Comments | fushigi_na_chou: Virtual prostitution is fascinating

fushigi_na_chou

Virtual prostitution is fascinating

Jan 22, 2009 12:36

~.: I'm sick of parameters that our culture (and culture in general) places on sexuality and gender. Why is it that if a man has sex with another man he's automatically gay (or bisexual if he has a girlfriend)? Why can't it just be that he enjoys having sex with other men? Same for women- why can't it just be that a woman likes to have sex with ( Read more... )

stupid, thoughtful, interesting

Comments 17

kendobunny January 22 2009, 21:14:29 UTC

We're not all a little bit bisexual, though. There's a major difference between aesthetic appreciation and sexual attraction. Trust me on this, I can aesthetically appreciate all kinds of people, but I've only experienced sexual attraction once in my life. Two totally different feelings.

fushigi_na_chou January 23 2009, 03:57:09 UTC

But aesthetic appraisal is part of sexuality. The way we interact with each other is all part of sexuality. The way we behave around our friends is all sexuality. Sexuality encompasses so much more than sex, and it gets forgotten until someone does something "weird" (like a guy acting "effeminate").

kendobunny January 23 2009, 15:30:32 UTC

Then I'm sexually attracted to landscapes and good architecture, as well as statues, fine paintings, and food with good presentation. Sorry if I'm getting snippy, but it bothers me when people assume all sexuality based on their own. Yes, there's a continuum, and sexuality can be very fluid, but sometimes it's not.

fushigi_na_chou January 23 2009, 18:19:41 UTC

Aesthetic appraisal of people. It doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to them, but physical attractiveness is based on how likely you would be to choose that other person as a mate. If you find another human physically attractive (or can appreciate that they are physically attractive), it ups your chances of choosing them as a mate. I mean, it's not that simple, because humans tend to act quite differently from other animals, but when it comes to sexuality, we're very much the same. Like I said, sexuality doesn't just mean sex- it also figures in alot how you, as a female, interact with others you perceive to be females and with those you perceive to be males (because even male and female, as you implied in our other discussion about "woman, love thy vagina", male and female are somewhat arbitrary structures ( ... )

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orionmctempest January 22 2009, 22:37:27 UTC

This is one reason I like a number of the people at my school. There are a lot of understanding and accepting people here. Plus with life drawing classes non sexual appreciation of both gender forms is kind of a must otherwise you would have some very awkward classes. Then again there are also some people that should never be models no matter how interesting there individual attributes may be.

absentaserpis January 22 2009, 22:51:52 UTC

Omg I didn't think anyone else could understand this concept. I identify as gay but I know for a fact that I wouldn't mind sleeping with a guy just for the sex if it came up. I could never have a relationship with one however and yet somehow people see this as me compromising my sexuality. It's so frustrating.

You see it all the time in the media with celebrities too. As a girl kisses another girl and everyone is appraising her as guy and forgetting about the 20 other guys she's been seen with at some point. It's just not that simple and I think in the end it all comes down to how we feel about ourselves instead of what other people see us as.

windup_bird January 22 2009, 22:54:50 UTC

Omg I didn't think anyone else could understand this concept. I identify as gay but I know for a fact that I wouldn't mind sleeping with a guy just for the sex if it came up. I could never have a relationship with one however and yet somehow people see this as me compromising my sexuality. It's so frustrating.

Sorry to cut in but I just have to say that I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Of course, it's the opposite way. I would gladly have sex with a woman. Multiple women, really. But I don't think I could be in a relationship with one. Does that compromise my sexuality? I don't think so.

windup_bird January 22 2009, 22:53:08 UTC

I agree. if a woman happens to meet the ONE woman she is sexually attracted to is she truly a "lesbian"? or a "bisexual"? what if that woman is so special and unique and beautiful that she wants her sexually but is not turned on by other women? this kind of thing happens all the time.

I think our society would have it a lot easier if we could just throw all these constraining labels back in the closet.

fushigi_na_chou January 23 2009, 03:59:28 UTC

AMEN

Terms like "asexual" and "heterosexual" and "bisexual" and whatever are so misleading. How about we stop identifying people by who they're attracted to and instead focus on what makes them attractive as people.

windup_bird January 23 2009, 04:04:05 UTC

How about we stop identifying people by who they're attracted to and instead focus on what makes them attractive as people.

Beautifully put.

hideincarnate January 23 2009, 09:00:58 UTC

Hells yes.

But it's like you said, our society/culture/brains? need the labels to easily sort people out. We need to change how we differentiate people inside our heads as well as within our culture. Is that possible though? I'm not asking for an answer, I'm just thinking about it. I mean can we change that? And what would we change first? The labels? It's like the PC labels to prevent racism/racist names. Not "black" but "African-American" - well okay but what if they're NOT from Africa? "Haitian-American?" "Jamaican-American?" Because we think of things as gay or bi or straight due to how we are raised, the environment we're brought up in. So do we change the environment first? But does that change when the people's way of thinking changes? Which came first - society or man? Or something like that.

I wish I could discuss this better with you but my illness is making thinking anything complex impossible. =(

Thread 7