I have committed Merlin fic! Title: Wild Horses [NC-17] Arthur/Merlin
Title: Wild Horses
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~6,500
Disclaimer: Everything is on loan from the earth (and the BBC), therefore I own nothing. I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit.
Summary: Merlin used to think protecting Arthur from bandits, evil sorcerers and wild beasts, without being caught using magic, was the most dangerous part of being Arthur's manservant. Unfortunately, Arthur has a far more hazardous new job for him.
Notes: This started out as a wee 400 word comment fic for kerryblaze which turned into a killer Monty Python style plot bunny of doom. Oops. Many thanks to rotrude for a quick read through/beta job on this. I'm going to go back to working on my Big Bang, and hide from any other incoming bunnies.
Notes 2: Now with podfic! You can download it HERE. It should also be noted that iichristinll is too many kinds of awesome to count!
“Merlin, fetch that new, young stallion from the stables and bring him down to the southern paddock,” Arthur ordered without preamble, striding into the room and pouring himself a cup of water from the pitcher on the side table.
Merlin looked up from the chainmail he was diligently inspecting and gave Arthur a sceptical look. “The half wild black one? The one that’s nearly 17 hands high and tries to kill every stable boy that tries to muck out his box?”
Arthur rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. “I believe his name is Tairnich.”
“That’s not what the stable boys call him,” he sing-songed back impertinently.
“They can call him whatever they wish. You are the one who needs to fetch him.”
He let the mail drop onto the tabletop and shook his head. “The last person who tried to saddle him ended up with a broken leg!”
“Don’t be daft, Merlin. I don’t need him saddled. I need him brought to the southern paddock.”
“What for?”
“Merlin...” Arthur growled menacingly.
Merlin raised his hands in surrender and got up from the table. “Alright. Alright. I just thought you might tell why I’m to risk life and limb for you. It’s not like you don’t have an entire stable of perfectly amenable horses to use.”
“My mare is in season.”
“And?”
Arthur leaned in, placed an arm around his shoulders and spoke with exaggerated condescension, “And, Merlin, when a girl horse and a boy horse go for a special gallop together-”
“Prat.”
“Just get a halter on him and get him down there. I do have other things to accomplish today.”
“And I don’t?” Merlin said, gesturing to the various bits of armour arrayed on the table awaiting his attention. “I would have thought you’d leave this sort of thing to the Master of Horse.”
“Howel is still hobbling from his last attempt to break that horse and by all accounts you are the only one to be in the same stall as him and escape without injury.”
“I had a bruise on my arm for two weeks last time he bit me!” Merlin squawked indignantly.
“An affectionate nip. He likes you,” Arthur responded with a smug grin. The prince gave him what he probably thought was a friendly punch on the arm, which really didn’t seem all that friendly at all.
“It figures you’d favour him. The horse is just like you,” he grumbled under his breath as he made for the door.
“Actually,” Arthur said with an amused, but genuine smile, “I find Tairnich reminds me of you.”
Merlin looked back, confused. “He does?”
Arthur’s eyes changed from amused to something more... heated. “Headstrong, spirited and not quite tameable.”
Merlin blushed, turned around, tripped over his feet and made a swift exit.
***
The restless black stallion tossed his head and shifted around the box stall making his displeasure at Merlin’s presence known quite loudly. The two stable boys who were busy hauling water paused in their efforts and exchanged identical glances of dismay when they saw him fetch a halter from the wall and approach Tairnich’s stall. The boys had quickly deposited their loads into the main trough and retreated. He couldn’t remember their names offhand, but he knew both had suffered more than one injury from Arthur’s newest addition in the past few months. The stallion had been a gift from King Oswald to the royal household during the most recent trade negotiations, but Merlin didn’t think it was much of a gift. It was a fine looking animal, to be sure, but wasn’t a horse no one could handle a rather poor gift?
With all witnesses to his potential maiming and demise gone, he used his magic to send waves of calm over the animal. He tried not to do this often. It wasn’t entirely effective most of the time and being too good with temperamental animals would arouse comment. It seemed, however, that he already had a reputation, with Arthur at least, for having some measure of success with the black bastard. Tairnich calmed quickly and allowed Merlin to slip the halter over his head and adjust the buckle. He clipped a lead on, and quickly made his way out of the stable, to avoid awkward questions from the boys when they returned. Though, he doubted they would hurry back, knowing the stallion would be out of its stall with greater range to kick.
He managed to make it out the city gates and down to the southern paddock with only a handful of attempts on his arm and one dancing circle to avoid being kicked at. Arthur was already there, leaning on the rails and watching his favourite mare trot around one side of the partitioned field. When the breeze caught her scent, the stallion reared and pulled at the line, squealing loudly with excitement. It took all his strength to keep a firm hold on the beast and prevent himself from being dragged.
Arthur turned when he heard them and grinned as he watched Merlin struggling, but did nothing to help. He did, however, go to the gate and open it for Merlin and the eager horse to pass through. Barely managing to unfasten the lead, Merlin let the stallion loose and retreated to the safety of the fence. Arthur was still grinning smugly at him.
“See. He likes you.”
“You have a strange definition of like.”
“Even Howel would have had difficulty getting him down here. You seemed to manage just fine.”
“I think I preferred it when you just sent me to the stocks. Rotten turnips are less dangerous than Demonspawn there.”
“Is that what the lads in the stable call him?” Arthur asked with a grin. “That is perfect.”
“Perfect how?”
“Perfect as a horse for you. It amuses me that someone my father would consider ultimately evil would have a horse with an appropriate name.”
“Me? I want nothing to do with that beast!”
“I’ve watched Howel and the others try to work with him, Merlin. They won’t be able to break him. He needs a...” Arthur made a strange wiggling gesture with his finger, “magic touch.”
“Arthur...” he said in a low voice, “something like this gives a person a reputation. I don’t need that.”
“But you do need a horse,” Arthur stated plainly.
His brow furrowed. “What’s wrong with the gelding I normally use?”
Although there was no one even remotely close enough to overhear their conversation, Arthur leaned in and spoke in a softer voice. “It gets skittish when you start moving things around with magic. I can’t think that’s particularly helpful.”
“I think I never should have told you,” Merlin moaned in mock anguish, shaking his head at the sky theatrically. “What possessed me to tell you about my magic?”
Arthur tapped his chin in feigned consideration. “Hmmm. I believe you said it was something to do with a dragon... the one you said I had killed, but in actual fact still comes around for a chat every so often. Sound familiar?”
“I need to stop going to Kilgarrah for advice.”
“Sensible people tend to avoid dragons, particularly those locked away under guard. More proof that you are an idiot, as if I needed any more.”
“I know being a prat comes naturally to you, but I do worry you might strain something, Sire,” he said with mock concern.
Arthur bumped shoulders with him and shook his head. “You’re not changing the subject, Merlin. I want you to work with Tairnich. I think you can break him.”
“So you’ve decided to have me killed after all. I knew it was too good to be true.”
“I’m serious. I’ve watched Howel break dozens of horses that entered our stable as wild as this one, but in three months there’s been no progress. It’s not just him, either. No one who works in the stables has any rapport with him, despite each of them having a great affinity with horses in general. It happens sometimes.”
Merlin crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at Arthur. “And just how will I explain that, despite having a poor record working with horses and next to no experience, I, somehow, am best able to train your untrainable horse?”
“Like I said, it happens sometimes,” Arthur said with a shrug. “My father isn’t particularly fond of dogs, though he does use them for hunting and when I was a boy, he brought me to choose a pair to train from a litter of pups Lord Godwyn had. He acknowledged it as a useful skill, even though it isn’t something he has much patience for. We travelled to Godwyn’s estate to choose the pups ourselves and I remember really enjoying the visit. There were dogs everywhere and I was allowed to play with them as much as I wanted. It was quite a novelty. There was one dog that everyone said would growl and not let anyone near it, but it followed my father around like a lost puppy the entire time we were there.”
“And?”
“And an animal having a special affinity for a particular person, and no other, is not unheard of. I think Father will be glad to hear someone is able to make headway with Tairnich, and Howel will be relieved he doesn’t have to deal with the bastard anymore.”
