Comments | fredsmith518: Drabble, Friend, Lover, Wife

fredsmith518

Drabble, Friend, Lover, Wife

Nov 02, 2007 18:08

Title: Friend, Lover, Wife
Author: fredsmith518
Beta: please tell me if I’ve dropped any major clangers
Rating:pretty tame
Disclaimer: Nothing owned.
Summary: Ryan’s pov musing on Theresa, Marissa, Taylor

A/N Waves to brandywine421 whom I suspect inspired this with her own musings, hive mind, cariad, swear! Also, this was a 30 min ish fic and from your ( Read more... )

post season 4 finale fic, drabbles

Comments 22

zbyszko November 2 2007, 18:41:26 UTC

Great differentiation of the women in Ryan's life.

My favorite, though, is where Taylor goes from "vague memories of smart chick" to "seared into his memory".

fredsmith518 November 2 2007, 18:42:32 UTC

Yes, me too, thank you!

60schic November 2 2007, 19:40:50 UTC

Great minds, fred. But really---this couldn't be any more different from brandy's piece. Nice musings.

fredsmith518 November 2 2007, 20:26:35 UTC

Thank you
Different girl, same conclusion, she needs to be friend and lover...:)

emrose33 November 2 2007, 21:36:22 UTC

This was lovely, Fred. Nice to have an image of Theresa as a sweet little girl, because I was left feeling a tad..pissed at her, at the end.

fredsmith518 November 2 2007, 22:08:45 UTC

Hi, and thanks, I'm watching on E4 at the mo and it's up to the manipulative Theresa cheating on Eddie, the beginnings of the grrr

I'm writing a long story at the mo, quite anti Theresa...pissed is the right word, definitely

kazfloyd November 2 2007, 22:32:49 UTC

Very nice! You summed it up very well.

fredsmith518 November 2 2007, 23:03:13 UTC

thank you:)

beachtree November 3 2007, 03:27:30 UTC

These are lovely, evocative vignettes. You know what a sucker I am for backstory ( ... )

fredsmith518 November 3 2007, 09:47:43 UTC

Thank you for your kind comments. I'm glad these resonated for you.
You've captured that innocent sort of vulnerability especially pleased by this, becuase although writing in the past tense, I wanted young Ryan's voice here. I spent a lot of time changing 'big' words to more simple ones.

Young Ryan from the Pilot has been written so well by so many authors, it's nice to think these short lines caught something too - I'm thinking of re reading Chaz's stunning Pilot fic now!

I think I rushed the Taylor part, maybe caught by form over substance, 300, 200, 100 words, kinda inverse equation!

I hadn't thought of this 'belonging' with the other drabbles, but now you mention it - you have made a click that I didn't - consciously!

beachtree November 4 2007, 04:43:32 UTC

You succeeded with young Ryan's voice and you made it both "young" and still Ryan's, which is a feat in itself. That balancing act of the world-weary and the hopeful is a delicate one and I can't help but wonder how much of the hint of vulnerability is age and how much is just him placating Dawn or clinging to that eternal hope we often saw which would be in evidence here because so much was new and maybe different. I also noticed that you tried to use more age appropriate language for the introspection, which really did make it that much more real ( ... )