his waist, kissing at his shoulder and hands stroking at his stomach, making it very clear that he wants his attention.
Roger keeps himself still under Mark's hands. The distance is for Mark's own good and Mark knows this, he's just being pushy. He keeps being pushy, too, touching and kissing and trying to get some reaction to Roger. When he gets nothing he sighs, but doesn't let go no matter how much Roger wishes he would. It would make this easier if Mark would let go.
"I'm scared, too." Even though it's clear that Roger's sleeping trick isn't fooling anyone, he keeps his eyes shut. In the morning he'll wake up wrapped around Mark, they'll kiss and whine about getting up, Roger will play with Cohen and Mark will go out filming. They'll lie back down in bed at night, touching and kissing without going any further. It's been working for the last few weeks, why does Mark have to push? "And, yeah, this isn't easy, but that doesn't mean we should just give up."
It's not giving up, Roger thinks. It's just common sense. Mark is healthy, and he deserves to stay that way. Roger starts to try and wiggle away as Mark strokes along his stomach, chin propped up on Roger's shoulder. He doesn't get very far, though, and Mark is still refusing to let go. "Okay, fine. I'm fucking terrified, alright?" he grumbles, kissing Roger's ear, getting no response. "But I've never given up on you before, and I'm not gonna start just because you're being a stubborn asshole."
Okay, that deserves some kind of reaction. Sighing, Roger twists around in Mark's arms to face him even as he is still struggling just a bit to try and get away. "Would you stop that?" he says, brushing Mark off of him. Mark at least seems to get the point and stops kissing Roger, his arms still loosely slung around Roger so that he can't escape. "I'm not scared." He's terrified, and who wouldn't be in his position? In a relationship with a guy you've known for years and loved for at least the last three, carrying around this plague in your body and not wanting to hurt him. "I... I don't want to see you get... sick."
"Bullshit."
Roger frowns, growling just a bit and knocking Mark's arms off of him. "What do you mean, bullshit? You could get sick."
"I know I could," Mark says, and his eyes are narrowed. That look of total obsession that he gets about film, that look where he isn't about to back down. Right now Roger really hates that look. "I know you have HIV, I've seen what it could do and I. Still. Want. To. Be. With. You. Now stop punishing yourself for getting sick and stop punishing me because you're scared."
Roger can't even think of a reply to that, lying there completely still as he stares at Mark, who is almost glaring back at him. This is definitely one of those things he's been holding in until it boils over. "Look," he says, relaxing just a little. "You and me, we deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else, right?"
*
The only sounds in the big, empty room are covers being tossed about, the mattress squeaking, and Adam's occasional sniffle.
He rolls further down the bed, feeling one of his legs slipping off the side. Matt just takes the place where he'd just been, kicking and thrashing under the covers. Adam tried to wake him up already, and just got a bruised arm. He doesn't know what to do. Matt's scary when he sleeps, but Adam heard that if you wake people up from nightmares they could die. He doesn't want Matt to die.
The next time Matt's feet come swinging at him and Adam tries to get a away he falls to the hard floor. He whines softly, but Matt doesn't stop kicking even with Adam on the floor. Holding back a few sniffles he climbs up to his feet. He doesn't want to stay with Matt anymore. Sleeping with him hurts.
Pulling at his shirt, Adam drags himself out into the living room. He doesn't know where else to go. If daddy where here, he'd let Adam sleep in his lap, but he isn't so Adam might not get to sleep at all and then Mommy and Daddy might not come pick him up and he'll never sleep again!
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty...." Sniffing a bit, Adam rubs at his eyes as he pushes the bedroom door open. He forgets about not being able to sleep for a moment as he watches his sister try and push the couch back. "Come on, kitty... Come back...."
"Manda?" Amanda jumps back when Adam calls for her, like she's been caught trying to play with daddy's computer.
"What are you doing up?" she asks, crossing her hands over her chest and giving him a tough look. "You should be asleep. It's way past your bedtime."
That just makes Adam remember that he can't sleep and start to sniffle again. "I can't sleep. Matt is kicking me."
"Then tell him to stop!" Amanda says, rolling her eyes and sighing like Adam is stupid. She gets on her knees and starts looking under the chairs and couch without even waiting for Adam to leave.
"I can't," he says, walking towards his big sister. He sits on the ground next to her, curiously looking under the couch to try and see what she is looking at. "He's asleep. I don't want him to die."
"God!" Amanda says, dropping the flap off the couch and rolling her eyes again. "You're such a baby."
"Am not!" Adam protests, sticking his thumb in his mouth and biting at the tip. He feels ready to cry. He wants Mommy and Daddy and for someone to be nice to him and to sleep without Matt hitting him.