“For the record, I think this is a bad idea.”
“Noted and ignored. You need this horse.”
“A horse, maybe, but why this one?” Merlin whined.
Arthur cast a careful glance back to the castle, and back to the horses pacing back and forth along the fence that divided the paddock. The stallion was growing increasingly agitated, striking at the rails with a foreleg. Arthur gave Merlin a sly smile. “Cast a spell.”
“What?” he hissed.
Arthur nodded in the direction of the stallion. “Do something magic and watch how he reacts.”
“You’re kidding me,” he stated, casting his own glance back at the castle.
“Not something obvious,” Arthur drawled with a silent ‘moron’ hanging in the air. “Just... stir up a breeze, or enchant some flies or something.”
“Every day I regret showing you this more and more,” Merlin muttered without any real conviction, but discreetly raised a hand onto the rail in a way that would allow him to cast easily.
A rush of wind ruffled the grass and made the manes and tails of the horses stir in the currents of air. The mare whickered nervously and continued her pacing, but the stallion paused and took several steps towards them before the wind died. He then flicked his ears and returned to prancing along the fence.
Arthur elbowed Merlin in the ribs. “See.”
“See what?”
“I know you aren’t an expert on horses, but there’s no way he should have shifted his attention to you. I know you use shortcuts in the stable, and it bothers most of the other horses, but this one doesn’t just tolerate it, he likes it. Don’t you realize how useful this can be for you?”
“I’ll have an easier time cleaning his stall, I suppose.”
“No, idiot, it means you’ll be the only person who can ride him and you’ll be able to work magic from horseback without worrying about being thrown.”
“I don’t exactly have much need to.”
“Maybe not now, but you were on about destinies and plans to unite Albion during your little confession a month ago. I think somewhere in that giant task you’ll find the need.”
“You may, just may have a point, but I still don’t have the first clue how to begin training a horse.”
“I’ll instruct you. We’ll begin tomorrow,” Arthur stated confidently. He brought a foot up to rest on the bottom rung of the fence and leaned forward, watching the horses more intently. “Hopefully he’ll be more compliant for having the opportunity to release his frustrations.”
“So you do actually want him to cover Llamrei?” Merlin asked in disbelief. “I would have thought one of the other horses more suitable. I don’t fancy the temperament his get will have.”
“Well, I am rather hoping for a foal with her disposition. I don’t fancy having a second impossible horse to train, but he is a magnificent animal. He may still be young, but he’s already more muscular than all but the most seasoned chargers, and tall. I’ve done well jousting with Llamrei, and there isn’t another horse in the stable I would trust to ride into battle as well as her, but she isn’t a full fourteen hands.”
“You know, size isn’t everything,” Merlin quipped.
Arthur grinned, but replied, “Maybe not, but in battle it certainly helps. Tairnich is tall, muscular and has an excellent gait. He’ll be comfortable to ride... once you manage to get on and stay seated. A foal with any of his positive attributes will be worth having.”
“So long as it can be trained.”
“You are the voice of doom, aren’t you? What happened to your usual obnoxious cheerfulness?”
“I’m pretty sure I left it back in the castle when you told me to fetch Demonspawn.”
“Just go and open the gate, Merlin.”
He hopped the fence on the mare’s side of the paddock, hoping that, since the fence swung in that way, he would be less likely to get caught between the desperate stallion and the receptive mare. Llamrei whickered and trotted away further along the fence, Tairnich following her every move. Merlin quickly unlatched the gate and swung it back all the way to the fence and tied it off before scrambling back through the rails to stand beside Arthur.
It didn’t take long for the stallion to find the opening and soon the mare was leading him on a spirited chase around the paddock. Arthur shifted beside him and leaned forward so his arms rested along the top rail, his chin on top of his hands. He had a half smile playing at the corners of his mouth, but his eyes were intently focussed on the animals in the paddock. Merlin adopted a similar stance and watched as well. Every time the stallion would get close, his mare would pause for a few moments then gallop off across the field again. Tairnich squealed and tore after her in hot pursuit. When she had done this a handful of times, Arthur murmured, “Good girl. Make him work for it.”
Merlin felt himself growing warm in the late afternoon sun and shifted uncomfortably beside Arthur on the fence. By this point, it didn’t seem like either was likely to do the other harm and he cast a quick glance back at the castle thinking of all the chores he still had waiting for him there. “I suppose I’d best be getting back to work, then.”
Arthur put a hand on his arm. “You are working. I need you here in case there is a problem.”
“I think they can figure it out on their own.”
“Don’t worry about the armour. I won’t have training until afternoon tomorrow. Besides, I know you cheat.”
“Hey! I’ve always been very careful about your armour.”
“Once you figured out what you were doing,” Arthur sniped, but his tone was light and teasing.
“Not all of us were ‘trained to kill since birth,’” Merlin tossed back at him, without the malice such a jibe might have carried even six months ago.
“No, but this task should be more in your skill set. I would have thought a farmer would grow up knowing a fair bit about horses.”
“Not many people in Ealdor had anything the size of a horse. Mostly we had geese, chickens and a few sheep,” he reminded Arthur.
“I wouldn’t think sheep would be all that different, though I suppose there’s less concern about them hurting each other.”
“So we’re just going to stay out here... watching?”
“At the very least, I need to know the deed is done. I hope that doesn’t offend your delicate sensibilities,” Arthur teased, bumping Merlin’s shoulder playfully.
“You are an ass,” he returned, but felt uncomfortable all the same.
Llamrei was no longer leading lengthy chases around the paddock and only darted away a few strides when Tairnich got close to sniff when she presented. The stallion’s cock had descended and hardened to an impressive length as he nosed around the mare’s swishing tail. In the end, it didn’t take very long. Now that the chase was over, the mare didn’t try to move away when the dark stallion reared and held her in place with his front legs. He swung around to position himself and pushed in easily, spending himself in a half dozen thrusts and drooping lazily across her back. After less than a minute, Llamrei walked out from under him and trotted over to the water trough. The stallion followed, still sniffing her hind quarters, but noticeably less agitated.
“That went well,” Arthur said, abruptly shifting away from the fence and startling Merlin out of his observation.
Merlin remained leaning on the fence, feeling flushed and decidedly uncomfortable in his trousers. Arthur leaned in behind him, pressing against his back and breathing hotly against his left ear. “Though not particularly satisfying, I’d imagine.”
“Arthur?” Merlin queried, craning his neck to glance at the man whose warm body was pressed firmly against him... quite firmly, in fact.
Arthur’s expression was heated, but cautious. “Though I may complain about it a lot, I do truly appreciate that you are able to say no. I want... well, I should think what I want is obvious, but there is no punishment for saying no.”
Merlin turned to face Arthur, his back now pressed up against the fence. He saw doubt clouding the prince’s eyes and tried to smile back with more confidence than he felt. “I’ve no problem at all telling you ‘no’ when I feel the need, but I want to be entirely certain what it is you want me to say yes to.”
“Come to my bed tonight?” Arthur asked, but didn’t allow him to reply before continuing, “I have to attend supper with my father this evening. You can have the night for yourself afterwards. If you don’t want... if your answer... if it’s no, then show up for work tomorrow morning and consider the matter forgotten.”
“Right,” he answered somewhat shakily, very aware of the blush that was colouring him from the tips of his ears to the base of his throat. He swallowed hard. “Um... What about the horses?”
“I’d like to leave them here overnight, just to be certain. I’ll send Sir Kay’s squire to keep watch, though I would pity the poor sod who tried to steal Tairnich,” Arthur said, backing away with a half chuckle despite the charged atmosphere between them.
“I’ll just stay here until he comes then.”
“And be sure they get properly fed,” Arthur said, nodding and turning to walk back to the city. “I’ll expect you to be on time to serve at supper.”
Merlin continued to lean back against the fence as he watched Arthur climb the slope up to the city gates. His legs were slightly shaky and he was still startled by the heated moment and the offer... no, he had just been propositioned. By Arthur! It wasn’t that he was opposed to the idea, not at all, but it was surprising. They had spent nearly two years in each other’s constant company and he had no idea Arthur was interested.
