[ficlet(s)] icarus wings (9/10)
Title: icarus wings
Pairing: GTOP
Genre: romance, angst
Rating: PG
Warnings: swearing
Author: gdgdbaby
Parts: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10
Summary: Collection of PWPs & character sketches revolving around the GTOP pairing.
Notes: The morning after. And then some. Cross posted at bigbang_fanfic & g_top .
The incessant pounding in his head trumps the overwhelming need for more sleep.
Old makeup has gummed up over-night and thoroughly cements his right eyelid shut, so he cracks his left open to see a room that is not his own. It’s still dark outside, four, maybe five in the morning, and the hangover’s making dynamite explode behind his eyes at every slight shift.
Then it’s like a train hits him, or maybe two at the same time because he realizes first that his ass is sore as hell and then the previous night’s events are unfolding-
He sits up abruptly, ignoring the sharp twanging throbs in his lower back.
Fuck, he’d begged for it like a goddamn girl. He pounds the back of his head against the headboard, once, twice. Then he remembers he was doing other sorts of pounding against that headboard hours before and disgusted, jumps off the empty bed.
His first try at walking has him immediately sinking onto the mattress again. He makes another valiant attempt, but only gets two steps away before slumping down next to Seunghyun’s bedside table. Jiyong looks up at the ceiling in frustration, sweeps his hands across the fluffy carpet of the bedroom floor. Pain is still shooting up his spine, and the world spins in vertigo. His gaze washes over the little figurines and canvases that litter the room, pauses at the clothes strewn all over the ground, ends at the wooden cabinet he’s leaning against.
He notices two small tablets on a napkin, painkillers no doubt, and a small glass of water. There’s a bright blue sticky-note stuck to the glass: take ‘em, i hear they make the pain go away scrawled hastily, with a :) tacked at the end.
It’s a little romantic and very Seunghyun, but all he can see right now is that Seunghyun isn’t here to explain shit to him and the dried semen on the back of his thighs is pulling at his skin in odd ways. It's all Seungho’s fault for giving him the damn condom and lube - Jiyong groans into his palms. No, it's his own fault for going out in the first place, his fault for being weak, stupid, drunk and willing. It's always his fault.
The meds kick in after a while; he trudges out the door and into the bathroom, determined to scrub his skin seven ways till Sunday.
--
The shower’s running and his bedroom is empty when Seunghyun returns. Youngbae tells him that he’s been in there for quite a while, and the crazy notion comes into his head that perhaps Jiyong’s drowned himself.
Then he realizes he’s being stupid, because if he listens closely he can hear Jiyong rapping the house down through the loud spray of water. The verse reminds him that they’re supposed to have dance practice for Japan promotions today, and he feels like a complete douche all over again.
Maybe, though, just maybe, Jiyong’s okay with everything, because for Christ’s sake, he’s getting his flow on in the shower, isn’t he?
Seunghyun strides towards the bathroom before Daesung or Youngbae or Seungri can stop him and walks in casually without knocking. Jiyong’s just stepping out, but the mortified, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look he gives him and the jittery way he grabs for the towel on the ledge speak volumes - too late, Seunghyun knows that everything’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
“Leave.” That’s the only word that he utters, but it hits Seunghyun with the force of a battering ram. Jiyong’s slipped into serious leader persona while also looking completely scared; Seunghyun backs out of the steam-filled room and goes to sit down at the breakfast table, stunned.
--
He carefully avoids Seunghyun’s gaze, putting on the old, familiar mask of focused workaholic. They run through sajangnim’s plans for the next few weeks and Jiyong’s on autopilot, unwanted thoughts inevitably filling his mind.
If he’s brutally honest with himself, he can admit that it’s not really the "being gay or bisexual" part that’s ticking him off, but the fact that Seunghyun is never serious about these things. Call him oversensitive, but with the overflowing angst of this situation, he could probably write two or three songs.
For all he knows, Seunghyun might be fucking three other guys on the side. That this even bothers him makes Jiyong want to strangle someone.
He just wants some peace of mind. It’s not like he’s asking for a wedding ring, goddamn.
--
Even if Seunghyun was blind and deaf, he’d still notice the way that Jiyong’s shies away from him like the bubonic plague.
The last straw comes when Seunghyun loses his balance during dance rehearsal and Jiyong bends over backwards to prevent himself from touching him.
“For God’s sake, what is your problem?” he bites out bitterly. He thinks it’s fitting that these are the first words he’s spoken to him outside of work in days.
“You,” comes the bitchy response, and Jiyong turns away to wipe his sweat off with a towel.
Jesus fucking Christ. “Yeah,” he mutters for anyone that happens to care, and shuffles out the door, slamming it behind him.
How the hell is he supposed to fix anything if they aren’t even on speaking terms?
Seunghyun stops his furious pace down the corridor and hits the wall, pissed beyond belief. It all comes back to this, that Jiyong does everything by himself and talks to nothing and no one, at least not about the things that are really hurting him, that are really worth discussing.
Even Youngbae has trouble with it, and Seunghyun’s too lazy to do the math to remember how long GDYB have been friends.
He’s dangerous in moods like these, but he can’t be bothered to stop himself from getting into them anyway. Jiyong is a masochist, and if he can’t see what’s in front of his face, Seunghyun's somehow going to make him see.
For better or for worse.
A/N: ok wtf, how come stupid angry!sex part 8 hella drained me or something? andwaeeeee ;A; writer's block, go diaf. bahhh humbug. hope the couple of pov changes weren't too confusing .____.
