Away From His Hand Chapter 4

[forever9218]

Title: Away From His Hand
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye
Author: forever9218
Pairing: Ennis and Jack
Genre: AU/Canon
Rating: Adult

Word Count: 3482
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the intellectual property of Ms. Annie Proulx. No money is being made from this work and no copyright infringement is intended. Just

Comments

[hampshirerose]

Ennis' feelings run deep even if he can't find the words to express them. This was such a well written chapter,very emotionally charged. Ennis rationalising his behaviour towards Jack over the years had been exactly the same as a horse's spirit being broken by ill treatment was heart breaking.
Jack always knows what Ennis needs but at least now Ennis seems to understand that more....

"What ya need,cowboy?"

"Make love to me"

Just beautiful...

Rose

[forever9218]

Thanks so much, Rose. Yes Ennis' feelings run as deep as the ocean and this time alone with Jack is stirring up all kinds
of feelings. Jack was smart to use the analogy of breaking a horse's spirit in the last chapter because his man definitely got the message. One of my goals with this story was to show intimate moments between these two that did not just involve the sexual act. Pillow talk can lead to all kinds of revelations...before...during...and after consummation. I think Ennis may have had one...or two epiphanies in this chapter. Let's just hope he understands what they mean.

Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a lovely, encouraging comment. Take care.

Love, Debra.

[gwylliondream]

Whoa! You write so beautifully, it is well worth any wait. I love it when they get up to talking in bed/sleeping bags/oilcloths/etc. You capture every little nuance of their emotions and physical action. I like it when everything is just between the two of them.

Hmmm... but you could have thrown a few Indians in...

XO
Donna

[forever9218]

Hey Donna. Are you trying to make me blush? I mentioned in my response to Rose's comment up above that one of the goals of this story was to try and capture a variety of really intimate moments between these two that did not just involve the act of sex. As we all know, Ennis doesn't speak much, and it's hard for him to envision a life with Jack beyond the notion of high altitude fucks. But, this time, Jack's going to take advantage of the quiet moments between them. You just watch. That man is not going to give up this time. He knows how deeply Ennis feels about him. The trick is how to translate those feelings into action. Nonetheless, after four chapters it looks like Jack's making some progress. Remember, Ennis did indicate that he wanted to talk. They just got a...ahem...little "side-tracked

[ramona4jake]

Calling his tear a "precious piece of Jack’s heart" - that was so beautiful said !! I know Ennis cannot say much, but Jack knows.... although it would be so good to hear it, at least once in a while !
Thank you, this was a great up-date !

[forever9218]

Thanks so much, friend. Yes, that was one of the passages I most enjoyed getting just right. I'm glad it worked for you. Sniff. Kind of brought a tear to my eye while I was composing the darn thing. That Ennis can be a real sweetie sometimes. I don't believe Jack would have fallen so hard otherwise!

Love, Debra.

[annabuffy]

It's nice to know that Ennis's feelings are just as deep for Jack as Jack's are for him. But, I hope that Jack doesn't get diverted from finally giving Ennis an ultimatium and going back to Texas and divorcing Lureen.

[forever9218]

Hi, Anna. Glad you stopped by. Don't worry, Jack won't get diverted this time. They just got a little sidetracked for the moment. If you remember, Ennis actually wanted to talk. Behold a miracle in the making! Stay tuned.

Love, Debra.

[l_rabbit]

I have read and enjoyed this story as you've posted it. You convey the tension between Jack and Ennis really well. The two of them were caught up in a continuous "tug o' war," and couldn't get out of it.

Your writing is really excellent. Only one very minor thing keeps bugging me: 'em is short for them. If you're referring to one guy, you need 'im, for him. I hope you don't mind my saying this; I mean no offense to you.

Best regards,
Leslie

[forever9218]

Thanks so much for the lovely comment and the great grammatical observation, Leslie. (Slaps head in an "A-ha" moment.") I really dropped the ball on that one, didn't I? Thanks to your keen eye, I believe I've been able to catch all the offending pronouns, and re-edited each one to a singular tense. Never hesitate to provide a gentle assist. After all, this fandom is a collaboration. It wouldn't still be thriving if we didn't continue to support and learn from one another.

Glad you enjoyed the chapter and are still reading along. Take care.

Love, Debra.