On a few overnight hunting trips with the other knights, he had become aware that Arthur might consider taking a male lover. Several of the knights and squires did and when camping out in the woods the mood was carefree. It was politely not mentioned at court, but evenings by the fire were full of dirty jokes, innuendo and pairs slipping off behind trees and not bothering to be very quiet about it. Arthur grinned and joked with the rest of them, receiving the odd thinly veiled invitation, but never accepting. Merlin wasn’t sure what held him back, but he had always been certain it wasn’t a lack of desire on the prince’s part. He had received his own share of propositions, but, following Arthur’s lead, turned them down politely, though with a great deal more blushing and stammering on his part.
The prince had long since disappeared through the gates of the city when Merlin finally turned his attention back to the paddock. Tairnich trotted over to him briefly, striking the fence near his feet in what he was certain Arthur would call an affectionate manner, and tossing his head with a low whinny before returning to sniff the mare again. Merlin continued to watch them until a stable hand arrived with a barrow of hay, followed by a young squire carrying a bucket of oats.
Merlin smiled his thanks, and then hurried up to the castle to make it on time to serve at the evening meal.
***
He had thought serving Arthur tonight would be awkward, but the prince ignored him for the most part and kept up a lively discussion with his father about affairs of the kingdom. Uther was still heartbroken at the loss of Morgana, and Arthur did his best to divert his father’s attention to matters of state rather than the state of personal matters. They did, however, discuss the condition of the stables, Arthur’s hopes to break the wild stallion and Merlin’s new assignment.
“It’s just like that nasty cur of Lord Godwyn’s. Do you remember how that dog followed you around when we went to visit?” Arthur asked with a grin.
Uther shook his head and gave a genuine chuckle. “He’s never let me hear the end of it. He keeps offering to give me all of his ill tempered dogs. I’m surprised you remember that. You can’t have been more than eight.”
“Six, actually. I was still riding in front of you when we went,” Arthur corrected.
“That’s right. You didn’t get your own mount until the next spring,” the king smiled widely at the memory. “I remember you being less than entirely grateful at the time.”
Arthur shrugged good-naturedly. “I had convinced myself you were giving me that fancy drestrier Lord Lucan had sent for stud. It was a considerable disappointment to get a fat, lazy gelding instead.”
“I imagine it was. He was a good choice for a beginner, though.”
“He was. I have Merlin ride him now, mostly. I haven’t had to worry about him being unseated, despite his lack of experience,” Arthur agreed.
Merlin’s eyebrows rose at this piece of information. He had thought the old gelding was just a random horse from the royal stables, not Arthur’s first horse. He felt warmth spread through his chest at the thought, but tamped any other thoughts down when the king focussed his attention on him.
“You really think he can handle the Oswald stallion?” Uther asked, gesturing at Merlin.
Arthur nodded confidently. “It may still take a while, but he was able to get a halter on and lead the beast through the city without incident, which is more than anyone in the stables has been able to manage. I’m not saying he’s biddable, exactly, but they seem to have a decent rapport. Right, Merlin?”
He froze, about to fill Arthur’s goblet, and looked to Arthur, then the king. He nodded nervously. “I suppose so, Sire.”
The king regarded him earnestly. “I expect you assisted Gaius in tending the Master of Horse when his leg was broken.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“He is fortunate to be able to walk again. This does not fall within your normal duties. If the task is too great for you, we will consider alternatives,” Uther said, giving Arthur a pointed look.
Arthur raised a hand defensively. “I’m not going to toss him a saddle and leave him to his own devices, father. It’d be a shame for him to break his neck now. He’s finally become halfway competent at his duties.”
“If you use the patience you showed with your mare, then I wish you luck. By all accounts, you’re going to need it,” the king said, nodding at them both and draining his goblet.
Arthur nodded in acknowledgement and pushed away from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some things to attend to. I wasn’t expecting to spend half the afternoon in the stables.”
“Of course.”
“Good evening, father,” Arthur gave a small dip of his head and left the room.
Merlin watched him go, and wondered if he should follow now, or tend to the plates. In answer to his internal dilemma, the King stated, “The kitchen staff will clear this away. See to your other duties.”
“Yes, Sire,” he said with an awkward bow and retreated from the room.
He was halfway to Arthur’s chambers when second thoughts overtook him. What if Arthur had changed his mind? What if this didn’t work out and ruined their friendship? What if Arthur was only teasing him for a bit of a laugh? Merlin stopped dead in the hallway, completely at a loss. If the latter was the case, he wanted some way to save face. Turning abruptly, he made a detour before continuing on to Arthur’s rooms.
***
When Arthur opened the door, he stared at Merlin in shock. “You knocked!?”
“Aren’t you always yelling at me to?” he asked, still nervous.
“I never really expected that someday you actually would. What’s this then?” Arthur asked, gesturing to the tray and flagon Merlin had precariously balanced in his arms.
“You didn’t eat much at supper and I thought you might want something for later,” he answered, more as a question than a statement and sidled past Arthur to put his awkward load on the table.
“Merlin,” Arthur said hesitantly.
He fussed with the tray on the table and replied absently, “Yes, Sire.”
“Merlin,” Arthur said again, with exasperation this time, “what are you doing?”
“I’m... I’m...” he looked up at Arthur like a small animal caught in the crosshairs. “I have no idea.”
Arthur closed the door and came around the table. He slumped down heavily on the bench in front of the fireplace and gestured to the space beside him. “Have a seat.”
“Arthur?”
“Just... sit.”
“But-”
“I gave you the night off, remember?”
“Yeah, but-”
“But nothing. Sit down, or leave.”
Merlin’s heart was racing as he tentatively sat down on the bench beside Arthur, carefully not touching him. He was tense and focussed his eyes on the low burning fire set to dispel the chill of the spring evening. For a moment he entertained the thought of getting up to put another log on, but he was pretty sure Arthur would snap at him and tell him not to, so instead he sat and stared, not saying anything.
“You may have thought I was a right ass when you met me, but I was far worse before,” Arthur said softly, his voice tinged with something that sounded like sadness or perhaps regret.
“I can’t imagine,” he replied, hoping his own voice was light and teasing.
Arthur shook his head. “I expect you can. Your imagination has never been lacking.”
“Thanks, I think.”
Arthur ignored the comment. “Even my father acknowledges that I was rather spoiled when I was young. When I started formal training with the knights it changed a bit. I’d always had instruction in swordplay, but with them I was just another hopeful. I was expected to work as hard as everyone else, harder actually. I’m the best, because I earned it.”
“I know that.”
“I used to feel I was pretty entitled to things, however, even after I started training.”
“Used to?” Merlin said cheekily.
Arthur shot him a sideways glance. “Are you going to let me tell you this or not?”
“Tell me what?” he asked with concern. “What is it?”
Arthur looked up from his hands and held Merlin’s eyes without blinking. “When I was sixteen, I tumbled one of the chambermaids.”
Merlin held the gaze, but didn’t understand why Arthur looked so guilty at the admission. This wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation. He’d have been surprised to learn differently, in fact. However, not wanting to stick his foot in it, he simply said, “Alright.”
Breaking away from Merlin’s gaze, Arthur shook his head. “No, it’s not alright. I had come into my rooms after a good spar and I was feeling pretty full of myself. She was just finishing with the sheets and was startled when I came in. I just walked over to her, and kissed her. I didn’t ask. I grabbed her and started groping her. She didn’t try to push me away or tell me to stop, and pretty soon... soon I had her spread out on the bed with her skirts around her waist and my breeches around my ankles. When I was done, I had the cheek to grin at her, say ‘that was fun,’ and dismiss her.”
Arthur hung his head and looked visibly upset. Merlin, unsure what to do or say, put a hand on his shoulder, but it was shrugged away. “Just... just let me finish. I was pretty pleased by the whole thing and spent part of the next afternoon tucked into an alcove near the laundry hoping I could find her again for a repeat performance. I didn’t see her coming or going, so I wandered the corridors trying to look for her without looking like I was looking for her. When I did find her, she was hiding in one of the unused rooms in the guest wing, sobbing and telling another maid about what had happened. Apparently, she had a suitor, and plans to get married, but now she was ashamed because I had despoiled her.
