Across The Room_Updated 2018

[gaeln]

NOTES; Two guys are together, committed to each other for the long run even though, for the present, one wants an open relationship while the other doesn't, but who, because of fear-of-abandonment issues and an honest belief in their love, their destiny, chooses nonetheless to go along. What might happen within him internally as opposed to what he

Comments

My essay

[harka]

The theme we had to write about was "If I won two million euros, I would...".

His comment: The idea of the essay is to make you use 'if' clauses - if I won I would . . . You have not done this.If she won two million euros, what would she… buy, treat herself to? Would she travel around the world? Why not? She had always tried to see as many countries as she could, considering her relatively low finances, of course. However, she would visit only the European countries, Australia, the USA, and perhaps a few countries of South America. Yes, she would avoid too exotic places, for she loved comfort very much. Comfort does not necessarily mean fancy

Re: My essay

[gaeln]

it's almost as if you wrote fiction when I think he want nonfiction. Probably if you had begun certain sentences, not all of them, with

'If I'd won two million euros, I would travel the world...'
'If I'd won two million euros, I could study, not caring...'

Also, to me, it's formatted just a little too much like a listing.

If you want, I could show you what I mean without changing much.

Re: My essay

[harka]

If you want, I could show you what I mean without changing much.

I would appreciate it very much. Thank you!

I'm going to write another essay, but this time with more "if" sentences than before.

Re: My essay

[gaeln]

see what you think

[gaeln]

Thank you, as strange as it seems, I'm glad you felt the pain :D

[gaeln]

:DD

I like angst :))