Fic: Five Times Christmas Eve Wasn’t Business as Usual
Title: Five Times Christmas Eve Wasn’t Business as Usual
Fandom: Stargate
Rating: T (language warning, guys. No, seriously.)
Genres: gen, het
Recipient: mackenziesmomma
Prompt: Stargate, PAS/MC cast, a time that Christmas wasn't quite what they imagined
Summary: Five couples, five Christmas Eves, from 2002 to 2010.
A/N: Holiday Fic Request Meme. So. This year's Christmas fic! \o/ It's a monster, and it was a monster to write and thank God I'm done with it. Also, pretty much spoilery, mostly for stuff that's far into the future in the LJ version of Protect and Survive/Minor Characters (it'll take me a while to get to that part here...). Also, thanks to sgteam14283 for the wonderful petname Charlie has for Anna. Anyway. On to editting the monster. Did I mention that I hate the LJ editor right now? I hate the LJ editor right now.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!
Five Times Christmas Eve Wasn’t Business as Usual
“Everybody around the world
Wherever you may be
Don't
Forget
The love
Under the Christmas tree.”
Albert Hammond, “Under the Christmas Tree”
I
It’s Christmas Eve 2002 and she thinks she’s going to explode, both literally and figuratively. She’s eight months pregnant with her second child, the first one is refusing to be anywhere other than her arms but keeps constantly squirming around, her mother in law just called to get on her nerves, the local Key Spouses asked her to bake cookies for tomorrow’s big Christmas Day get together, she’s got about a thousand student papers to grade… and the goddamn telephone just rang again.
Oh good God and now Felix started to cry again. She’s just… she… she’s this close to picking up and putting the receiver back on the phone so it’ll stop its infernal ringing but she’s been a military wife for over seven years now and Charlie’s away on deployment in Afghanistan. Answering the phone at all times is deeply ingrained in her. She picks it up. “Williamson, what is it?”
“Gee, Anna, I was hoping you’d be glad to hear from me.” Oh God, Charlie. It’s Charlie. He said he wouldn’t be able to call over Christmas because basically everyone wanted to and communication home was rickety at best and… it’s Charlie calling her on Christmas Eve.
She knows she should be poised and positive because that’s what all those other military wives say they are when they’re on the phone with their husbands. Not to worry your airman is every Air Force wife’s first duty. But as Lena Krystowsky would say, to hell with an Air Force wife’s duty. “I am. Oh God, Charlie, I’m so glad to hear your voice. Felix is so fussy lately and the other little one just won’t let me sleep at night and oh God, I’m so sorry but your mother is a stupid old dragon who only exists to make my life miserable, I swear she is and…”
“I miss you too, Sweet Tea.” Right. And is that an amused undertone? There’s nothing funny about this. Nothing at all. There’s… there’s her husband sitting thousands of miles away from her in a country that’s very much at war, having to deal with problems that are actually problems and for the first time ever she understands why some Air Force wives never tell their husbands how they feel or what they have to deal with.
She takes a deep breath and sits Felix down on the counter, taking care never to leave him untouched so he won’t start wailing again. Miraculously, it works. “Hey, I’m… I’m sorry, Red Tape. Sorry for the ranting. I know you have much heavier stuff to deal with and…”
“I’m neither pregnant, nor do I have to take care of a toddler and a household all on my own. And most of all I don’t have to deal with my mother. If it makes you happy, rant your heart out. As long as I can hear your voice, I’m happy.” She’s not sure if she heard him right because there’s a lot of static interrupting him every few moments and Felix started babbling away, quite happily and she could just suppress a little groan because the other little one just woke up.
A little exhausted, she sits down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter and rubs her lower back… and then it just slips out, “I love you, Charlie.”
There’s silence from the other end and she’s afraid that the connection just got severed or, worse yet, that this was somehow against some secret OPSEC code or something but then she realizes she didn’t hear him say anything because he was trying not to let her hear that he’s quietly laughing. After another minute in which she can hear him faintly snorting and chuckling, getting ready to give him a good wigging for laughing about something serious as this, she hears him say, “I love you too, Anna.”
“Yeah, you better. It’s a great achievement to be loved by me,” she huffs but it just serves to make him laugh harder.
Then she can hear that he tries to sound chiding, “You've been talking to Lena Krystowsky again, haven’t you? And Laura Greenspan.”
Of course she has. What did he think she’d do, being pregnant and alone on Christmas? Pffft. “You say that like it's a bad thing.”
He just laughs again and she has to admit that it’s probably the most wonderful thing she ever heard, so she decides to stop being a brat and uses the time she has with him to talk and laugh and have him talk to Felix and tell him about the strange relocation orders Evan received instead of deployment orders and generally make the best of having Charlie on the phone on Christmas Eve instead of having him at home. Such is the life of an Air Force wife.
II
He’s not quite sure how Maureen Reece ended up in his quarters on his first Christmas Eve in Atlantis - it might have something to do with Reece trying to find refuge from the all-encompassing Christmas cheer that has the city in its death grip, Reece’s words, not his - but it’s not like he’s complaining. He’s not even complaining about the whole power outage thing that McKay just informed them about because of the raging thunderstorm outside. And he sure as hell won’t complain about Maureen Reece sitting on his couch.
The only thing he is complaining about is that he can’t find the damn flashlight or even just candles. He knows he had both in his bedroom… no, wait, they’re in his kitchen. But he’s got something else in his bedroom… gotcha. “Uh, sir, not to bother you or anything… holy crap!”
What? Oh, right. “Never seen a guy with night-vision goggles on, Kid?”
They’re not the best quality but it would have been too conspicuous if he’d ordered the high end ones before being transferred to Atlantis. He didn’t want to be on any online shop’s list of buyers for NVGs only a handful of people own on the planet. And those he owns are good enough to see that she’s leaning against the door frame of his bedroom door with her arms crossed. He’s pretty sure he can even detect her trademark “the Major’s being an idiot again” look.
“No, sir. Just never seen anyone with privately owned ones.” What’s so weird about that, he thinks but chooses not to answer her. Sometimes it’s the best thing he can do in a conversation with her. So he just brushes past her and tries not to think about Maureen Reece in his bedroom door and sure as hell not about Maureen Reece in his bedroom - not again, anyway - as he makes his way to his kitchen to rummage around to find the damn candles. And some matchsticks. Because he just decided that it’s still Christmas Eve after all and that warrants candles, not a flashlight. Besides, Reece’s hair and eyes and basically everything about her looks gorgeous in candlelight.
So he returns to his couch to light the candles on the coffee table and then their soft flickering light fills the room. Reece returned to his couch as well and looks… uncomfortable? Aw, come on, he thinks, it’s not like I’m… but when another roll of thunder shakes the city and lightening paints the room in an unnatural white light she winces visibly and seems to huddle on the couch. Is she shaking?
He frowns. "Reece?"
"I'm... good, sir. Just a little... cold?" Was that a question? He just raises his eyebrows and she glares back, telling him not to probe any further. Oh well. With an obedient sigh, he pads back to the bedroom to dig up a blanket. And okay, yes, it's a little chilly so he sits down and drapes the blanket around him while another crack of thunder echoes in the room and Reece winces again.