“I felt absolutely terrible, Merlin. It hadn’t even occurred to me that she might say no, or that she wouldn’t want my attentions, but be afraid to say no. I made a promise to myself, that I wouldn’t ever bed someone who might not feel they had the choice or the chance to say no, and I’ve kept that promise. I haven’t taken anyone to my bed since then,” Arthur said emphatically and looked imploringly at Merlin, as if seeking forgiveness from him.
Merlin nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging way, unsure what the correct response such a confession was. Then a thought occurred to him and he asked curiously, “Is that why you turn down the knights who offer as well?”
Arthur shook his head slightly. “Not really. I mean, I do think some of them feel obligated to offer, but mostly I don’t want to be seen as playing favourites. I’m not particularly interested in any of them, either.”
Merlin swallowed hard and summoned the courage to ask, “So, this afternoon..?”
The prince looked at him, his expression open and questioning. “What about this afternoon?”
“Did you... did you mean it? When you asked? Or was it a... spur of the moment thing?”
Arthur turned on the bench to face him completely. “The asking, yes, came out in the heat of the moment. I hadn’t planned to do it. The offer isn’t random, though. I’ve... thought about it... thought about asking, for some time now.”
He shifted a bit closer on the bench and grinned a bit self consciously as he put a hand on Arthur’s knee and said softly, “Alright.”
Arthur stared at the hand, slightly wide-eyed for a moment, then covered the hand with his own. He looked up at Merlin, his eyes still questioning. “Yes?”
Merlin bit his lower lip and nodded. “Yes.”
Arthur’s fingers curled around Merlin’s hand then slid along his arm until they rested on his shoulder. Merlin raised his other hand, bringing it just short of cupping Arthur’s cheek, and paused still not quite certain he was allowed. The fingers on his shoulder squeezed in encouragement, and Merlin brushed his fingers along Arthur’s cheek, splaying them as Arthur leaned into the touch.
They drew together slowly, hesitant to move too suddenly and shatter the moment. Merlin’s lips were parted; he was breathing unevenly when he leaned forward, closing the space between them. Arthur’s breathing was equally unsteady, and for a long moment they breathed the warm air from each other’s mouth. Unable to remain passive any longer, Arthur lifted his chin and brought his lips to Merlin’s. Just a gentle press at first, but it quickly deepened until their mouths came together urgently, each seeking to capture the other. Tentative fingers became grasping hands clutching at shoulders and twining through hair, each seeking to bring the other closer, closer still.
Without knowing how it had happened, Merlin found himself straddling Arthur’s lap and pressing him back against the edge of the table. He broke away from the prince’s lips and mouthed his way along the stubbly jaw line, then descended along the neck to nip and suck at the pulse point there. Arthur moaned in pleasure and let his head fall back, where it hit the table with a thud.
The next moan was not one of enjoyment. “Ouch.”
Merlin came away from Arthur’s neck, panting and apologetic. “Sorry.”
Arthur shook his head. “S’alright. Perhaps it’d be better if we...”
“... Bed?”
“Yeah.”
Carefully disentangling himself, Merlin stood up on shaky legs. Arthur pushed up off the bench and slid a hand up along Merlin’s back, urging him over to the bed. Merlin sat down on the edge, feeling awkward again, but Arthur simply smiled and kissed him before dropping down to his knees. His boots were quickly removed and tossed away from the bed carelessly.
Arthur rose, dragging his hands along the outsides of Merlin’s legs, leaning over and pressing him down into the downy softness of the bedspread. Merlin wrapped his arms around the back of Arthur’s neck and pulled him down into another bruising kiss. Arthur rolled them further onto the bed, toeing off his own boots in the process, and ended up on his back, with Merlin sprawled out along his body, long fingers framing his face, holding him close. A calloused sword hand snaked its way under the hem of a tunic and Merlin arched from the sensation, pressing his hips firmly against Arthur’s. Both moaned and they tore at each other’s clothing in earnest, eager for the heated slide of skin on skin.
Given that Merlin was mostly made up of gangly limbs and pointy elbows, Arthur was on the receiving end of several unintentional jabs, for which Merlin apologised profusely. Arthur grinned and laughed warmly. “If this were graceful, it wouldn’t be you.”
Merlin grinned back sheepishly. “At least you’ve trained to take a blow.”
“I can take more than just an elbow to the ribs,” Arthur returned with a wicked grin and hooked a leg around Merlin’s, pulling their naked bodies close together again.
They both groaned and began rutting against each other frantically. Arthur tried to slip a hand between them, but Merlin batted it away. He traced his fingers along Arthur’s ribs, then his eyes flashed golden, and a warm, tingling sensation crept between them. The heat and pressure of a phantom hand curled around their cocks, making them both gasp as it began stroking them in tandem.
Merlin closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Arthur’s shoulder, gripping him tightly. Arthur made a noise that from anyone else might be a whimper and dug his fingers harder into Merlin’s hips to pull them closer. It was frantic and overwhelming. Arthur came quickly, groaning and shuddering as he spurted slick ejaculate between them. It slid along Merlin’s cock as well, and, combined with the tingling play of magic stroking him, triggered his own release. As Merlin arched and came, they were both lifted several inches off the bed and the fire flared brightly. They were held suspended for a long moment, then ungracefully dropped on the bed and the fire and all the candles in the room extinguished.
Breathing hard, Merlin stared into the dark in Arthur’s direction. He was still somewhat dazed, when Arthur’s voice asked breathlessly, “Does that sort of thing normally happen?”
“I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve ever tried this before,” Merlin answered obliviously.
A feathery pillow smacked him on the side of the face. “I did mean when you’re alone, idiot.”
“Oh. Yeah, it does. Every time,” he answered slightly morosely.
“That must get annoying.”
“You have no idea.”
“So explain it to me. I still feel like I don’t really understand. You seem to both love and hate your magic.”
Merlin sighed and pulled away a little, but Arthur kept an arm around his waist and held him close. “When I use magic, it feels good, right, but it’s also confusing and unpredictable sometimes. I would try things when I was younger, and a lot of the time they wouldn’t work in the way I’d planned. I got into trouble a lot.”
The grin in Arthur’s voice was audible as he remarked, “Not much has changed there, then.”
“Prat,” Merlin tossed back affectionately. “When it gets out of hand like this, it’s right embarrassing. Ever had someone walk in on you having a private moment?”
“Having a ‘private moment,’ Merlin?” Arthur asked with a chuckle. “I think the word you’re looking for is wank. And no, I’ve had a few near misses, but I’ve never been caught with my hand in my trousers. I take it you have?”
He leaned forward and tucked his forehead against Arthur’s chest, nodding. “I was thirteen. My mum walked into the hut and everything was floating. That sort of thing was pretty common if I was ill or hurt and she had started checking me over before she noticed what I’d been doing. I was mortified.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
They fell silent once more, Merlin’s embarrassed hiding against Arthur’s chest becoming occasional soft kisses with lips slowly mapping out the contours of the lines of muscle. Arthur’s fingers played absently with the hair at Merlin’s neck and he hummed contentedly. “That’s nice.”
“Mmm... If we fall asleep like this, we’ll be stuck together in the morning,” Arthur observed, but made no move to get up.
Merlin waved a hand in the direction of the washstand and a cloth dipped itself into the basin, wrung itself out and floated over to the bed. Arthur snatched it from mid-air and gently wiped them both clean. Another flick of Merlin’s hand sent the cloth sailing back to the washstand. “Happy now?”
“Not quite.”
The night air was chilly and Arthur chivvied him under the covers, shifting and huffing until they were properly settled. A solid, muscular arm was draped across his waist and Arthur’s warm breath tickled the hairs at the nape of his neck. Merlin grinned widely into the pillow when Arthur finally stilled, humming in contentment. “Better.”
Arthur dropped off quickly, but Merlin lay awake for a long time staring at the squares of coloured light the moon cast through the window and onto the floor. Arthur held him close in sleep, and the bed was softer and warmer than any he had ever been in. His eyelids drooped, and before he drifted off to sleep, Merlin whispered softly to the room, “Not better, the best.”
