Comments | fragmentedsky: [for those of you who, like me, loathe twilight]

fragmentedsky

[for those of you who, like me, loathe twilight]

Sep 01, 2008 15:25

TWILIGHT BY THE NUMBERS: Breaks down the ridiculous. Such as the fact that in a 498 page book, the author reminds us that Edward is beautiful 165 times. That's once every three pages with only three pages to spare.

HEAD TRIP COMICS: Please be sure to notice the sparkle.

And the brilliant ever-growing joy that is GROWING UP CULLEN. Honestly, ( Read more... )

books :: meyer's literacy revoked, books :: general, epic levels of hilarity

Comments 14

prydenme September 1 2008, 19:59:33 UTC

*laughing hysterically*

I don't quite loathe it but I can definitely be greatly amused by every single one of these.

fragmentedsky September 1 2008, 20:05:19 UTC

I hate it with the violent passion of hell, but part of it is because of how popular it is. Bella Swan's entire existance revolves around Edward, who always has to save her (...oops, feminisim, I didn't see you leave, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out) and who is creepy stalker man. And this is considered the ROMANTIC IDEAL of girls all over the country?

The sad thing is, if it had actually been INTENDED as "completely narcassistic girl falls head over heels for creepy stalker who is secretly a vampire," it could have been really interesting.

onehoureternity September 1 2008, 20:04:01 UTC

OMFG! I think I pulled something laughing, and I'm not even done with the FIRST one yet! LMFAO!

fragmentedsky September 1 2008, 20:06:53 UTC

I'm glad - I was worried I offended you with my Twilight-rage response to your comment on my poll. ^^;;

onehoureternity September 1 2008, 20:42:03 UTC

Nope! I like Twilight, but not enough to get all offended when people make fun of it. Hell, I'll even join in making fun! Like your icon says, it's all for the lulz. :D

fragmentedsky September 1 2008, 20:49:36 UTC

Gotcha, cheers. ^^ I was just making sure - some Twilight fans can get scary offended simply when someone doesn't like the books, much less mocks them.

utsusemia September 1 2008, 21:12:06 UTC

argh! I can't stop reading all the hilarious fan wank and parodies! It's like reading Midnight Sun cracked open my stupid brain. I could not believe how bad it was, and then I had to read about everyone else also feeling similarly astonished. And holy christ, Growing Up Cullen is hilarious. I want it to turn into a wacky Rumiko Takahashi anime SO BADLY.

"Of course I iron my underwear. I AM NOT A HEATHEN, EMMETT."

fragmentedsky September 2 2008, 12:39:29 UTC

OH MY GOD, THAT WOULD BE SO PERFECT.

And word is that Breaking Dawn is even worse than Midnight Sun. Based on the spoilers I've read, I have no trouble believing it.

"NO I DONT THINK THAT IT IS ATTRACTIVE WHEN WOMEN SHAKE THEIR BEHINDS IN THAT MANNER."

keeloca September 2 2008, 09:50:24 UTC

Death to Twilight fans! I was recommended the book by a close friend, and she usually has good taste but I guess she let her hopelessly romantic side get the better of her. Anyway. Pain.

But actually, I just wanted to tell you that your Sawyer mood icon made my day a much better one. I'm having one hell of a migraine, feeling sick and all, and I'm stuck in a dark, stuffy room until well into the evening and I have to be nice to people asking me silly questions and I haven't slept properly in like forever (and sorry, needed to vent) but then there's Sawyer and I remember how much I love him, and how funny he is and it made me feel better....

Ugh. That was kinda weird...

fragmentedsky September 2 2008, 12:36:03 UTC

Aww, he's glad he could make you happy! See?

( ... )

keeloca September 2 2008, 13:17:00 UTC

Love... much love! Saaaaaawyer...

No chance of sleep anytime soon BUT I managed to get me some painkillers that actually worked wonders. So much happier now...

fragmentedsky September 3 2008, 00:39:38 UTC

Well, it's progress. Hope it continues in that direction.

srahman24 September 2 2008, 22:06:58 UTC

That first link? That's FANTASTIC. I have never before actually wanted to read one of these books. But if it's really that bad... oh man, I'm tempted to head out to the library just so I can see the LOLZ for myself.

fragmentedsky September 3 2008, 00:38:20 UTC

Well, once you read even one of the books you can appreciate the GROWING UP CULLEN that much more. Honestly, it's drivel (and yes, it really is that bad, it's like horrible fanfic that somehow got published) and if you take it in that context, it's hilarious. However, the first book alone is 500 pages of drivel - if very readable drivel. By the third one I was committing acts of violence unto the actual book. I have yet to tackle the fourth, but they have gotten progressively worse so far, and all spoilers point towards the biggest implosion of WTF ever.

The choice is yours. Sorry for the ramble.