Okay, this is weird. As far as he can remember, Reece was never afraid of thunderstorms when they were still at the SGC. Something must have happened in the time the Expedition was cut off from Earth. Actually, he can't even remember her being afraid of them here. There were one or two off-world missions that ended up with them being thoroughly soaked and she never even batted an eyelash at the thunder and lightning there. This is probably one of those situations were Laura used to say "if you don't ask, you're never gonna learn what's going on". He sighs. "Kid, what's going on? And don't say "nothing" because the way you nearly jump out of your skin every time there's thunder? That's not "nothing"."
"I do not..." A stern glare. "Alright. Maybe I wince a little." Okay, that's half an admission. He can work with that.
He sighs and digs himself out of the swaths of blanket again. “What happened, Kid?”
She looks at him, with that deer in headlights look she gave him so often back at the SGC but never since he came to Atlantis, to see her again after over a year. “I… there was… last year we had…” Another bolt of lightning and she winces enough to momentarily curl up.
Okay. It seems to be something deeper this time. Deep enough that he feels the deep seated urge to protect Reece stir. He could keep it under wraps for most of the year that he spent in Atlantis with her as his 2IC but he’d also tried to avoid seeing her emotionally vulnerable. Now… now he can’t get away. And it’s back full force. It’s out before he can do anything against it, and it
surprises him how rough his voice sounds, “Come here.”
She blinks and then shakes her head. “Oh no, sir, I…” Not that again.
“Come here, Kid.” Mh. Maybe he should make that sound less… intimate. “I’m starting to get jumpy myself seeing you over there. Just do us a both a favor and get your ass over here.” Also, she’s still shivering. “Sides… blanket’s not big enough to cover us both if you keep sitting over there.”
There’s another moment of silence, then she rolls her eyes in a “yeah, yeah, fine” gesture and scoots over, close enough that her knees are lying on his thighs. When he lifts his arm to put it on the sofa’s backrest, he tells himself it’s just to make sitting more comfortable for himself and not to accommodate her and have it in a strategically advantageous position to maybe put it around her shoulders later. He puts the blanket back in place to cover both of them this time and once they’re both settled in, he has a bit of trouble not to whisper when he says, “Now tell me?”
To his surprise… she does. Obviously, there’d been trouble with those Genii guys in the year they’d been cut off from Earth. Some big thunderstorm that led to the city being evacuated but not before some big hassle. She doesn’t elaborate much but from the way she tenses ever so often, even he can see that it’s not his presence that has her tight up in knots.
Actually, it seems as if the longer she’s sitting so close to him, the more she relaxes. Enough that after a while, her head is lying on his arm and her soft regular breathing on the skin of his arm is giving him chills of a whole different kind. Obviously, Maureen Reece fell asleep in his arms. He grins and takes the liberty of smiling and breathing, “Merry Christmas, Kid. And thank you,” in her hair. Because this? Best Christmas present ever.
III
So it’s Christmas Eve and the annual Atlantis Christmas party is in full swing. Has been for two hours now. A little more subdued than usual because everyone who knew Carson Beckett still remembers how much he loved the Atlantis Christmas party but still a very pleasant and fun affair. Which is why it seems a little odd that Lieutenant Cadman still hasn’t made her way to the mess hall.
Okay, yes, she’d been Carson’s girlfriend for a while but the way he understood it, it had been over even before Carson died. On the other hand… he still remembers the way she looked when he told her that Carson was killed. He remembers the way she was laughing and talking to a friend one moment and looking confused and shocked the next. He remembers how sorry he’d been for spoiling her carefree mood like that but the moment the news had reached him, he’d known that someone should tell her. He’d known he’d probably be the only one thinking of it so he’d been the one bringing her the bad news. The guilt over that made him start looking out for her after it had happened.
It’s one of the reasons why he noticed her absence right from the beginning. That and the fact that he was hoping he might get to… well… say goodbye to her in a proper manner. Her request for transfer went across his desk two weeks ago and it only took another week to have it approved. He never tried to talk her out of it but somehow, the thought of Laura Cadman not being in the city anymore… it’s not a nice one. And where the hell is she?
Mh. Something tells him he might know where she is… and that she might not want company. But hell, it’s Christmas and like hell he’ll let one of his soldiers be unhappy over Christmas. He ignores that he actually just doesn’t want Laura Cadman to be unhappy. And anyway, that’s not the point here. The point is that he just decided to slip out of the mess hall and go looking for Cadman. Just for a few minutes, just to make sure that she’s okay.
He takes great care for no one to see that he leaves the mess hall and then discreetly asks the city to locate Lieutenant Cadman for him. The city tells him what he already assumed. She’s on a balcony in the West quarter, a couple of levels up.
When he finds her balcony after a spontaneous detour to his quarters to get the package of home baked cookies his mother sent, he sees her sitting in a deck chair, swathed in a blanket, looking out into the Lantea night. There’s something that looks like like a thermos flask on the floor next to her and it gives his heart a curious little stab to see sociable Laura Cadman of all people alone on Christmas Eve. Well. No guts, no glory, as Cadman would say.
He steps out on the balcony and… clears his throat, not quite sure what to say. Which is why he’s almost grateful that the task is taken from his hands when Cadman half turns around and squints at him. “Evening, sir.” Okay, that’s a good start, isn’t it? She could have told him to beat it, couldn’t she?
“Evening, Lieutenant.” Mh. So far, so good. And now? Oh, okay, maybe just the truth. With Cadman jumping right to the issue was never a problem. “So I noticed… you weren’t at the Christmas party.”
She looks very much like she’d like to raise her eyebrows and give him some smartass answer in the line of “You noticed. Uh-huh. Way to go, Major Eagle-eye.” but in the end she just shrugs and says, “Just wasn’t in the mood for it,” and turns back to the city panorama. He starts feeling a little ridiculous standing here with his cookies. But he was never one for giving up easily.
“I… understand.” That gets her to turn around again and frown. “I really do. I… Laura, I miss him, too.” Calling her by her first name hadn’t really been planned but this didn’t feel like something you use rank or last name for.
“I… thank you, sir. But it’s not… it’s not just missing Carson.” That… surprises him. What else is this about?
Oh. Well. How about he just asks her. “This has something to do with your transfer request, doesn’t it?” He never planned on talking about it with her because he figured she had her reasons. Private reasons. But if those reasons drive her to something as out of character as missing out on the Christmas party…
She doesn’t answer right away and he doesn’t blame her. If he’s honest, he never actually expected her to answer so he’s a bit surprised when she does. “Kinda. You know, since Carson died… I just… I just don’t feel at home here anymore. Something doesn’t fit anymore.” She didn’t look at him when she said that and he feels another wave of guilt crashing down on him. If she’s feeling like that… doesn’t it mean he screwed up looking after her? “Hey, don’t worry. It’s not your fault, sir.” What?
Oh. She must have seen something in his face telling her of his private guilt trip. Is he really that easy to read? “No, that’s… I didn’t think…” Time to change the topic. Or at least change it away from the uncomfortable feeling of Laura Cadman being able to read his mind. “Hey, uh… do you know where you’ll be staying yet, Lieutenant?”
If she’s put off by his sudden attempt at distracting her, she doesn’t show it. Instead she shrugs. “Not really, sir. I have a couple of things in storage in Springs but… no house or anything. Guess I’ll stay at the SGC for a couple of weeks first and then try to find a place.”
