Uh... okay, so I initially found this a little hard to get into; I think because you've written this in a very stylistic fashion which the reader actually has to pay attention to, rather than just skimming (which is what I initially tried to do in my lunch break earlier). Having said that, I've just come back and read this properly and I have to say that I really liked the style of storytelling. You've used very... spare, I guess... language, but have managed to convey a whole bunch of stuff (uh, yeah... me speak good English, honest. I think work has fried my brain) really effectively.
I also really liked the use of the parenthetical words. For me, that was part of what pinned down the character voices so efffectively for me.
Thanks for responding! Glad you gave it another try. It's a bit hard to follow, I know, but I wanted to get at how hard their story is to figure out, and try to get at the way in the canon, everything around this relationship has multiple meanings.
In defense of the style, it may not be organized, but at least it's short. Or that's what I tell myself.
Thanks very much--I was hoping the end would read as the possibility that things aren't always as good as they seem, even if you really want them to be perfect.
I really enjoyed this. It has a mythopoetic quality because of the layering and that just makes it fun AND lovely to read. I like to think of these guys as more than just "hot sex on a bun" - well at least SOMETIMES, I like to think of them as more than that. This story fits right into that larger heroic journey cateogry. Good job-it even gave me little shivers. *looks down at goosebumps in wonder*
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. (Goosebumps? That may be a first for one of my fics. Cool.)
And I agree that the sexiness isn't always enough. It isn't that I don't *enjoy* thinking about the hot sex--because I really, really do--but my brain seems to be set on "what else do they have going on?" Luckily other people are really good at writing the sex, so I don't feel bad poking at other parts of the story.
Because it really is a mythic sort of tale--hero's father dies, and he's cast out of his home, slays monsters, finds true love, redeems himself and gets to return--there are lots of places to poke. Or, conversely, hero is heartbroken, leaves home disguised as someone else, slays monsters, finds true love, makes a leap of faith, and finds a new home. Either way, there's some room to play around with it.
What we really need in this fandom is a Beowulf AU.
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I also really liked the use of the parenthetical words. For me, that was part of what pinned down the character voices so efffectively for me.
Thank you for writing!
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In defense of the style, it may not be organized, but at least it's short. Or that's what I tell myself.
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*looks down at goosebumps in wonder*
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And I agree that the sexiness isn't always enough. It isn't that I don't *enjoy* thinking about the hot sex--because I really, really do--but my brain seems to be set on "what else do they have going on?" Luckily other people are really good at writing the sex, so I don't feel bad poking at other parts of the story.
Because it really is a mythic sort of tale--hero's father dies, and he's cast out of his home, slays monsters, finds true love, redeems himself and gets to return--there are lots of places to poke. Or, conversely, hero is heartbroken, leaves home disguised as someone else, slays monsters, finds true love, makes a leap of faith, and finds a new home. Either way, there's some room to play around with it.
What we really need in this fandom is a Beowulf AU.
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