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~6,500
Disclaimer: Everything is on loan from the earth (and the BBC), therefore I own nothing. I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit.
Summary: Merlin used to think protecting Arthur from bandits, evil sorcerers and wild beasts, without being caught using magic, was the most dangerous part of being Arthur's manservant. Unfortunately, Arthur has a far more hazardous new job for him.
Notes: This started out as a wee 400 word comment fic for kerryblaze which turned into a killer Monty Python style plot bunny of doom. Oops. Many thanks to rotrude for a quick read through/beta job on this. I'm going to go back to working on my Big Bang, and hide from any other incoming bunnies.
Notes 2: Now with podfic! You can download it HERE. It should also be noted that iichristinll is too many kinds of awesome to count!
“Merlin, fetch that new, young stallion from the stables and bring him down to the southern paddock,” Arthur ordered without preamble, striding into the room and pouring himself a cup of water from the pitcher on the side table.
Merlin looked up from the chainmail he was diligently inspecting and gave Arthur a sceptical look. “The half wild black one? The one that’s nearly 17 hands high and tries to kill every stable boy that tries to muck out his box?”
Arthur rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. “I believe his name is Tairnich.”
“That’s not what the stable boys call him,” he sing-songed back impertinently.
“They can call him whatever they wish. You are the one who needs to fetch him.”
He let the mail drop onto the tabletop and shook his head. “The last person who tried to saddle him ended up with a broken leg!”
“Don’t be daft, Merlin. I don’t need him saddled. I need him brought to the southern paddock.”
“What for?”
“Merlin...” Arthur growled menacingly.
Merlin raised his hands in surrender and got up from the table. “Alright. Alright. I just thought you might tell why I’m to risk life and limb for you. It’s not like you don’t have an entire stable of perfectly amenable horses to use.”
“My mare is in season.”
“And?”
Arthur leaned in, placed an arm around his shoulders and spoke with exaggerated condescension, “And, Merlin, when a girl horse and a boy horse go for a special gallop together-”
“Prat.”
“Just get a halter on him and get him down there. I do have other things to accomplish today.”
“And I don’t?” Merlin said, gesturing to the various bits of armour arrayed on the table awaiting his attention. “I would have thought you’d leave this sort of thing to the Master of Horse.”
“Howel is still hobbling from his last attempt to break that horse and by all accounts you are the only one to be in the same stall as him and escape without injury.”
“I had a bruise on my arm for two weeks last time he bit me!” Merlin squawked indignantly.
“An affectionate nip. He likes you,” Arthur responded with a smug grin. The prince gave him what he probably thought was a friendly punch on the arm, which really didn’t seem all that friendly at all.
“It figures you’d favour him. The horse is just like you,” he grumbled under his breath as he made for the door.
“Actually,” Arthur said with an amused, but genuine smile, “I find Tairnich reminds me of you.”
Merlin looked back, confused. “He does?”
Arthur’s eyes changed from amused to something more... heated. “Headstrong, spirited and not quite tameable.”
Merlin blushed, turned around, tripped over his feet and made a swift exit.
***
The restless black stallion tossed his head and shifted around the box stall making his displeasure at Merlin’s presence known quite loudly. The two stable boys who were busy hauling water paused in their efforts and exchanged identical glances of dismay when they saw him fetch a halter from the wall and approach Tairnich’s stall. The boys had quickly deposited their loads into the main trough and retreated. He couldn’t remember their names offhand, but he knew both had suffered more than one injury from Arthur’s newest addition in the past few months. The stallion had been a gift from King Oswald to the royal household during the most recent trade negotiations, but Merlin didn’t think it was much of a gift. It was a fine looking animal, to be sure, but wasn’t a horse no one could handle a rather poor gift?
With all witnesses to his potential maiming and demise gone, he used his magic to send waves of calm over the animal. He tried not to do this often. It wasn’t entirely effective most of the time and being too good with temperamental animals would arouse comment. It seemed, however, that he already had a reputation, with Arthur at least, for having some measure of success with the black bastard. Tairnich calmed quickly and allowed Merlin to slip the halter over his head and adjust the buckle. He clipped a lead on, and quickly made his way out of the stable, to avoid awkward questions from the boys when they returned. Though, he doubted they would hurry back, knowing the stallion would be out of its stall with greater range to kick.
He managed to make it out the city gates and down to the southern paddock with only a handful of attempts on his arm and one dancing circle to avoid being kicked at. Arthur was already there, leaning on the rails and watching his favourite mare trot around one side of the partitioned field. When the breeze caught her scent, the stallion reared and pulled at the line, squealing loudly with excitement. It took all his strength to keep a firm hold on the beast and prevent himself from being dragged.
Arthur turned when he heard them and grinned as he watched Merlin struggling, but did nothing to help. He did, however, go to the gate and open it for Merlin and the eager horse to pass through. Barely managing to unfasten the lead, Merlin let the stallion loose and retreated to the safety of the fence. Arthur was still grinning smugly at him.
“See. He likes you.”
“You have a strange definition of like.”
“Even Howel would have had difficulty getting him down here. You seemed to manage just fine.”
“I think I preferred it when you just sent me to the stocks. Rotten turnips are less dangerous than Demonspawn there.”
“Is that what the lads in the stable call him?” Arthur asked with a grin. “That is perfect.”
“Perfect how?”
“Perfect as a horse for you. It amuses me that someone my father would consider ultimately evil would have a horse with an appropriate name.”
“Me? I want nothing to do with that beast!”
“I’ve watched Howel and the others try to work with him, Merlin. They won’t be able to break him. He needs a...” Arthur made a strange wiggling gesture with his finger, “magic touch.”
“Arthur...” he said in a low voice, “something like this gives a person a reputation. I don’t need that.”
“But you do need a horse,” Arthur stated plainly.
His brow furrowed. “What’s wrong with the gelding I normally use?”
Although there was no one even remotely close enough to overhear their conversation, Arthur leaned in and spoke in a softer voice. “It gets skittish when you start moving things around with magic. I can’t think that’s particularly helpful.”
“I think I never should have told you,” Merlin moaned in mock anguish, shaking his head at the sky theatrically. “What possessed me to tell you about my magic?”
Arthur tapped his chin in feigned consideration. “Hmmm. I believe you said it was something to do with a dragon... the one you said I had killed, but in actual fact still comes around for a chat every so often. Sound familiar?”
“I need to stop going to Kilgarrah for advice.”
“Sensible people tend to avoid dragons, particularly those locked away under guard. More proof that you are an idiot, as if I needed any more.”
“I know being a prat comes naturally to you, but I do worry you might strain something, Sire,” he said with mock concern.
Arthur bumped shoulders with him and shook his head. “You’re not changing the subject, Merlin. I want you to work with Tairnich. I think you can break him.”
“So you’ve decided to have me killed after all. I knew it was too good to be true.”
“I’m serious. I’ve watched Howel break dozens of horses that entered our stable as wild as this one, but in three months there’s been no progress. It’s not just him, either. No one who works in the stables has any rapport with him, despite each of them having a great affinity with horses in general. It happens sometimes.”
Merlin crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at Arthur. “And just how will I explain that, despite having a poor record working with horses and next to no experience, I, somehow, am best able to train your untrainable horse?”
“Like I said, it happens sometimes,” Arthur said with a shrug. “My father isn’t particularly fond of dogs, though he does use them for hunting and when I was a boy, he brought me to choose a pair to train from a litter of pups Lord Godwyn had. He acknowledged it as a useful skill, even though it isn’t something he has much patience for. We travelled to Godwyn’s estate to choose the pups ourselves and I remember really enjoying the visit. There were dogs everywhere and I was allowed to play with them as much as I wanted. It was quite a novelty. There was one dog that everyone said would growl and not let anyone near it, but it followed my father around like a lost puppy the entire time we were there.”
“And?”
“And an animal having a special affinity for a particular person, and no other, is not unheard of. I think Father will be glad to hear someone is able to make headway with Tairnich, and Howel will be relieved he doesn’t have to deal with the bastard anymore.”
“For the record, I think this is a bad idea.”
