Fic: The Paradox That Drives Us On
Title: The Paradox That Drives Us On
Fandom: Star Wars/Stargate
Rating: K+
Genres: gen
Recipient: mackenziesmomma
Prompt: Star Wars/Stargate, Delvin Sandwalker and Evan Lorne, playing nice with others
Summary: This certainly didn't go as planned for Delvin Sandwalker. Actually, it wasn't planned at all.
A/N: Holiday Fic Request Meme. So... Another one that will probably make those not one of the selected few who finished reading Not in Kansas Anymore go "WTH?" which is why I won't post it anywhere else but here for now (and I most certainly will not post it at starwars_fanfic... what the fucking hell is going on over there and what is their issue with my stuff? An actual answer to that question would be really nice...). It's also not really a standalone because the story refused to be an actual one-shot. It's rather the promise of another multi-chapter in the NIKA 'verse that I'll start tackling once I get all that other stuff in the backlog done (so... in about two years or something). But I won't forget it. Seriously, I won't. And there's some conclusion here! Anyway, it's spoilery for NIKA Everyone who doesn't like spoilers and is following Not in Kansas Anymore here in LJ: don't read it. Everyone else: enjoy. And look again at yappichick's awesome fanart, while you're at it :D
The Paradox That Drives Us On
“In the warrior's code there's no surrender
though his body says stop his spirit cries "never"
deep in our soul a quiet amber knows it's you against you
it's the paradox that drives us on
it's a battle of will in the heat of attack
it's the passion that kills the victory is yours alone.”
Survivor, “Burning Heart”
This fucking wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to get sucked in by that device that sicced Lorne and Cadman on his universe. He wasn’t supposed to be sicced on their universe. Universe has a rotten sense of humor, and that’s why he is here anyway. At least he didn’t land himself in the middle of a damn galactic civil war. Not one that he’s aware of, anyway. Ah, hell.
No point in moping. Been in worse scrapes before, he tells himself. As long as no one’s shooting at him, things can’t be half-bad. Sure, there’s this little guy with hair sticking in all directions who doesn’t seem to speak anything resembling Basic and that lady of plasteel with the stern look and the uptight manner that painfully reminds him of Mor. Virina. She reminds him of Virina and every time he looks at the lady it fucking hurts like hell.
Makes him even kind of thankful that the one completing his welcome team is none other than Major Evan Lorne. Not like he’s particularly overjoyed to see Flyboy again but at least it’s a familiar face. He’s not above feeling glad about familiar faces in a galaxy thousands of light-years and maybe an entire dimension away from his own.
But not glad enough not to be pissed about being made to feel as if they’re interrogating him. They’re making a show of being good hosts and accepting him as their guest but he’s not stupid. He knows there are two heavily armed guards outside, or at least what passes as heavily armed around here. He’d seen one of the guards hand Lorne a sidearm that the Major strapped on in a thigh holster.
The tone plasteel lady keeps asking her questions in never changes to anything beyond professionalism and the frown of uneasiness never leaves Lorne’s face. They tell him they thought Cadman had verified that the device would only have enough juice left to get them back home and then fry completely. He tells them as it turned out Cadman was wrong. Turned also out he was in the wrong place at the wrong time when it proved it never actually stopped working.
Lorne reacts weirdly whenever anyone mentions Cadman’s name. Had a lover’s spat? Never got together with her after all? He almost smirks at the third time that Lorne’s frown deepens an entire inch when little fuzz guy mentions Cadman. He’s not thinking about wishing he could tell Virina about this. He’s not thinking about Virina and how one of them is on the wrong side of the universe. All through the interrogation. Debriefing. Whatever.
He’s still not thinking about her when the meeting finishes and plasteel lady orders Lorne to take care of their new “guest” and to find quarters to him. She doesn’t say “lock him up” but it’s clear that she means for him to stay wherever the hell Lorne puts him. He doesn’t even need to see Lorne gesturing to the guards outside the briefing room to follow them to know that.
