-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling entranceWay [EW] --

[forevercapslock]

Karkat: Implement terrible new idea Be the best leader

[Text]

I FOUND A BOOK ABOUT THE EARTH ZODIAC. THE SYMBOLS MATCH THE CLASS SYMBOLS WE WEAR, SO THIS IS CLEARLY A TESTAMENT TO EARTH'S ORIGINS.

ANY HUMANS WHO FALL UNDER THE ZODIAC SIGN OF CANCER, RESPOND TO THIS. YOU ARE NOW ANSWERABLE TO MY AUTHORITY.

Comments

[dashboardlite]

HA.

[Dean laughs. Okay, this is a little amusing.]

What if I ain't Cancer, but Aquarius?

[forevercapslock]

THEN YOU BELONG TO ERIDAN. OR TEREZI, SINCE SHE'S DECIDED TO STEAL EVERYONE'S HUMANS.

[dashboardlite]

[Snort. Yeah, right.]

Dude, I don't even know who the Hell "Eridan" is.

[Not that he cares, but. Still.]

[forevercapslock]

GOOD. HE'S A GIGANTIC TOOL AND IT'S EASIER FOR EVERYONE TO JUST LEAVE HIM AND HIS GENOCIDE COMPLEXES ALONE.

[dashboardlite]

Duly noted. Who're you?

[Eyebrow raise.]

[forevercapslock]

KARKAT VANTAS. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

[dashboardlite]

Dean Winchester. Human. You're a troll, aren'tcha? Seen one-a you guys around.

[Being human, and not particularly internet-savvy, Dean isn't really familiar with "internet trolls."

Trololol.]

[forevercapslock]

YES. I'M A TROLL. CONGRATULATIONS ON RECOGNIZING THAT SO QUICKLY.
WHICH ONE DID YOU MEET?

[dashboardlite]

[EYEROLL.] 'Scuse me for bein' human, kid.

The- [Cue fingerquotes.] -"sparklepire" one.

[forevercapslock]

THERE. THAT WAS HUMAN SARCASM, WASN'T IT? I'M GETTING BETTER AT THIS. I DESERVE A FUCKING MEDAL.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES "SPARKLEPIRE" MEAN?

[dashboardlite]

You're a mouthy little bastard, aren't you?

[Dean grins to himself. He likes this kid. Troll. Whatever.]

I dunno, she liked to read. She said a "sparklepire" was a vampire that sparkled. Where I come from, vampires don't sparkle.

[forevercapslock]

THAT'S KANAYA. SHE'S REALLY INTERESTED IN RAINBOW DRINKERS.
WHICH I GUESS IS THE TROLL VERSION OF A VAMPIRE.
I DON'T GET THE APPEAL BUT WHATEVER.

[dashboardlite]

I don't get it either. On my Earth, vampires are evil fuckers.

...

...what exactly does a troll do?

[Really, he's actually interested.]

[forevercapslock]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT DOES A TROLL DO? WE DO LOTS OF THINGS, LIKE HUMANS DO.
EXCEPT THE THINGS WE DO ARE INHERENTLY DIFFERENT.

[dashboardlite]

Wow, dude. That's really specific.

[More sarcasm! Have some.]

[forevercapslock]

LOOK, DEAN HUMAN, IT WOULD BE LIKE SAYING "WHAT DO HUMANS DO?"
THE LIST WOULD BE TOO FUCKING LONG TO BOTHER WITH.

IT WILL TELL YOU WHAT I DO, THOUGH. IT IS TWO THINGS AND TWO THINGS ONLY. I GET SHIT DONE AS AN AWESOME LEADER AND I DEVASTATE SORRY MOTHERFUCKERS.