meeting a cousin/priest after 15 yrs

[feldspar_ghost]

i recently got back in touch with a cousin i haven't seen since i was teen, almost 15 yrs ago. i'm not sure how and when to come out to him.

Comments

[inever]

I'd say ahead of time, but that's just me. I hate confrontation or any potential for confrontation.

[feldspar_ghost]

i don't care for it either, but sometimes its necissarry. im worried the letter might seem to cold and its the kind of thing someone would expect to be told in person. otoh, the letter gives them time to go through feelings on their own time.

[gieusse]

are you transitioned? if so, i would do it ahead of time (via letter if that's easier for you), because it can get pretty awkward to roll up to someone as a different gender than they were expecting. if you haven't transitioned yet, then i would say it doesn't matter much either way

[feldspar_ghost]

i've had top surgery and been on T for a year but no significant facial hair yet and i get she'd a lot still.

[heathen_wolf]

Mind if I ask a friar for you, in regards to their views on the LGBT community at large?

[feldspar_ghost]

sure

[feldspar_ghost]

& thanks

[ambiguously_jer]

The Franciscans I've known were among the most supportive of the various priests I've had friendships with. (This definitely depends on WHICH Franciscan order, though. I would not expect the order that runs Franciscan University of Steubenville to be LGBT friendly). On the other hand, I may have just been lucky to be around a large group of LGBT-friendly friars. While I really love the Franciscan order and find them, as a group, to be among the more tolerant, it really comes down to individuals. Religious orders are like any other 'category' of people. You can make group-wide statements about trends or tendencies, but it doesn't necessarily hold on the individual level.

[feldspar_ghost]

yeah, i know, everyone's different :-) i think if i knew more about their stance on the issue, even if he doesn't agree with it, knowing what he was likely taught/exposed to in his training/work will help the dialogue. He's O.F.M..

[tommytesto]

I'm with AmbiguouslyJer - theologically, I would think the OFM to be friendlier. Many of them choose to wear the brown because of a tendency towards justice, holding up the rights of the marginalized, and realizing that many aspects of Creation get the short end of the stick when they meet human institutions.

I think you've got a good chance, although of course grumpy and narrowminded people can be found nearly everywhere.

[feldspar_ghost]

thanks. he never struck me as a grump type, but sometimes people can be surprising on topics like this. I guess i'll just cross my fingers!

[high_risk]

Every Priest I have come in contact with (personally or via my Family) has been very OK with my transition. Two of them were crucial in my Mom's acceptance of me, and to them I am forever in their debt. To my knowledge they were Roman Catholic Priests (if that helps).

Good luck to you.

[feldspar_ghost]

thanks!
Do you remember if they had any questions/comments about it that tied into the their catholic beliefs?