Because he’s not thinking about Virina on the way to his new “quarters” and Lorne is still as tightlipped as the fish on Mon Calamari, he decides to be conversationally. Can only get better. He opts for heads on assault. “So where’s Cadman?”
Nothing from Lorne, at least for one or two steps. If the guards heard him, they don’t let it show. Maybe they’re of the same infantry as Cadman is. “In the infirmary.”
Well. That wasn’t what he expected. The tone Lorne said them in, not the actual words. So Lorne’s uptightness probably doesn’t have to do much with his unexpected arrival. In his head, he hears Virina snort and mutter “Well, what did you expect, trooper?” He ignores that. Like he ignores propriety. “What’s she doing there?”
If Lorne’s pissed by the question, he’s making a pretty good show of not showing it. His show of not showing that he’s worried isn’t half as good. “Being unconscious.”
Virina would probably tell him not to pry but he’s gotta know. He came to like Cadman, even if Virina didn’t. Or claimed she didn’t. “For how long has she been a lazy ass?”
“A week, give or take.” That proves his theory. ‘Course he knew he’d be right, it’s just nice to have it confirmed so easily. It’s also nice to know it’s not his fault that Lorne is much less of a talker than when he saw him last time, about a standard year ago. Hell if he knows why but it’s nice.
Lorne doesn’t look like he’s willing to share more than that. It’s only natural that this is his cue to ask Lorne how it happ… “So, Major, when did you think to introduce our newest guest to your boss?”
Who… “I did, sir.” That is Lorne’s superior? Or one of them, anyway, since plasteel lady obviously was one, too. He takes in the man… and his companion. The guy Lorne addresses with “sir” - weirdest thing ever, seeing Lorne of all people call someone that - seems to be of the harmless variety but there’s something about him. Something familiar.
The way he just narrowed his eyes at Lorne… that’s what one of his superior’s likes to do. The guy’s a soldier. Even with that hair. “Yeah, you introduced him to Eliza… Dr. Weir.”
The second guy - pretty damn straight not a soldier - opens his mouth but Lorne ignores him. He’d have done the same. “That’s because you were off-world until a few minutes ago, sir. And not supposed to come back for the next two days, if I may remind you.” This is actually starting to be fun. Almost enough to make him stop not thinking of Virina so hard.
Mostly, that’s because just for a very short moment, Lorne’s superior looks sheepish. “Trade negotiations with the Perseii went better than expected.” There’s a story behind this. Good one, judging from the uncomfortable look Lorne’s superior and that other guy share. Other guy opens his mouth again but is beat to it by Lorne’s superior. “Anyway. I got a preliminary briefing by Dr. Weir. I’m Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. You must be Major Delvin Sandwalker.”
He nods. “Yes, sir.”
“And you got here by the same way Lorne and Cadman disappeared to your end of the universe a couple of months ago?” Again, he feels as if he’s being interrogated. He doesn’t mind it much this time. It’s not like he isn’t used to superior officers trying to skin him alive with their thoroughness.
He nods again. “Correct, sir.”
Sheppard opens his mouth again but Other Guy seems to think he’s got a say in this, too. “Dr. Zelenka, John! Elizabeth said Zelenka is going to be in the lead for this case. I demand you speak to her again because that scatterbrained Czech is certainly not qualified to deal with something as complicated as Ancient technology that probably connects dimensions or universes, and in a whole different way from a quantum mirror. I told her we should have kept researching it because I always knew that Cadman overlooked a few crucial things in its workings because for God’s sake, she’s a Marine and the only reason she could get this thing to work was probably…”
Not good. Look on Lorne’s face is not good. Diversionary tactics always work. “Who the kark is that?”
Still the same look. For about another second. “Dr. Rodney Mckay. You’re going to love him. We all do.” Just like he said. Always works. Another notch on his barrel in the ongoing argument with Virina.
“Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary holding Cadman’s hand and spouting sentimental nonsense or something, Lorne?” Dr. Rodney McKay doesn’t seem to be a very smart guy. No one in his right mind would have said something like that to a guy with a girlfriend in the infirmary. He’d be dead now if it had been about Virina.
Seems as if he won’t make it much longer with Lorne on the trigger, either. “Watch it, Rodney.”
“Or what?” He’s pretty sure he doesn’t want that guy on the team trying to solve the mystery of how to get him home again.
“Or I’ll allow Major Sandwalker here to stop playing nice with others if “others” pertains to you.” Look at that. Lorne does know how to entertain a guest.
“Major.” Well. Sheppard doesn’t. Obviously, he doesn’t even know how to entertain his own junior officers.
“Sir.” But he knows how to silence them with just one word. That’s almost equally impressive.
Sheppard just nods at Lorne’s acknowledgement and reminds of one of his own Lieutenant Colonels stronger with every minute. That’s a good thing. Makes following his orders easier. Lieutenant Colonel Selkayim’s the only flag officer whose orders he never questions. “Dr. Weir told me she assigned Dr. Zelenka to work on this but I’m sure no one would mind your input, Rodney. Gentlemen?”
Lorne next to him nods grudgingly and he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to take someone insulting Virina like that in stride. Not even if Virina were confined to a bed in sick bay and could defend herself. He decides to follow Lorne’s example, just for once. Less hustle if he does. “It’s going to be a pleasure working with you, doc.”
Also the added bonus of seeing that McKay guy first bluster with flattered pride and then implode when he realizes the barely veiled sarcasm. Lorne was right. He’s going to love working with McKay. There’s something to guys with overinflated egos. Most of all when someone constantly gets the chance to trim them back to room size. Sheppard takes charge again. “Alright, Lorne. Get Major Sandwalker here settled in and then get me a draft of the adjusted schedules.”
Lorne simply nods. “Yes, sir.”
McKay simply protests. “What about…”
Sheppard simply ignores it. “Locker room, Rodney. And be nice to Zelenka when you wrestle your way in on this case.”
“But…” McKay’s like a nek with a bone, has to give him that.
“If you aren’t, you’ll have to talk to Elizabeth about this.” Sheppard’s sneaky. McKay’s momentarily blanching shows how much that is smarter than obstinacy.
McKay probably hasn’t learned a thing, and he wonders just how long he’s been working with Sheppard. “You really like to…”
“Get going.” Sheppard just starts walking again and drags McKay with him, leaving him behind with Lorne and the two guards who don’t even need storm troopers’ helmets to appear stoic. Good training. Probably Lorne’s doing. He’ll probably compliment the other man on that.
Actually, he’s tempted to do it even on the walk to the quarters they assigned to him but something in Lorne’s attitude makes it clear he’s not in the mood for small talk so he keeps his mouth shut all the way to the blast door that opens when Lorne swipes his hand over a little box next to it. It reveals a small room with a bed and a fairly big window. It’s open and there’s a breeze wafting in. Could have been worse.
Lorne accompanies him into the room, with the guards waiting in front of the door again. He hands him a device that he explains to be a radio and explains a couple other things about safety protocols, schedules and a brief look into the city’s command structure. He ends it with, “So… now that we’re done here… please excuse me, Major, I’ll have to go and hold Cadman’s hand and spout sentimental nonsense now.”
Whatever happened to Cadman, it must have been fucked up enough that it took with it a good portion of Lorne’s professionalism. He knows the feeling much too well. “Just tell her to get her lazy ass up and do a couple push-ups. Us grunts usually respond to that pretty well.”
A humorless grin crosses Lorne’s face. “Wish it were that easy.”
“Yeah, me too.” Nothing to add here.