Pairing: GTOP
Genre: romance, angst
Rating: PG
Warnings: swearing
Author: gdgdbaby
Parts: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10
Summary: Collection of PWPs & character sketches revolving around the GTOP pairing.
Notes: The morning after. And then some. Cross posted at bigbang_fanfic & g_top .
The incessant pounding in his head trumps the overwhelming need for more sleep.
Old makeup has gummed up over-night and thoroughly cements his right eyelid shut, so he cracks his left open to see a room that is not his own. It’s still dark outside, four, maybe five in the morning, and the hangover’s making dynamite explode behind his eyes at every slight shift.
Then it’s like a train hits him, or maybe two at the same time because he realizes first that his ass is sore as hell and then the previous night’s events are unfolding-
He sits up abruptly, ignoring the sharp twanging throbs in his lower back.
Fuck, he’d begged for it like a goddamn girl. He pounds the back of his head against the headboard, once, twice. Then he remembers he was doing other sorts of pounding against that headboard hours before and disgusted, jumps off the empty bed.
His first try at walking has him immediately sinking onto the mattress again. He makes another valiant attempt, but only gets two steps away before slumping down next to Seunghyun’s bedside table. Jiyong looks up at the ceiling in frustration, sweeps his hands across the fluffy carpet of the bedroom floor. Pain is still shooting up his spine, and the world spins in vertigo. His gaze washes over the little figurines and canvases that litter the room, pauses at the clothes strewn all over the ground, ends at the wooden cabinet he’s leaning against.
He notices two small tablets on a napkin, painkillers no doubt, and a small glass of water. There’s a bright blue sticky-note stuck to the glass: take ‘em, i hear they make the pain go away scrawled hastily, with a :) tacked at the end.
It’s a little romantic and very Seunghyun, but all he can see right now is that Seunghyun isn’t here to explain shit to him and the dried semen on the back of his thighs is pulling at his skin in odd ways. It's all Seungho’s fault for giving him the damn condom and lube - Jiyong groans into his palms. No, it's his own fault for going out in the first place, his fault for being weak, stupid, drunk and willing. It's always his fault.
The meds kick in after a while; he trudges out the door and into the bathroom, determined to scrub his skin seven ways till Sunday.
--
The shower’s running and his bedroom is empty when Seunghyun returns. Youngbae tells him that he’s been in there for quite a while, and the crazy notion comes into his head that perhaps Jiyong’s drowned himself.
Then he realizes he’s being stupid, because if he listens closely he can hear Jiyong rapping the house down through the loud spray of water. The verse reminds him that they’re supposed to have dance practice for Japan promotions today, and he feels like a complete douche all over again.
Maybe, though, just maybe, Jiyong’s okay with everything, because for Christ’s sake, he’s getting his flow on in the shower, isn’t he?
Seunghyun strides towards the bathroom before Daesung or Youngbae or Seungri can stop him and walks in casually without knocking. Jiyong’s just stepping out, but the mortified, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look he gives him and the jittery way he grabs for the towel on the ledge speak volumes - too late, Seunghyun knows that everything’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
“Leave.” That’s the only word that he utters, but it hits Seunghyun with the force of a battering ram. Jiyong’s slipped into serious leader persona while also looking completely scared; Seunghyun backs out of the steam-filled room and goes to sit down at the breakfast table, stunned.
--
He carefully avoids Seunghyun’s gaze, putting on the old, familiar mask of focused workaholic. They run through sajangnim’s plans for the next few weeks and Jiyong’s on autopilot, unwanted thoughts inevitably filling his mind.
If he’s brutally honest with himself, he can admit that it’s not really the "being gay or bisexual" part that’s ticking him off, but the fact that Seunghyun is never serious about these things. Call him oversensitive, but with the overflowing angst of this situation, he could probably write two or three songs.
For all he knows, Seunghyun might be fucking three other guys on the side. That this even bothers him makes Jiyong want to strangle someone.
He just wants some peace of mind. It’s not like he’s asking for a wedding ring, goddamn.
--
Even if Seunghyun was blind and deaf, he’d still notice the way that Jiyong’s shies away from him like the bubonic plague.
The last straw comes when Seunghyun loses his balance during dance rehearsal and Jiyong bends over backwards to prevent himself from touching him.
“For God’s sake, what is your problem?” he bites out bitterly. He thinks it’s fitting that these are the first words he’s spoken to him outside of work in days.
“You,” comes the bitchy response, and Jiyong turns away to wipe his sweat off with a towel.
Jesus fucking Christ. “Yeah,” he mutters for anyone that happens to care, and shuffles out the door, slamming it behind him.
How the hell is he supposed to fix anything if they aren’t even on speaking terms?
Seunghyun stops his furious pace down the corridor and hits the wall, pissed beyond belief. It all comes back to this, that Jiyong does everything by himself and talks to nothing and no one, at least not about the things that are really hurting him, that are really worth discussing.
Even Youngbae has trouble with it, and Seunghyun’s too lazy to do the math to remember how long GDYB have been friends.
He’s dangerous in moods like these, but he can’t be bothered to stop himself from getting into them anyway. Jiyong is a masochist, and if he can’t see what’s in front of his face, Seunghyun's somehow going to make him see.
For better or for worse.
A/N: ok wtf, how come stupid angry!sex part 8 hella drained me or something? andwaeeeee ;A; writer's block, go diaf. bahhh humbug. hope the couple of pov changes weren't too confusing .____.