Somehow the thought of Cadman staying at the SGC, in one of the drab and windowless personnel quarters makes him a little… sad. Or maybe it’s the thought of Cadman not living in her airy and bright quarters in Atlantis anymore. It’s a thought he banished from his mind as soon as it appeared. The downside of that is that it distracts him enough from himself that something he hadn’t wanted to say out loud makes it out in the open, “Let me know when you find something?”
That was just stupid. Why not ask her outright if she wants to be your pen pal and thoroughly make a fool out of yourself, you idiot, an ugly little voice whispers in his mind and he’s ready to turn tail and never talk to her again when she says, “Sure, sir,” and gives him a little smile that makes his heart beat a little faster.
It’s that sudden increase in heart rate that makes him clear his throat and utter, “Great. Uh… merry Christmas, Lieutenant?” Why did that just come out as a question?
And why can’t she stop smiling that amused little smile? “Yeah, merry Christmas, sir.” Ah, she stopped smiling. Unfortunately, it’s replaced by a look that’s probably supposed to be all business and she adds, “And uh, have fun at the party tonight.”
Somehow, suddenly… the desire to turn tail isn’t half as strong anymore. Actually, it was just replaced by the wish to remain here. Just a little while longer. Because he’ll probably never get a chance to be alone with her like that again. He clears his throat. “Actually… I’d like a few more minutes of quiet. If you don’t mind.” A little belatedly, he remembers the package in his hands and can’t help adding, “And I brought cookies.”
That… makes her smile that little wonderful smile again and for the life of him he can’t bring himself to wish he hadn’t added that afterthought. “No, I don’t mind at all, sir. If you want a chair… there are a couple more in the corner over there. No blankets, though.”
Pffft. Blankets. Okay, so it’s not exactly warm out here in shirtsleeves but really. “That’s okay. I may be from California but I can take a little chill.”
Now it’s her who clears her throat and then she says in a tone as if she isn’t quite sure if that’s the best or worst idea she ever had, “I’d… share, sir. In exchange for cookies.”
Oh. Well. In that case… a blanket would be absolutely okay. He knows he should be arguing that and simply stick with his no blanket policy but… it’s Christmas. And she’ll be gone the day after tomorrow. There can hardly be harm in indulging oneself just a little. He smiles. “Thanks, Lieutenant.”
“You’re welcome, sir,” she simply answers and he gets himself a deck chair. When he sits down next to her and slips under the blanket she offers to gaze out at the stars and the city panorama and share cookies with her, he realizes he’ll miss her. Terribly. But for tonight, he’s got her all to himself and he’s going to make the most of it. The Christmas party was a little dull, anyway.
IV
He’s pretty sure Kassandra will really like the little thing he got her for Christmas. Thankfully they could both worm their way out of the whole stupid Secret Santa thing by simply evading each and every person trying to rope them into taking part so he could put all his energy into finding a Christmas gift for the one person in Atlantis that matters enough to him to actually warrant the gesture. He’ll give it to her tonight even though it’s not tradition to give Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve.
In his culture, at least but he knows there are a couple of countries where people get their gifts on Christmas Eve and he’d like to show Kassandra that he learned something in the six months he’s been serving here and that he’s very open minded and tolerant and all that.
Oh, okay, that’s a lie. Actually, he just can’t wait to see her reaction to the little something he got her and uses that whole “being open for other cultures” thing as an excuse to get to it ASAP. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t even want to wait until midnight. Which is also why he’ll not make a fuss about them not being alone tonight because the boss and his wife - oh God, he will never get used to the fact that his boss and the Cap are married now - invited a couple of people over to their quarters for a little pre-Christmas Day get together and Kassandra told him in very certain terms that they would not reject that invitation.
Yeah, yeah, great honor, blahblahblah… but if it makes her happy to go there, he’ll do it. Gladly, even, or something like it. So he’s standing in front of Major Lorne and Captain Cadman-Lorne’s quarters and trying to look relaxed when Kassandra rings the bell and a minute later, a grinning Cap opens the door and ushers them in. Oh God, and they’re also the last to arrive. Everyone else - the Sergeants, Major Moore, Captain Reece, Moore’s Sergeant and even the German medic, Dr. Keller, Ronon Dex… and oh God, Colonel Sheppard and Ms. Emmagan, too - is already there and… they’re not late, are they?
Almost ready to panic, he looks at Kassandra but she just rolls her eyes and gives him a little punch in the arm before she swishes off to talk to her new friends, the Marine Captains. Correction, the Marine Captains and Ms. Emmagan, who just seemed to have welcomed Kassandra just as warmly as the Captains. Or at least that’s what the smile and the few warm words he couldn’t quite understand indicated. He should never have let Kassandra go to that bachelorette bash.
So… “So, Lieutenant… You gonna wait until tomorrow or give it to her tonight?” What? What the hell is Major Moore talking…
“No use pretending you don’t know what Major Moore here is talking about, Joe. Punch?” But he really doesn’t know… oh, alcohol. If there’s one thing he learned at the Academy it’s never to say no when your superior offers you alcohol.
Okay, what he actually learned was that you should always say no when your superior offers you alcohol but what the heck. This is Atlantis. Basically everything is different in Atlantis. “With pleasure, sir.”
Pointedly ignoring the gleeful grin that his boss and Major Moore share, he takes a sip from the… holy crap. This is not funny, gentlemen. Stop snorting and… giggling. He’d even have said it if whatever is in that punch wouldn’t have burned its way all over whatever is in his throat. “Don’t even ask what’s in there. It’s the Sergeants special mix and they might even tell you.” From the look of it, it’s an experimental mix because the Sergeants who were standing over in a corner talking to Moore’s NCO and his medic seem to look very interested in their direction. He averts his eyes as soon as they registered his gaze and turns back to the Majors. “So, what Major Moore here meant was that he knows you took part in a time honored tradition to buy Christmas gifts for Atlantis women off-world and that he’s very much interested in when you’ll give it to your Atlantis woman.”
He’s pretty sure Kassandra would kick his ass if he called her “his Atlantis woman” and that the Cap would do the same to the boss if she heard him referring to her that way. “Time honored tradition? When did that start? And yes, I am. Very much interested. Little Miss Wilson’s been dropping hints left, right and center.” Hints? What kind of hints?
But even if he knew what the hell Moore was talking about, he wouldn’t have gotten to answer him anyway. “Yes, tradition. Remember the thing that Kemp got Wells last year?” Wait, what? Those two? Never in a million years. He’s pretty sure they’d have killed each other before they even made it to the decision to… no. No thinking that way about fellow company grade officers. Just not. “Anyway, what did you get Maureen this year?”
“Nothing you can buy. Neither off-world nor anywhere else.” And no thinking that way about field grade or any other officers, dammit. It would be a lot easier if…
“I don’t think I wanted to know that. Anyway… when are you going to give your thing to Miss Wilson?” What? Oh, right. The boss was talking to him. Thankfully, though, he’s spared his answer because apparently, somewhere over in the women’s corner decided to make this a spontaneous movie night and the Cap put a DVD into the DVD player - The Muppets Christmas Carol? Really? - and people are slowly gathering around the TV.
For the next hour, he looks frantically for a chance to get Kassandra alone while simultaneously trying not to stare at anyone who’s fraternizing with each other… okay, basically trying not to stare at anyone exchanging PDAs with each other because yes, seeing that kind of thing makes him uncomfortable and no, he doesn’t mind that this makes him a prude.