That’s probably the reason why Lorne doesn’t comment on it. He just nods and says, “Don’t break the doc. With Laura out of commission, he’s your best chance at getting home. Actually, even with Laura not out of commission he’d be your best shot.”
Probably. But that’s not the point. The point is that Lorne took his advice and he and Cadman still ended up with being fucked thoroughly by the universe. Makes him feel kind of guilty. He offers the best he has. “For what it’s worth: it’s better like that than…”
“I know that.” Whoa. He got it, he got it. No reason to get pissed, Flyboy. “Which is why I’ll excuse myself now.” Lorne knows that. It’s almost pitiful how he still tries to keep up a façade, even when things are not even half okay. “Anyway… if you need a break from the science squad… ask for Ronon Dex or Teyla Emmagan.”
Whoever that is. He’s not even in the mood to get to know them. Getting to know new people just isn’t his favorite kind of thing to do. Checking on those he knows is easier and makes more sense. “Or I could ask for directions for the infirmary.”
Lorne nods, nothing in his face betraying if he’d appreciate it or not. Just as well. “Or that.”
So. That’s it then. Okay, except one thing. He runs a hand over his hand. “Guess you heard it too often now so I’m not gonna tell you that she’s gonna make it, Lorne. ”
The other Major contemplates that for a moment. Then he nods again. Looks like he accepted it. “Guess you’re gonna hear it too often as long as you’re here so I’m not gonna tell you we’re gonna get you home, Sandwalker.”
He contemplates that. Yeah. That makes sense. It’s even appreciated. He nods. “Fair enough.”
That’s everything that needed to be said. It’s to Lorne’s credit that he recognized that himself and takes off to leave him to his own devices. While Lorne goes to visit Cadman and tell her to get the fuck up and running again, he’s left with his thoughts about Virina and his men and suddenly, it’s impossible not to think about her and them. It’s impossible not to be shit scared about his fate being completely in the hand of others. So it’s a good thing he learned to do the impossible in his year with the Rebel Alliance. Can’t be so hard doing that here, as well, after all.
Fandom: Star Wars/Stargate
Rating: K+
Genres: gen
Recipient: mackenziesmomma
Prompt: Star Wars/Stargate, Delvin Sandwalker and Evan Lorne, playing nice with others
Summary: This certainly didn't go as planned for Delvin Sandwalker. Actually, it wasn't planned at all.
A/N: Holiday Fic Request Meme. So... Another one that will probably make those not one of the selected few who finished reading Not in Kansas Anymore go "WTH?" which is why I won't post it anywhere else but here for now (and I most certainly will not post it at starwars_fanfic... what the fucking hell is going on over there and what is their issue with my stuff? An actual answer to that question would be really nice...). It's also not really a standalone because the story refused to be an actual one-shot. It's rather the promise of another multi-chapter in the NIKA 'verse that I'll start tackling once I get all that other stuff in the backlog done (so... in about two years or something). But I won't forget it. Seriously, I won't. And there's some conclusion here! Anyway, it's spoilery for NIKA Everyone who doesn't like spoilers and is following Not in Kansas Anymore here in LJ: don't read it. Everyone else: enjoy. And look again at yappichick's awesome fanart, while you're at it :D
The Paradox That Drives Us On
“In the warrior's code there's no surrender
though his body says stop his spirit cries "never"
deep in our soul a quiet amber knows it's you against you
it's the paradox that drives us on
it's a battle of will in the heat of attack
it's the passion that kills the victory is yours alone.”
Survivor, “Burning Heart”
This fucking wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to get sucked in by that device that sicced Lorne and Cadman on his universe. He wasn’t supposed to be sicced on their universe. Universe has a rotten sense of humor, and that’s why he is here anyway. At least he didn’t land himself in the middle of a damn galactic civil war. Not one that he’s aware of, anyway. Ah, hell.
