Some Days are Stranger Than Others.....
Between today and yesterday,
I think I sent 100 emails
just... doing my job from home.
Today my friend texted me a local ad on Craigslist...
someone was selling a Hobbit House.
I sent it to my mom.
She scream-texted me that she NEEDED to buy it.
I tried to see if she was being serious,
or just having a laugh.
Skylarking, you know.
We've been looking for a little Tiny House for her,
to put in the backyard,
someplace for her to land comfortably
whenever she needs to.
As you may remember,
my mother is a back-country mountain-woman right now.
She's in her mid-70s,
and lives alone
on a mountain top
on 10 acres off a mile-long dirt road.
No electricity, (except some basic solar)
no running water,
and neo-nazis...
IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Oddly enough,
I worry.
Well,
guess we gotta make way for a Hobbit House!
She fought off other scrappy creatives,
outbid them
and said in no uncertain terms:
DEAR SIR AND/OR MADAM,
YOU HAVE MY HOBBIT HOUSE. STOP.
THAT WAS ALWAYS MY HOBBIT HOUSE. STOP.
EVEN WHEN IT WAS YOUR HOBBIT HOUSE. STOP.
PLEASE RELEASE MY HOBBIT HOUSE TO ME.
THANK YOU.
FULL STOP.
So, I went to check it out and helped her talk to the guy
and she is probably gonna have a hobbit house now.
Nice!
It will live in our backyard,
and make all the neighborhood kids envious.
Sounds about right.
On my way to Radio,
I was stopped by some dude with a GoPro.
"WANNA BE ON MY YOUTUBE VIDEO!?!?"
The problem with me?
I'M GAME!
He probably only had 20 followers,
and has a deeply held belief
that as a light-skinned male,
youth, looks, and a go-pro
make him UNSTOPPABLE.
He held up a box of condoms.
"WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU USED CONDOMS?!"
"Um, we don't need them anymore...
however... safe sex is IMPORTANT
and I hope everyone KNOWS IT!"
I give a sign of the devil,
because safe sex ruuuuuules!
"YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY?!"
"Yes!"
I shout.
"ONE IN THREE SEXUALLY ACTIVE PEOPLE HAVE HPV!
WRAP IT UP!!!"
He goes, "REALLY? WOW! GROSS!
YEAH! SAFE SEX!!"
We fist bump on it.
I leave.
I look him up later.
200 subscribers.. give or take.
Good luck dudebro.
Good luck.
/End Scene
Today was a strange day,
and yet, I feel me at 14 years old
would have TOTALLY predicted it.
Evidence A:
I was into hobbit houses, before hobbitses were cool yo.
And - I learned it from my creative and highly-literate mom.
Evidence B:
I got in trouble in high school for handing out condoms,
lube, and STD pamphlets to EVERYONE
because schools like to pretend if you don't TEACH teens about sex
they won't have it,
and that is just a BAD POLICY, yo.
Safe sex is VERY important.
Anyways....
That is just a quick update from me....
I think I sent 100 emails
just... doing my job from home.
Today my friend texted me a local ad on Craigslist...
someone was selling a Hobbit House.
I sent it to my mom.
She scream-texted me that she NEEDED to buy it.
I tried to see if she was being serious,
or just having a laugh.
Skylarking, you know.
We've been looking for a little Tiny House for her,
to put in the backyard,
someplace for her to land comfortably
whenever she needs to.
As you may remember,
my mother is a back-country mountain-woman right now.
She's in her mid-70s,
and lives alone
on a mountain top
on 10 acres off a mile-long dirt road.
No electricity, (except some basic solar)
no running water,
and neo-nazis...
IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Oddly enough,
I worry.
Well,
guess we gotta make way for a Hobbit House!
She fought off other scrappy creatives,
outbid them
and said in no uncertain terms:
DEAR SIR AND/OR MADAM,
YOU HAVE MY HOBBIT HOUSE. STOP.
THAT WAS ALWAYS MY HOBBIT HOUSE. STOP.
EVEN WHEN IT WAS YOUR HOBBIT HOUSE. STOP.
PLEASE RELEASE MY HOBBIT HOUSE TO ME.
THANK YOU.
FULL STOP.
So, I went to check it out and helped her talk to the guy
and she is probably gonna have a hobbit house now.
Nice!
It will live in our backyard,
and make all the neighborhood kids envious.
Sounds about right.
On my way to Radio,
I was stopped by some dude with a GoPro.
"WANNA BE ON MY YOUTUBE VIDEO!?!?"
The problem with me?
I'M GAME!
He probably only had 20 followers,
and has a deeply held belief
that as a light-skinned male,
youth, looks, and a go-pro
make him UNSTOPPABLE.
He held up a box of condoms.
"WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU USED CONDOMS?!"
"Um, we don't need them anymore...
however... safe sex is IMPORTANT
and I hope everyone KNOWS IT!"
I give a sign of the devil,
because safe sex ruuuuuules!
"YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY?!"
"Yes!"
I shout.
"ONE IN THREE SEXUALLY ACTIVE PEOPLE HAVE HPV!
WRAP IT UP!!!"
He goes, "REALLY? WOW! GROSS!
YEAH! SAFE SEX!!"
We fist bump on it.
I leave.
I look him up later.
200 subscribers.. give or take.
Good luck dudebro.
Good luck.
/End Scene
Today was a strange day,
and yet, I feel me at 14 years old
would have TOTALLY predicted it.
Evidence A:
I was into hobbit houses, before hobbitses were cool yo.
And - I learned it from my creative and highly-literate mom.
Evidence B:
I got in trouble in high school for handing out condoms,
lube, and STD pamphlets to EVERYONE
because schools like to pretend if you don't TEACH teens about sex
they won't have it,
and that is just a BAD POLICY, yo.
Safe sex is VERY important.
Anyways....
That is just a quick update from me....