Then, finally, when Scrooge is shown his own grave, Kassandra excuses herself quietly to get up and go to the bathroom. He keeps an eye on the door and when it opens, he takes care to catch her far away enough from the rest of the living room without making it look like he’s dashing up. “Hey, uh… I know it’s not Christmas Day yet and everything but I really wanted to give you this for Christmas…”
She’s looking up at him and he’s pretty sure he never saw her like this before. All expectant and shining eyes and well… Better not prolong this anymore. He takes out the little box he’d been carrying around in his pocket the entire evening and… wow, he’s pretty sure he just saw her eyes mist over. Just like when he’d told her the boss and the Cap would… “You fucking idiot.”
What the hell? Why did she just call him an idiot when she opened the box and saw the beautiful, sophisticated and not exactly cheap silver pendant he got her on that well-developed world they visited last week? And why the hell did she just turn around and stomp out of the room without a word. Whatever did he… what… “What… but I don’t…”
“She was waiting for you to pop the question, buddy.” Damn! Did the boss just have to sneak up on him like that?
And what the hell was he talking about? “Which… question?”
“The question, Lieutenant McSmartypants.” Oh, how he hates it when people - especially Major Moore - call him that and…
Wait. The question… that question. Huh? “But how would she get the idea…” Oh. Fuck. “Those were the hints you meant, right, sir?”
Moore claps him on the back, just a little too forceful and even adds, “Congratulations, Captain Obvious.”
This… is really not good. This is not good and it’s even worse that Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard is privy to all of this. It’s also not helpful that his boss says, “Don’t worry, Lieutenant. As soon as she calms down enough she’ll love it. And you’ll get laid again. I think it’ll only take her about a million years.”
Oh God, this is just… “Boys, stop being mean to him.” The Cap. She just… saved his life. Not necessarily his dignity but at least his life. Because he was sure he was going to die from embarrassment just a moment ago. “Go on, get your girl, Lieutenant. The sooner, the less drama, the better.”
Well, he’s not sure if that is really going to help because the way Kassandra looked… and oh God, he also effectively spoiled the party. He actually wants to die again. “I’m… I’m so sorry, that I… I’m sorry to have…”
The Cap smiles and even punches him in the arm a little. “No reason to be sorry for such good entertainment.” Oh, of course she’d be happy about his misfortune. They all are and… “Now off with you. Maybe you can catch her and get her back in time for Evan here reading from Dickens’s Christmas Carol.”
Oh. Well. He’d never… he’s quite… surprised at the confidence she puts in his abilities to make Kassandra forget about such an awful blunder as this. Much more than he has himself, actually. But she’s been here for longer and as he found out the hard way, she wasn’t promoted just because she’s sleeping with Sheppard’s XO. He swallows. “Yes, ma’am.”
And now… off to… find his girlfriend and try to make her forget he didn’t ask her to marry him… without actually asking her. He’s just not ready for that. Yet. He just needs a little more time. But first he needs to get her back. Yes. He will. And then he won’t only have saved everyone else’s Christmas but most of all his own. Yeah. Good plan.
V
It’s Christmas Eve and she’s kind of glad they’re spending it at home on Earth, in the Indiana home of Will’s parents. She loves Atlantis but after what happened earlier this month… no, she will not think about it now. She promised her friends she wouldn’t, even though she can’t just stop caring about her friends - most of all those in need of love and care - and that she would just think of herself and her husband. She promised she would, so that’s what she’s doing.
So hard actually that… at first she didn’t notice that something was missing. Something that came with startling regularity since she was 14. But not this month. Not in December 2010. At first she couldn’t believe that she was overdue, then she was starting to think something had to be horribly wrong… and then her sensible nurse self had made her go out and buy a test kit when Will wasn’t looking and now she’s here, staring at two pink lines and there are no words to describe how she feels.
For so long… She’s been married to Will for ten years and they’d tried to conceive for nearly three years, until they were told it just wouldn’t work for them and they’d decided against artificial means and adoption, knowing it would be just as hard and painful as trying to conceive for them because they were a military couple and Will had wanted to make a career in the Corps and she’d always supported him in that… and now it happened. Just like that. After maybe a year in Atlantis it just… happened. She doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.
She’d like to think it’s just hormones but seriously, this is… it’s… it’s something she has to tell Will. Right fucking now, as Laura would say. So she tries to pull herself together and takes a deep breath and leaves the bathroom. Down the stairs and into the living room where Will is the only one still around. The rest of the family - his parents and his brother and his family - went to bed about an hour ago and she’d actually just wanted to get herself ready for bed when she’d remembered the test she bought and just tried it… and now she feels absolutely unable to go to bed.
Will’s reading and doesn’t notice her at first so she hides the test stick behind her back and clears her throat before saying a little breathlessly, “Will?”
He looks up from his book, looking a little surprised to see her still up. “Hm?”
Well. It occurs to her that this might be a bit of a blow for him so she tries to be gentle. She takes a few steps towards him and clears her throat again. “I… I think I have to do the Simmons this year.”
“The… what?” Mh. Obviously, that didn’t ring any bells. Even though he’d been present when Lieutenant Simmons hadn’t asked the question Kassandra had expected from him. Sometimes Will can be so dense.
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she clarifies, “I’ve got an early Christmas present for you.”
“Really, what…” Oh jeez, this is killing her. She just can’t wait any longer so she simply puts the stick in his hand. He is a medic. He should well be able to figure it out on his own. However, the frown on his face doesn’t promise much about that figuring out things on his own thing. “Is this… yours?”
Her first impulse is to say something along the lines of “No, it’s one from the girl next door.” because apparently, she’s been spending too much time with Laura and Maureen but she barely manages to keep it at, “Uh-huh.”
That… didn’t help much, though. There’s still disbelief on his face and he asks again, “This is yours?”
Sometimes… sometimes. She rolls her eyes, in a very Atlantis woman like manner. “Didn’t I just say that?”
“Oh my God.” Oh look who finally realized what’s going on here.
She can’t help grinning. “Yes, well, I doubt He had much to do…”
“Oh my fucking God.” Yes, he kind of said that before.
“Again…”
“I’m going to be a father.” Wow, Will Meyers, genius. “You’re going to be a mother.” No really, Captain Obvious? “We’re going to be parents.” She’s this close to finally voicing the sarcasm but he beats her to it, engulfing her in a crushing hug and kissing her as if his dear life depended on it and then swinging her around and generally being the guy she met twelve years ago. It’s been a while since she saw him exactly like that.
When he finally lets her down again, she reaches up to his face and she isn’t sure if he just spilled a few tears of joy or if that’s just… okay, he probably did. She smiles and gives him another peck on the lips. “Merry Christmas, Will.”
“Merry Christmas, Jessi.” He grins back and she wishes every one of their friends could be as happy at Christmas as they are right now. Thankfully, though, he keeps her thoughts from going down that trail right now by putting a hand on her flat belly and murmuring “Merry Christmas, little one,” in its direction.
She can’t help swatting him playfully on the arm for that but he just drags her back onto the couch with him and cradling her. Not minding it, she curls up against him and while he whispers to her about naming suggestions and godparents and what he’ll teach the kid first and how he will make sure that she’s not going to lift a finger during her pregnancy, she slowly drifts to sleep, her only Christmas wish being that for everything that made this year’s end a lot less nice than its months before, next year will be so much more beautiful. They all need it. They all deserve it.