No point in moping. Been in worse scrapes before, he tells himself. As long as no one’s shooting at him, things can’t be half-bad. Sure, there’s this little guy with hair sticking in all directions who doesn’t seem to speak anything resembling Basic and that lady of plasteel with the stern look and the uptight manner that painfully reminds him of Mor. Virina. She reminds him of Virina and every time he looks at the lady it fucking hurts like hell.
Makes him even kind of thankful that the one completing his welcome team is none other than Major Evan Lorne. Not like he’s particularly overjoyed to see Flyboy again but at least it’s a familiar face. He’s not above feeling glad about familiar faces in a galaxy thousands of light-years and maybe an entire dimension away from his own.
But not glad enough not to be pissed about being made to feel as if they’re interrogating him. They’re making a show of being good hosts and accepting him as their guest but he’s not stupid. He knows there are two heavily armed guards outside, or at least what passes as heavily armed around here. He’d seen one of the guards hand Lorne a sidearm that the Major strapped on in a thigh holster.
The tone plasteel lady keeps asking her questions in never changes to anything beyond professionalism and the frown of uneasiness never leaves Lorne’s face. They tell him they thought Cadman had verified that the device would only have enough juice left to get them back home and then fry completely. He tells them as it turned out Cadman was wrong. Turned also out he was in the wrong place at the wrong time when it proved it never actually stopped working.
Lorne reacts weirdly whenever anyone mentions Cadman’s name. Had a lover’s spat? Never got together with her after all? He almost smirks at the third time that Lorne’s frown deepens an entire inch when little fuzz guy mentions Cadman. He’s not thinking about wishing he could tell Virina about this. He’s not thinking about Virina and how one of them is on the wrong side of the universe. All through the interrogation. Debriefing. Whatever.
He’s still not thinking about her when the meeting finishes and plasteel lady orders Lorne to take care of their new “guest” and to find quarters to him. She doesn’t say “lock him up” but it’s clear that she means for him to stay wherever the hell Lorne puts him. He doesn’t even need to see Lorne gesturing to the guards outside the briefing room to follow them to know that.
Because he’s not thinking about Virina on the way to his new “quarters” and Lorne is still as tightlipped as the fish on Mon Calamari, he decides to be conversationally. Can only get better. He opts for heads on assault. “So where’s Cadman?”
Nothing from Lorne, at least for one or two steps. If the guards heard him, they don’t let it show. Maybe they’re of the same infantry as Cadman is. “In the infirmary.”
Well. That wasn’t what he expected. The tone Lorne said them in, not the actual words. So Lorne’s uptightness probably doesn’t have to do much with his unexpected arrival. In his head, he hears Virina snort and mutter “Well, what did you expect, trooper?” He ignores that. Like he ignores propriety. “What’s she doing there?”
If Lorne’s pissed by the question, he’s making a pretty good show of not showing it. His show of not showing that he’s worried isn’t half as good. “Being unconscious.”
Virina would probably tell him not to pry but he’s gotta know. He came to like Cadman, even if Virina didn’t. Or claimed she didn’t. “For how long has she been a lazy ass?”
“A week, give or take.” That proves his theory. ‘Course he knew he’d be right, it’s just nice to have it confirmed so easily. It’s also nice to know it’s not his fault that Lorne is much less of a talker than when he saw him last time, about a standard year ago. Hell if he knows why but it’s nice.
Lorne doesn’t look like he’s willing to share more than that. It’s only natural that this is his cue to ask Lorne how it happ… “So, Major, when did you think to introduce our newest guest to your boss?”
Who… “I did, sir.” That is Lorne’s superior? Or one of them, anyway, since plasteel lady obviously was one, too. He takes in the man… and his companion. The guy Lorne addresses with “sir” - weirdest thing ever, seeing Lorne of all people call someone that - seems to be of the harmless variety but there’s something about him. Something familiar.
The way he just narrowed his eyes at Lorne… that’s what one of his superior’s likes to do. The guy’s a soldier. Even with that hair. “Yeah, you introduced him to Eliza… Dr. Weir.”
