A Personal Story That I Needed to Tell Somewhere

[gaijin_chan]

When I was young, I had bad posture. I still do. When I get tired, or stressed ...when my back hurts, or I'm sitting in an uncomfortable chair, I always start to droop. My head gets lower, and my shoulders get higher, and my back rounds like the stem of a flower that's starting to wilt. The only time I have really good posture is when I'm

Comments

[twhitesakura]

*hugs* I've always had bad posture too and I tend to walk with a slight hunchback because I'm usually worried or thinking about something. I never really got made fun of, but I tended to isolate myself from people to prevent hurt from happening. Today, I still have trouble opening up to people and close up fast if they hurt me. I also tend to avoid people's gazes...I guess it's a submission sort of thing to avoid confrontation?

Anyway, you were really brave to put this out here. *hugs again*

[gaijin_chan]

*snuggles* Yeah, the isolation: That was me too. And the thing about avoiding peoples' eyes. Since I've been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, I've thought that's probably what caused both the isolation and the eye-contact thing. Social skills are something I have to learn step by step, they do not come naturally.

Telling the truth is very liberating, I've found. Once you've said something out loud, it loses its power to scare you. And maybe hearing me tell my scary truth might make somebody else see theirs a little differently too.

[leaf_zelindor]

oh Sweetheart. I don't know what to say, but what i can say is, You are a wonderful person, and I love you just as you are. You wouldn't be who you are without all that, as horrible as it is. But I do love you. I know sometimes it's therapy just to put the words down, and that's what this looks like. :) :hugs tight:

[gaijin_chan]

*cuddles* I think it's when things stop being so intense and hurt-y, that's when you finally feel safe enough to say them. This one's got a lot less hurt in it than it used to when I was younger, but I hope by saying it out loud and honestly, that I can learn to say the truth while it's still new and very very painful.

I love you, dear.

[leaf_zelindor]

You are still very brave to do it. and I'm proud of you!

:hugs more!:

[gaijin_chan]

*snugs* Thanks, dear <3 <3 <3