.

PTSD- waking up in a place you don't recoginize at first, then you remember it's your room.

All the answers to the secrets of the 3rd dimension, must be inverted in the corner of the room
Angels mocking my single visual focal point, compliments of my ape ancestry. 
Get up, get dressed. It would be cool to try out a health care plan that charged point ( Read more... )

Ok. I've decided to get through the night.

( Read more... )

"If I was in World War Two they'd call me spitfire"


( Read more... )

Buying a Corelle Livingware Sandstone 16-Piece Dinnerware Set
because you believe that advertising their dishes as being "unbreakable"
is merely an underestimation of your fervent determination.
$29.97 (Amazon)Replacing your hot friend's microwave because you blew up his after rationalizing that "provoking" the molecular structure of the claimed " ( Read more... )

There was this dog that lived by a dumpster. It would always bark when people walked by. Besides barking, the dog didn’t bother anyone ( Read more... )

If you're ever sitting in a psychiatrist's chair, and he/she ask you describe what you look for in the opposite sex,
this is NOT the correct answer:


( Read more... )

Conclusions of the day:

• Chess is more fun than it looks

1st time playing chess since I was like, nine
Her: "Does your rook have wings?"
Me: "Sorry! I'm medium drunk, I keep thinking this is a horse"
Her: (picks up my dead horses) "They're knights, and they're saying: "Avenge us! Avenge us!" "
Me: "So are all my other pieces"

I recently checked out this book about Social Choice Theory and there was this quote on the back:

"Can you direct me to the railway station?" asks the stranger. "Certainly," says the local, pointing in the opposite direction, towards the post office, "and would you post this letter for me on your way?" "Certainly," says the stranger, resolving to ( Read more... )

.

Our first conversation:

Him: "I notice you paint a lot of tigers, I was at Half Price and I found this art psychology book,
           it says tigers mean you're sexually repressed"
     ~awkward silence~
Him: "You're blushing!"
     ~worse awkward silence~
Me: "Hey, what winks and fucks like a tiger?"
Him: "What?"
Then I winked at him and he totally didn ( Read more... )