Nightmares coming true. Transphobic parents moving in.

[fm425]

My mom and step dad, plus their 2 kids are moving in. One is 4 there other just born. Being around kids really stress me out and make me super tired. I try to be nice and friendly and interactive as possible, but I really can not deal with it. To make it worse my mom always tells them "this is your big "SISTER!!!" and just tries everything she can

Comments

[varanus]

Please note: I am not a mental health professional, or even a life coach. I do not know you. So my advice might be completely worthless. Or it might not

[varanus]

Also: there are a thousand reasons why making such huge changes might seem impossible. Since I don't know you, you may have circumstances that make some of what I just posted extraordinarily difficult or impossible (if you have a physical disability that prevents you from driving, for instance). But I urge you to think of getting out of your current situation-or at least altering it significantly-as a very important goal, nearing emergency/vital status. I can't see how someone in the situation you've described can maintain themselves for long without some major changes. And it's going to fall to you to make major changes, even accounting for extenuating circumstances that you may not have told us about here.

[fish_n_lilies]

How about LGBTQ shelter?
Judging by the text you written, you can express yourself very well, which is an achievement, so there is a possibility you may even find some work there. Or, at least, being consulted how to find a job better suited for you.

Anyway, if you stay with the family, I suggest you adopt the following tactic: never try to "be good" or to be accepted by them as "good". Accept yourself as being "bad" to those people and just try to enjoy yourself and to seek your personal comfort above all. See the situation as a testing ground for your own self-development, decide what goals to that end you want to achieve and how you want your character to grow. See any encounter with them as a possibility to hone your skills, and if you fail, never judge or punish yourself, just make an effort (best possible for the moment) it will not happen again.
It's the only way out of hell I know.

[expanding_x_man]

I second the advice about going with the grandparents and going to school. Transition is not in your immediate future any way - from what you are saying, present circumstances preclude that. So, if you are with your grandparents, you get to go to college, and yes, start accessing the help you need (counseling) and also just getting yourself on track with a college degree. While it is and may seem very important, remember that transition can be done in the future. I didn't start till I was 32, and am now 57. In the past, trans people often didn't start transition till their thirties. You may not have to wait that long, of course, if you decide to transition, but right now, you can't do it any way. Your other issues are far more pressing, and you want to have most of your life in a decent place before you transition any way. It is good to start transition when your life is in good order. So, I would live with grandparents, go to college, and yes - learn to drive! In time, you will be inspired to be more out of on your own, and

[varanus]

I agree with everything here except the stating-with-the-grandparents thing. If the OP's parents are as toxic as he's stating, being around them will worsen depression, anxiety, and other problems, which makes academic success (necessary to leave this mess if we take this route) much more difficult. Take their financial support, yes. Don't worry about transition right now, yes. Go to college, absolutely. But if at all possible, see if you can get into somewhere far enough away that commuting is less possible (yes, that will be more expensive, but yes aid is usually available in some way).

[industrialdoom]

I would apply for colleges and scholarships. Go to a school where you can live there full-time with financial assistance. Apply to schools that have insurance coverage for trans people so you can transition while at school. Also, most importantly, begin seeing a therapist at school, or even now if you're able to. It will go a long way in helping you.

[folkmusicranger]

Have you looked in to disability? I would look in to it. If you are declared disabled and can get SSDI/SSI, many other things will become open to you. Yes, that even includes college. Also, you can get an apartment that is based on 30% of your income if you are disabled.