"Are to!" Amanda says, giving Adam a shove and he sobs, rubbing at his shoulder. "Don't cry," she says, wagging a finger at him and Adam can't help it. He doesn't even want to cry, he just can't stop. He rubs at his eyes, trying to get the tears to go back in. It makes Amanda look even more annoyed with him, which makes Adam sob some more. "Don't do that," she says, pulling his thumb out of his mouth. Sighing she stands up, grabbing Adam and pulling him along even when he starts to cry. "Here," she says, letting him go in front of the door. "Just go sleep with Uncle Mark and Roger."
Adam looks up at his sister, eyes all wet even when he is trying to keep them in. He just wants to be back at home in his room with Mommy and Daddy. Amanda sighs and opens the door and shoves him in before closing it behind him.
"Jesus..." Adam stumbles into the room as Amanda pushes him, staring up at the bed as Roger jumps off of Uncle Mark's lap. "What the hell are - ouch! Roger!"
"Hey..." Roger crawls down to Adam, ruffling his hair. "What's up?"
Taking his thumb out of his mouth, Adam leans into Roger's hand. At least he's kind of like a daddy. "I can't sleep."
"Is it too dark?" Uncle Mark asks, and he looks like Amanda. Not happy that Adam is here. "Do you need a night light?"
"I'm four," Adam says, pouting and climbing up on the bed, closer to Roger who pulls him into his lap just like Daddy would. "I'm not afraid of the dark. Matt says only baby's are afraid of the dark." Adam isn't afraid of the dark, but he does have a night-light back at home just in case something crawls under his bed, he'll be able to see it and yell for help. He isn't a baby, though. Lots of people do that.
"Of course..." Uncle Mark sounds like Amanda, too, and it makes Adam sniffle. He's going to kick him out and make him sleep on the floor or outside where Mommy and Daddy won't be able to find him just because Adam couldn't sleep with Matt kicking him. "Well, do you -"
"Come here." Adam turn back to look at Roger, who smiles at him as he lies him down, pulling the covers up around him. "How about you sleep with Mark and me?" Adam smiles at Roger, nodding and curling up against him. Roger is so cool, he knows exactly what Adam wants and he didn't even have to say anything, and he's going to keep Uncle Mark from kicking him out.
"Roger...."
"Mark." Adam laughs a bit against Roger's chest, which makes him feel better. They sound a lot like his parents and it's funny because that would make Roger his mommy.
With a small growl, Uncle Mark lies down with them, putting a hand over Adam so that he's wrapped between them like he is when he has to sleep with his mommy and daddy back home. "You better be glad I fu- I love you." It's nice, and he closes his eyes and can fall asleep without having to worry about people under his bed or being kicked to death.
*
"It's so great that you're so good with kids."
After last night Mark is pretty sure the worst thing in the world is having his nephew pushed between him and Roger when they were that close to getting somewhere physically. That was, after all, wrong and disgusting and really, really frustrating and Mark figured, hey, it doesn't get much worse than that.
Only he was wrong.
The worst thing is standing here listening to his sister flirt with his boyfriend while she picks up her kids. Yeah, that is definitely one of the worst things ever, and Mark can't even say all that much. Not without giving himself away to her and having her run back to Mom with the news (better that it filters itself out some from his friend to friend's parents to mom - or at least that gives him more time). Definitely not without scarring the children.
"Yeah, well..." Maybe the worst thing is how Roger smiles and soaks the praise up. That is also on the list, anyway. "They're good kids, easy to look out for."
"Your girlfriend," Cindy says, blushing a bit like Roger has complemented her figure and not her parenting skills. "Must be a very lucky girl." It takes a lot of self-restraint not to yell, "Boyfriend!" in his sister's face right then. Roger just keeps smiling, although it's definitely getting a bit wicked. Now might be a good time to get his sister out of her before something bad happens.
"It's nice seeing you again, Cindy," Mark says as he grabs the door, not sure how much clearer he can make his point. "You should call next time."
Roger snorts, barely hiding his smile behind his hand. Cindy doesn't seem to notice, anyway, since she's so busy glaring at Mark and all. "Amanda!" She calls, and hey, at least she got the point. Amanda comes out from Roger's bedroom. She's been looking under furniture all day calling for Cohen.
Even now she's dragging herself out of the room, pouting as she glances behind her and around her, trying to sneak a peak under the couch and calling, "Here, kitty, kitty." Looking back at her mom, she wears a pout that reminds Mark of Maureen. Or maybe Roger. "But..."
"Come on, Amanda, it's time to go," Cindy says, grabbing her daughter's hand. She keeps whining, even as her mom drags her out the door. "Thanks for looking after them, Roger," Cindy says, ignoring Amanda's complaining and grabbing Adam from Roger's arms. "It was nice to have an evening out with Dan without having to worry about the kids."
"And I did nothing?" He isn't really all that offended; he just wishes his sister would stop looking at Roger like she's imagining him naked. Mark already imagines that enough for both of them.