Fandom: Stargate
Rating: T (language warning, guys. No, seriously.)
Genres: gen, het
Recipient: mackenziesmomma
Prompt: Stargate, PAS/MC cast, a time that Christmas wasn't quite what they imagined
Summary: Five couples, five Christmas Eves, from 2002 to 2010.
A/N: Holiday Fic Request Meme. So. This year's Christmas fic! \o/ It's a monster, and it was a monster to write and thank God I'm done with it. Also, pretty much spoilery, mostly for stuff that's far into the future in the LJ version of Protect and Survive/Minor Characters (it'll take me a while to get to that part here...). Also, thanks to sgteam14283 for the wonderful petname Charlie has for Anna. Anyway. On to editting the monster. Did I mention that I hate the LJ editor right now? I hate the LJ editor right now.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!
Five Times Christmas Eve Wasn’t Business as Usual
“Everybody around the world
Wherever you may be
Don't
Forget
The love
Under the Christmas tree.”
Albert Hammond, “Under the Christmas Tree”
I
It’s Christmas Eve 2002 and she thinks she’s going to explode, both literally and figuratively. She’s eight months pregnant with her second child, the first one is refusing to be anywhere other than her arms but keeps constantly squirming around, her mother in law just called to get on her nerves, the local Key Spouses asked her to bake cookies for tomorrow’s big Christmas Day get together, she’s got about a thousand student papers to grade… and the goddamn telephone just rang again.
Oh good God and now Felix started to cry again. She’s just… she… she’s this close to picking up and putting the receiver back on the phone so it’ll stop its infernal ringing but she’s been a military wife for over seven years now and Charlie’s away on deployment in Afghanistan. Answering the phone at all times is deeply ingrained in her. She picks it up. “Williamson, what is it?”
“Gee, Anna, I was hoping you’d be glad to hear from me.” Oh God, Charlie. It’s Charlie. He said he wouldn’t be able to call over Christmas because basically everyone wanted to and communication home was rickety at best and… it’s Charlie calling her on Christmas Eve.
She knows she should be poised and positive because that’s what all those other military wives say they are when they’re on the phone with their husbands. Not to worry your airman is every Air Force wife’s first duty. But as Lena Krystowsky would say, to hell with an Air Force wife’s duty. “I am. Oh God, Charlie, I’m so glad to hear your voice. Felix is so fussy lately and the other little one just won’t let me sleep at night and oh God, I’m so sorry but your mother is a stupid old dragon who only exists to make my life miserable, I swear she is and…”
“I miss you too, Sweet Tea.” Right. And is that an amused undertone? There’s nothing funny about this. Nothing at all. There’s… there’s her husband sitting thousands of miles away from her in a country that’s very much at war, having to deal with problems that are actually problems and for the first time ever she understands why some Air Force wives never tell their husbands how they feel or what they have to deal with.
She takes a deep breath and sits Felix down on the counter, taking care never to leave him untouched so he won’t start wailing again. Miraculously, it works. “Hey, I’m… I’m sorry, Red Tape. Sorry for the ranting. I know you have much heavier stuff to deal with and…”
“I’m neither pregnant, nor do I have to take care of a toddler and a household all on my own. And most of all I don’t have to deal with my mother. If it makes you happy, rant your heart out. As long as I can hear your voice, I’m happy.” She’s not sure if she heard him right because there’s a lot of static interrupting him every few moments and Felix started babbling away, quite happily and she could just suppress a little groan because the other little one just woke up.
A little exhausted, she sits down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter and rubs her lower back… and then it just slips out, “I love you, Charlie.”
There’s silence from the other end and she’s afraid that the connection just got severed or, worse yet, that this was somehow against some secret OPSEC code or something but then she realizes she didn’t hear him say anything because he was trying not to let her hear that he’s quietly laughing. After another minute in which she can hear him faintly snorting and chuckling, getting ready to give him a good wigging for laughing about something serious as this, she hears him say, “I love you too, Anna.”
“Yeah, you better. It’s a great achievement to be loved by me,” she huffs but it just serves to make him laugh harder.
Then she can hear that he tries to sound chiding, “You've been talking to Lena Krystowsky again, haven’t you? And Laura Greenspan.”
Of course she has. What did he think she’d do, being pregnant and alone on Christmas? Pffft. “You say that like it's a bad thing.”
He just laughs again and she has to admit that it’s probably the most wonderful thing she ever heard, so she decides to stop being a brat and uses the time she has with him to talk and laugh and have him talk to Felix and tell him about the strange relocation orders Evan received instead of deployment orders and generally make the best of having Charlie on the phone on Christmas Eve instead of having him at home. Such is the life of an Air Force wife.
II
He’s not quite sure how Maureen Reece ended up in his quarters on his first Christmas Eve in Atlantis - it might have something to do with Reece trying to find refuge from the all-encompassing Christmas cheer that has the city in its death grip, Reece’s words, not his - but it’s not like he’s complaining. He’s not even complaining about the whole power outage thing that McKay just informed them about because of the raging thunderstorm outside. And he sure as hell won’t complain about Maureen Reece sitting on his couch.
The only thing he is complaining about is that he can’t find the damn flashlight or even just candles. He knows he had both in his bedroom… no, wait, they’re in his kitchen. But he’s got something else in his bedroom… gotcha. “Uh, sir, not to bother you or anything… holy crap!”
What? Oh, right. “Never seen a guy with night-vision goggles on, Kid?”
They’re not the best quality but it would have been too conspicuous if he’d ordered the high end ones before being transferred to Atlantis. He didn’t want to be on any online shop’s list of buyers for NVGs only a handful of people own on the planet. And those he owns are good enough to see that she’s leaning against the door frame of his bedroom door with her arms crossed. He’s pretty sure he can even detect her trademark “the Major’s being an idiot again” look.
“No, sir. Just never seen anyone with privately owned ones.” What’s so weird about that, he thinks but chooses not to answer her. Sometimes it’s the best thing he can do in a conversation with her. So he just brushes past her and tries not to think about Maureen Reece in his bedroom door and sure as hell not about Maureen Reece in his bedroom - not again, anyway - as he makes his way to his kitchen to rummage around to find the damn candles. And some matchsticks. Because he just decided that it’s still Christmas Eve after all and that warrants candles, not a flashlight. Besides, Reece’s hair and eyes and basically everything about her looks gorgeous in candlelight.
So he returns to his couch to light the candles on the coffee table and then their soft flickering light fills the room. Reece returned to his couch as well and looks… uncomfortable? Aw, come on, he thinks, it’s not like I’m… but when another roll of thunder shakes the city and lightening paints the room in an unnatural white light she winces visibly and seems to huddle on the couch. Is she shaking?
He frowns. "Reece?"
"I'm... good, sir. Just a little... cold?" Was that a question? He just raises his eyebrows and she glares back, telling him not to probe any further. Oh well. With an obedient sigh, he pads back to the bedroom to dig up a blanket. And okay, yes, it's a little chilly so he sits down and drapes the blanket around him while another crack of thunder echoes in the room and Reece winces again.
