There

[futurebird]

Did you want to be cool when you were a teen? When you were in your 20s? Maybe cool isn't the right word for it, but maybe you had this feeling that somewhere there was this fantastic lifestyle, this world with cool people living in it. Like it's just around a corner, behind a door... someplace. And you could be like rock stars who have nothing to

Comments

[retention]

You're not alone in feeling that - or in missing the feeling. I live in San Diego and it usually occurs when I go to some bar/club/place different than my normal bar/club/place... or when I get the 944 magazine.

[futurebird]

944 look like just the type of magazine...

[futurebird]

though for me it's more like Wallpaper*
Which I hate- but always end up flipping through.

[mothwentbad]

I think I kind of know what you mean. And this is really all that there is, apparently.

One time when I was very little, like 6 or 8 or something, I wanted something really awesome from my room, and I thought I knew exactly what it was and that I had it. But by the time I got there, I forgot what it was that I was looking for, except that I almost remembered what it was like waking from a dream, and I remembered that it was really awesome. So I just looked through everything that was in my room, and nothing that I had was the super awesome thing... but it was *there* somewhere, I was sure, and I should've known it when I saw it.

Ah, well. I guess that's how it goes. It's hard to get fired up about anything. The first relationship I've been in snuck up on me, and it was kind of an anticlimax, and then I didn't miss her when she was gone... until about 6 months later, and now I have no idea whether I would be better off now and in the future if I'd stuck with her.

The Awesome plays games with your expectations like that.

[meus_ovatio]

When you reach 28, you just stop caring. I don't know why, but it seems to happen to everyone I know. You just stop giving a shit about other people and start getting down to the business of living your own life.

[coathangrrr]

Seriously. Weird, I thought it was just me.

[rdmiller3]

I thought I was so far from ever being "cool" that I didn't have a chance. Years later some of my classmates told me that they had thought I was one of the cool ones.

At that age, it's so hard to believe that almost everyone in your age group is going through the same things; crazy-strong emotions, loneliness, self-doubt and wanting to share love and to be a part of a group. Practically everyone. Even the cool ones.

[rdmiller3]

Wait, "carve dice from bones with a pocket knife"??

Okay, that's pretty cool. :D