6 - [Katekiyo Hitman Reborn] Märchen
Rating: Gen.
Fandom: Reborn!
Notes: CRACK. PURE CRACK. Bastardization of the Sleeping Beauty tale. For deidarakun's request: "Mukuro, Chrome, short short version of a fairy tale".
Sometimes, when Chrome couldn't fall asleep, Mukuro steps out from the back of her mind to help her by telling her stories. He makes a ghostly appearance at the foot of her bed and tells her something in soft, dulcet tones.
Once upon a time... there was a very happy and handsome young prince named Tsunayoshi Sawada-kun.
"Um. You mean Boss, Mukuro-sama?"
Aa. And he was the fairest prince in all of Vongola, in all of Mafialand. The Queen and King were very happy to have a small child like him, so moe and wonderful, like a trap.
"A-a trap? Boss is a... trap?"
I'd imagine he must've been such a delicate, lovely, inviting piece of trap when he was young; his face always says, "come hither" to anyone who sees it.
"I... I see."
Anyway, where was I... ah, yes. Our prince. Now, when the prince was a young, and evil witch-queen named Hibarin came over the kingdom to lay a curse upon the sweet Tsuna-fish's head.
"...where did the e-evil witch-queen came from?"
Why, from the kingdom of Cavallone, of course. He is very upset because his husband, the dear King Cavallone with a turtle, couldn't beget him any beautiful children like our dear prince.
"...."
So he came to storm the castle of the Sawada and laid a curse upon the beautiful boy, who was innocently being fed strawberries and cream at the time by his trusted servant, Gokudera (whom I don't like at all).
"By the time that boy turns fifteen, he'll prick his finger on a rose and then die," the evil witch-queen said, smirking. "Alternatively, if that doesn't work, I'll just show up to bite him to death and everyone else who gets in my way."
"But if the witch-queen bit him to death, wouldn't he have no more children to steal?"
He'll only give him a hickey, my cute Chrome.
"A-ah. I see."
The whole kingdom was horrified, of course, and as soon as the evil witch-queen departed they all started to wail and plan the death of the Cavallones. But thankfully, the three fairies of Varia came in to help: Xanflora, Belfauna, and Squanoweather .
"Um, Mukuro-sama, their names are--"
The three fairies then gave a counter-blessing to the evil-witch queen's spell: they all said that the young prince Tsuna-fish wll not die, but fall into a deep sleep instead; and the spell can only be broken with the legendary Pineapple-prince's kiss...
At these words Mukuro sprouted imaginary wings. Chrome had to rub her eyes twice to make sure she wasn't just tired and imagining things. Perhaps she fell asleep already.
...and after that, the Varia fairies departed as well, with Squanoweather being heard to put some kind of impotency curse on the King Cavallone to get him back for cheating or something like that.
Nope, she was still awake.
So the prince grew very very handsome, and very very dashing. And his parents did their best to keep him away from all kinds of roses and from the wife of King Cavallone, who was actually nice to the prince. Everyone in the kingdom hoped that the curse would never come true.
But one day...
"But..?"
One day, Prince Tsuna-fish's friend, Lord Longchamp, was too enthusiastic for him to learn gardening, which was what his current girlfriend was into... and tragically, he forgot that the prince was not to be allowed near roses. He was teaching him how to plant them, and take care of them, and then...
...the prince's strict tutor, Reborn, caught him goofing off with Lord Longchamp. In his shock and horror, he accidentally fell off a conveniently open window and fell from the castle.
"...t-that's very sad, Mukuro-sama. Why did you kill Boss in this story?"
I neglected to mention that the Pineapple-prince was just as conveniently bathing on the nearby well below that window.
"Ah!"
So therefore, the prince fell into the very safe hands of the Pineapple-prince, who was there because he was stalking the great prince Tsuna-fish that he's heard so much.
"But why was he bathing near the... well?"
Because his loyal and faithful dog and soldier were playing near the plumbing and made the pipes in his house explode. It was a very tragic story.
In any case, the prince fell into his hands and the Pineaple-prince said, "Oh, prince Tsuna-fish, I love you so!"
Mukuro's wings flapped ecstatically.
...and so they rode off on a very gallant horse in a shade of vibrant pineapple into the sunset, despite the prince's protests and screams of "help!" and "RAPE!"
"But... didn't you say the Pineapple-prince was bathing?"
Why yes, I did.
"Then... when he rode into the sunset with Boss, did he have clothes on?"
Ah, but it was such a stroke of good luck and love for the Pineapple-prince, my cute Chrome, that he neglected to put some clothes on before riding off with the prince.
"Mu-Mukuro-sama!"
And so both of them lived happily ever after, except for the Vongolans, who were distraught that their prince was carried off by the Pineapple-prince, because they lost bets to some people that the prince will be taken by Queen Hibarin; and the evil Queen Hibarin, of course, who absolutely did not get any piece of prince Tsuna-fish, because the Pineapple-prince was far more awesome than he is. The end.
"Um... what about King Cavallone?"
Oh. Him. I don't know what happened to him. Got distracted by his turtle and certain long-haired fairies, I suppose.
"Ah... I see."
Did you like my story?
"Well, it's very nice, but..."
I know of another one, my cute Chrome! Have I ever told you about Prince Yamamoto Montague and Princess Gokudera Capulet?