“Noted and ignored. You need this horse.”
“A horse, maybe, but why this one?” Merlin whined.
Arthur cast a careful glance back to the castle, and back to the horses pacing back and forth along the fence that divided the paddock. The stallion was growing increasingly agitated, striking at the rails with a foreleg. Arthur gave Merlin a sly smile. “Cast a spell.”
“What?” he hissed.
Arthur nodded in the direction of the stallion. “Do something magic and watch how he reacts.”
“You’re kidding me,” he stated, casting his own glance back at the castle.
“Not something obvious,” Arthur drawled with a silent ‘moron’ hanging in the air. “Just... stir up a breeze, or enchant some flies or something.”
“Every day I regret showing you this more and more,” Merlin muttered without any real conviction, but discreetly raised a hand onto the rail in a way that would allow him to cast easily.
A rush of wind ruffled the grass and made the manes and tails of the horses stir in the currents of air. The mare whickered nervously and continued her pacing, but the stallion paused and took several steps towards them before the wind died. He then flicked his ears and returned to prancing along the fence.
Arthur elbowed Merlin in the ribs. “See.”
“See what?”
“I know you aren’t an expert on horses, but there’s no way he should have shifted his attention to you. I know you use shortcuts in the stable, and it bothers most of the other horses, but this one doesn’t just tolerate it, he likes it. Don’t you realize how useful this can be for you?”
“I’ll have an easier time cleaning his stall, I suppose.”
“No, idiot, it means you’ll be the only person who can ride him and you’ll be able to work magic from horseback without worrying about being thrown.”
“I don’t exactly have much need to.”
“Maybe not now, but you were on about destinies and plans to unite Albion during your little confession a month ago. I think somewhere in that giant task you’ll find the need.”
“You may, just may have a point, but I still don’t have the first clue how to begin training a horse.”
“I’ll instruct you. We’ll begin tomorrow,” Arthur stated confidently. He brought a foot up to rest on the bottom rung of the fence and leaned forward, watching the horses more intently. “Hopefully he’ll be more compliant for having the opportunity to release his frustrations.”
“So you do actually want him to cover Llamrei?” Merlin asked in disbelief. “I would have thought one of the other horses more suitable. I don’t fancy the temperament his get will have.”
“Well, I am rather hoping for a foal with her disposition. I don’t fancy having a second impossible horse to train, but he is a magnificent animal. He may still be young, but he’s already more muscular than all but the most seasoned chargers, and tall. I’ve done well jousting with Llamrei, and there isn’t another horse in the stable I would trust to ride into battle as well as her, but she isn’t a full fourteen hands.”
“You know, size isn’t everything,” Merlin quipped.
Arthur grinned, but replied, “Maybe not, but in battle it certainly helps. Tairnich is tall, muscular and has an excellent gait. He’ll be comfortable to ride... once you manage to get on and stay seated. A foal with any of his positive attributes will be worth having.”
“So long as it can be trained.”
“You are the voice of doom, aren’t you? What happened to your usual obnoxious cheerfulness?”
“I’m pretty sure I left it back in the castle when you told me to fetch Demonspawn.”
“Just go and open the gate, Merlin.”
He hopped the fence on the mare’s side of the paddock, hoping that, since the fence swung in that way, he would be less likely to get caught between the desperate stallion and the receptive mare. Llamrei whickered and trotted away further along the fence, Tairnich following her every move. Merlin quickly unlatched the gate and swung it back all the way to the fence and tied it off before scrambling back through the rails to stand beside Arthur.
It didn’t take long for the stallion to find the opening and soon the mare was leading him on a spirited chase around the paddock. Arthur shifted beside him and leaned forward so his arms rested along the top rail, his chin on top of his hands. He had a half smile playing at the corners of his mouth, but his eyes were intently focussed on the animals in the paddock. Merlin adopted a similar stance and watched as well. Every time the stallion would get close, his mare would pause for a few moments then gallop off across the field again. Tairnich squealed and tore after her in hot pursuit. When she had done this a handful of times, Arthur murmured, “Good girl. Make him work for it.”
Merlin felt himself growing warm in the late afternoon sun and shifted uncomfortably beside Arthur on the fence. By this point, it didn’t seem like either was likely to do the other harm and he cast a quick glance back at the castle thinking of all the chores he still had waiting for him there. “I suppose I’d best be getting back to work, then.”
Arthur put a hand on his arm. “You are working. I need you here in case there is a problem.”
“I think they can figure it out on their own.”
“Don’t worry about the armour. I won’t have training until afternoon tomorrow. Besides, I know you cheat.”
“Hey! I’ve always been very careful about your armour.”
“Once you figured out what you were doing,” Arthur sniped, but his tone was light and teasing.
“Not all of us were ‘trained to kill since birth,’” Merlin tossed back at him, without the malice such a jibe might have carried even six months ago.
“No, but this task should be more in your skill set. I would have thought a farmer would grow up knowing a fair bit about horses.”
“Not many people in Ealdor had anything the size of a horse. Mostly we had geese, chickens and a few sheep,” he reminded Arthur.
“I wouldn’t think sheep would be all that different, though I suppose there’s less concern about them hurting each other.”
“So we’re just going to stay out here... watching?”
“At the very least, I need to know the deed is done. I hope that doesn’t offend your delicate sensibilities,” Arthur teased, bumping Merlin’s shoulder playfully.
“You are an ass,” he returned, but felt uncomfortable all the same.
Llamrei was no longer leading lengthy chases around the paddock and only darted away a few strides when Tairnich got close to sniff when she presented. The stallion’s cock had descended and hardened to an impressive length as he nosed around the mare’s swishing tail. In the end, it didn’t take very long. Now that the chase was over, the mare didn’t try to move away when the dark stallion reared and held her in place with his front legs. He swung around to position himself and pushed in easily, spending himself in a half dozen thrusts and drooping lazily across her back. After less than a minute, Llamrei walked out from under him and trotted over to the water trough. The stallion followed, still sniffing her hind quarters, but noticeably less agitated.
“That went well,” Arthur said, abruptly shifting away from the fence and startling Merlin out of his observation.
Merlin remained leaning on the fence, feeling flushed and decidedly uncomfortable in his trousers. Arthur leaned in behind him, pressing against his back and breathing hotly against his left ear. “Though not particularly satisfying, I’d imagine.”
“Arthur?” Merlin queried, craning his neck to glance at the man whose warm body was pressed firmly against him... quite firmly, in fact.
Arthur’s expression was heated, but cautious. “Though I may complain about it a lot, I do truly appreciate that you are able to say no. I want... well, I should think what I want is obvious, but there is no punishment for saying no.”
Merlin turned to face Arthur, his back now pressed up against the fence. He saw doubt clouding the prince’s eyes and tried to smile back with more confidence than he felt. “I’ve no problem at all telling you ‘no’ when I feel the need, but I want to be entirely certain what it is you want me to say yes to.”
“Come to my bed tonight?” Arthur asked, but didn’t allow him to reply before continuing, “I have to attend supper with my father this evening. You can have the night for yourself afterwards. If you don’t want... if your answer... if it’s no, then show up for work tomorrow morning and consider the matter forgotten.”
“Right,” he answered somewhat shakily, very aware of the blush that was colouring him from the tips of his ears to the base of his throat. He swallowed hard. “Um... What about the horses?”
“I’d like to leave them here overnight, just to be certain. I’ll send Sir Kay’s squire to keep watch, though I would pity the poor sod who tried to steal Tairnich,” Arthur said, backing away with a half chuckle despite the charged atmosphere between them.
“I’ll just stay here until he comes then.”
“And be sure they get properly fed,” Arthur said, nodding and turning to walk back to the city. “I’ll expect you to be on time to serve at supper.”
Merlin continued to lean back against the fence as he watched Arthur climb the slope up to the city gates. His legs were slightly shaky and he was still startled by the heated moment and the offer... no, he had just been propositioned. By Arthur! It wasn’t that he was opposed to the idea, not at all, but it was surprising. They had spent nearly two years in each other’s constant company and he had no idea Arthur was interested.