Okay, this is weird. As far as he can remember, Reece was never afraid of thunderstorms when they were still at the SGC. Something must have happened in the time the Expedition was cut off from Earth. Actually, he can't even remember her being afraid of them here. There were one or two off-world missions that ended up with them being thoroughly soaked and she never even batted an eyelash at the thunder and lightning there. This is probably one of those situations were Laura used to say "if you don't ask, you're never gonna learn what's going on". He sighs. "Kid, what's going on? And don't say "nothing" because the way you nearly jump out of your skin every time there's thunder? That's not "nothing"."
"I do not..." A stern glare. "Alright. Maybe I wince a little." Okay, that's half an admission. He can work with that.
He sighs and digs himself out of the swaths of blanket again. “What happened, Kid?”
She looks at him, with that deer in headlights look she gave him so often back at the SGC but never since he came to Atlantis, to see her again after over a year. “I… there was… last year we had…” Another bolt of lightning and she winces enough to momentarily curl up.
Okay. It seems to be something deeper this time. Deep enough that he feels the deep seated urge to protect Reece stir. He could keep it under wraps for most of the year that he spent in Atlantis with her as his 2IC but he’d also tried to avoid seeing her emotionally vulnerable. Now… now he can’t get away. And it’s back full force. It’s out before he can do anything against it, and it
surprises him how rough his voice sounds, “Come here.”
She blinks and then shakes her head. “Oh no, sir, I…” Not that again.
“Come here, Kid.” Mh. Maybe he should make that sound less… intimate. “I’m starting to get jumpy myself seeing you over there. Just do us a both a favor and get your ass over here.” Also, she’s still shivering. “Sides… blanket’s not big enough to cover us both if you keep sitting over there.”
There’s another moment of silence, then she rolls her eyes in a “yeah, yeah, fine” gesture and scoots over, close enough that her knees are lying on his thighs. When he lifts his arm to put it on the sofa’s backrest, he tells himself it’s just to make sitting more comfortable for himself and not to accommodate her and have it in a strategically advantageous position to maybe put it around her shoulders later. He puts the blanket back in place to cover both of them this time and once they’re both settled in, he has a bit of trouble not to whisper when he says, “Now tell me?”
To his surprise… she does. Obviously, there’d been trouble with those Genii guys in the year they’d been cut off from Earth. Some big thunderstorm that led to the city being evacuated but not before some big hassle. She doesn’t elaborate much but from the way she tenses ever so often, even he can see that it’s not his presence that has her tight up in knots.
Actually, it seems as if the longer she’s sitting so close to him, the more she relaxes. Enough that after a while, her head is lying on his arm and her soft regular breathing on the skin of his arm is giving him chills of a whole different kind. Obviously, Maureen Reece fell asleep in his arms. He grins and takes the liberty of smiling and breathing, “Merry Christmas, Kid. And thank you,” in her hair. Because this? Best Christmas present ever.
III
So it’s Christmas Eve and the annual Atlantis Christmas party is in full swing. Has been for two hours now. A little more subdued than usual because everyone who knew Carson Beckett still remembers how much he loved the Atlantis Christmas party but still a very pleasant and fun affair. Which is why it seems a little odd that Lieutenant Cadman still hasn’t made her way to the mess hall.
Okay, yes, she’d been Carson’s girlfriend for a while but the way he understood it, it had been over even before Carson died. On the other hand… he still remembers the way she looked when he told her that Carson was killed. He remembers the way she was laughing and talking to a friend one moment and looking confused and shocked the next. He remembers how sorry he’d been for spoiling her carefree mood like that but the moment the news had reached him, he’d known that someone should tell her. He’d known he’d probably be the only one thinking of it so he’d been the one bringing her the bad news. The guilt over that made him start looking out for her after it had happened.
It’s one of the reasons why he noticed her absence right from the beginning. That and the fact that he was hoping he might get to… well… say goodbye to her in a proper manner. Her request for transfer went across his desk two weeks ago and it only took another week to have it approved. He never tried to talk her out of it but somehow, the thought of Laura Cadman not being in the city anymore… it’s not a nice one. And where the hell is she?
Mh. Something tells him he might know where she is… and that she might not want company. But hell, it’s Christmas and like hell he’ll let one of his soldiers be unhappy over Christmas. He ignores that he actually just doesn’t want Laura Cadman to be unhappy. And anyway, that’s not the point here. The point is that he just decided to slip out of the mess hall and go looking for Cadman. Just for a few minutes, just to make sure that she’s okay.
He takes great care for no one to see that he leaves the mess hall and then discreetly asks the city to locate Lieutenant Cadman for him. The city tells him what he already assumed. She’s on a balcony in the West quarter, a couple of levels up.
When he finds her balcony after a spontaneous detour to his quarters to get the package of home baked cookies his mother sent, he sees her sitting in a deck chair, swathed in a blanket, looking out into the Lantea night. There’s something that looks like like a thermos flask on the floor next to her and it gives his heart a curious little stab to see sociable Laura Cadman of all people alone on Christmas Eve. Well. No guts, no glory, as Cadman would say.
He steps out on the balcony and… clears his throat, not quite sure what to say. Which is why he’s almost grateful that the task is taken from his hands when Cadman half turns around and squints at him. “Evening, sir.” Okay, that’s a good start, isn’t it? She could have told him to beat it, couldn’t she?
“Evening, Lieutenant.” Mh. So far, so good. And now? Oh, okay, maybe just the truth. With Cadman jumping right to the issue was never a problem. “So I noticed… you weren’t at the Christmas party.”
She looks very much like she’d like to raise her eyebrows and give him some smartass answer in the line of “You noticed. Uh-huh. Way to go, Major Eagle-eye.” but in the end she just shrugs and says, “Just wasn’t in the mood for it,” and turns back to the city panorama. He starts feeling a little ridiculous standing here with his cookies. But he was never one for giving up easily.
“I… understand.” That gets her to turn around again and frown. “I really do. I… Laura, I miss him, too.” Calling her by her first name hadn’t really been planned but this didn’t feel like something you use rank or last name for.
“I… thank you, sir. But it’s not… it’s not just missing Carson.” That… surprises him. What else is this about?
Oh. Well. How about he just asks her. “This has something to do with your transfer request, doesn’t it?” He never planned on talking about it with her because he figured she had her reasons. Private reasons. But if those reasons drive her to something as out of character as missing out on the Christmas party…
She doesn’t answer right away and he doesn’t blame her. If he’s honest, he never actually expected her to answer so he’s a bit surprised when she does. “Kinda. You know, since Carson died… I just… I just don’t feel at home here anymore. Something doesn’t fit anymore.” She didn’t look at him when she said that and he feels another wave of guilt crashing down on him. If she’s feeling like that… doesn’t it mean he screwed up looking after her? “Hey, don’t worry. It’s not your fault, sir.” What?
Oh. She must have seen something in his face telling her of his private guilt trip. Is he really that easy to read? “No, that’s… I didn’t think…” Time to change the topic. Or at least change it away from the uncomfortable feeling of Laura Cadman being able to read his mind. “Hey, uh… do you know where you’ll be staying yet, Lieutenant?”
If she’s put off by his sudden attempt at distracting her, she doesn’t show it. Instead she shrugs. “Not really, sir. I have a couple of things in storage in Springs but… no house or anything. Guess I’ll stay at the SGC for a couple of weeks first and then try to find a place.”