"Ah... I think I--"
They were two lovers, both alike in dignity...
Fandom: Reborn!
Notes: CRACK. PURE CRACK. Bastardization of the Sleeping Beauty tale. For deidarakun's request: "Mukuro, Chrome, short short version of a fairy tale".
Sometimes, when Chrome couldn't fall asleep, Mukuro steps out from the back of her mind to help her by telling her stories. He makes a ghostly appearance at the foot of her bed and tells her something in soft, dulcet tones.
Once upon a time... there was a very happy and handsome young prince named Tsunayoshi Sawada-kun.
"Um. You mean Boss, Mukuro-sama?"
Aa. And he was the fairest prince in all of Vongola, in all of Mafialand. The Queen and King were very happy to have a small child like him, so moe and wonderful, like a trap.
"A-a trap? Boss is a... trap?"
I'd imagine he must've been such a delicate, lovely, inviting piece of trap when he was young; his face always says, "come hither" to anyone who sees it.
"I... I see."
Anyway, where was I... ah, yes. Our prince. Now, when the prince was a young, and evil witch-queen named Hibarin came over the kingdom to lay a curse upon the sweet Tsuna-fish's head.
"...where did the e-evil witch-queen came from?"
Why, from the kingdom of Cavallone, of course. He is very upset because his husband, the dear King Cavallone with a turtle, couldn't beget him any beautiful children like our dear prince.
"...."
So he came to storm the castle of the Sawada and laid a curse upon the beautiful boy, who was innocently being fed strawberries and cream at the time by his trusted servant, Gokudera (whom I don't like at all).
"By the time that boy turns fifteen, he'll prick his finger on a rose and then die," the evil witch-queen said, smirking. "Alternatively, if that doesn't work, I'll just show up to bite him to death and everyone else who gets in my way."
"But if the witch-queen bit him to death, wouldn't he have no more children to steal?"
He'll only give him a hickey, my cute Chrome.
"A-ah. I see."
The whole kingdom was horrified, of course, and as soon as the evil witch-queen departed they all started to wail and plan the death of the Cavallones. But thankfully, the three fairies of Varia came in to help: Xanflora, Belfauna, and Squanoweather .
"Um, Mukuro-sama, their names are--"
The three fairies then gave a counter-blessing to the evil-witch queen's spell: they all said that the young prince Tsuna-fish wll not die, but fall into a deep sleep instead; and the spell can only be broken with the legendary Pineapple-prince's kiss...
At these words Mukuro sprouted imaginary wings. Chrome had to rub her eyes twice to make sure she wasn't just tired and imagining things. Perhaps she fell asleep already.
...and after that, the Varia fairies departed as well, with Squanoweather being heard to put some kind of impotency curse on the King Cavallone to get him back for cheating or something like that.
Nope, she was still awake.
So the prince grew very very handsome, and very very dashing. And his parents did their best to keep him away from all kinds of roses and from the wife of King Cavallone, who was actually nice to the prince. Everyone in the kingdom hoped that the curse would never come true.
But one day...
"But..?"
One day, Prince Tsuna-fish's friend, Lord Longchamp, was too enthusiastic for him to learn gardening, which was what his current girlfriend was into... and tragically, he forgot that the prince was not to be allowed near roses. He was teaching him how to plant them, and take care of them, and then...
...the prince's strict tutor, Reborn, caught him goofing off with Lord Longchamp. In his shock and horror, he accidentally fell off a conveniently open window and fell from the castle.
"...t-that's very sad, Mukuro-sama. Why did you kill Boss in this story?"
I neglected to mention that the Pineapple-prince was just as conveniently bathing on the nearby well below that window.
"Ah!"
So therefore, the prince fell into the very safe hands of the Pineapple-prince, who was there because he was stalking the great prince Tsuna-fish that he's heard so much.
"But why was he bathing near the... well?"
Because his loyal and faithful dog and soldier were playing near the plumbing and made the pipes in his house explode. It was a very tragic story.
In any case, the prince fell into his hands and the Pineaple-prince said, "Oh, prince Tsuna-fish, I love you so!"
Mukuro's wings flapped ecstatically.
...and so they rode off on a very gallant horse in a shade of vibrant pineapple into the sunset, despite the prince's protests and screams of "help!" and "RAPE!"
"But... didn't you say the Pineapple-prince was bathing?"
Why yes, I did.
"Then... when he rode into the sunset with Boss, did he have clothes on?"
Ah, but it was such a stroke of good luck and love for the Pineapple-prince, my cute Chrome, that he neglected to put some clothes on before riding off with the prince.
"Mu-Mukuro-sama!"
And so both of them lived happily ever after, except for the Vongolans, who were distraught that their prince was carried off by the Pineapple-prince, because they lost bets to some people that the prince will be taken by Queen Hibarin; and the evil Queen Hibarin, of course, who absolutely did not get any piece of prince Tsuna-fish, because the Pineapple-prince was far more awesome than he is. The end.
"Um... what about King Cavallone?"
Oh. Him. I don't know what happened to him. Got distracted by his turtle and certain long-haired fairies, I suppose.
"Ah... I see."
Did you like my story?
"Well, it's very nice, but..."
I know of another one, my cute Chrome! Have I ever told you about Prince Yamamoto Montague and Princess Gokudera Capulet?
"Ah... I think I--"
They were two lovers, both alike in dignity...