On a few overnight hunting trips with the other knights, he had become aware that Arthur might consider taking a male lover. Several of the knights and squires did and when camping out in the woods the mood was carefree. It was politely not mentioned at court, but evenings by the fire were full of dirty jokes, innuendo and pairs slipping off behind trees and not bothering to be very quiet about it. Arthur grinned and joked with the rest of them, receiving the odd thinly veiled invitation, but never accepting. Merlin wasn’t sure what held him back, but he had always been certain it wasn’t a lack of desire on the prince’s part. He had received his own share of propositions, but, following Arthur’s lead, turned them down politely, though with a great deal more blushing and stammering on his part.
The prince had long since disappeared through the gates of the city when Merlin finally turned his attention back to the paddock. Tairnich trotted over to him briefly, striking the fence near his feet in what he was certain Arthur would call an affectionate manner, and tossing his head with a low whinny before returning to sniff the mare again. Merlin continued to watch them until a stable hand arrived with a barrow of hay, followed by a young squire carrying a bucket of oats.
Merlin smiled his thanks, and then hurried up to the castle to make it on time to serve at the evening meal.
***
He had thought serving Arthur tonight would be awkward, but the prince ignored him for the most part and kept up a lively discussion with his father about affairs of the kingdom. Uther was still heartbroken at the loss of Morgana, and Arthur did his best to divert his father’s attention to matters of state rather than the state of personal matters. They did, however, discuss the condition of the stables, Arthur’s hopes to break the wild stallion and Merlin’s new assignment.
“It’s just like that nasty cur of Lord Godwyn’s. Do you remember how that dog followed you around when we went to visit?” Arthur asked with a grin.
Uther shook his head and gave a genuine chuckle. “He’s never let me hear the end of it. He keeps offering to give me all of his ill tempered dogs. I’m surprised you remember that. You can’t have been more than eight.”
“Six, actually. I was still riding in front of you when we went,” Arthur corrected.
“That’s right. You didn’t get your own mount until the next spring,” the king smiled widely at the memory. “I remember you being less than entirely grateful at the time.”
Arthur shrugged good-naturedly. “I had convinced myself you were giving me that fancy drestrier Lord Lucan had sent for stud. It was a considerable disappointment to get a fat, lazy gelding instead.”
“I imagine it was. He was a good choice for a beginner, though.”
“He was. I have Merlin ride him now, mostly. I haven’t had to worry about him being unseated, despite his lack of experience,” Arthur agreed.
Merlin’s eyebrows rose at this piece of information. He had thought the old gelding was just a random horse from the royal stables, not Arthur’s first horse. He felt warmth spread through his chest at the thought, but tamped any other thoughts down when the king focussed his attention on him.
“You really think he can handle the Oswald stallion?” Uther asked, gesturing at Merlin.
Arthur nodded confidently. “It may still take a while, but he was able to get a halter on and lead the beast through the city without incident, which is more than anyone in the stables has been able to manage. I’m not saying he’s biddable, exactly, but they seem to have a decent rapport. Right, Merlin?”
He froze, about to fill Arthur’s goblet, and looked to Arthur, then the king. He nodded nervously. “I suppose so, Sire.”
The king regarded him earnestly. “I expect you assisted Gaius in tending the Master of Horse when his leg was broken.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“He is fortunate to be able to walk again. This does not fall within your normal duties. If the task is too great for you, we will consider alternatives,” Uther said, giving Arthur a pointed look.
Arthur raised a hand defensively. “I’m not going to toss him a saddle and leave him to his own devices, father. It’d be a shame for him to break his neck now. He’s finally become halfway competent at his duties.”
“If you use the patience you showed with your mare, then I wish you luck. By all accounts, you’re going to need it,” the king said, nodding at them both and draining his goblet.
Arthur nodded in acknowledgement and pushed away from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some things to attend to. I wasn’t expecting to spend half the afternoon in the stables.”
“Of course.”
“Good evening, father,” Arthur gave a small dip of his head and left the room.
Merlin watched him go, and wondered if he should follow now, or tend to the plates. In answer to his internal dilemma, the King stated, “The kitchen staff will clear this away. See to your other duties.”
“Yes, Sire,” he said with an awkward bow and retreated from the room.
He was halfway to Arthur’s chambers when second thoughts overtook him. What if Arthur had changed his mind? What if this didn’t work out and ruined their friendship? What if Arthur was only teasing him for a bit of a laugh? Merlin stopped dead in the hallway, completely at a loss. If the latter was the case, he wanted some way to save face. Turning abruptly, he made a detour before continuing on to Arthur’s rooms.
***
When Arthur opened the door, he stared at Merlin in shock. “You knocked!?”
“Aren’t you always yelling at me to?” he asked, still nervous.
“I never really expected that someday you actually would. What’s this then?” Arthur asked, gesturing to the tray and flagon Merlin had precariously balanced in his arms.
“You didn’t eat much at supper and I thought you might want something for later,” he answered, more as a question than a statement and sidled past Arthur to put his awkward load on the table.
“Merlin,” Arthur said hesitantly.
He fussed with the tray on the table and replied absently, “Yes, Sire.”
“Merlin,” Arthur said again, with exasperation this time, “what are you doing?”
“I’m... I’m...” he looked up at Arthur like a small animal caught in the crosshairs. “I have no idea.”
Arthur closed the door and came around the table. He slumped down heavily on the bench in front of the fireplace and gestured to the space beside him. “Have a seat.”
“Arthur?”
“Just... sit.”
“But-”
“I gave you the night off, remember?”
“Yeah, but-”
“But nothing. Sit down, or leave.”
Merlin’s heart was racing as he tentatively sat down on the bench beside Arthur, carefully not touching him. He was tense and focussed his eyes on the low burning fire set to dispel the chill of the spring evening. For a moment he entertained the thought of getting up to put another log on, but he was pretty sure Arthur would snap at him and tell him not to, so instead he sat and stared, not saying anything.
“You may have thought I was a right ass when you met me, but I was far worse before,” Arthur said softly, his voice tinged with something that sounded like sadness or perhaps regret.
“I can’t imagine,” he replied, hoping his own voice was light and teasing.
Arthur shook his head. “I expect you can. Your imagination has never been lacking.”
“Thanks, I think.”
Arthur ignored the comment. “Even my father acknowledges that I was rather spoiled when I was young. When I started formal training with the knights it changed a bit. I’d always had instruction in swordplay, but with them I was just another hopeful. I was expected to work as hard as everyone else, harder actually. I’m the best, because I earned it.”
“I know that.”
“I used to feel I was pretty entitled to things, however, even after I started training.”
“Used to?” Merlin said cheekily.
Arthur shot him a sideways glance. “Are you going to let me tell you this or not?”
“Tell me what?” he asked with concern. “What is it?”
Arthur looked up from his hands and held Merlin’s eyes without blinking. “When I was sixteen, I tumbled one of the chambermaids.”
Merlin held the gaze, but didn’t understand why Arthur looked so guilty at the admission. This wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation. He’d have been surprised to learn differently, in fact. However, not wanting to stick his foot in it, he simply said, “Alright.”
Breaking away from Merlin’s gaze, Arthur shook his head. “No, it’s not alright. I had come into my rooms after a good spar and I was feeling pretty full of myself. She was just finishing with the sheets and was startled when I came in. I just walked over to her, and kissed her. I didn’t ask. I grabbed her and started groping her. She didn’t try to push me away or tell me to stop, and pretty soon... soon I had her spread out on the bed with her skirts around her waist and my breeches around my ankles. When I was done, I had the cheek to grin at her, say ‘that was fun,’ and dismiss her.”
Arthur hung his head and looked visibly upset. Merlin, unsure what to do or say, put a hand on his shoulder, but it was shrugged away. “Just... just let me finish. I was pretty pleased by the whole thing and spent part of the next afternoon tucked into an alcove near the laundry hoping I could find her again for a repeat performance. I didn’t see her coming or going, so I wandered the corridors trying to look for her without looking like I was looking for her. When I did find her, she was hiding in one of the unused rooms in the guest wing, sobbing and telling another maid about what had happened. Apparently, she had a suitor, and plans to get married, but now she was ashamed because I had despoiled her.