The second guy - pretty damn straight not a soldier - opens his mouth but Lorne ignores him. He’d have done the same. “That’s because you were off-world until a few minutes ago, sir. And not supposed to come back for the next two days, if I may remind you.” This is actually starting to be fun. Almost enough to make him stop not thinking of Virina so hard.
Mostly, that’s because just for a very short moment, Lorne’s superior looks sheepish. “Trade negotiations with the Perseii went better than expected.” There’s a story behind this. Good one, judging from the uncomfortable look Lorne’s superior and that other guy share. Other guy opens his mouth again but is beat to it by Lorne’s superior. “Anyway. I got a preliminary briefing by Dr. Weir. I’m Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. You must be Major Delvin Sandwalker.”
He nods. “Yes, sir.”
“And you got here by the same way Lorne and Cadman disappeared to your end of the universe a couple of months ago?” Again, he feels as if he’s being interrogated. He doesn’t mind it much this time. It’s not like he isn’t used to superior officers trying to skin him alive with their thoroughness.
He nods again. “Correct, sir.”
Sheppard opens his mouth again but Other Guy seems to think he’s got a say in this, too. “Dr. Zelenka, John! Elizabeth said Zelenka is going to be in the lead for this case. I demand you speak to her again because that scatterbrained Czech is certainly not qualified to deal with something as complicated as Ancient technology that probably connects dimensions or universes, and in a whole different way from a quantum mirror. I told her we should have kept researching it because I always knew that Cadman overlooked a few crucial things in its workings because for God’s sake, she’s a Marine and the only reason she could get this thing to work was probably…”
Not good. Look on Lorne’s face is not good. Diversionary tactics always work. “Who the kark is that?”
Still the same look. For about another second. “Dr. Rodney Mckay. You’re going to love him. We all do.” Just like he said. Always works. Another notch on his barrel in the ongoing argument with Virina.
“Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary holding Cadman’s hand and spouting sentimental nonsense or something, Lorne?” Dr. Rodney McKay doesn’t seem to be a very smart guy. No one in his right mind would have said something like that to a guy with a girlfriend in the infirmary. He’d be dead now if it had been about Virina.
Seems as if he won’t make it much longer with Lorne on the trigger, either. “Watch it, Rodney.”
“Or what?” He’s pretty sure he doesn’t want that guy on the team trying to solve the mystery of how to get him home again.
“Or I’ll allow Major Sandwalker here to stop playing nice with others if “others” pertains to you.” Look at that. Lorne does know how to entertain a guest.
“Major.” Well. Sheppard doesn’t. Obviously, he doesn’t even know how to entertain his own junior officers.
“Sir.” But he knows how to silence them with just one word. That’s almost equally impressive.
Sheppard just nods at Lorne’s acknowledgement and reminds of one of his own Lieutenant Colonels stronger with every minute. That’s a good thing. Makes following his orders easier. Lieutenant Colonel Selkayim’s the only flag officer whose orders he never questions. “Dr. Weir told me she assigned Dr. Zelenka to work on this but I’m sure no one would mind your input, Rodney. Gentlemen?”
Lorne next to him nods grudgingly and he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to take someone insulting Virina like that in stride. Not even if Virina were confined to a bed in sick bay and could defend herself. He decides to follow Lorne’s example, just for once. Less hustle if he does. “It’s going to be a pleasure working with you, doc.”
Also the added bonus of seeing that McKay guy first bluster with flattered pride and then implode when he realizes the barely veiled sarcasm. Lorne was right. He’s going to love working with McKay. There’s something to guys with overinflated egos. Most of all when someone constantly gets the chance to trim them back to room size. Sheppard takes charge again. “Alright, Lorne. Get Major Sandwalker here settled in and then get me a draft of the adjusted schedules.”
Lorne simply nods. “Yes, sir.”