Cindy rolls her eyes a little, just like Mom used to. "Love you, Mark," she says, giving him a quick peck on the cheek as she turns and heads to the waiting cab to take her and the kids back to suburban paradise.
"Love you Cindy," Mark says, even as he is shutting the door behind the group. "Matt, Amanda, Adam!"
Once the door is securely shut, Roger snorts in laughter, wrapping his arms around Mark and leaning into him. "You really do love them," he says with a wide smile as he leans in for a kiss.
Mark laughs against Roger's lips, playfully nipping at him as roger pulls back. "They're my family," he points out, and yeah it's sort of cliché but Mark will always love his family. Even when they're pint sized and annoying. "Course I love them."
"You know," Roger says as he ruffles up Mark's hair, even though he knows it annoys him. Probably because he knows that, and Mark has to growl all playfully and knock his hand away. "I always wanted kids like that..."
That is a weird thing to hear coming from Roger. Enough to throw Mark off balance for a few beats. Ignoring whatever that is supposed to mean, Mark makes a face and swats at Roger's shoulder. "Next time you flirt with my sister, I disown you as a friend."
Roger laughs at him again, letting Mark wiggle out of his arms. "I wasn't flirting," he says, following after Mark as he heads back into the bedroom. Rolling his eyes and, fuck, isn't he just like the rest of his family, he twists his head back and gives Roger a look. He doesn't believe him. He knows the old Roger would flirt with anything. He's seen it before. Roger takes another swat at him, a little lower this time. "You think that was flirting..."
With a very undignified squeak, Mark stumbles forward. "Roger!" Roger is laughing at him, watching Mark rather ungracefully trip over his jacket, kicking it up off the floor. "Roger!" he says again as he turns back around, hand rubbing his ass where Roger had hit him. He really is about to tackle Roger and teach him a lesson, really he is, when he notices the small, surprised bunch that had been huddled under Roger's jacket.
Cohen stares up at him with huge blue eyes and, yeah, that isn't strange. What is out of place is the little bundle of fur next to him, green eyes looking up at Mark with that same wide-eyed cat expression. Before he can get away Mark reaches down and scopes up the little thing, even smaller than Cohen when they first got him. "What's this?"
Roger stops laughing at him, walking up to Mark and examining the small kitten in his hands. "It's a cat."
"Yeah," Mark says, pushing his glasses up his nose as if that will make this picture clearer. "What's it doing here?"
Roger starts to stroke at the little thing's dark fur and the kitten jumps; Mark can feel its heart racing against his hand, before settling down under Roger's hand. "Maybe..." He smiles, scratching behind the thing's ear, getting it to purr. "Maybe he's Cohen's date." He looks down at the white cat, who is meowing and trying to climb up Roger's leg. "You getting lucky tonight, boy?"
"Considering I doubt either of them are spaded, you better hope it's a guy," Mark says, holding the kitten against his chest. It's got really bright green eyes that are staring up at him like he's a titian. It's probably the first time Mark has ever felt big. "I wonder where it came from...."
Roger sets an arm around Mark's shoulders, leaning into him and staring at the kitten along with Mark. "Are we keeping it?"
"Well... We can't just throw it out, can we?" Maybe Mark likes the cat just a little, but it's so small and defenseless looking, like he needs someone to take care of him. Mark can't just toss him away when he needs someone like that. "Besides," he says, smiling at Roger. "Now we have a set. A little Davis."
Roger's eyebrows go up, his lips quirk in amusement, and Mark can tell that he's being made fun of. It doesn't make him want to take it back, though. The thing is dark with green eyes, and why shouldn't he be allowed to call him Davis? It's a better name than Cohen. "You want a set?" Roger teases, prodding Mark gently in the side making him and the kitten jump just a bit. "Wouldn't it have to be something like Davis Clockwork Socrates Gato Scruffy Mcfilmster?"
Mark laughs, a sound that vibrates into the cat and makes its heart beat wildly again. To try and spare the poor thing a heart attack, Mark bends over and sets it down. It goes running off, quickly followed by Cohen. "Something like that."
He isn't even done standing back up yet when Roger has him in his arms, kissing Mark. Not the way they have before, slow and cautious and knowing it wouldn't go much further. A hard kiss. A kiss that leaves him flushed and breathless and all his thought scrambled. The sort of kiss that Mark hasn't had in a very long time, and when Roger does pull back, Mark is swaying in his arms from forgetting exactly how it was he is supposed to breath.
It makes him feel at least a little better that Roger looks just as shocked and out of it. He licks at his lips, hot breath coming in short gasps against Mark's skin. "I..."
Mark doesn't want to give Roger time to think, to change his mind, to feel guilty about being in love and freak them both out again. He grabs his hand, squeezing tight as he pulls Roger back towards the bed. "Come on. I want to try and get you pregnant."