I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this...

[vincentjhyde]

My name is Vincent, I'm 26 and I'm very new to everything, and to this community

Comments

[alicephilippa]

*hugs*

[vincentjhyde]

*hugs back* Thank you. I could do with many of them right now.

[westminster_son]

I don't have much to say that will help but I want to say, I don't know, something. I have to "be a girl" at home, and we have friends over right now who don't know about my being trans and the wife of that couple has this posh manner where she inadvertently stresses that she considers me female ("you're such a good girl", "you're such a lovely young lady", etcetera, etcetera), and I hate it, but I can't change anything for now either. As long as I live with my parents I have to pretend while I'm in the house (or when I'm out and about with them

[vincentjhyde]

Thank you for this.

Yeah, I tried coming out to them and mum just didn't...take it in? She keeps asking why I bind, and I keep telling her and even trying to explain to her, but no luck. She doesn't talk about it, and I don't talk about it and like you, it's all up in the air and I don't want to alienate them either.

I'm not out at work, I guess I'm just scared of losing my job. It's not enough hours, but it's money and I need money, and jobs are so hard to come by just lately. I've only just started coming out to a few friends and they have been supportive so for that I'm grateful.

My girlfriend is MtF so we help each other. :) I am so so grateful to have her.

I shall have to have a lot. I was born premature so I do have problems with my lungs. I'll see if the sports bras help. Thank you for the advice and for the understanding.

[westminster_son]

My mother does the same exact thing! I tried explaining it to her when I came out but still, everytime she catches me binding, the same stupid question: "but you're squeezing your breasts down! Nobody will see them, people will assume you're flat-chested . . . why would you wear that, don't you want to look good?" ARGH. I've just given up for the time being . . . I hope she eventually gets it, if not, not . . .

Where do you work? Is it a kind of conservative place? A lot of places I've worked at were great when I came out, I've never had a negative experience (but I know that not everyone is as lucky).

Your girlfriend is amazing from what I hear :) Go the both of you!

So sorry to hear about the lung problem . . . binders in general can be in a pain. Sometimes I have to really concentrate on breathing through my stomach too, because I'll get winded. When I exercise too much, I get muscle spasms underneath it, it's kind of weird. I hope the bras will help at all :)

[vincentjhyde]

Yeah, my mum says that too. She thinks that if I lost weight and changed my look that I would want to be more feminine. It's not happening.

I work at Asda, which is part of Wal-Mart over here. *sighs*

Oh yes, my girlfriend is amazing. :D But she's having trouble herself at the moment so we're both trying to just keep our heads above water.

[boigotta]

It's a scarry place to be, Welcome, and I second on the hug!

[vincentjhyde]

*hugs* Thank you very much.

[misassembledbot]

I can completely sympathize. I've got the good look to have a gf that calls me the right pronouns, and makes jokes about me never being able to win an argument since she's the girl and I'm the boy

[vincentjhyde]

My mother and my step dad haven't met my girlfriend yet, but my girl always calls me her boy no matter so I don't know, maybe it'll help my parents accept? Either that or it'll alienate them. I guess we'll soon see. My partner is MtF and her family are not accepting at all. They still call her by her birth name and the wrong pronouns and they only call me Vin because they have nothing else to call me by, they don't know my birth name and won't ever. But I still get she'd.

I guess I'll have to go and make that appointment. At least getting on the road would be a good thing. It's just finding the confidence to say what I've kept hidden.

I shall try those, thank you very much. :)

[misassembledbot]

Before coming out as trans, it meant my girlfriend had to come out as gay to her family. What seemed to help HER, was no matter how much she *does* love her family, she said "They're my past, you are my future. If they do not want to be a part of that, then they don't have any place in my present *or* future"

Drawing that line *yourself* might help. If *you* are prepared to cut them off for not accepting those choices, it means no one else has much power.

((It worse for doctors and therapists too ;) "If YOU don't want to help me, I'll just give my money to someone else :D)) You're the buyer with them. Don't feel intimidated by what they might or might not give you.

[vincentjhyde]

I need to do that, but it means getting a place first. Things are just so bad with that too, but I need to believe that it'll be okay and that it'll all work out. :(

[silveria]

Been there. I can identify with a lot of that, and I'm sure lots of us can. The most important thing in the acquiring T aspect is not to feel defeated before you even try. And when things do get bad, don't let it overwhelm you to the point of giving up. Be strong and do what you have to do to be happy, to reach your goal, whatever it takes. Fight for it. It's a long and arduous process for everybody, but happiness is something everyone deserves.

And sense you responded well to it, here's an e-hug for you.

[vincentjhyde]

Thank you. Last night was just a really bad night. I'm feeling a little better now this morning, but still not 100%. I'll keep going, keep my head above water and try and keep my girlfriend's up too. I know she feels the same.

*hugs back* Thank you.