McKay simply protests. “What about…”
Sheppard simply ignores it. “Locker room, Rodney. And be nice to Zelenka when you wrestle your way in on this case.”
“But…” McKay’s like a nek with a bone, has to give him that.
“If you aren’t, you’ll have to talk to Elizabeth about this.” Sheppard’s sneaky. McKay’s momentarily blanching shows how much that is smarter than obstinacy.
McKay probably hasn’t learned a thing, and he wonders just how long he’s been working with Sheppard. “You really like to…”
“Get going.” Sheppard just starts walking again and drags McKay with him, leaving him behind with Lorne and the two guards who don’t even need storm troopers’ helmets to appear stoic. Good training. Probably Lorne’s doing. He’ll probably compliment the other man on that.
Actually, he’s tempted to do it even on the walk to the quarters they assigned to him but something in Lorne’s attitude makes it clear he’s not in the mood for small talk so he keeps his mouth shut all the way to the blast door that opens when Lorne swipes his hand over a little box next to it. It reveals a small room with a bed and a fairly big window. It’s open and there’s a breeze wafting in. Could have been worse.
Lorne accompanies him into the room, with the guards waiting in front of the door again. He hands him a device that he explains to be a radio and explains a couple other things about safety protocols, schedules and a brief look into the city’s command structure. He ends it with, “So… now that we’re done here… please excuse me, Major, I’ll have to go and hold Cadman’s hand and spout sentimental nonsense now.”
Whatever happened to Cadman, it must have been fucked up enough that it took with it a good portion of Lorne’s professionalism. He knows the feeling much too well. “Just tell her to get her lazy ass up and do a couple push-ups. Us grunts usually respond to that pretty well.”
A humorless grin crosses Lorne’s face. “Wish it were that easy.”
“Yeah, me too.” Nothing to add here.
That’s probably the reason why Lorne doesn’t comment on it. He just nods and says, “Don’t break the doc. With Laura out of commission, he’s your best chance at getting home. Actually, even with Laura not out of commission he’d be your best shot.”
Probably. But that’s not the point. The point is that Lorne took his advice and he and Cadman still ended up with being fucked thoroughly by the universe. Makes him feel kind of guilty. He offers the best he has. “For what it’s worth: it’s better like that than…”
“I know that.” Whoa. He got it, he got it. No reason to get pissed, Flyboy. “Which is why I’ll excuse myself now.” Lorne knows that. It’s almost pitiful how he still tries to keep up a façade, even when things are not even half okay. “Anyway… if you need a break from the science squad… ask for Ronon Dex or Teyla Emmagan.”
Whoever that is. He’s not even in the mood to get to know them. Getting to know new people just isn’t his favorite kind of thing to do. Checking on those he knows is easier and makes more sense. “Or I could ask for directions for the infirmary.”
Lorne nods, nothing in his face betraying if he’d appreciate it or not. Just as well. “Or that.”
So. That’s it then. Okay, except one thing. He runs a hand over his hand. “Guess you heard it too often now so I’m not gonna tell you that she’s gonna make it, Lorne. ”
The other Major contemplates that for a moment. Then he nods again. Looks like he accepted it. “Guess you’re gonna hear it too often as long as you’re here so I’m not gonna tell you we’re gonna get you home, Sandwalker.”
He contemplates that. Yeah. That makes sense. It’s even appreciated. He nods. “Fair enough.”
That’s everything that needed to be said. It’s to Lorne’s credit that he recognized that himself and takes off to leave him to his own devices. While Lorne goes to visit Cadman and tell her to get the fuck up and running again, he’s left with his thoughts about Virina and his men and suddenly, it’s impossible not to think about her and them. It’s impossible not to be shit scared about his fate being completely in the hand of others. So it’s a good thing he learned to do the impossible in his year with the Rebel Alliance. Can’t be so hard doing that here, as well, after all.