Is there a single event, series of events, or pattern of behavior that one can do that would cause an irreversible and permanent removal of a person from one's life
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Honestly, the question is too broad. Are there things that are unforgivable? Sure. Are there circumstances that would lead to me cutting a person out of my life for good? Maybe, but they'd have to be drastic. I've been the one cut, and from my perspective there was NO reason, it just happened. It really does depend on the people and the circumstances.
Yes, there are things that will cause me to cut a person from my life, I have had to do so only a few times and hope never to again. My big thing is trust, it is different for everyone. Break my trust, betray me or intentionally harming me (not a simple I thought it was the best option) can cause this in my world. But, *shrugs* that's just me. I'm Scorpio if you want to justify it that way, however I don't feel I need justifications if it gets to that point.
Patterns of behavior I happen to be less forgiving towards, especially if they happened over a long period of time. For me, it is not so much the actions but rather any personality dissonance or character flaws they might reveal to me. I would reiterate it must be over a lengthy period.
I am open to reconsidering the opinion if new evidence/perspective is achieved or over time. But the individual will be at most an acquaintance to me thereafter, not a friend and certainly not more.
You've just stated it perfectly. It's about trust and betrayal.
I have done this. The reasons are very specific to the individual and circumstances. The person in question has shown no sign of any desire to continue contact or reconcile differences, and has, in fact continued down a path that leads me to find less and less to respect - thus making contact even more undesirable on my part.
ditto this. The times I've cut people out of my life (which thankfully have been few) have been due to betrayal of trust beyond what I would have expected of a person, in a way that broke my heart and/or held dire consequences for me personally, but also where the person showed little/no remorse or understanding of how deeply their actions affected the trust I had in them, and I realize I can have a probable expectation of being hurt the same way in the future. In other words: If they have the face of a friend but have proven themselves likely to do things that are ill for my survival, and I can foresee this being a continuing/worsening problem, then, I have to put them out.
I'm'a second (or fourth by now) the Lynx. (appropriately)
There are people I've distanced myself from and then come back to, completely. Usually, it's because we were both in places that caused us to not get along, and now we're not there anymore.
Almost never was it a single act. And the time it was, the act was an attempt to kill me, and I think I'd be rather a fool if I stuck around after that.
Have done. 2 people conspired to lie to me and completely eff me over, both were given a chance to explain and to prove they were capable of learning something from their fuckup. One did, and is still in my life; one did not, and can go to hell without a single tear from me.
Honestly, there was nothing to salvage in the case of the person I cut because they were not moving forward in their life as it was, so I imagine the break would have come sooner or later.
I suppose Scorpios must stick together. I actually just cut someone out of my life for a pattern of destructive, selfish and remorseless behaviour. Honestly, it came down to breaking my trust repeatedly and telling me that I had no right to be hurt or angered. I did not talk to the person, but we had enough mutual friends and I was clear enough in my wishes not to have contact with her that I do not regret it. Unfortunately, we happen upon each more often than I would like and for this I allowed her to vent her feelings about my decision, but did not change my mind in any way. It was more that she talked to me rather than having a conversation and I in no way felt that I owed this to her. I just couldn't get away from the situation and was having a good enough day not to let her ruin it.
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Yes, there are things that will cause me to cut a person from my life, I have had to do so only a few times and hope never to again. My big thing is trust, it is different for everyone. Break my trust, betray me or intentionally harming me (not a simple I thought it was the best option) can cause this in my world. But, *shrugs* that's just me. I'm Scorpio if you want to justify it that way, however I don't feel I need justifications if it gets to that point.
Patterns of behavior I happen to be less forgiving towards, especially if they happened over a long period of time. For me, it is not so much the actions but rather any personality dissonance or character flaws they might reveal to me. I would reiterate it must be over a lengthy period.
I am open to reconsidering the opinion if new evidence/perspective is achieved or over time. But the individual will be at most an acquaintance to me thereafter, not a friend and certainly not more.
Reply
I have done this. The reasons are very specific to the individual and circumstances. The person in question has shown no sign of any desire to continue contact or reconcile differences, and has, in fact continued down a path that leads me to find less and less to respect - thus making contact even more undesirable on my part.
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In other words: If they have the face of a friend but have proven themselves likely to do things that are ill for my survival, and I can foresee this being a continuing/worsening problem, then, I have to put them out.
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There are people I've distanced myself from and then come back to, completely. Usually, it's because we were both in places that caused us to not get along, and now we're not there anymore.
Almost never was it a single act. And the time it was, the act was an attempt to kill me, and I think I'd be rather a fool if I stuck around after that.
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Honestly, there was nothing to salvage in the case of the person I cut because they were not moving forward in their life as it was, so I imagine the break would have come sooner or later.
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Honestly, it came down to breaking my trust repeatedly and telling me that I had no right to be hurt or angered. I did not talk to the person, but we had enough mutual friends and I was clear enough in my wishes not to have contact with her that I do not regret it. Unfortunately, we happen upon each more often than I would like and for this I allowed her to vent her feelings about my decision, but did not change my mind in any way. It was more that she talked to me rather than having a conversation and I in no way felt that I owed this to her. I just couldn't get away from the situation and was having a good enough day not to let her ruin it.
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