Somehow the thought of Cadman staying at the SGC, in one of the drab and windowless personnel quarters makes him a little… sad. Or maybe it’s the thought of Cadman not living in her airy and bright quarters in Atlantis anymore. It’s a thought he banished from his mind as soon as it appeared. The downside of that is that it distracts him enough from himself that something he hadn’t wanted to say out loud makes it out in the open, “Let me know when you find something?”
That was just stupid. Why not ask her outright if she wants to be your pen pal and thoroughly make a fool out of yourself, you idiot, an ugly little voice whispers in his mind and he’s ready to turn tail and never talk to her again when she says, “Sure, sir,” and gives him a little smile that makes his heart beat a little faster.
It’s that sudden increase in heart rate that makes him clear his throat and utter, “Great. Uh… merry Christmas, Lieutenant?” Why did that just come out as a question?
And why can’t she stop smiling that amused little smile? “Yeah, merry Christmas, sir.” Ah, she stopped smiling. Unfortunately, it’s replaced by a look that’s probably supposed to be all business and she adds, “And uh, have fun at the party tonight.”
Somehow, suddenly… the desire to turn tail isn’t half as strong anymore. Actually, it was just replaced by the wish to remain here. Just a little while longer. Because he’ll probably never get a chance to be alone with her like that again. He clears his throat. “Actually… I’d like a few more minutes of quiet. If you don’t mind.” A little belatedly, he remembers the package in his hands and can’t help adding, “And I brought cookies.”
That… makes her smile that little wonderful smile again and for the life of him he can’t bring himself to wish he hadn’t added that afterthought. “No, I don’t mind at all, sir. If you want a chair… there are a couple more in the corner over there. No blankets, though.”
Pffft. Blankets. Okay, so it’s not exactly warm out here in shirtsleeves but really. “That’s okay. I may be from California but I can take a little chill.”
Now it’s her who clears her throat and then she says in a tone as if she isn’t quite sure if that’s the best or worst idea she ever had, “I’d… share, sir. In exchange for cookies.”
Oh. Well. In that case… a blanket would be absolutely okay. He knows he should be arguing that and simply stick with his no blanket policy but… it’s Christmas. And she’ll be gone the day after tomorrow. There can hardly be harm in indulging oneself just a little. He smiles. “Thanks, Lieutenant.”
“You’re welcome, sir,” she simply answers and he gets himself a deck chair. When he sits down next to her and slips under the blanket she offers to gaze out at the stars and the city panorama and share cookies with her, he realizes he’ll miss her. Terribly. But for tonight, he’s got her all to himself and he’s going to make the most of it. The Christmas party was a little dull, anyway.
IV
He’s pretty sure Kassandra will really like the little thing he got her for Christmas. Thankfully they could both worm their way out of the whole stupid Secret Santa thing by simply evading each and every person trying to rope them into taking part so he could put all his energy into finding a Christmas gift for the one person in Atlantis that matters enough to him to actually warrant the gesture. He’ll give it to her tonight even though it’s not tradition to give Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve.
In his culture, at least but he knows there are a couple of countries where people get their gifts on Christmas Eve and he’d like to show Kassandra that he learned something in the six months he’s been serving here and that he’s very open minded and tolerant and all that.
Oh, okay, that’s a lie. Actually, he just can’t wait to see her reaction to the little something he got her and uses that whole “being open for other cultures” thing as an excuse to get to it ASAP. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t even want to wait until midnight. Which is also why he’ll not make a fuss about them not being alone tonight because the boss and his wife - oh God, he will never get used to the fact that his boss and the Cap are married now - invited a couple of people over to their quarters for a little pre-Christmas Day get together and Kassandra told him in very certain terms that they would not reject that invitation.
Yeah, yeah, great honor, blahblahblah… but if it makes her happy to go there, he’ll do it. Gladly, even, or something like it. So he’s standing in front of Major Lorne and Captain Cadman-Lorne’s quarters and trying to look relaxed when Kassandra rings the bell and a minute later, a grinning Cap opens the door and ushers them in. Oh God, and they’re also the last to arrive. Everyone else - the Sergeants, Major Moore, Captain Reece, Moore’s Sergeant and even the German medic, Dr. Keller, Ronon Dex… and oh God, Colonel Sheppard and Ms. Emmagan, too - is already there and… they’re not late, are they?
Almost ready to panic, he looks at Kassandra but she just rolls her eyes and gives him a little punch in the arm before she swishes off to talk to her new friends, the Marine Captains. Correction, the Marine Captains and Ms. Emmagan, who just seemed to have welcomed Kassandra just as warmly as the Captains. Or at least that’s what the smile and the few warm words he couldn’t quite understand indicated. He should never have let Kassandra go to that bachelorette bash.
So… “So, Lieutenant… You gonna wait until tomorrow or give it to her tonight?” What? What the hell is Major Moore talking…
“No use pretending you don’t know what Major Moore here is talking about, Joe. Punch?” But he really doesn’t know… oh, alcohol. If there’s one thing he learned at the Academy it’s never to say no when your superior offers you alcohol.
Okay, what he actually learned was that you should always say no when your superior offers you alcohol but what the heck. This is Atlantis. Basically everything is different in Atlantis. “With pleasure, sir.”
Pointedly ignoring the gleeful grin that his boss and Major Moore share, he takes a sip from the… holy crap. This is not funny, gentlemen. Stop snorting and… giggling. He’d even have said it if whatever is in that punch wouldn’t have burned its way all over whatever is in his throat. “Don’t even ask what’s in there. It’s the Sergeants special mix and they might even tell you.” From the look of it, it’s an experimental mix because the Sergeants who were standing over in a corner talking to Moore’s NCO and his medic seem to look very interested in their direction. He averts his eyes as soon as they registered his gaze and turns back to the Majors. “So, what Major Moore here meant was that he knows you took part in a time honored tradition to buy Christmas gifts for Atlantis women off-world and that he’s very much interested in when you’ll give it to your Atlantis woman.”
He’s pretty sure Kassandra would kick his ass if he called her “his Atlantis woman” and that the Cap would do the same to the boss if she heard him referring to her that way. “Time honored tradition? When did that start? And yes, I am. Very much interested. Little Miss Wilson’s been dropping hints left, right and center.” Hints? What kind of hints?
But even if he knew what the hell Moore was talking about, he wouldn’t have gotten to answer him anyway. “Yes, tradition. Remember the thing that Kemp got Wells last year?” Wait, what? Those two? Never in a million years. He’s pretty sure they’d have killed each other before they even made it to the decision to… no. No thinking that way about fellow company grade officers. Just not. “Anyway, what did you get Maureen this year?”
“Nothing you can buy. Neither off-world nor anywhere else.” And no thinking that way about field grade or any other officers, dammit. It would be a lot easier if…
“I don’t think I wanted to know that. Anyway… when are you going to give your thing to Miss Wilson?” What? Oh, right. The boss was talking to him. Thankfully, though, he’s spared his answer because apparently, somewhere over in the women’s corner decided to make this a spontaneous movie night and the Cap put a DVD into the DVD player - The Muppets Christmas Carol? Really? - and people are slowly gathering around the TV.
For the next hour, he looks frantically for a chance to get Kassandra alone while simultaneously trying not to stare at anyone who’s fraternizing with each other… okay, basically trying not to stare at anyone exchanging PDAs with each other because yes, seeing that kind of thing makes him uncomfortable and no, he doesn’t mind that this makes him a prude.
