Oh wow, I'm so glad that Peter-as-an-okay-guy got through. He's an ass in a lot of what I write and occasionally insufferable, but I meant for him to be very human in this chapter. So glad that came through right!
Yeah, that's something of a bait and switch - set the reader up for warm fuzzies and then tell how Peter really wants a good, hard fucking. :)
This section was probably one of the most...accurate emotional human things you've ever written - its amazing, gets me every time. Thank you so much! That's a really intense compliment!
I love how...stupid Peter is. He thinks one big cry, one suicidal attempt at heroism and another brainless act of heroism constitutes....healing and getting over his brother. I just wanna tap his shoulder and say, "Peter, it doesn't work that way. You're gonna cry lots."Yeah. In canon, he gets away with this seamlessly and I just can't swallow it, as I think you know. He's not that strong. No one is. And so I recast it as him thinking he's that strong, and going around in a cloud of denial -
( ... )
"He pushed Sylar away roughly, new tears joining the old as he fled the guy's apartment. I'm fucking things up. I am using him now. It's not fair. He's not a fucking sex toy. He has feelings. I have feelings. Have I been using him all this time? Is any of this even real?" -- the combination of Owch and Aww! I have no idea which one wins. Does Peter really (when he's not emotionally a mess) think that he might be using Sylar as a convenience
( ... )
Does Peter really (when he's not emotionally a mess) think that he might be using Sylar as a convenience? No. It ran through his mind early on in their relationship in both directions - both Peter worrying that he was using Sylar and Peter worrying that Sylar was using him. But he's over that by now, except, as you say, when he's emotionally a mess. He's feeling all this grief and he's taking it out on Sylar, letting Sylar get caught up in the mixed signals, trying to use Sylar's affection (and perhaps sex) as a distraction from how he's feeling.
“Nathan's memories reminding him of the many times when the older sibling had played catch with his kid brother in the back yard, using the time and the diverting physical activity to have meaningful conversations.” - See, this is why I can’t hate Nathan. He was an awesome older brother, practically a dad to Peter. Nathan may have been a non-existent father to Monty and Simon (personally I think, well, being married to a lady who you don’t like and having her kids, being stuck with her notwithstanding. I think Nathan felt he’d already done ‘dad’ duty with Peter and, yeah, he’s probably paranoid of failure given that he knows he’s like Arthur and he’d hate to inflict himself on his kids like Arthur did to him…assuming Nathan gave it that much thought at all. I think its more a subconscious thing). I can see Peter just eating that time up with Nathan because that age difference has to be rough. Peter gets to be “cool” like Nathan for a bit
( ... )
They reiterate so many times in canon that Peter loves and adores Nathan, that I can't help but imagine Nathan with some good traits. They mention things he did, going out of his way to be there for Peter when Peter was a kid, and given that Nathan had to be a late teen or in his early 20s, that says a lot of good things about him. That's the most distracted period of a guy's life, when his mind would normally be on girls. Makes me wonder if maybe the 'loss' of Meredith and his unborn maybe shocked Nathan into spending a lot more time with Peter?
“Oh, Lord. You're … certainly going for the jugular there, aren't you?” - I liked your original analogy better (I think that is my personal preference speaking), but this one makes more sense…if that…makes sense.What *was* my original word choice? 'going for the big guns'? 'bringing out the heavy artillery'? I don't recall. I think it was military and I wanted a more visceral, low blow type of phrase
( ... )
Claire was 6 months old? 18 months? She was born at the time of the fire. I find it odd Meredith didn't go to Nathan for help after the fire, especially if people were after her. Its very sad either way. I love that explanation - it would not surprise me. That would be horribly jarring to lose the people he *did* care about and get stuck with ones (Heidi, Simon and Monty) he sort of...didn't care about. I can see his outlet being needy Peter. I wonder how old Peter would have been then...That must have been before Nathan was a lawyer or in school, but after the Navy. They did not leave much room for Meredith...(How the hell did he end up in Texas anyway, you know? he sure as hell didn't meet her in college...although he didn't go to the school he said he did, courtesy of Sylar, clairsentience and some cufflinks
( ... )
This is a great scene to end the chapter on. You have Peter being upset, then Sylar being upset, Peter not knowing what he wants, Sylar not knowing how to help, they’re at an impasse then…Sylar gets it and he “fixes” Peter (with his cock), but he has a moment of understanding and he knows just what to do because he’s been there/is there and he knows what he wants. It is a great representation of those frustrating human emotions/needs where you want something but you don’t want it given to you, you don’t want to take it, you don’t want to ask for it, so you don’t know how to go about it. And sometimes the answer is just let someone else drive for you, like here. Sylar’s dialogue was sooo great for that. It’s sexy on the outside, at first glance. But then it’s a double-edged sword because it’s emotionally…healing in a very strange way
( ... )
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Yeah, that's something of a bait and switch - set the reader up for warm fuzzies and then tell how Peter really wants a good, hard fucking. :)
This section was probably one of the most...accurate emotional human things you've ever written - its amazing, gets me every time.
Thank you so much! That's a really intense compliment!
I love how...stupid Peter is. He thinks one big cry, one suicidal attempt at heroism and another brainless act of heroism constitutes....healing and getting over his brother. I just wanna tap his shoulder and say, "Peter, it doesn't work that way. You're gonna cry lots."Yeah. In canon, he gets away with this seamlessly and I just can't swallow it, as I think you know. He's not that strong. No one is. And so I recast it as him thinking he's that strong, and going around in a cloud of denial - ( ... )
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No. It ran through his mind early on in their relationship in both directions - both Peter worrying that he was using Sylar and Peter worrying that Sylar was using him. But he's over that by now, except, as you say, when he's emotionally a mess. He's feeling all this grief and he's taking it out on Sylar, letting Sylar get caught up in the mixed signals, trying to use Sylar's affection (and perhaps sex) as a distraction from how he's feeling.
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“Oh, Lord. You're … certainly going for the jugular there, aren't you?” - I liked your original analogy better (I think that is my personal preference speaking), but this one makes more sense…if that…makes sense.What *was* my original word choice? 'going for the big guns'? 'bringing out the heavy artillery'? I don't recall. I think it was military and I wanted a more visceral, low blow type of phrase ( ... )
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