“I felt absolutely terrible, Merlin. It hadn’t even occurred to me that she might say no, or that she wouldn’t want my attentions, but be afraid to say no. I made a promise to myself, that I wouldn’t ever bed someone who might not feel they had the choice or the chance to say no, and I’ve kept that promise. I haven’t taken anyone to my bed since then,” Arthur said emphatically and looked imploringly at Merlin, as if seeking forgiveness from him.
Merlin nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging way, unsure what the correct response such a confession was. Then a thought occurred to him and he asked curiously, “Is that why you turn down the knights who offer as well?”
Arthur shook his head slightly. “Not really. I mean, I do think some of them feel obligated to offer, but mostly I don’t want to be seen as playing favourites. I’m not particularly interested in any of them, either.”
Merlin swallowed hard and summoned the courage to ask, “So, this afternoon..?”
The prince looked at him, his expression open and questioning. “What about this afternoon?”
“Did you... did you mean it? When you asked? Or was it a... spur of the moment thing?”
Arthur turned on the bench to face him completely. “The asking, yes, came out in the heat of the moment. I hadn’t planned to do it. The offer isn’t random, though. I’ve... thought about it... thought about asking, for some time now.”
He shifted a bit closer on the bench and grinned a bit self consciously as he put a hand on Arthur’s knee and said softly, “Alright.”
Arthur stared at the hand, slightly wide-eyed for a moment, then covered the hand with his own. He looked up at Merlin, his eyes still questioning. “Yes?”
Merlin bit his lower lip and nodded. “Yes.”
Arthur’s fingers curled around Merlin’s hand then slid along his arm until they rested on his shoulder. Merlin raised his other hand, bringing it just short of cupping Arthur’s cheek, and paused still not quite certain he was allowed. The fingers on his shoulder squeezed in encouragement, and Merlin brushed his fingers along Arthur’s cheek, splaying them as Arthur leaned into the touch.
They drew together slowly, hesitant to move too suddenly and shatter the moment. Merlin’s lips were parted; he was breathing unevenly when he leaned forward, closing the space between them. Arthur’s breathing was equally unsteady, and for a long moment they breathed the warm air from each other’s mouth. Unable to remain passive any longer, Arthur lifted his chin and brought his lips to Merlin’s. Just a gentle press at first, but it quickly deepened until their mouths came together urgently, each seeking to capture the other. Tentative fingers became grasping hands clutching at shoulders and twining through hair, each seeking to bring the other closer, closer still.
Without knowing how it had happened, Merlin found himself straddling Arthur’s lap and pressing him back against the edge of the table. He broke away from the prince’s lips and mouthed his way along the stubbly jaw line, then descended along the neck to nip and suck at the pulse point there. Arthur moaned in pleasure and let his head fall back, where it hit the table with a thud.
The next moan was not one of enjoyment. “Ouch.”
Merlin came away from Arthur’s neck, panting and apologetic. “Sorry.”
Arthur shook his head. “S’alright. Perhaps it’d be better if we...”
“... Bed?”
“Yeah.”
Carefully disentangling himself, Merlin stood up on shaky legs. Arthur pushed up off the bench and slid a hand up along Merlin’s back, urging him over to the bed. Merlin sat down on the edge, feeling awkward again, but Arthur simply smiled and kissed him before dropping down to his knees. His boots were quickly removed and tossed away from the bed carelessly.
Arthur rose, dragging his hands along the outsides of Merlin’s legs, leaning over and pressing him down into the downy softness of the bedspread. Merlin wrapped his arms around the back of Arthur’s neck and pulled him down into another bruising kiss. Arthur rolled them further onto the bed, toeing off his own boots in the process, and ended up on his back, with Merlin sprawled out along his body, long fingers framing his face, holding him close. A calloused sword hand snaked its way under the hem of a tunic and Merlin arched from the sensation, pressing his hips firmly against Arthur’s. Both moaned and they tore at each other’s clothing in earnest, eager for the heated slide of skin on skin.
Given that Merlin was mostly made up of gangly limbs and pointy elbows, Arthur was on the receiving end of several unintentional jabs, for which Merlin apologised profusely. Arthur grinned and laughed warmly. “If this were graceful, it wouldn’t be you.”
Merlin grinned back sheepishly. “At least you’ve trained to take a blow.”
“I can take more than just an elbow to the ribs,” Arthur returned with a wicked grin and hooked a leg around Merlin’s, pulling their naked bodies close together again.
They both groaned and began rutting against each other frantically. Arthur tried to slip a hand between them, but Merlin batted it away. He traced his fingers along Arthur’s ribs, then his eyes flashed golden, and a warm, tingling sensation crept between them. The heat and pressure of a phantom hand curled around their cocks, making them both gasp as it began stroking them in tandem.
Merlin closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Arthur’s shoulder, gripping him tightly. Arthur made a noise that from anyone else might be a whimper and dug his fingers harder into Merlin’s hips to pull them closer. It was frantic and overwhelming. Arthur came quickly, groaning and shuddering as he spurted slick ejaculate between them. It slid along Merlin’s cock as well, and, combined with the tingling play of magic stroking him, triggered his own release. As Merlin arched and came, they were both lifted several inches off the bed and the fire flared brightly. They were held suspended for a long moment, then ungracefully dropped on the bed and the fire and all the candles in the room extinguished.
Breathing hard, Merlin stared into the dark in Arthur’s direction. He was still somewhat dazed, when Arthur’s voice asked breathlessly, “Does that sort of thing normally happen?”
“I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve ever tried this before,” Merlin answered obliviously.
A feathery pillow smacked him on the side of the face. “I did mean when you’re alone, idiot.”
“Oh. Yeah, it does. Every time,” he answered slightly morosely.
“That must get annoying.”
“You have no idea.”
“So explain it to me. I still feel like I don’t really understand. You seem to both love and hate your magic.”
Merlin sighed and pulled away a little, but Arthur kept an arm around his waist and held him close. “When I use magic, it feels good, right, but it’s also confusing and unpredictable sometimes. I would try things when I was younger, and a lot of the time they wouldn’t work in the way I’d planned. I got into trouble a lot.”
The grin in Arthur’s voice was audible as he remarked, “Not much has changed there, then.”
“Prat,” Merlin tossed back affectionately. “When it gets out of hand like this, it’s right embarrassing. Ever had someone walk in on you having a private moment?”
“Having a ‘private moment,’ Merlin?” Arthur asked with a chuckle. “I think the word you’re looking for is wank. And no, I’ve had a few near misses, but I’ve never been caught with my hand in my trousers. I take it you have?”
He leaned forward and tucked his forehead against Arthur’s chest, nodding. “I was thirteen. My mum walked into the hut and everything was floating. That sort of thing was pretty common if I was ill or hurt and she had started checking me over before she noticed what I’d been doing. I was mortified.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
They fell silent once more, Merlin’s embarrassed hiding against Arthur’s chest becoming occasional soft kisses with lips slowly mapping out the contours of the lines of muscle. Arthur’s fingers played absently with the hair at Merlin’s neck and he hummed contentedly. “That’s nice.”
“Mmm... If we fall asleep like this, we’ll be stuck together in the morning,” Arthur observed, but made no move to get up.
Merlin waved a hand in the direction of the washstand and a cloth dipped itself into the basin, wrung itself out and floated over to the bed. Arthur snatched it from mid-air and gently wiped them both clean. Another flick of Merlin’s hand sent the cloth sailing back to the washstand. “Happy now?”
“Not quite.”
The night air was chilly and Arthur chivvied him under the covers, shifting and huffing until they were properly settled. A solid, muscular arm was draped across his waist and Arthur’s warm breath tickled the hairs at the nape of his neck. Merlin grinned widely into the pillow when Arthur finally stilled, humming in contentment. “Better.”
Arthur dropped off quickly, but Merlin lay awake for a long time staring at the squares of coloured light the moon cast through the window and onto the floor. Arthur held him close in sleep, and the bed was softer and warmer than any he had ever been in. His eyelids drooped, and before he drifted off to sleep, Merlin whispered softly to the room, “Not better, the best.”