Then, finally, when Scrooge is shown his own grave, Kassandra excuses herself quietly to get up and go to the bathroom. He keeps an eye on the door and when it opens, he takes care to catch her far away enough from the rest of the living room without making it look like he’s dashing up. “Hey, uh… I know it’s not Christmas Day yet and everything but I really wanted to give you this for Christmas…”
She’s looking up at him and he’s pretty sure he never saw her like this before. All expectant and shining eyes and well… Better not prolong this anymore. He takes out the little box he’d been carrying around in his pocket the entire evening and… wow, he’s pretty sure he just saw her eyes mist over. Just like when he’d told her the boss and the Cap would… “You fucking idiot.”
What the hell? Why did she just call him an idiot when she opened the box and saw the beautiful, sophisticated and not exactly cheap silver pendant he got her on that well-developed world they visited last week? And why the hell did she just turn around and stomp out of the room without a word. Whatever did he… what… “What… but I don’t…”
“She was waiting for you to pop the question, buddy.” Damn! Did the boss just have to sneak up on him like that?
And what the hell was he talking about? “Which… question?”
“The question, Lieutenant McSmartypants.” Oh, how he hates it when people - especially Major Moore - call him that and…
Wait. The question… that question. Huh? “But how would she get the idea…” Oh. Fuck. “Those were the hints you meant, right, sir?”
Moore claps him on the back, just a little too forceful and even adds, “Congratulations, Captain Obvious.”
This… is really not good. This is not good and it’s even worse that Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard is privy to all of this. It’s also not helpful that his boss says, “Don’t worry, Lieutenant. As soon as she calms down enough she’ll love it. And you’ll get laid again. I think it’ll only take her about a million years.”
Oh God, this is just… “Boys, stop being mean to him.” The Cap. She just… saved his life. Not necessarily his dignity but at least his life. Because he was sure he was going to die from embarrassment just a moment ago. “Go on, get your girl, Lieutenant. The sooner, the less drama, the better.”
Well, he’s not sure if that is really going to help because the way Kassandra looked… and oh God, he also effectively spoiled the party. He actually wants to die again. “I’m… I’m so sorry, that I… I’m sorry to have…”
The Cap smiles and even punches him in the arm a little. “No reason to be sorry for such good entertainment.” Oh, of course she’d be happy about his misfortune. They all are and… “Now off with you. Maybe you can catch her and get her back in time for Evan here reading from Dickens’s Christmas Carol.”
Oh. Well. He’d never… he’s quite… surprised at the confidence she puts in his abilities to make Kassandra forget about such an awful blunder as this. Much more than he has himself, actually. But she’s been here for longer and as he found out the hard way, she wasn’t promoted just because she’s sleeping with Sheppard’s XO. He swallows. “Yes, ma’am.”
And now… off to… find his girlfriend and try to make her forget he didn’t ask her to marry him… without actually asking her. He’s just not ready for that. Yet. He just needs a little more time. But first he needs to get her back. Yes. He will. And then he won’t only have saved everyone else’s Christmas but most of all his own. Yeah. Good plan.
V
It’s Christmas Eve and she’s kind of glad they’re spending it at home on Earth, in the Indiana home of Will’s parents. She loves Atlantis but after what happened earlier this month… no, she will not think about it now. She promised her friends she wouldn’t, even though she can’t just stop caring about her friends - most of all those in need of love and care - and that she would just think of herself and her husband. She promised she would, so that’s what she’s doing.
So hard actually that… at first she didn’t notice that something was missing. Something that came with startling regularity since she was 14. But not this month. Not in December 2010. At first she couldn’t believe that she was overdue, then she was starting to think something had to be horribly wrong… and then her sensible nurse self had made her go out and buy a test kit when Will wasn’t looking and now she’s here, staring at two pink lines and there are no words to describe how she feels.
For so long… She’s been married to Will for ten years and they’d tried to conceive for nearly three years, until they were told it just wouldn’t work for them and they’d decided against artificial means and adoption, knowing it would be just as hard and painful as trying to conceive for them because they were a military couple and Will had wanted to make a career in the Corps and she’d always supported him in that… and now it happened. Just like that. After maybe a year in Atlantis it just… happened. She doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.
She’d like to think it’s just hormones but seriously, this is… it’s… it’s something she has to tell Will. Right fucking now, as Laura would say. So she tries to pull herself together and takes a deep breath and leaves the bathroom. Down the stairs and into the living room where Will is the only one still around. The rest of the family - his parents and his brother and his family - went to bed about an hour ago and she’d actually just wanted to get herself ready for bed when she’d remembered the test she bought and just tried it… and now she feels absolutely unable to go to bed.
Will’s reading and doesn’t notice her at first so she hides the test stick behind her back and clears her throat before saying a little breathlessly, “Will?”
He looks up from his book, looking a little surprised to see her still up. “Hm?”
Well. It occurs to her that this might be a bit of a blow for him so she tries to be gentle. She takes a few steps towards him and clears her throat again. “I… I think I have to do the Simmons this year.”
“The… what?” Mh. Obviously, that didn’t ring any bells. Even though he’d been present when Lieutenant Simmons hadn’t asked the question Kassandra had expected from him. Sometimes Will can be so dense.
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she clarifies, “I’ve got an early Christmas present for you.”
“Really, what…” Oh jeez, this is killing her. She just can’t wait any longer so she simply puts the stick in his hand. He is a medic. He should well be able to figure it out on his own. However, the frown on his face doesn’t promise much about that figuring out things on his own thing. “Is this… yours?”
Her first impulse is to say something along the lines of “No, it’s one from the girl next door.” because apparently, she’s been spending too much time with Laura and Maureen but she barely manages to keep it at, “Uh-huh.”
That… didn’t help much, though. There’s still disbelief on his face and he asks again, “This is yours?”
Sometimes… sometimes. She rolls her eyes, in a very Atlantis woman like manner. “Didn’t I just say that?”
“Oh my God.” Oh look who finally realized what’s going on here.
She can’t help grinning. “Yes, well, I doubt He had much to do…”
“Oh my fucking God.” Yes, he kind of said that before.
“Again…”
“I’m going to be a father.” Wow, Will Meyers, genius. “You’re going to be a mother.” No really, Captain Obvious? “We’re going to be parents.” She’s this close to finally voicing the sarcasm but he beats her to it, engulfing her in a crushing hug and kissing her as if his dear life depended on it and then swinging her around and generally being the guy she met twelve years ago. It’s been a while since she saw him exactly like that.
When he finally lets her down again, she reaches up to his face and she isn’t sure if he just spilled a few tears of joy or if that’s just… okay, he probably did. She smiles and gives him another peck on the lips. “Merry Christmas, Will.”
“Merry Christmas, Jessi.” He grins back and she wishes every one of their friends could be as happy at Christmas as they are right now. Thankfully, though, he keeps her thoughts from going down that trail right now by putting a hand on her flat belly and murmuring “Merry Christmas, little one,” in its direction.
She can’t help swatting him playfully on the arm for that but he just drags her back onto the couch with him and cradling her. Not minding it, she curls up against him and while he whispers to her about naming suggestions and godparents and what he’ll teach the kid first and how he will make sure that she’s not going to lift a finger during her pregnancy, she slowly drifts to sleep, her only Christmas wish being that for everything that made this year’s end a lot less nice than its months before, next year will be so much more beautiful. They all need it. They all deserve it.