Virtual prostitution is fascinating

[fushigi_na_chou]

~.: I'm sick of parameters that our culture (and culture in general) places on sexuality and gender. Why is it that if a man has sex with another man he's automatically gay (or bisexual if he has a girlfriend)? Why can't it just be that he enjoys having sex with other men? Same for women- why can't it just be that a woman likes to have sex with

Comments

[kendobunny]

We're not all a little bit bisexual, though. There's a major difference between aesthetic appreciation and sexual attraction. Trust me on this, I can aesthetically appreciate all kinds of people, but I've only experienced sexual attraction once in my life. Two totally different feelings.

[fushigi_na_chou]

But aesthetic appraisal is part of sexuality. The way we interact with each other is all part of sexuality. The way we behave around our friends is all sexuality. Sexuality encompasses so much more than sex, and it gets forgotten until someone does something "weird" (like a guy acting "effeminate").

[kendobunny]

Then I'm sexually attracted to landscapes and good architecture, as well as statues, fine paintings, and food with good presentation. Sorry if I'm getting snippy, but it bothers me when people assume all sexuality based on their own. Yes, there's a continuum, and sexuality can be very fluid, but sometimes it's not.

[fushigi_na_chou]

Aesthetic appraisal of people. It doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to them, but physical attractiveness is based on how likely you would be to choose that other person as a mate. If you find another human physically attractive (or can appreciate that they are physically attractive), it ups your chances of choosing them as a mate. I mean, it's not that simple, because humans tend to act quite differently from other animals, but when it comes to sexuality, we're very much the same. Like I said, sexuality doesn't just mean sex- it also figures in alot how you, as a female, interact with others you perceive to be females and with those you perceive to be males (because even male and female, as you implied in our other discussion about "woman, love thy vagina", male and female are somewhat arbitrary structures

[kendobunny]

A bit, but I still disagree with aesthetic appreciation being sexual by default. Some people are just aesthetically pleasing, and if it was all based on suitability as a mate, then most people wouldn't find people of the same sex attractive at all.

[fushigi_na_chou]

That's what makes humans slightly different, and why it can't be entirely simplified the way I'm explaining it. There are some ape species that use sex as a way to structure all social interactions- it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with producing offspring. The fact that homosexual attraction doesn't lead to reproduction is one of the reasons people see it as some sort of deviant or mutant defect in human beings.

I think we're both partially right. It's just really hard for me to articulate what I'm trying to say. ^^;

[kendobunny]

Quite possibly. But I've always been bothered by the notion that everyone is sexual. It makes it sound like asexuality is impossible. Yeah, I found out I'm not truly asexual, but I'm still in the community enough to know that most asexuals are told that they'll 'grow out of it' because 'everyone is sexual'.

[fushigi_na_chou]

You're still misunderstanding me. Sexuality doesn't have everything to do with sex. You can be asexual while still be sexual. Asexual meaning that you have no sexual desire toward either sex. But you can't be entirely asexual because you still interact with other human beings- sexuality dictates how you do that too.

See, this is EXACTLY what I mean by labels. Who cares if you don't have sexual desire- why do we have to call it anything? You're not defined by it, so why should we name it?