Something that's been sitting on my chest for a while.

[artemisqueer]

I made a new account so I could talk about this, warnings for explicit surgery talk and sadness. It's not for the faint of heart but it's been about 4 years since I had top surgery that didn't go very well and today while trying to make myself feel better I sat down and wrote about it. I'd appreciate people sharing their own stories or just words

Comments

[funcrunch]

Thanks for sharing this, very brave of you. I'm struggling daily with decisions over whether or not to get surgery, and this is another anecdote for me to consider.

Sweeney Todd is my favorite musical of all time by the way. I know the scene you describe well. Surprised that it's cut from most productions considering the entire musical is quite grisly.

[10101110]

Thank you so much for sharing, I think every experience needs to have a voice. I don't think your story will stop anyone from having surgery if that's what they desire and/or need. I have seen (online and off)/heard about surgery and most were very positive and still I do not desire trans* related surgeries or any surgeries! I recently had to go through a unilateral salpingo oophorectomy for a mass - Thank goodness everything was clean but if I can steer clear of surgery I do. I'm not going to lie and say I never thought about it/questioned it (I did for a LONG time) but I came to a place where it just isn't necessary (I'm non-op and non-HRT) - I don't pass and frankly I don't care. My experience is not going to shape anyone's decisions and I don't think you sharing your experience will stop others from having top surgery if they desire/need it if anything it will arm them with more information that can help them recognize infections and other complications regarding top surgery. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you went

[little_frank]

I'm sorry you've felt so alone in this and unable to talk about it for so long. Lots of guys have surgery that doesn't give the results they'd hoped for. I'm one of them - my surgeon actually carried out the wrong procedure on my chest leaving me needing several revision surgeries to try to give me a reasonable-shaped chest, and years later I'm only halfway through the revision.

In my case though I'd still rather all this than have to go back to binding. I'm a lot more comfortable with a slightly odd looking chest than I would be with obvious breasts, and I've found the courage to swim topless despite it all - no-one has ever given me a second glance at the swimming pool, so I know I'm ok :-).

[taxishoes]

I have not yet had surgery. But I wanted to comment to thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that you ended up suffering so much for this. Sorry if this is weird to say but my heart goes out to you. This sounds so incredibly hard, every step of the way, and still hard now that it feels like an isolating experience to have had.

I'm glad that at least there are parts of your life that are better now. I think your story is very important, still. I'm grateful that you found a way to share it.

[industrialdoom]

Thanks for posting this. I'm still not very satisfied with my chest surgery, even though it was 8 years ago. It was always a source of angst for me. I recently had bottom surgery and of course have a huge scar from that, but I'm pleased with that result and it makes me focus on my chest less. Its a very difficult journey we have. The one thing that helped my chest the most was developing chest hair that covered up the places where I had craters, so now I put rogaine on my chest lol.