(no subject)
"If I was in World War Two they'd call me spitfire"
This is the strangest depression I've ever experienced.
I don't think about it. At all.
But I know I'm depressed because the symptoms are there:
I'm sleeping on the couch, or anywhere besides my bed,
reading about promising Neutron Stars, thinking about stuff like master-slave morality,
chewing holes in my cheeks at night, waking up,
unable to brush the taste of blood out of my mouth.
I walk my neighbor's dog to the store.
Everything I had and loved, wanted to protect, and keep is being pissed on by a wiener.
I buy water. Go home, work on a website for CNG America, work on dashboards, work.
Moving up (and down) in the world. Typical Pisces.
At least I make more money when i put more hours in at home. Maybe I can buy a new life soon.
Every year we throw this party in Houston. All of our old friends meet there in this field surrounded by what we call "the maze of trees". We cut the flesh out of a pig that we roast above a bonfire. We twirl glow sticks, strange attractors dancing to loud music.
It all seems very pagan.
One year this guy KB and I made designs with gasoline all over the wet field. Nobody knew what we were doing. When we lit it, the field looked like this huge, hellish bubble chamber of fire. It was the most beautiful thing I ever did.
I took off all my clothes and walked into it, and stayed there in the middle until it died.
This is the strangest depression I've ever experienced.
I don't think about it. At all.
But I know I'm depressed because the symptoms are there:
I'm sleeping on the couch, or anywhere besides my bed,
reading about promising Neutron Stars, thinking about stuff like master-slave morality,
chewing holes in my cheeks at night, waking up,
unable to brush the taste of blood out of my mouth.
I walk my neighbor's dog to the store.
Everything I had and loved, wanted to protect, and keep is being pissed on by a wiener.
I buy water. Go home, work on a website for CNG America, work on dashboards, work.
Moving up (and down) in the world. Typical Pisces.
At least I make more money when i put more hours in at home. Maybe I can buy a new life soon.
Every year we throw this party in Houston. All of our old friends meet there in this field surrounded by what we call "the maze of trees". We cut the flesh out of a pig that we roast above a bonfire. We twirl glow sticks, strange attractors dancing to loud music.
It all seems very pagan.
One year this guy KB and I made designs with gasoline all over the wet field. Nobody knew what we were doing. When we lit it, the field looked like this huge, hellish bubble chamber of fire. It was the most beautiful thing I ever did.
I took off all my clothes and walked into it, and stayed there in the middle until it died.