How to Write An Inspirational Historical--by eHarlequin Books

[gehayi]

Granted, I would never write this, as I loathe inspirational fiction. Nevertheless, this seems peculiar.

Steeple Hill Inspired HistoricalFeaturing engaging stories of romance, adventure and faith, this new line of inspirational stories is rich with historical details and offers more complex stories that readers crave. Love Inspired Historical

Comments

[sp23]

Father (when used to describe a religious official)

Uh, wut?

Wow, these people seriously have their panties in a twist, don't they?

[gehayi]

Yeah, I couldn't believe that one either. There really is a strong anti-Catholic bias there. Geez, guys, you broke with the Catholic church four hundred years ago. Get OVER it.

[sp23]

I don't understand how you can write "historical" fiction and ignore the Catholic Church or its place in history.

I don't see how even the most pious person could stand to read this kind of treacly crap. Hell, I couldn't even stand the virginal virgins of Barbara Cartland's stories.

[sp23]

You know, reading through that list again, I just gotta ask. Who the fuck came up with that list? Cotton Mather?

[lee_rowan]

And, of course, there were NO QUEERS before WWII!!

For the love of Mike-- Who was Mike? Why is loving him so wrong?

Gawd, this brings back the "Condemned" book list in my mother's monthly copy of her Catholic mind-control magazine. And the "Legion of Decency." A pity, since I'm in favor of decency, and I think "pee" and "poop" are ridiculous words for anyone over the age of, say, 8. Guess it's not Howdy Doody time anymore, either.

Back to the 19th Century, boys and girls!!

What a load of damned, dern, shucky-darn, half-composted BULLSHIT.

[gehayi]

Well, you know, gays aren't specifically banned. Or lesbians. Or bisexuals. And the words fuck, shit, bullshit and piss aren't banned either.

So I'm thinking that someone needs to submit a story with all non-Christian characters. Like Jews in China or something. Or all Muslims. Or all Mayans. And no one converts. And the rules are followed...though because non-European cultures have different customs than Western ones, a lot of the rules simply don't apply at all.

*smiles wickedly*

[lee_rowan]

Good idea, but you might want a second-chance publisher lined up to submit to...

It might be fun to submit all kinds of "unsuitable" stories under unsuitable pen names like Priscilla Passion, but who's got time for it? On the other hand, if you want to paper your bathroom with rejection slips, that could be a good source.

No ballroom dancing! Christ, the church ladies really are mobilizing for an attack on reproduction, aren't they? Makes me think of S.Palin and her unweed teen-mom daughter. Cause we ALL know that keeping kids ignorant keeps 'em chaste, right?

"Steeple Hill..." Dear ghod. "Mary had always had great admiration for the handome young curate at The Church Which Could Not Be Named. She particularly admired his well-constructed steeple..."

It's an auto-parody. I can see it now -- these books will be read aloud wherever lusty women gather, and they will inspire belly laughs.

[gehayi]

Oh, I wouldn't really waste my time with them. But I might try to come up with something that would be fun both to write and to read and sell it elsewhere. Besides the two books I'm working on, that is.

[lareinenoire]

I have to join you in the stunned circle.

How on earth do you write about the medieval period without saints? Or referring to priests as 'Father'? Or illegitimate children in any period?

::boggles::

[gehayi]

I've seen versions of this with bad manuscripts. The priests are rewritten as ministers or pastors.

Yes, It completely sucks.

I hope that a lot of people talk about this. When I say that the romance genre is dragging its heels about coming into the 21st century--hell, even the 20th century!--this is what I mean. No other genre asks for anything like this.

[lareinenoire]

The priests are rewritten as ministers or pastors.

But...but...I have no words.

No other genre asks for anything like this.

No, I can't even imagine that! Especially when they're actually trying to call them historical! I'm appalled.

[lee_rowan]

They ought to be calling it "revisionist."

[minkhollow]

...I love how 'Jesus' doesn't get a specified context. When I know they wouldn't approve of its use in my "panel of me going 'Jesus'" tag. Then again, most of their other restrictions don't make much sense.
Also, I'm hard pressed to think of any book that makes a major point of the excretory system (possible exception: Lancre castle's garderobe).

AND ANOTHER THING: If those good Christians aren't drinking, and they're from an era before reliably clean water/non-moldy bread... they should be dying of cholera within a few pages. Short book!

[kriz1818]

I was going to say something about how they don't realize that a good quarter of Americans are Catholic ... but then I stopped to wonder, would the average Catholic even read this kind of stuff anyway?

[sp23]

Listen, I'd bet even the average Protestant wouldn't read that crap.

[lee_rowan]

I don't think the average grownup would read this kind of stuff. There's no more repressed group than mealy-mouthed holy rollers--it's no coincidence that half the pervs busted in the press were either homophobes or pulpit-pounders.

[sp23]

Or politicians. ;-)